How to shift my mindset around the changes I need to make to lose weight and keep it off long term?

[youareherenow]

Recently started on a major weight loss journey as I have 80 - 100lbs to lose. I am using an injectable but not to try and lose weight super quickly by restricting calories to a very low amount. I know I need to also change my diet, exercise habits permanently if I want to keep the weight off once lost.

I've been going ok but currently hitting a bit of a wall mentally with all the things I will need to do and probably do for the rest of my life. For example I have been advised to do at least 6000 steps a day building up to 8000+ as I go on. In addition to do some cardio to improve my cardiovascular fitness at the gym 3 times a week as well as strength training at least 3 times a week. It takes me 30 minutes to walk about 3000 steps so an hour to do 6000 and an hour and 20 minutes to do 8000 steps. The add in the gym and strength training I will need to find 1 - 2 hours a day to exercise each week.

Then there is all the meal prep involved which is time consuming and what feels like the almost impossible task of getting enough protein, not to mention how expensive it is!

I have a new respect for gym bro's and bunny's as it seems like staying fit and at a healthy weight takes up so much time, effort and cash.

I quite like cooking but I don't much enjoy exercise, I never have even when I was quite fit, I liked yoga but that is it. I've never experienced endorphins from exercise and all the things I like to do are pretty stationary reading, playing piano and watching movies and I work as an illustrator so my work is pretty much sitting down and being as still as possible! So I know I do need to exercise.

Mentally though it feels a bit like a punishment and I know I need to change that if I am to succeed this time. I know I don't have to make all the changes all at once but I need to be working on incorporating those changes.

Any tips on how to shift my mindset so I don't see this as an eternal punishment?

In terms of the steps, would it help to not consider it as ‘exercise’ but just part of every day life? I do 10,000 steps a day usually but that’s just from living my life, I don’t do them consciously. I do try and walk anywhere that’s less than a mile. How many steps do you do normally in a day?
Have you tried strength training? I actively hate cardio but I enjoy lifting weights.
In terms of mindset, I find it helps to disassociate exercise from losing weight. Exercise is something I need to do to stay healthy and active into old age. I don’t want to be immobile or to suffer from avoidable health issues due to lack of exercise. It has very little to do with weight, for me.

Don’t over complicate it, at 62, I lost 28 lbs at 50, (still off ) reduce amounts in food amounts, take it easy, have things like cherry tomatoes with scrambled egg on toast for dinner!
Think of rewards not food based, keep occupied , enjoy life and good luck, xx

I'd already lost the weight when I read it, but I really recommend https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultra-Processed-People-Stuff-That-Isnt/dp/1529160227/.

It's nothing we don't already know. But by the end you'll feel repulsed by the garbage frankenfood we've been groomed to think is 'healthy', when in fact it's doing more harm than good.

@Youdontevengohere Thanks Yeah I think the steps are supposed to be like a substitute for normal life activity. I do usually walk to and from the supermarket which takes about 20 minutes each way but I do that once a week and I walk into town about once a month which is 30 minutes each way and maybe meet a friend every few weeks which involved walking about quite a bit but most days I am just doing things like cooking, housework or doing my illustration work so there would be less than 1000 steps all day I think! I go with my DP to the Gym 3 x a week after work which is a 20 minute drive each way. I'm just not an out and about kind of person. I am always busy and working on things at home but the physically activity isn't there and so I'd have to actually say ok I am going out now to get my steps up to walk for an hour or more for no other reason than to exercise, its that which I am struggling with.

@Nsky62 That is great you lost 28lbs and kept it off. I am afraid I have lost 80lbs before and put it all back on. The food I cook for my main meals is very healthy usually and I am a good cook but I did have a terrible issue with snacking on unhealthy things between meals. The injection I am not taking has helped stop all that so my diet is fine although I find it difficult to meet my protein goals. I'd need to eat about 18 eggs a day to hit my target of 100g of protein a day.

You don't need to do it all at once, and you don't need to do it perfectly. I follow a lady on Instagram, Henley Fitness she's very sweary but down to earth in her advice. Her mantra is "imperfect action". Can't manage 6000 steps, do 4000.
Can't get to the gym 3 times a week? Go once.

Whatever action you CAN manage, do that. It's far easier to incorporate small changes into your life, and build from there than to jump in with both feet try to do everything. Inevitably fail because, well, life. And beat yourself up, feel rubbish, and be back to square one.

So, starting small.
Steps - how much do you do each week? Increase that by 10%.
Cardio - ignore it for now - steps is fine
Strength - start with once a week. Two upper body push movements eg tricep dip, chest press. Two upper body pull movements eg lat pulldown, row. Two legs eg leg press, step up. One ab - plank or reverse crunch.

Food - start with breakfast. Plan 3 or 4 options with 20-30g protein, so you aren't eating exactly the same thing every day.

When that's familiar and not taking thought, do the same for lunches. But 5 or 6 meals.

Finally dinners - as many options as you can! Meals you can make and freeze so you have grab and go options for when you're tired. Include a couple of real favourites because it's ok to go over your calories now and again but don't hit the FUCK IT button and use it as a reason to eat all the crap.

Protein fills you up - over time, you'll find you're just not as hungry. I can 2000 calories worth of carb heavy foods and still be peckish, but 1500 with 100+g of protein and I'm done.

Once you start to see and feel the changes, that becomes the motivation. And I'm a sucker for a gold star, so use Hevy as my training app and love to get the little rosette for a PB, even if it's just one rep more than last week!

Take body measurements and photos before you start. Yes it's naff, but a couple of months in, when you repeat the photos and can see the changes you didn't realise were there, you'll want to keep going.

If you can afford it, buy a walking pad. Set it up in front of the TV and walk whilst watching a programme - then it doesn't feel like a chore.

Hope some of that helps. I started in the gym last September and thought I'd hate every minute, but the focus on lifting rather than cardio was a lot more interesting - and those initial strength gains are fast! Plus your leg muscles are big - a squat or leg press will get your heart pumping without the need to do a spin class.

@MattDamon I read this and totally agreed with it and to be honest the food I make for main meals is all pretty great stuff, home cooked from scratch, even soaking and boiling my own pulses, making my own bread and yogurts. However I probably have an addiction to sugar and struggled with eating a ton of cakes, chocolate and fizzy drinks between meals. The injection I am now on has stopped all the binging which is great but I am struggling with getting enough protein and the other issue which made me fat that I am just not much of a physical person I think I am even one of those people who are just very still compared to others who are more likely to fidget and move about more. Exercise feels very much like an unpleasant chore much of the time.

For example I have been advised to do at least 6000 steps a day building up to 8000+ as I go on. In addition to do some cardio to improve my cardiovascular fitness at the gym 3 times a week as well as strength training at least 3 times a week. It takes me 30 minutes to walk about 3000 steps so an hour to do 6000 and an hour and 20 minutes to do 8000 steps. The add in the gym and strength training I will need to find 1 - 2 hours a day to exercise each week.

Does the person advising you to do all this impossible stuff have any financial incentive for their considered opinion??

Are you veggie?

Assuming not, then try

Breakfast - skyr yoghurt with some seeds and berries - you'll get about 30g from that
Lunch - grill a chicken fillet and have it with quinoa and salad - another 30-40g
Dinner - anything with a portion of meat or fish will likely give you 30-40g of protein

If you are, then yoghurt, halloumi, tofu, quinoa and lentils are your friends. And I top up with a protein shake (the clear whey ones are like squash) and/or a protein bar (Yubi is nice, 100 cals for 10g protein and it's my sweet treat).

If you're tracking macros, concentrate on your calories and your protein - don't worry about fats and carbs so much, they tend to sort themselves out if you're keeping to the other two measures.

@WhatsitWiggle Thanks for that I appreciate that advice. I am going to start with strength training next week but I am just going to do something at home with a kettlebell and some dumbbells I have and I have some bands. I have found some beginner routines on you tube.

I did my photos and measurements today, it was awful but shows just how much I need to do this. I did find some old photos from about 12 years ago after a previous weight loss and it was interesting to see how my body was the same just much bigger. I think the last time I starved myself and did loads of cardio and was so disappointed with how my body looked after all that I kind of gave up. This time I need to do it right so no starving and strength training!

That is a good tip about the walking pad I will look into that!

No not at all its is a family member who is a PT giving me all this advice for free!

This Op ! Read this book.
get an Apple Watch and start small.

@WhatsitWiggle I am a vegetarian, which is a big issue getting the protein. I am not a fan of protein shakes but I am chugging them down. Ditto for protein bars but I might try and make my own.

I was worried about the fat content in things like feta and halloumi but at least that is real food! Eggs are probably a good idea again I always worried about eating too many but they are not as bad as eating three chocolate bars a day.

Its just a big mind shift really, I suppose that is why you have to just start small so as not to be overwhelmed!

@mountaingoatsarehairy I did read it and it is a great book, to be honest my diet has always been pretty good except for the binging on crap between meals but it was still eye opening!

I have a galaxy watch but I am sure I am not using it to best advantage just yet!

With walking/moving (which is probably a better way to think about it) there are a few things I do:

1. I meet a friend for a walk after work - 40 mins to an hour, chat while we walk and the time disappears.

1. If not, take headphones and I like to listen to current affairs radio/podcasts but I go through phases - sometimes a good audiobook instead. I listened to most of harry potter while walking during the pandemic.

1. This doesn't suit me particularly, but one of the NHS recommendations is 3x 10 min walks a day - you could start with that and build up?

I also remind myself that there's nothing special about stepping. If I go for a bike ride or to the gym and use the rower or I go for a swim, they're just as valid in terms of having moved my muscles and raised my heart rate.

For me the key thing is to find some exercise you don't mind - so liking yoga is a great start. I also like yoga and I like to swim for similar reasons - it's really good for my brain.

I really wasn't a person who liked exercise at all, but I have persevered and I do now have exercise I like - mainly for the social aspect tbh. So I had a friend I used to lift weights with and that was a great catch up time twice a week. I play badminton with another two friends - more socialising. Walking, again with a friend. Swimming depends - I sometimes do what I term a "lady swim" - head out the water, chatting, or a full swim I don't want anyone there really but that's more meditative.

I also really try and remind myself that a) it's okay to have weeks where you drop the ball but that's not a reason not to pick back up and b) anything is better than nothing.

Sometimes I will just promise myself I will walk to the car and if I still don't want to go to the gym I can go home. I usually want to go by the time I get there.

I've also massively increased the likelihood of me attending the gym by joining one that has a sauna. I love a sauna and it's a great way of making sure I do get some endorphins and a reward for going even if the exercise itself hasn't done that.

I do recognise it's really hard though. I find it particularly difficult because my gym's classes are often REALLY HARD WORK, and my still not hugely fit status really shows.

@Ineffable23 Thank you, I think I do need to just add in a bit at a time so go for a 20 minute walk rather than forcing myself to do 6000 steps. I do want to keep exercising, I didn't do any for about 7 years and I could barely walk for five minutes without getting out of breath and feeling my head pounding but even after just a few weeks at the gym my fitness improved so much! I do think that was pretty priceless!

That is a good point about joining a nicer gym, mine is very basic but perhaps one with more facilities would make it a more tempting prospect.

It is so much work though, I've spoken to a few people who have even decided not to date for the foreseeable because they are so focused on their fitness and health goals, it feels like it can become all consuming!

@youareherenow start strength training tomorrow 😉 even if it's just a few tricep dips using the sofa, a couple of body weight squats and a 10 second plank.

Imperfect action - just do SOMETHING.

I'm also veggie. Give me 5-10 mins and I'll find a list of high protein foods for you. It is harder than for meat-eaters, especially if you want to eat non-UPF. (Christ, that book was horrifying!!)

Re protein drinks...
Have you tried Clear Whey?
They are not thick.. more like squash and makes it easier to get some protein in.

I have a nice raspberrry lemonade one form Myprotein but here are loads of flavours

Absolutely this. I'm half way through and it's changed how I see food.

You are a veggie who can cook. Make a batch of seitan once a week. High protein and low cal.

Loads of veggies they fill you up, give you fibre and nutrients and even sneak in some protein. Plus when you get to goal, they are the secret of staying there.

Make a table of the protein sources you like. Cals vs protein. Keep variety in what you consume.

@WhatsitWiggle Ok I will! That would be great to get the protein sheet!

@Kyogo67 I haven't sound like they could be easier to drink!

Be less organised. I can get in 1,000 steps putting the laundry on 😊

to stop feeling like exercise, specifically walking, is punishment... that's what you mean, isn't it?

Finding other purpose in the walking might help. More active travel, see it as useful errands or healthy breaks in the fresh air.

Perfect is the enemy of good, OP.

My two tips are: go for a smaller number of steps to start with, say for a week, and do them any old how, housework, kitchen disco, brisk walk to the local shops, they all add up. Once you have done that goal for a week or two even, then add on another 500 steps.

My second is: if you have a bad day, shrug your shoulders and try again the next day. Not every day has to be perfect, you just don't want to make a habit of skipping it too much, so if you miss a day, so be it, do your steps the next day and there will be days you can't do it, are too busy with work or are ill or something, so this is a good plan for when life happens.

You sound like you are doing great, OP, using an injectable plus eating good smaller portions plus more movement, and you will see changes quite quickly I'd guess.

Strength training and walking are the only exercises I actually will do without wanting to quit them so this is what I do, home work outs using YouTube with weights walking and one Pilates class. I’ve lost 50lbs+ and I probably do 45 mins or so a day which isn’t a ridiculous target. Weekends I will dedicate a lot more time to walking as a specific activity so I choose places that require a lot of walking ie a river walk, going to a city, visiting a large park area and then it has become more normal and less onerous

walk places that are visually interesting if you can or stick on a podcast, favourite music and don’t count the minutes passing. I even listen to YouTube videos on walks sometimes and get a rhythm walking and then the time flies

your walk will get a lot faster as you lose weight, I can now walk 4-4.5mph without feeling dreadful but I couldn’t before

I don't need to go out much, work at home etc, very sedentary job. However I will try and see it as a fresh air break. Will be easier in the autumn and winter as I am not a fan of sunny weather!