How to shift my mindset around the changes I need to make to lose weight and keep it off long term?

[youareherenow]

Recently started on a major weight loss journey as I have 80 - 100lbs to lose. I am using an injectable but not to try and lose weight super quickly by restricting calories to a very low amount. I know I need to also change my diet, exercise habits permanently if I want to keep the weight off once lost.

I've been going ok but currently hitting a bit of a wall mentally with all the things I will need to do and probably do for the rest of my life. For example I have been advised to do at least 6000 steps a day building up to 8000+ as I go on. In addition to do some cardio to improve my cardiovascular fitness at the gym 3 times a week as well as strength training at least 3 times a week. It takes me 30 minutes to walk about 3000 steps so an hour to do 6000 and an hour and 20 minutes to do 8000 steps. The add in the gym and strength training I will need to find 1 - 2 hours a day to exercise each week.

Then there is all the meal prep involved which is time consuming and what feels like the almost impossible task of getting enough protein, not to mention how expensive it is!

I have a new respect for gym bro's and bunny's as it seems like staying fit and at a healthy weight takes up so much time, effort and cash.

I quite like cooking but I don't much enjoy exercise, I never have even when I was quite fit, I liked yoga but that is it. I've never experienced endorphins from exercise and all the things I like to do are pretty stationary reading, playing piano and watching movies and I work as an illustrator so my work is pretty much sitting down and being as still as possible! So I know I do need to exercise.

Mentally though it feels a bit like a punishment and I know I need to change that if I am to succeed this time. I know I don't have to make all the changes all at once but I need to be working on incorporating those changes.

Any tips on how to shift my mindset so I don't see this as an eternal punishment?

@WayOutOfLine "Perfect is the enemy of good" I should probably stick this up everywhere! Perfectionism has always been an issue of mine! Thanks for all the other tips and encouragement!

@Menora Do you have any workouts you recommend? I am not quite fit enough for proper hikes yet but I hope to be soon, I think I would enjoy that I think.

Sorry, took me ages to find the video it was on!

@youareherenow these are the most helpful screen shots - so food volume - start with your protein, add some fruit / veggies, then add the carbs.

Protein - tofu, seitan, tempeh are good and can be scrambled or grated to be more versatile eg grate a block of tofu, marinade in a bbq sauce (make your own with some oil and paprika), and then pop it into a wholemeal wrap with some salad.

Roast some chickpeas or edamame beans with some salt for a tasty snack. Or blend to a dip / pesto.

Egg whites are higher in protein than the yolks and you can buy bottled egg white now - egg white omelette, add a load of veggies, spoonful of cottage cheese or a sprinkling of feta

Halloumi salad with quinoa - make your own honey and mustard dressing, top with some flaked almonds - it's the textures and flavours that give the pleasure from food and stop us feeling like we're depriving ourselves. So the salad could have rocket, spinach, grated carrot, some raw pepper, roast some cherry tomatoes in the air fryer or oven along with some red onion, edamame beans. You can prepare enough for 2-3 days and keep in the fridge in portion sizes. You sound like a foodie so I'm sure you have a cupboard full of herbs and spices to liven things up already - I used Gousto for a few weeks to effectively learn to cook from scratch after years of beige freezer food.

Skyr yoghurt - naturally high in protein, seed mix (from supermarkets or make your own, especially if you have a local refill store) topper and chuck some berries on - I use frozen and defrost overnight, way cheaper than fresh
Quark is amazing too, really high in protein - it's more like a really thick natural yoghurt than a cheese.

I do fallback on protein bars and clear whey to top up, but my target is 120g at the moment from 1600 calories. When it was 100g, I could get most of that from food as long as I planned all 3 meals and a snack (when I started I wasn't even hitting 40g protein a day, it was a hell of a shift and took about 3 months). I use Nutracheck rather than MFP and put my planned food in there at the start of the day so then I can see where I need to adjust. I'm 9 months in, so whilst I still track, I pretty much know what I can eat without needing to plan so much, but it took time.

Remember "imperfect action" - you just need to start the change, not be perfect.

Walking workouts - my daughter likes one on YouTube called "Get fit with Rick"

@youareherenow i started off doing the Caroline Girvan YouTube 15-20 min work out videos, I didn’t even have any weights back then so did them with just body weight in my living room. I liked it so much I bought some £30 adjustable weights from Amazon. I still don’t match the weights that she does in her videos but I give most of the exercises a go and watched myself get better at them, faster and less out of breath. It’s been fun really watching myself get faster and fitter, I did get an Apple Watch this year as I now like to watch myself get quicker at laps of my housing estate while I get fresh air (I have a desk job) and listen to 2000’s dance music. It’s me time! Walking has made my legs stronger and I can even see the difference in my lung capacity!

I do this!! Sometimes I deliberately do things really inefficiently or in the wrong order (shopping in town, hanging out washing) to get loads of extra steps.

One tip is to get a book you really want to read as an audiobook and only listen to it on your daily walks.

Using exercise snacks to break up your working day is good for mind and body - 5 mins taking a brisk walk or doing a few strength moves all adds up and can offset some of the harmful effects of sitting uninterrupted. Keep a resistance band by the kettle and do rows or curls while it boils, or do calf raises while you brush your teeth. A walking pad is a great idea.

Finding active hobbies like a local birdwatching or history walk group would really help make movement fun and social. If there's a local parkrun lots of people walk it and you'll never be last.

Experiment with integrating activity into your day e.g. doing your shopping more often and carrying it home (strength and cardio in one!)

Oh and you might find Dan Lieberman's book Exercised interesting listening - it explains why we are so reluctant to do something our bodies need.

One more thought - two hours a week in the car driving to the gym is an awful waste of time - can you find a gym in walking/cycling distance or workout at home? When you're starting out bodyweight exercises are great and you can slowly build up some basic kit at home.

You don't need to do it all at once, and you don't need to do it perfectly.

That's the bottom line. You have already changed your mindset and made some important changes - the rest will follow. Reading Ultra Processed People is a game changer for many,

I wouldn't obsess about steps. If you are generally active, walk whenever and wherever during your days and go for long scenic walks at the weekend (maybe join a walking group?), it'll be less of a chore.

Find some online trainers so that you can work out at home. So you could do a workout at home instead of trying to squeeze in another 4000 steps or driving to the gym. There are some great 'walking at home' workouts too, for instance Lucy Wyndham Read. The great thing is you can listen to the radio while you work out at home.

Great online trainers, apart from Lucy:

• Growingannanas for HIIT/cardio
• Caroline Girvan for weights/dumbbell workouts (she is the best in my opinion)
• Heather Robertson and Sydney Cummings for general, pilates type workouts
• Rebecca Louise for quick 10-15 minute sessions
• Yoga with Kassandra for yoga and stretching

Doing abs work and a daily plank really helps . Try the Bowflex 3-minute plank.

Cooking:

• Pan fry or tray bake several days' worth of chicken or salmon.
• Boil several portions of legumes at a time. Ditto boiled eggs.
• Caramelise large quantities of onions and keep in the fridge.
• Chop up lots of herbs (parsley, fresh coriander, basil) and keep them in Tupperware in the fridge.
• Use cabbage, legumes and chicken/salmon/canned tune/boiled eggs to turn salads into a meal.

But it's the sticking to the 'I am a healthy person who works out and doesn't eat crap' is the key!

Some sort of fit watch is a great incentive

I wear mine 24/7 , it gets charged whilst in the car

When I started with mine last June, a Garmin, I could barely walk the length of myself and last June my daily goal - set by the matrixes - was just 7000 steps a day, its now , today, 13200. I average 12500 a day now, sometimes more, a few days a week a lot less - but thats the average

I joined Park Run - I cant run, I walk, great way of getting out the house and meeting people as well as getting the steps in

I used to only get in 4 flights of steps a day, now its 14 to 16

I do work outside of the house. I park between a quarter to half mile from my place of work so I get the steps in there

I dont do much in the way of formal exercise, I have a shoulder injury which doesnt help, but I do squats and lunges as Im cooking and now its dryer weather, the skipping rope is back out ( no one can see me bouncing about in the back garden )

I also dont like walking in the heat, so during the summer its around 8pm or later I head out. The road beside me is a mile and a half long and I know where the half mile and mile markers are, sometimes its just the mile walk which when I started was 30 mins walking, now its 15 mins - I can do the 5k in 45 mins

But thats taken me a year to get to this stage. And its now habit. I quite often really enjoy my walks, yes its the same road day in day out, but it changes with the seasons and I meet others out having their walks and might fall in with them or just stop to pass the time of day. It was constantly meeting the same neighbour that has given me a friend, we would meet so often we swapped numbers and would text when we were heading out so we walk together when we can and have made firm friends

Going from zero to hero overnight is just not possible. Its baby steps, its going at a pace that you arent hating and feeling its a chore/punishment. Incorporating what you can into your day, where you can. My neighbour also does things like dance exercise class which she invites me to, I have zero interest as Im so uncoordinated but walking is something I can do so thats what I do :) Also doesnt need any fancy clothes or prep, just comfortable foot wear and open the front door. ( bottle of water in the summer if planning on doing the 5k )

Veggie protein tables

I agree with the importance of small steps. If you’re doing great 80% of the time you’re doing great.

What worked for me was:

a) finding an activity I enjoy doing, if it’s yoga for you just do yoga, you can get incredibly toned from yoga alone

b) incorporating more movement in my daily routine activities. In other words inconvenience yourself. Walk to the shop. Take public transport. Leave the car a couple of streets away from your destination. Walk kids to school. Get an adjustable desk and draw standing for at least part of the day.

c) doing various fitness activities. Going to the gym is very boring for me and lifting heavier and heavier weights is boring and doesn’t resemble real life. Walk. Join a class that you love, it can be swimming, dancing, yoga. It can be YT or in person. We have three types of muscle fibres in our bodies plus a heart that feeds our muscles oxygen and nutrients. We need to train all four to be fit and healthy and this is best done by doing various things - some cardio, some resistance training, some things that improve our explosive power and agility.

d) least resistance options. Going to the gym takes time, but online trainings are in my living room. I hate wandering without purpose so I go somewhere for something instead. Can be whatever. Birdwatching or geocaching. Whatever works.

e) having fitness goals. I always wanted to be able to do cartwheels. I’m over 40 and determined to learn proper cartwheeling this year.

f) not worrying too much about protein. It’s good, but the longest living healthy populations on this planet do not eat a lot of protein, quite the opposite, they eat mainly plant-based diet. It might be good to keep protein up when you build muscle but a constant increased protein intake is not necessary. High protein alone, without exercise, does not build muscle.

Hey OP - interesting. In that case I am going to brutally honest and say that to me it sounds like there is probably an emotional element to you staying overweight and unhealthy. Some mental blocker that stops your doing better for yourself.

Maybe find a counsellor to talk to, or I found the Marissa Peer book ‘You can be thin’ very useful. It has a hypnosis to listen to which really helped me think about what I was eating and why.

I've been exactly where you are.

Veggie, two small children, love to actually cook, but run out of time.

13 months ago, I was obese. I've lost 33 lb.

The biggest single difference I've made, is exercise.

On Coronation Day, last year, I woke up, realised I had a significant birthday coming up, I was desperately unhealthy and setting a poor example to my children.

So, on Coronation day, I went out early, and tried the first Couch 2 5k run

It was 9 x 1 minute runs, with time in-between to recover.

It nearly killed me. At that point, I hadn't run willingly in almost 20 years.

I didn't even own a pair of trainers, and had my phone on speaker.

But, I'm a stubborn cow, and I refused to be beaten.

The next day, I went to my local supermarket, got a pair of unbranded trainers and a pair of ear buds that hooked over the back of my ears.

I didn't quit. I got up to 5k, over 10 weeks.
I cut back on alcohol, chocolate and cake.

There was one moment, at about 6 or 7 weeks, where the coach said, at the end of the run "you're a runner now", and I started crying.

Post exercise euphoria really was a thing.

Over the winter, due to the cold air being a trigger for my asthma, I had to stop running, but found an exercise class where I could take my child along. The time became available to swim whilst my eldest had her swimming lesson.

I have a Fitbit, and average 15,000 steps a day.

I'm back to running now, running 6 or 7k, three times a week.

On Sunday, I'm taking part in my first ever race. It will be 5k, and the first time I have run with other people since school. Last year, I would only run very, very early in the morning, so people wouldn't see me.

I'm still overweight. I've dropped 3 dress sizes, but still have 20 lb to lose, to be a healthy BMI.

But, I'm fitter, stronger and happier that I've been for most of my adult life.

My eldest child threw her arms around me, last week, and could hold her own hands together around my waist. She said "Mummy, you're shrinking"

I'm sorry for how self-indulgent this post has been. I've never shared all of it before.

I wish you all of the best.

Make a point of trying different activities and workouts - spinning, dancing, pilates, yoga, weights, high intensity workouts, low intensity workouts, callisthenics, group classes, barre, ballet, Zumba, anything goes! Now, trying all those for at least 2 classes is plenty of activity in itself (dashing between locations, too!). And then, when you finally find the activity that you truly ENJOY (you don't dread it, it challenges you but doesn't leave you feeling defeated), stick to it. Do it 3-5 times a week, and walk to the class and back - or take the bus halfway and walk, or just walk on the way there and bus back, whatever works for you and your schedule. Being consistent with whatever class you enjoy reaps much more benefits, than doing the most "efficient" trainings that you are dreading and skipping half the time.

I would add martial arts to the mix of things to try!
I do martial arts twice a week. It’s extremely empowering and great fun. It’s also a combination of strength, cardio, balance and agility/athletic performance in one go.

If you are interested in real self-defence I recommend judo or jiu-jitsu. Karate is also good and also contains meditative elements (kata) and is great for explosive power.

In my club they love total beginners. We have people from all walks of life, weights and ages training together.

It took me a good few goes to really get to grips with eating well as an act of self care. I had lots of help along the way, mostly from

https://www.eatinglessonline.com

and from Mumsnet's own low carb bootcamp

Hope you find what works for you.

Thanks everyone for all the recommendations they are all fab and I am feeling a lot more positive today! I just need to take baby steps and keep making small changes as opposed to getting overwhelmed by everything all at once.

The protein recommendations are amazing and all the fitness ones as well, I will make a point of trying out as much as I can!

I have no time right now as I have to go out but I will be back tomorrow to read and save all the info!

I also have a lot to lose & just back from holidays where we ate so much!

I'm not working atm so need to get into a routine. Have recently joined a different gym that's attached to a beautiful spa so the urge to lounge is strong. Finding useful hints here!

My two top tips:

1. Stop thinking of it as losing weight and start thinking of building a healthy lifestyle. That way you can count 'I did this' or 'I chose not to do that' as successes, whereas weight fluctuates anyway so you can do everything right and still not get an immediate result. The healthy lifestyle will pay off in the end and is also much more sustainable.
2. Read 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear. This is about how to make tiny, realistic changes that add up over time. Get a hard copy as you'll want to keep dipping in to different parts of it.

As an example, if you want to walk 6000 steps a day, start with putting on your walking shoes. That's it. You don't have to walk anywhere. Just putting them on is a vote for the new you (the concept is that like an election, you don't have to get 100% of the vote to win, you just have to have more helpful habits than unhelpful ones). The next day, put your shoes on and get out of the house. Another vote for you. You don't have to go further than the end of the garden, but if you think 'I may as well go round the block while I'm at it' and you actually do it, that's another vote for you.

If you genuinely don't like walking or being outside, see it as an opportunity to find some sort of exercise that you might like better. Hula hoop? Skipping? Online class? Dance class? Even with this, if you frame it as 'trying different things to see if I like them' you can count a success if you try it, whereas if you see it as 'finding something I like' you are setting yourself up for failure (unless you get lucky first time).

I spent 40 years trying to lose weight and nothing worked until I changed to this mindset. It took 18 months or so to lose 2.5 stone and it has stayed off with no problem for 3 years now.

Don’t wait to be motivated, choose to be disciplined.