DIET FAILED AGAIN thread 6- everyone welcome

[thenewaveragebear1983]

We made it to 1000 posts on thread 5, here is thread 6

@poorpaws I totally empathise. I don’t know why I’m doing it to myself. I start the week feeling really motivated and then gradually start getting more and more off track, then the weekend arrives and pretty much undoes any remaining loss. Then start again…. Over and over and over!

I feel like I need a really drastic change but I just have so many things on, I can’t get a straight run of weeks. I’m away next weekend as well. But then I could hopefully get 4 good weeks in- but I think did me that means no sugar and no bread and no alcohol AT ALL. I can’t moderate. I think the problem I’m having now is just because I can’t moderate. I have a bit then I end up having loads.

so yes, @poorpaws - I’m totally up for hiding the scales and just going back to basics on my food. Let’s do it!

Morning! How’s everyone doing?
it’s been a few days since I hid my scales, and you know what, I feel ok 👌 dh and I did a long run yesterday and normally I would weigh myself after but I didn’t, and we went out last night and I would normally check the damage of course in the morning, but I also didn’t. That’s really positive for me. Both of those are times when I’d be weighing to “punish” myself rather than actually to weigh myself, so that’s a really significant change for me. I’m really trying to make positive steps towards ditching the diet culture and focussing instead on the positive things I have done that benefit my health and made me feel good.

I didn’t sleep well last night as I’d had a few drinks and dh was snoring so I slept downstairs. I slept on the floor, but actually I feel really good today and my back feels great, maybe I should do it more often!

it’s workout day today, as I ran yesterday and I would really like to finish Caroline Girvan - but that would mean doing 2 sessions so I’ll do 1 and see how I feel. 2 might be pushing it! I’m going to prep some meals as well, I have bought 2 gym kitchen ready meals for some of my lunches this week but they are so expensive and I think easy to recreate so I’m going to try that.

Hi all. Made some carrot soup a couple of days ago as it was the first bag in the freezer I came across. Forgot how delicious it tastes for me so I will be stocking up for this to be a major part of my food plans. Hopefully leading to a slimmer waisteline.

I haven't had the chance to go to specialist fruit shops yet, so have been making do with supermarket which has been okish. I just need to use it up quicker and be more selective when shopping.

I'm finding brown bread / toast quite a decent option when I'm feeling bingy.

Also just doing regular, gentle stretches and housework to try burn some calories.

Hello everyone, can I come back? I fell off the thread and the diet and predictably, have gained weight. Starting back at a hideous 104.4 kilos. I’m going to weigh on Fridays and Mondays, walk every day, swim at least 3 times a week and calorie count on MFP. I’m going to start at 1800 calories a day, and drop if that doesnt work. My first target is to get back under 100 kg, and then 5 kilos a time until I get to 75. The extra weight is causing problems with my back, my ankles keep swelling, and I’m getting a stinky rash in the fat rolls. None of my clothes fit and I hate the look of me. Truly miserable.

Welcome back @Zebracat , of course you can come back. How has your day gone today?

how is the no scales going @poorpaws ? I am still on my ban, I realise I’m quite addicted to them because I have craved a weigh in today (how weird?). I think I had an ok weekend, not excellent. Nothing too dramatic. I say ‘I think’ because I am not calorie counting. It’s a bit scary….. I’m not even tracking or writing anything down. All I’m doing is just ensuring that each meal is nutritious and I’m not going over board. I know what a normal healthy meal looks like.

so today I had an apple, a banana and some chicken for breakfast (random, yes)

I had new potatoes and scrambled egg with salad and chilli jam for lunch. And a mini cola callippo (highly recommend)

I had a slice of cheese and a bit more chicken mid afternoon

I’m having skinless chicken thighs seasoned with Nando’s seasoning, a veg sachet and rice for dinner.

I genuinely have no idea how many calories this is. I think in a way it’s helping me because it’s making me think ‘do I actually need this?’. i also ran 5km and walked the dog.

@Zebracat 👋. Hi, lovely to have you back. I've not been doing well either so we'll sort this out together.

@thenewaveragebear1983. I haven't been near the scales and it hasn't bothered me which seems strange. It's probably that I've had a very unhealthy weekend and it's best not to know. What I do know is that very few of my many dog walking clothes are fitting me. I went through my wardrobe this morning, "no too small, no, nope, definitely not ..." that sort of narrative and ended up wearing virtually the same as I did last week.

Today I did much better (of course I did it's Monday, I always do well on Monday) - same old pattern.

We went to do our usual Monday morning food shop and the supermarket is closed for refurbishment until Thursday (no notices last Monday so we had no idea).

DP had this great idea that instead of going to another supermarket just a couple of minutes down the road, we would both spend three days living from the fridge, freezer and cupboards. I feel some strange meals coming in the next couple of days. I don't like frozen veg unless I freeze it myself so it will be fresh carrots and frozen peas with everything or baked beans maybe 😳

Today I have been cleaning cupboards in the kitchen so I guess I've been bending and stretching and I also did a leisurely dog walk. Injured dog is putting her paw down to the ground a little more and a lot less hopping so I'm hoping by next week we can go for longer walks quite safely for her.

I'm going to try this week, yes I know I say that every week but I really must do something soon. @Zebracat are you with me, are we both going to do this ?

Can I come back too...sorry been MIA again
This time dsd unwell and I hospital, combined with manic travel for work and juggling trying to get stuff sorted for a house purchase.
I feel frazzled by my family right now.
Anyway I've mostly stuck to my marathon training...and trying not to obsesse about scales as well.
I weighed yesterday at 72.3 kgs
Seems a bit stuck around this point.
Really really need to cut alcohol..but right now that feels too hard.
Anyone got any tips for stopping being the go to person to sort everything for everyone????

@Theredjellybean . I have been having counselling for years on that very issue. Hard won truths are,that no one thanks you for it, that mostly they resent you and that while you do all that, there is always something else you should be doing. In my case, my husband, not to stop him going off and doing someone else but just because it would have been more fun. I am really trying now, and people are beginning to tell us to make more time for us, as if it’s their idea, and very generous of them. I’m still very busy supporting the man who abandoned me whilst pregnant 40 years ago with his terminal cancer, and parenting someone else’s neglected child. But I’m not volunteering , and im doing less for them all. Getting thanked more.
Thanks for the welcome .

@Zebracat I’m sorry that you have been treated like that.

@Theredjellybean it’s a bit of a ‘trendy’ concept, but maybe investigate some inspirational podcasts or literature about setting boundaries and the impact that can have on your life and your mental wellbeing. So often we neglect our own boundaries especially when we have a busy life and others need us so much (when they are young for example, or troubled) that we neglect to respect our own needs. Putting some real boundaries back into our lives can be really empowering and rather than being a selfish act, is actually beneficial to everyone. protecting a small amount of time each day for your needs and, and this is key, it’s not negotiable, you respect it and ensure that nothing gets in the way of it, gives you a bit of yourself back. Putting a few things in place that protect your mental health and your wellbeing, also.

for me, it’s things like: I stopped making plans with flaky people, it’s too disappointing; I won’t feel any obligation to eat or drink any food that I don’t actually want (big one for me, and a game changer); I don’t take my phone when I walk the dog so I get a clear 30 minutes “off grid” twice a day. It’s a gradual process. I’ve been doing this for a while now and they evolve and develop to fit you, but the key thing is that your needs are as valuable as everyone else and before anyone else with respect that, you have to respect it first. I maybe haven’t explained it well.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hdmJkxSAi5rsAE9nFvJZj?si=Jcyde696Rum4rHhj_aX4zA

@Theredjellybean

And anyone else. I’m really enjoying Jessica Cooke’s podcasts at the moment, it took me a while to get into her but I like them a lot.

Oh thank you @thenewaveragebear1983, it’s not too bad, I’ve been blessed in many ways, and I have also learned to protect me time. But please please take your phone on dog walks. Turn it off, but have it with you. Essential if you have an accident, get attacked, witness a crime or lose your dog, and all those things have happened to me! I will certainly be looking at the links.

Thank you for tips.
It's very interesting about doing less and being thanked more ...I'm going to give it a go...
I did not drink last night.
So that's good

Hi everyone

I'm not nearly as eloquent as everyone else here but I "get used" as I put it, by people, especially by my only child. I dance around her like a puppy excited to be beaten. Now don't get me wrong, she is a lovely person (especially to everyone else) but I only see her when she needs me. For example, she does her weekly washing here so she walks in, puts it in the washer, stays for a little while then I put it in the dryer and fold it all (for her and two children).

I feel I irritate her as she likes to bring it whilst I'm on a dog walk and collect it when she's too busy to stay. Last weekend I went to look after her cat, walking over twice a day. It's hard to explain but I feel used and only needed when she wants something. A few weeks ago I arrived home from my hair appointment and she was here (surprise, she'd brought extra washing). I said "oh daughters here, she must want something" and she walked out and I didn't see her for a while (until she wanted something again).

I have to admit I've dropped a lot of flakey friends and "users". I've found it easier to just have DP and say hi to acquaintances rather than have close friends. But even last week I made chocolate cake for a friend who hates cooking so I'm still a people pleaser. Is that the issue? We like to please.

Anyway I'm waffling so back to the diet. I did well yesterday (as I said before, of course I did, it's Monday). I just have to continue for 6 more days to complete a good week (easier said than done).

Welcome back @Theredjellybean, it's good to have you here and I hope your life calms down soon.

Have a lovely sunny Tuesday everyone, I'm off for a dog walk now.

so the last few days I’ve been not weighing myself and not tracking my food, and I am really surprised by how ok I feel about it. I’m pretty certain I’ve been more careful than I normally would and I think I am making better choices. I’ve had 3 meals, a small snack and a treat each day. Today is my wedding anniversary so we are having a nice meal for 2 deal type thing but other than that my food has been good. As part of my new improved not being shitty to myself persona I am going to enjoy it and not beat myself up about it.

it’s very odd, but I feel slimmer. Maybe because I’m not constantly thinking about it 🤷‍♀️ who knows? Anyway, it’s all positive and it’s making me think about why I am so affected by the scales and the reasons why I track my food. The reality I know what a meal should look like, I know what is junk food, and I’m a pretty good judge of a balanced meal. I think by not training I’ve just trusted myself a bit better.

Hi @poorpaws , why can't she do her washing at her place?

I'd maybe suggest trying to arrange some quality time together doing something?

@thenewaveragebear1983 I haven't used the scales in quite a while now and think it wasn't helping. I'm just focusing on trying to plan and eat healthier by eating plenty fruit and veg and keeping busy. Seems to be doing the trick.

Doing well here, hovering a pound or so over goal weight. It’s great to be able to wear a lot of my clothes again, though some are a bit dated now as it’s been 6 or 7 years. I am continuing to weigh every morning, my new rule is if I gain 4 lbs I take action. I really do not want to regain what I have lost.

Hi everyone

@thenewaveragebear1983 I wish I could say the same as you. I think because I'm not weighing it gives me the opportunity to eat more as I don't see the consequences. I don't want to go back to weighing regularly but I also don't want to gain weight because I'm not holding myself accountable.

Last night I just couldn't stop eating. In the cold light of day I can see I had a very carb light day and I was ravenous all evening. I was in an "I just don't care, I'm hungry" mood and I was defrosting scones and cake and eating crisps and cereal all evening. This cannot continue.

@TalkToTheHand123 she doesn't have a washing machine or dryer. I shouldnt really moan because it was my idea. Long story but she was in a very abusive relationship and I made a lot of promises to make her go it alone with two young children. She has a very busy life, a full on job and her children have activities every night of the week and all weekend (football, swimming, gymnastics, cheerleading etc) so she has very little time for herself or me. I did text her on Sunday morning to see if she wanted to go to our cafe for a cooked breakfast but she was too busy. Guess I should just leave her alone but it's difficult sometimes as I have a partner who doesn't like to do much too.

@Sedgwick you are doing amazingly and have a good plan to stay on top of the loss. I so wish I'd have done this last November when I felt amazing but this year I'm struggling and seem to gain most weeks. It's really hard when you can't find the motivation. You, unlike me, have got this!

@poorpaws when you have a low carb day, are you eating enough fat? Especially in the early part of the day? This is the only way I can manage low carbing, I have to have eggs and mackerel or avocado or Greek yoghurt early on. Eating it when you feel ravenous in the evening doesn’t seem to work. By the time the cupboard raiding is happening, it’s almost too late.

I’m going ok not weighing and I feel much better but I could have gained loads as I’m not weighing myself! But trying to eat intuitively and actually thinking about my food as balanced meals is helping me feel a lot better generally. Who knows? I have decided I’m not going to weigh myself until this time next week- I’m away this weekend anyway. Yesterday was my anniversary and we had fish pie, cauliflower cheese and a mini sticky toffee pud from Waitrose. Very tasty but probably off the scale, and I had 2 glasses of wine. This morning I felt classically hungry after drinking, so I had a big breakfast (protein shake and a pitta with chicken in) then for lunch I wasn’t hungry at all so just had a few raspberries and a nectarine.

@thenewaveragebear1983 my low carb day wasn't a planned one so no, I didn't eat enough fat.

I raided the freezer yesterday and found a beef casserole with small potatoes that I had cooked some time ago. It was very tasty and served with a mountain of veg but I hadn't realised how few mini potatoes it contained (I can't actually remember but 3 or 4 and they were small) so of course I was hungry all evening. I should have had toast or similar but instead I defrosted sultana scones and lemon drizzle cake and didn't even stop there 😳

I can't wait to go shopping tomorrow but as the supermarket has been refurbished I'm sure it will be frustrating trying to find everything. I did at least get the fridge and freezer cleaned since there was less in there. I have no idea why but I hate cleaning the fridge.

I'm hoping to make better food choices this evening but we'll see. I think I'll feel much better when my fridge is full again and there will be more choice.

I’ve struggled a bit today. I ate bread for breakfast and lunch which I never do, so then I counted up my calories on nutracheck which I wasn’t going to do and as soon as I did I got all stressy about it. I didn’t eat loads of rubbish but i did definitely eat too much generally.
Anyway, will try again tomorrow. I think at least good lessons have been learned, namely that if I eat a big breakfast and 2 lots of bread, inevitably I will have exceeded my calories 🤦‍♀️

Good morning everyone

I'm not doing very well but I'm not giving up.

Today is the opening of our refurbished supermarket so I'm off later to try to fill my trolley with the right kind of food. I'm concerned it will be so different to what it was that I'll be there half the day trying to find my usual items.

I'm hoping with a lot of salad and fruit in the house I might actually knuckle down to the diet.

Not a lot else to report. It's lovely and sunny so a leisurely dog walk planned for this afternoon.

Have a lovely Thursday (hard to believe it's actually Thursday already, this week has gone so quickly).

I’ve had a better day today. I just had my three meals, nothing else. Loads of water, few cups of tea. I did day one of a 50 session workout programme, it was a tough leg day, and walked the dog twice. I’ve not had many carbs, had a gym kitchen ready meal and veg for lunch which really helped keep me going actually, and for dinner had seasoned chicken and salad.

I am so, so sick of myself. I've binged again on chocolate, cake, crisps.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I'm bingeing with a very wilful "I don't give a damn" attitude and I know tomorrow I'll be so sorry and very cross with myself.

June is my favourite month, I love June and this year I've felt really down and a bit sorry for myself. I have to sort myself out tomorrow, this can't go on. I have a fridge full of fresh fruit, salad etc and yet I'm craving chocolate.

Tomorrow I have to make a plan and stick to it. Tonight I'm going to bed disgusted with myself.

@poorpaws don’t be disgusted with yourself, you are a lovely kind good person. I have no doubt everyone on this thread has benefited from your kindness. I certainly have. Thank you.

If you don’t mind I would urge you to look at what you bring into your house. If you are serious about making changes you need to stop buying biscuits and cakes, you need to stop baking cakes. What is your priority? Do you want to people please your family, DP and friends and eat whatever in exhaustion or do you really want to lose weight and feel healthier? I have no doubt you know exactly what to do to lose weight. It’s a choice. It’s your choice.

Realise I will have to leave thread for being rude. I feel so much happier without 2.5 stone of fat, for me it’s really worth skipping the junk. Read more, exercise, see friends who make you laugh, volunteer, whatever, just turn your focus off food onto something else.

I hope I haven’t upset anyone. Genuinely grateful for this thread, it’s been a big help to me. Thank you.

Good morning

@poorpaws please, as @Sedgwick said, don’t feel disgusted with yourself. It’s only food. Draw a line under yesterday and start today right. I also agree about making things easier for yourself and not putting those temptations in your home in the first place. I’m like you, if it’s there I will eat it, I try buying things I don’t like for the dc but I still eat them. Do you remember the twirls a few weeks ago? I think I ate 8 of the 10! It is so much easier if those things just aren’t there. I have to tell well meaning grannies that they can’t buy sweets for the kids because I will eat them and they get very affronted, but hey- it’s my life, my issue, and quite frankly I don’t have enough hours or energy to run the miles to undo it, so it’s far better not to eat it in the first place!

i totally understand when you’re in the spiral as well, every day just seems to end in the same way and it’s like I can’t snap out of it, but then suddenly one day it all just sort of clicks into place and suddenly it’s game on again. For me that always comes when I sort out the basics. I drink loads of water early in the day, I cut out processed foods and plan my meals and cook new things. I get my protein in. It sounds very obvious and it is, but I know it’s not easy and I have to ‘ride out’ a few days to get back on track.

we’re all with you @poorpaws because we have all been there!