I want a different me! Do you?

[DoctorDolittle]

Accountability thread. I piled on a huge amount of weight at start of menopause, was ravenous all the time, and am really struggling to lose it. I thought an accountability thread that also focused on increasing self-care and self-worth would be good.

So - food wise I think I’ll try “no snacks”, that gives some wiggle room with meals to be what I most fancy/will fit in with kids the most.

Self-care: I bought a whole new skincare regime a month ago, just start using it woman!!! Am pampering my decades-long neglected feet each night and have booked in to salon for eyelash tint and curl as now suddenly need to wear glasses and want to feel better about eye area behind them.

Fluids!!!

Any company would be welcome 😊

I'm at the airport. Had a portion of porridge with milk and five pistachio nuts and coffee earlier. Weight coming off again.😅 I did an hour's walk yesterday without dog which helped
Usually I eat wraps, big doorstep sandwiches at airport and flapjacks, so going to drink water instead until I land.
Soo looking forward to seeing my Irish garden. It sounds a bit like yours @DrDoolittle but I suspect lawn will be sky high and dandelions ....oh dear .

Quick check in here, it's been a manic day, hope everyone is well.
@Nettleskeins you're arriving to lovely weather for the next few days, you'll get loads done in the garden. I've just been out in ours & the birdsong is delightful, I put an app on my phone called Merlin & it identifies the birds as you do a recording, it's amazing to see the amount of different birds we have.
@DoctorDolittle Freshly caught Mackerel, fair play, that's great.
Dinner here was beef strips with Black bean sauce & boiled rice, & I've had a fair amount of water, all good, weigh in tomorrow morning. 🤞🏻

Sounds like we’re all doing well. 😊

Busy day here: mucked out stable and mended field fence that gets battered by the Atlantic, did some gardening and drove 40 miles round trip after school for swimming lessons. Plus, confirmation from Consultant that the next step for DD is a wheelchair. I’m gutted and also glad she’ll have what she most needs - huge mix of emotions but I didn’t eat my feelings!

Tomorrow I have work and DD has Occupational Therapy…think I’ll do us all omelette and salad for dinner. I’ll try and have Greek yoghurt and blitzed berries at some point and maybe some roasted chickpeas to keep in a Tupperware for nibbles.

Have been waking up so early ever since concentrating on weight loss. I’m not sure why, don’t feel hungry or thirsty immediately. It’s crept back from my standard 6am to 3.30am. Yawn.

HRT helps me to sleep properly. It's the progesterone part I think.
But the light wakes me too, I'myh a person who needs blackout blinds. And any sort of worry/preoccupation wakes me very early. A sort of getting ready to do battle feeling.

Yes, a wheelchair sounds gutting on one level @DoctorDolittle but then it may give her freedom on another. "Eat my feelings" ..I've never heard that before but it is so true, I often do it when I'm incredibly angry.

@Misshollys my garden here is a bird's paradise. I've never seen before the sight of two birds delicately nibbling a dandelion clock; I think if I wasn't supposed to be mowing I could start photographing all the different kinds of birds, but alas I think the mowing will scare them away. I tend to avoid strimming though for fear of nests.

Last night I had 3 fish goujons, a tin of mackerel, broccoli and pearl barley plus two tablespoons of Centra Coleslaw. But I didn't have lunch!

I like to see the sky at night, so usually have my curtains open. I could try closing them for a few nights.

We have yellowhammers visiting the bird table at the minute, lots of goldfinches and sparrows. Robin, thrush and blackbird make regular appearances but there are never any starlings. It’s also been four years since there were any blue tits.

@DoctorDolittle Eat my feelings,,, I'm so guilty of this, really trying this time to fight it. I hope your daughter gets sorted asap, & transitions to the wheelchair smoothly, I appreciate it'll be hard for you all. U@Nettleskeins unfortunately HRT doesn't help my sleep at all & I am on a sleeping pill but I'm trying unsuccessfully to wean off it. I stress when I know I have to be up early for work & I'm not falling asleep so I tend to take one so I'll get a few hrs before the early start.
Going for a quick walk now but I did a recording on the app last night, the birds were in full volume, it was lovely, I got all these, we also have visiting woodpeckers but I've not been able to capture the sound on the app yet.

Thanks @Misshollys I had to look blackcaps up as they are new to me. Do you get many?

Exercode today was rearranging my living room. Think it’s much better. Had very little to eat as just not hungry - had protein and berries. Since I turned forty a few years ago I no longer overeat when stressed, I go completely off food, and I’m still not used to that but I do accept it. Consultant physiotherapist appointment tomorrow, once it’s over I know I’ll be able to breathe and eat. Plan to have some simple chicken, brown rice and steamed greens.

@DoctorDolittle There seem to be a good amount, the birdsong in the evening is so lovely, some great weather here at the moment thankfully.

Today's food was: teaspoon of peanut butter, some stewed rhubarb (breakfast)
More pearl barley plus rest of goujons and rest of broccoli (lunch)
More pearl barley, green salad with oil and vinegar, tomato sliced, and a bit of smoked salmon.
My father came to supper but he brought his own food because it was impromptu and I told him it was very dull food (pearl barley)
I've been gardening frantically all day. A bit like taking a bite out of an elephant. I started with the mowing. That took what felt like hours (emptying the grass box is like weight lifting)
Then moved on to staring at the garden from different angles, wondering what my master plan is.
Before pulling up some weeds (thousands left) creeping buttercup is my enemy
Tomorrow maybe I'll tackle some of the many many trillions of nettles.
Anyway it looks a lot better and food did not enter my thoughts really!

@Nettleskeins a bite out of an elephant 😆😆

I’ve loads of creeping buttercups too, and staring around wondering about the master plan is surely the biggest part of gardening haha. My front garden is getting there, but it needs time to mature. I do love watching my saplings grow. I had tried to have lavender bordering the whole garden path, it was lovely for two years but it’s just too wet here…now, need to rethink. Maybe dwarf rhododendron and dwarf lupins, interspersed with daffs/tulips/alliums.

You all sound so wonderfully busy - with all this travelling, gardening and fishing etc! I've only got a small front and back garden - I love them both and lots of plants in the back but I'll admit this isn't down to my hard work, so I can't join in with the gardening talk!

I've got a few things to think about/move on today (day off work) as the last two days haven't been great - in addition to feeling tired in general I've struggling with one of my feet at the moment (prone to plantar fasciitis), but really both of then ache at the end of the day - at the moment it is still there at bedtime and in the morning. Plenty I can start (again) doing about that - sadly losing weight will take quite a while...but that isn't the only thing. Unfortunately my job requires me to be on my feet for several hours a day and there is no escaping that.

Food-wise the egg cups and salad for breakfast (around 11 am) are working really well at keeping me full and I have no interest in eating at work after that. I don't want soup when I come in either though so need to re-think that. Might make up a couple of salads for the fridge instead...have dinner earlier...not sure. I had a Charlie Bigham's fish pie with lots of veg for dinner last night as couldn't contemplate cooking. No idea about tonight. Clearly need to go shopping again.

I've got the ZOE app until Mid-August so it makes sense to try recipes from there (& find out what of various items scores highest for me - Rivita wins for Crispbreads so far). I've also got WW until October - so was trying their recipes too. WW have just gone app only and that was my biggest gripe about ZOE though! I want to plan sat at my desktop with my lovely big computer screen - not scrolling through a tiny phone. Maybe I should challenge myself to try one recipe from ZOE, one from WW and one from my bold bean cook book every week...and find some go-to favourites.

I hope the consultant physiotherapist appointment goes well today for your DD @DoctorDolittle

I'm sleeping quite badly in Ireland these last two days and it's definitely the sun coming in the windows too early. I have blackout blinds in London. Will rig up one tonight...have blackout lining somewhere. It's been winter for so long and I was so grateful for any sun at all last time I visited that I'd forgotten my morning sun "allergy"! My bedroom here is south east/south west.
Feel shattered from only five hours sleep...despite all the energetic activities, reminder to self...early bedtime in the countryside v important.

Today; nettle pulling, tree pruning, and turn the compost and spread some of it.

Hope you get more sleep tonight with the black-out lining @Nettleskeins ! Is this your second home in Ireland?

My elderly dog has decided that he needs to get up earlier and earlier (he sleeps in a basket at the foot of the bed, but paces up and down the side of the bed whimpering when he decides it is time to get up) - so it has been an earlier bedtime for us both for several weeks now.

Just bought Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's 'Eat Better Forever: 7 Ways to transform your diet'. Considered buying his 'how to eat 30 plants a week', which is out today first...so yet more choice to overwhelm myself with 🙄! I think I may reorganise the kitchen dresser shelves today - bring back the cookbooks from my office.

Yes, it's a retirement home for my old age but it's a holiday home at the moment. I bought it in 2019 to be near my parents

@Verlag foot pain is so demoralising, sending sympathy. Your cookbooks sound nice, bold beans sound my cup of tea and I do like Hugh F-W.

@Nettleskeins it’s become summery very quickly, we’re not used to it hahaha.

I should be busy today but I’m very tired and achy and am suffering from hay fever for the first time in my life!!

@Verlag I suffer from plantar fasciitis too so feel your pain, my weight loss has definitely helped but I also have inserts in my work shoes which really allow me stand for 9 hr days, sometimes though the only thing is to take some ibuprofen to help.
@Nettleskeins summer in Ireland is about to end on Monday 🙈 rain & colder temperatures returning, hate to be the bearer of bad news, not sure how long you're over here for.
@DoctorDolittle Thats strange you've never suffered from hayfever before, can you try take something to help, i remember from friends though some of the over the counter stuff makes you drowsy.
All good here, making Katsu Chicken curry for dinner, a semi healthy sauce from a jar lol, with lots & lots of veggies added. Will do 2 nights too, I've 2 very early mornings ahead of me, work tomorrow, up after 3am & then Saturday morning , myself and my son are walking in "Darkness into Light" it starts at 4.15am & you walk 5k so the sun comes up as we finish. It's an annual event & shows support for those affected by suicide & raises funds for Pieta house, a charity for suicide awareness. We walk at Courtown in Wexford which is beside the sea, its a very beautiful and emotional walk. I'm looking forward to it.

We ve had a family member (not immediate family) affected by this .. yes, it is the questions left behind, that torment. Finding resolution is so very hard, often it can come in the strangest ways. My great aunt lost her son nearly 40 years ago as a teen and when her grandsons came along she was such a devoted granny to them as teenagers, it was almost as if something had been healed.

And everyone knows what it's like to feel there is no way out, we've all suffered being on the brink; as we get older we are perhaps better at knowing it will affect others.

I'm only here till Saturday and then other commitments take me back to UK.
I've pulled up lots of nettles, dug out an annoying shrub, kept to meal plan and did some walking. Meals have been very simple, with limited ingredients (no time to grocery shop and don't want leftovers wasting)
Breakfast Rhubarb
Lunch smoked salmon dandelion leaves coleslaw and a bit more pearl barley (!!!)
Supper: mushroom omelette and a bit of cheese
Water to drink

NB This issue affected someone in my wider family just last year(not just my great aunt) .

@Verlag and @MissHollys I can't believe you both have to stand for so long in the workplace. It sounds inhumane.
@Verlag we eat Charlie Bighams fish pie ! I don't like the moussaka though..
. Perfect for two people with lots of veg.

It's funny how hunger just evaporates once you cut down. It is like an uncomfortable feeling by 6pm but I don't even register it as "hunger". I find looking at cookbooks actually reminds me to find food interesting again...it wasn't like this in first week; then I was really deprived and obsessed by every little morsel!

@DoctorDolittle I have a low box hedge in Ireland, apparently wind is good for box as it ventilates it. But it does have some bare "blight" patches now. I bought some Pittosporum Green Globe (I think Tom Thumb is a dark red small one) to put in under window bed by side path and it is quite solid and restful! But more pricey than proper hedging

@Misshollys that sounds a really heartfelt activity, I bet it brings solace to many.
My exH years ago suffered from hay fever dreadfully, I researched like crazy and discovered nettle tea is amazing for it - it gets rid of all symptoms for half an hour and you can drink all day long. I may need to make some. DP is a farmer, nearly 70 years old and all of it right here, says our pollen is very high at moment…the puddles are thick with it.

@nettleskeins I’d like to try Christmas Box as a hedging. Can’t make up my mind which way to go.

4.5hrs to do a usually-twenty-minutes-there-and-back school run today. Long detour on single track roads, but thoughts tonight really are with the motorcyclist who sadly lost his life, and his family.

Very tired. Sore back from weeding. Going to walk the dog, muck out the horses, do school run then meetings all day and it’s youth club tonight. Feel a little ugh tbh!
Food plan is chicken with wild garlic pesto, and salad. Followed by raspberry baked oats. Lots of fluids - I want to buy myself a good water bottle that will take ice cubes easily and not leak but no idea on make.

@Misshollys sorry to hear you're affected by plantar fasciitis too. I very rarely reach for the ibuprofen - I should. Go to is wine. Which is a bad choice, of course. I caved and had some last night (encouraged by DH) and I regret it now. I've got inserts too and kybun shoes - think I need new ones for work though (going to try something else). Also nearly every gadget out there.

I put in a major effort into sorting this out 5 years ago - lost weight, lots of Pilates reformer, swimming (and exercises in the pool). Then Covid struck and I went back to my old ways (creep started just before this). Definitely been worse for a few weeks now, so I must start doing the exercising etc. and buy the new shoes. Even just a hot or cold foot soak helps - I bought some Epsom salts yesterday for this purpose.

The 'darkness to light' walk sounds so beautiful, in many ways.

@DoctorDolittle Thank you for the sympathy!

@Nettleskeins Yes, the Charlie Bigham's fish pie is rather nice! I don't have to stand for as long as MissHollys but I'm a teacher so at least half of my working day is standing/walking. I'm part-time so also not as bad as it could be.

I cleared the kitchen dresser yesterday - washed all the storage jars, and put most of them in the back of a cupboard (many had out of date grains in I just kept that for 'display'). It definitely looks better and a step forward with the deep clean the kitchen really needs. Cooked a black bean bake out of the bold beans cookbook last night - at DS request. It was very nice but it had cheddar on it, which I would normally avoid. Keeper from it was thinly sliced red onion soaked in lime juice and salt, and the dressing which was half fat creme fraiche blended with a bunch of fresh coriander - will try Greek yogurt next time (and leave out the cheddar on top).

Plan is to WI tomorrow - face whatever it says, and draw a line under the last two weeks. I'm expecting a small gain.

What a long day you had yesterday driving @DoctorDolittle my back hurts if I drive at all far, and poor poor motorcyclist. Not surprised today feels overwhelming. It is the weekend tomorrow though...take heart

Blackout lining on a net rod worked a treat. This is the lucky lining from a short single curtain I made by hand when ds was a baby. 24 years old and still in use. Curtain itself has been repurposed. My new curtains are Laura Ashley pussy willow in blue/grey/cream cotton from Next but they are definitely translucent despite lining.

I like the sound of your bean book but I wouldn't ditch the cheddar - isn't it a way of upping the nutrient absorption in beans?@Verlag Wine makes me ill nowadays..DH has been off wine for medical reasons for 6 months and he said he is so looking forward to a glass of health giving red. His father has a glass a day and still with us active and intelligent at 93. But I can't really "tolerate" alcohol any more, it destroys my sleep.a glass of prosecco now and then I feel is allowed but only a lunchtime celebrations!

Evening all, just popping in to say hello, & hope everyone is doing ok. I had a 10 hr shift today, Communion season is well & truly on, I need get us sorted here for the early start in the morning, I'm well able to jump out of bed after 3am but the others aren't 🤣🤣
I'll try catch up tomorrow night after we return from Dublin, I'm hopeful of getting back to bed after the walk for an hr or 2 before getting up for the trip to my Mam.
Beautiful weather here still 😀😀