I want a different me! Do you?

[DoctorDolittle]

Accountability thread. I piled on a huge amount of weight at start of menopause, was ravenous all the time, and am really struggling to lose it. I thought an accountability thread that also focused on increasing self-care and self-worth would be good.

So - food wise I think I’ll try “no snacks”, that gives some wiggle room with meals to be what I most fancy/will fit in with kids the most.

Self-care: I bought a whole new skincare regime a month ago, just start using it woman!!! Am pampering my decades-long neglected feet each night and have booked in to salon for eyelash tint and curl as now suddenly need to wear glasses and want to feel better about eye area behind them.

Fluids!!!

Any company would be welcome 😊

Hi all, just popping in to say hi & hope everyone is well, you all sound like you're getting on ok or great 😁
I'm going to step away from the thread for a while if thats ok? Things here have been very rough going, from being flooded in the thunder storm last week, to my friend getting a very bad diagnosis to us trying to get away to get a nights break & the car giving bad trouble, thats the worst of it with lots more bubbling away & as a result my head is not in the game at all. I need to get things calm again & then start work on me. I'm going to walk when i can but the food choices have been very erratic.

I hope you all continue to do well & I have loved this little group so hopefully will be back in time, thanks for all the support, its been great, xx

Oh no re flooding and the car jinxing the night away, also the poor friend 😔@Misshollys . I think worrying about food is the least important thing at the moment.
I don't think anyone's food choices are bad, or procrastination it's just what we need to get through today, this week, this month.
I've not had a particularly good week either with food, but I'm realising food is a social thing or an anti social thing so being here by myself and not sharing with anyone, has very much made food boring and lacklustre.

I had some nice low carb salmon and mushroom and chives with cream yesterday,today was bananas and cheese and a fruit scone from green grocer (that's the Rain diet I fear)
I've done a bit of exercise pulling up weeds but had a blister from my 5 km walk (DH said it was 8km when I told him the destination and back) so didn't walk much again apart from the village shop.
I did buy some weighing scales which I'm relieved to say show my weight has "maintained" at low 87,kg

@EasternEcho I think a lot of exercise can cause your body to hang onto weight. When I started this new me I remember being careful not to overload myself with demands because eating less was stressful enough.

Eventually exercise became an appetite suppressant but low carbing does need lots of cream snd buttrr nuts and seeds oils to sustain you.
I do find a few carbs of the brown variety did help shift the pounds because they filled me up so I didn't need so much. Also I like chewing!!!

I've still a builder on the roof mending my chimney, so many leaks all winter, and now it's being re rendered as it was cracked. His collie is peacefully waiting for him to come down off the roof but occasionally looks skyward to check on his master. Otherwise I've been strimming the vegetation so that some starter shrubs see the light of day rather than disappear under the creeping buttercup and nettles and docks. Indoors I've broccoli and book choi mushrooms and some eggs, so a Chinese themed chive omelette stir fry I think for supper!

He has been explaining to me about so called concrete pebble dash from 1960 is probably lime pebble dash which would explain why modern paint doesn't suit it...it's flaking off...(Plasterers are a fount of knowledge) I've also been hearing a fair bit about the crash of 2008 and how it affected the skilled trades...apprentices who would have become builders just didn't get trained up and come through the system to 2024.

I had a two egg omelette with olive oil, bok choy and a large amount of broccoli also two slices of THIN white sourdough bread and a banana. It's freezing outside. Now drinking some hot water to keep me warm. Heating is on again.😁

Heavy duty mowing and I'm v hungry ..had a cheese sandwich no butter , plain raspberries and a slice of carrot cake (nuts and cream cheese surely?)
Breakfast was ham and bread no butter
Water and plain tea to drink - have run out of coffee and milk

Hope everyone is alright. I'm back to London tomorrow. Just need to up my exercise/the gardening today.

Spending a fair bit of time walking round house with a measuring tape thinking about outdoor porches/pergola. But the rain makes me wonder whether it is an unnecessary addition. Dithering again!!!

Your food always sound great @Nettleskeins ! Sounds like another busy few days in your Irish house!

Thank you @EasternEcho . Made some progress today, thank goodness - big mental leap with the decluttering/furniture placement - less is definitely more. Hopeful that it is the start of decluttering and deep cleaning everything again - not just every room, but my mind and body too. The is a lot of truth in action comes motivation! I also ordered a little book of Maya Angelou quotes for a bit a daily wisdom coaching.

With Action comes motivation. So true.

@Verlag I feel as if I've been trying to declutter and all the rest of it for 30 years. I think it is about making decisions and that is what I find very hard. Luckily sometimes decisions make themselves.

It's still light here at 10pm and I've only just stopped wandering around the garden. Frustratingly there is no veg patch cos it gets too overgrown when im not here and I converted it to a flowerbed with the existing blackcurrants and rhubarb and rasberries. But I know I'm going to regret not having anything so I've been sprinkling lettuce seeds fecklessly in my island flowerbed. I thought I had got rid of the potatoes but they ve popped up in my azalea bed. They arent giving up!! So I've been mulching the poor creatures with grass cuttings.

I put the rest of the carrot cake in the freezer. 😁

Supper was half a tin of cannellini beans with mushrooms, olive oil, thyme and two fried eggs. I actually don't feel hungry now thank goodness

So doing well in that I've managed to bypass all the giant Toblerones in the Duty Free, and bring a packed lunch.

Just read a piece by Madeleine Dore on substack about how every segment of our life is part of a web and when we feel downcast it's because we don't realise that even a few segments, or even one, will keep the web up, and perhaps we make the mistake of trying to spin more than one segment simultaneously!!!!!!
Who knows ..

Can't say I fully understood that @Nettleskeins but it sounds intriguing - I've looked up Madeleine Dore and I've lined up a podcast called 'routines and ruts' to listen to in a minute...

Continued with the decluttering, a bit. It is definitely never-ending, I guess it is housework though.

Listened to my first episode (well actually the last in the series, which was a taster for the audio book) - all about the rut - nails how I feel to a T! I'll listen to the first episode tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation @Nettleskeins !

I've only read one of her posts - the most recent on Substack, because I was reading something else, and it popped up...so, serendipity.
I just thought the image of our lives as an intricate web composed of segments was quite intriguing.

Supper has been,
Meaty sausages x 4
New potatoes x 2 (medium)
Mangetout and green beans with butter and parsley
Snack was humus and cucumber
Now drinking lemon and ginger tea to stop further eating.

DH has rearranged living room. I'm so grateful. No decluttering though, that is not his thing. Still a bit of rearranging works a treat.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine!

I'm feeling determined this afternoon. Strong sense that I need to toughen up and fight for what I want a lot more - even if it is hard. How that plays out practically is a different matter, at least the will is there!

@Verlag Happy to see a post. Was wondering where everyone was :)

I'm now struggling to keep to low carb when I am seeing no results, but trying to still keep it at under 50 grams of carbs a day. Not weighing myself these days and focusing on the fact that improving myself doesn't mean always fixating on weight, but trying for improvements in other areas as well.

I pulled my sewing machine out and made a summer skirt for my daugher. It's a patchwork skirt in citrus-y colours that turned out quite well.

@Verlag I share your feeling of having the will and wanting things to change. But battling the practicalities of that every day.

Have a great day!

I've finally broken the 87kg sound barrier and reached 86.95kg. that has taken about three weeks 🤔although I shouldn't be surprised, it was the occasional pizza or toast with butter and the carrot cake that was the culprit.

I love sewing. Dd now does costume design at uni. It's been one of my strengths that has fallen by the wayside in the last twenty years; she has taken it and run with it! im not sure whether I've just evolved to garden and paint rather than sew but fabric and colours make me very happy.

I'm tackling a very messy upstairs bedroom today (ours) It has a wonderful view but some reason it's a depressing pile of clutter up there. So onwards and upwards!

Paint walls I mean!

@Nettleskeins Congratulations on breaking the 87 kg barrier!

No tidying done but a long dog walk and ate sensibly plus wrote a letter to a friend whose husband is very very ill, which I had been putting off. Bought some more cards and envelopes to make writing easier and less something to procrastinate over.
Also managed calm and cheerful chats with both dses.
Ds2 sent me a picture of himself in the lake district on top of a hill with his sister's pink stripey sock on one foot and a yellow sock on the other. Not intentional I can assure you, just his usual bad packing.
I didn't "carp" which is a feat for me

Long day at work yesterday (well for me 7.30 - 17.30) but I enjoyed it. Eating sensibly is never a problem there (as long as I make the effort to pack it). When I get home though...if only I had a personal chef to make me a healthy meal almost upon arrival! Definitely time to up the meal prep battle. I guess this is what I mean by the realities.

I'm impressed by the sewing @EasternEcho and @Nettleskeins ! I made an attempt to get into it a few years back by joining a small sewing class at a local shop. It didn't last long - it was never more than the owner, her daughter and me...and that turned out to be not great at all (reasons not related to the actual sewing), and I'm still a bit sad about it!

Well done on going sub 87 kg @Nettleskeins !

Verlag what sort of things do you think would help with healthy meals planning/prep, (besides the chef, that is)?

I'm not surprised you are so hungry after a long day on and off your feet.

I've done a lot of walking today, and due to my very poor/planning and map reading skills stupidity ended up carrying heavy groceries across North London to a friend, so it's been like a day at the gym one way or another. Bought friend some rather sickly pudding which I shared; it I think will be enough to get me through till 7.30pm. sugar tastes just too sugary now 😝

I've just go to meal plan to some extent - I think that is the only answer. Keep it simple. I've grown lazy with in, in part because of the following...

DH is very stuck in his ways foodwise (fussy eater I guess) - likes his food plain. Meat, carbs and a little bit of veg man. I just can't eat what he wants to eat on a regular basis - so now he pretty much sorts himself out and we only eat as a family once a week. In addition, his work meant he often wasn't there in the evenings but usually ad hoc - hard to plan in advance. Also means eating late to eat with him.

DS and I like to eat in similar ways (healthy food with lots of veg, spices, try new things etc) but timings around food are not good for me. He wants to eat at 8 pm/often will be out for food but that isn't great for me. I want to eat more like 5/5.30 pm I think otherwise it is snack them and a meal close to bedtime (which is what I do and end up overeating).

DS is cooking tonight - chicken stir fry, so I'll eat at 8 pm.

Would just be so fabulous to have a family that want to all eat at the same time and the same things. That would be the dream! We could all cook twice a week.

I'm thinking I should just get in a load of all plants meals for the freezer, so I can have one of those with steamed veg when I get in from work. If I've got more time/energy/mileage left in my feet then cook from scratch - and DS can either have some later or I have it the next day for lunch.

That trek across London with shopping does sound like a tough work-out @Nettleskeins .

I think that evidence is mounting that alcohol affects me more and more as I get older - sleep especially. Hoping this will put me off it 95% of the time now. I had two glasses of wine last night, slept fairly badly - day off today and ended up having a lengthy nap pm. What a waste of time!

I hear you on the timings. That is pretty tricky to solve. Maybe you can't solve it without eating a big meal shortly after when you get in, say 6.30.
We have adult Ds living with us and he usually eats what is left from our much earlier supper as he gets in late.
I like to eat at 7.30 at the latest but I'm not up at dawn working all day. I find I'm not hungry until at least 11am the next day so it does stick to the ribs whatever Im consuming...

Could alcohol be replaced with something else nice? DH hasnt drunk for six months due to medical treatment and he became obsessed with Cawston sparkling Rhubarb and Apple, it's not that sugary but no sweetness. Also the alcohol free beer

SweetENEERS

We eat spicy food. But there is a certain amount of Tabasco dolloped on quite plain stuff too.

I can't abide sweeteners!

What about batch cooking some lentil shepherds pie or curried chickpeas for freezer in portions that is filling, which is what you need really after a long day. DH just won't eat pulses except in lunchtime salad with tuna so I can't do that except for me. Ds would be appalled at the lentils or anything too green.
Jacket potatoes can also be reheated if they are stuffed in advance and put in fridge.