I want a different me! Do you?

[DoctorDolittle]

Accountability thread. I piled on a huge amount of weight at start of menopause, was ravenous all the time, and am really struggling to lose it. I thought an accountability thread that also focused on increasing self-care and self-worth would be good.

So - food wise I think I’ll try “no snacks”, that gives some wiggle room with meals to be what I most fancy/will fit in with kids the most.

Self-care: I bought a whole new skincare regime a month ago, just start using it woman!!! Am pampering my decades-long neglected feet each night and have booked in to salon for eyelash tint and curl as now suddenly need to wear glasses and want to feel better about eye area behind them.

Fluids!!!

Any company would be welcome 😊

Sounds as if we’re all having nice weekends! Great weight loss @Misshollys.

First thing this morning I made up a new storage garden bench, determined to not give in to the attack-midges that were dive-bombing. First bad day of the summer, I’m covered in bites. Soon as I’d finished the wind came up a wee bit and they buggered off! Been lovely weather since and I’ve done lots of pottering in the gardens. I reckon heaving pots around counts as exercise.

Thought I’d have a think about what I want to achieve next week…definitely drinking more, which should be much easier now. I feel I’m making sensible food choices at the minute, so carry on with that, maybe up protein with a kefir yoghurt as a pudding each day. I’d like to exercise a little more, but I’ve got to be careful as I’m very tired. Either walking or swimming.

Oh dear post disappeared; party was v elegant, in a garden centre, my dress looked sufficiently colourful after I added a silky floral kimono jacket with chrysanthemum pattern ! My sister wore an apricot dress with a coral stole. I think colours are good as we get older, even if it makes us look plumper 😀
I was questioned about pike numbers in The Midlands @Misshollys and bream fishing @DrDolittle about which I confess I know little....but mostly it was a v entertaining catchup with various old friends/acquaintances.

Yes, pot heaving is v definitely weightlifting aka exercise.

Sunday soon, I do love Sunday mornings when there is nothing to worry about because the event was yesterday😁

Food this evening: one glass of champagne, 6 tiny canapes, two slices of bread and two fried egg. Half a sliced green pepper, dessert spoonful of cream cheese. Not v balanced alas😚i also had a mini meringue with a raspberry canape size..wish I had seized more

That sounds such a lovely party @Nettleskeins, and you had great willpower food wise. Love that you were discussing fishing 😆.

Definitely having a hungry day today. Had quiche and tonnes of salad, and popcorn. Drinking hot Ribena, can’t remember last time I fancied that (years?) so maybe coming down with something. I know I could have plenty more to eat but I have a sinking feeling it I start picking I’m going to binge. Same thing happened a month ago now.

I'm feeling not quite so focused today either. Not helped by men here sitting eating crisps and chocolate whilst watching the football.
I don't actually want those things but I absent mindely started eating raw cashew nuts in a Sunday afternoon way. The (one glass of) champagne last night has left an uncomfortable "sugar low" feeling...I feel another glass right now would hit the spot

Breakfast was wholemeal flatbread with half slice of ham. Slice of rye bread. (long walk ahead)...feared passing the almond croissant shop so needed fuel
Lunch was quarter of a mushroom omelette, green salad with avocado, three spoons of hummus. 6 cashew nuts.
Supper ahead - prawn, sesame and green pepper stir-fry with noodles (me buckwheat)

Long walk with dog earlier.

Mentally resetting....whirring of dials

@Nettleskeins I dont know a lot about fishing but I have heard the lads talking about Westmeath & Mullingar for pike fishing. My boys fish a little but its only local rivers.
Chicken in the airfryer here & I'm prepping veggies, at least there will be dinner for tomorrow too. I've just made a start on my nephews 21st cake & the sun is beaming which is delightful but my fudge cake isnt loving it!
I had a lovely walk earlier today too, long may this weather continue.
@DoctorDolittle re exercise, I do love my walking, it's a little release, escape from reality but I'm able to walk in the countryside & its fairly quiet earlybin the morning. Swimming is great too but unfortunately I've a good drive to get to a pool or the sea. Puts me off.

@Nettleskeins Sunday afternoons are weirdly time-dragging aren’t they. I commend you managing to walk past almond croissants…I remember years ago low-carbing (Dukan) and every six weeks I’d cave in and it was always almond croissants I had.

I think I’m low in good fats, am daydreaming about salmon and stopped the car at a little shop on way home just to get good infused dressing-oil.

This morning I had two dessertspoons of olive oil three prunes and a slice of plain rye sourdough plus coffee for breakfast. My digestion is not coping with all this protein and so little sugar!

It's a beautiful day here, could be the meditrrrean in my patio city garden. However indoors is appearing more and more dusty and cluttered, tempting to just head off for a long long walk with dog rather than organise anything.

Still that isn't going to solve the problem long term. Had nice conversation with 22 year old daughter in which we decided the way to deal with de-motivation is to keep switching "project" so at uni she is going to do one project in the mornings and the other in the afternoons. A microcosm I suppose of most people's lives...one never gets a run at one thing one has to keep chopping and changing, maybe what our brains require sometimes.

Anyway dopamine sadly lacking here this morning/afternoon/evening!! Still need to get my car fixed and this is hanging over me. But first I need to walk the dog and unload dw!!!!!(Ever procrastinating)

Lunch was a piece of fruit, some leftover white fish minus batter, and some leftover broccoli/buttery. Drinking pint glasses of water as it's hot outside.
Dog walked in shade.

One step forward, one step back here still.

The good news is that on Saturday I felt 'better' - which I guess figures, three weeks to get over a chest infection. Had energy all day (massively helped by not being at work of course). Can't say that lasted throughout Sunday but I'll put that down to wine on Saturday night.

I made a couple more things from the Hugh eat better forever book - potato, beans and smoked mackerel & roast fennel and tomato tabbouleh. Both very nice, DS agreed too.

Making some attempt at the facial routine, WI every day.

Today work has wiped me out again so I feel like I am back to square one. A lot of time on my feet, so they hurt and that is always tiring. I've got to fight this though and stop taking the easy option that keeps me stuck - so instead of just watching rubbish TV I will get on with doing three things that will make me feel better - one of which is to do the foot wakers exercises. It is the evenings that I'm really going to have to work on.

I like the plan you are your daughter have hatched to keep motivation high and things fresh @Nettleskeins !

@Nettleskeins that motivation plan sounds like it could really help you both. My DD19 has severe adhd, max strength meds still leave her dopamine-searching so you have my empathy re de-motivation.
@Verlag at least one set up forward one back shows you’re constantly trying, full of hope and determination? Least, I’m trying to sell that to myself when I feel the same.

Half a roll with scrambled egg here today…counteracting the flipping calories of a binge last night. 4 or 5 bags of quavers, four ice lollies and four mini malt loaves. Frustrated I succumbed, though pleased I didn’t go completely daft.

Tomorrow is hairdressers, and swimming lessons after school, so 80 miles driving, then six hour shift at work. Yawn. I’ll up my protein, thinking scrambled eggs and wilted greens, and then garlic Philadelphia mushrooms and salad with maybe a protein yoghurt too.

@DrDolittle...quavers equals crunch, lollies are cold, and malted loaves are chewy...maybe you NEEDED crunch, refreshment and chewiness; you have long busy days. I think our bodies are still trying to tell us more than just calorie seeking or sugar high/low

Today I managed to scrape through to supper on just one bit of chicken liver pate at 6.30pm
I was desperate!! Supper was from M&S DH bought fresh tuna kebabs and jersey royals and green beans.

Honestly I think I only survived the afternoon by housework, dog walk and water/milky instant coffee. Not hot weather after all but I wanted a doughnut (DH bought some for family to celebrate end of a gruelling experience). Think that one bit of alcohol has seriously undone my sugar regulation.

@Verlag. I love those combinations. I think my best protection from wrong food is going to come from actually cooking interesting things. So sorry you are still feeling fragile from hard day and the chest infection.

Weight loss was stalled today at 88kg..been lower mid last week. Determined tomorrow will see some PROGRESS. Halted picking temptation this late eve with a cup of lemon and ginger tea.

Maybe ryvita or oatcakes could replace quavers, and emmental slice or raisins could replace maltloaves, and frozen forest fruits the ice lollies. Nothings a bad food if it's what you need.

Thanks @Nettleskeins yes, I thought I was needing crunch the couple of days prior as I’d been wolfing down salad. And thinking of alternatives a great idea, d’oh! I’ve had bowls full of frozen forest fruits with Greek yoghurt before and could easily have some - they are always in the freezer.

Your willpower is brilliant! And the supper sounded super tasty. I think alcohol can have an effect for a lot longer than we think, even just a little.

It isn't really willpower.
It is just acceptance of delay in gratification. I couldn't do it if I was perpetually hungry. It's easier if you know there will be supper at 7.30pm.

I went for an appointment today and had no breakfast - by the time I came home I felt so "hangry" I had to eat...at 12 midday, toast and cheese and a few veg. But I reckon I needed it to survive!

Heading back towards upper end of 87kg this morning, thank goodness.

Sometimes weight loss is like doing some sort of marathon where you keep going back to the half way point however hard you run.😑

It’s definitely not linear is it, what do you think to the idea that some previous weights your body almost “recognises”, if you were that weight for a while, and that is longer to get past than other weights? I’ve almost skipped down the last stone but the one before that I slogged over losing it for months. Mentally, I wasn’t in as good a place though so it was probably just self-sabotage.

That's interesting. I often think about the idea that one is really fighting ones own body and it's own desire for 'survival", to lose weight past a certain point. Dieting is unnatural on many levels.

But I think I will survive getting a bit thinner than this!!

How to make patterns of eating sustainable is I suppose the key.

They will probably find that menopause metabolism has some evolutionary benefit. Perhaps grannies who didn't have to bear children were incredibly important...maybe they had to have the energy stores to need less sometimes so the hunters fighters and childbearers could eat the available calories.

I think I need to add in having some healthy (well at least ish) but treat like snacks/puds. It is all very well not having in crisps, chocolate, sweets, cake, pudding etc but I'm finding at times I am eating a succession of things that aren't really hitting the spot, and then over-eating.

The 'eat better forever' book has seedy almond cake; oaty seedy apple crumble; rye and banana cookies; oaty nutty chocolate 'tiffin'; seedy nutty date and lime bites; fruity granitas (& lollies). Then there is always banana nice cream (might try that with a few choc chips and walnuts). This could go horribly wrong though - only one way to find out I guess.

Not quite so knackered after work today, and neither is foot. Hopefully, I can work with that and get a little more ticked off tonight on the changing habits front. Must at least do foot wakers like I did last night. I'll keep trying - thank you for the encouragement @DoctorDolittle !

Glad that weight is shifting for you @Nettleskeins !

@Nettleskeins we are such invisible women, nothing like the research/knowledge base about us as there is other sections of societies. I often wish I’d taken anthropology at uni.

@verlag I really think I need that book! Will treat myself to it for my birthday in the autumn I think. Enjoying healthy, but also “treat”, food is the long term goal.

Fancied a bowl of coconut and tumeric lentil daal for dinner, very tasty. Made plenty to portion up for freezer.

Oh, I forgot to say! I’d ordered size 12 Next wide leg dungarees, they fit perfectly and are SO comfortable. I wore them today, my Birkenstocks and also with a fuchsia bandeau top underneath that I’d ordered in a large, but it is too big and I need a medium. Felt a lot less meh than I do about my clothes usually, but was also super comfortable. 3 stone to go at leat but feel better clothes wise already.

That's wonderful about the dungarees...

Size 12...my goodness, I can only dream

Supper was: homemade beef burgers with spring onion and parsley
Roasted butternut squash, onion and red pepper and coriander seed
Salad leaves with radishes/cherry tomato

DH had some more jersey royals but luckily there were only 3 left.

I also had two slices of rye seeded sourdough bread in the afternoon one with small amount of butter and jam...was a VERY grey rainy afternoon.. @Verlag !

And some blueberries.