Has anyone given up on losing weight?

[Peae]

Just that really. I mean, I know for health reasons I should continue to try to improve my diet, but I’m genuinely starting to think I will never shift these stones.

I have copied and pasted this from a weight loss thread I was on in October as we are heading out for the day and I haven't got time to type it out again - it was the only thing that worked (and continues to work) for me.

Before I left the thread in July I spent about 2 months yo-yoing from 130lbs-127lbs and with my DD’s coming back from uni and holidays and meals out to welcome and wave off I could only see my weight going in one direction and come October I would be 137lbs again and having to start again so I took a hard look at what I was doing and decided to come up with one rule for the summer.
I could see my error was that I would have a calorific meal and think I would eat lighter and go for a walk/cycle/play tennis later to balance things out - and then not do it so I decided that I would not eat any more calories that I had burned by the time of the meal.
This was easy enough as I rarely bother with breakfast anyway so even if I hadn’t really moved I would have 600kcals by lunch and 900Kcals showing on my Fitbit by dinner ( I know Fitbit isn’t perfect but I wanted to have something in black and white that I couldn’t argue with). If I wanted to go eat more later then I had to make sure I burned more - if it was a restaurant meal I checked out the menu the day before and picked two possible things and planned for it.
I walked a lot and to be fair to DH and the DDs, when around, they walked to lots of restaurants too and sometimes the walk there was so pleasant we walked home too ( and sometimes we didn’t but because I was only eating what I had already burned that was fine)
The idea was to keep my weight stable and under 130lbs.
So here we are - both DDs back at Uni and today I weigh 122lbs which is about 8lbs less than I had hoped and 4.5lbs less that when I started my maintenance so I’m going to stick with it and go for my new name/target.
This thread is great and so as I always say - onwards and inwards!

So now, 6 months on, I am 116lbs ( or was on Thursday, we are on hols and I have no scales but am still sticking with the rule above) and hoping to hit goal by June. It's slow weight loss now as the last few lbs are sticky ones but it is going in the right direction.
I'm small and nearly 56 btw.

You're probably right about them lying about what they eat.

I decided to take a break, I focused more on my relationship with food rather than calorie intake because the more I forbid myself from something the more I wanted it.
I found it more healthier this way. I started treating myself like a child (I know how that sounds). I had to have set meals. Included more veg intake. Less crap (just like my kids). Wouldn't pick at their leftovers. Wouldn't drink what they weren't allowed. Smaller portions like them. Eventually it's become easier. I'm still not calorie counting or eating until I'm stuffed. I've tried different diets, felt too restrictive. I'd starve and then stuff myself. Then I'd guilt spiral and start again. I know a lot of it is my mental health and relationship with food. I know in the past I've ate when stressed. At my heaviest I was 22st. I'm now 18st1. This is working for me.

@effoffwind ...well said, I get a little weary of all the negative "diets don't work" and "you put it back on and more" comments, its not diets that don't work, it's the individuals who undertake them then don't put those good habits into practice, its their lack of will power and discipline that causes that long term gain not some dreadful flaw in the diet itself.

Thank you @Aribaariba

Don't get me wrong - I've made all the excuses under the sun
Too busy
Not enough money for healthy foods
Too tired
Not enough time

Until I had to admit to myself that yes a beautiful honey dew melon was £1.89
However I didn't hesitate at paying a bloody fiver for a tub of Ben and Jerrys
And yes I am busy but always got time to watch Emmerdale .. which I could record and use that half hr to prep lunch and next day dinner
Walk the dog or do a 10 minute YouTube workout
I've not given up on getting back to target before my big birthday this year

It's a local class so lucky as it's at the Community Centre across the road!

It's very Pilates based, she tends to do 6 week blocks, some are 45 mins of stretching, followed by a block of strength type stuff, planks etc!
The first strength one was really hard for me but by week 6 I had progressed so that was very rewarding!

A switch flicked in my head at the start of the year. I'd previously almost given up, thinking I was now always going to be overweight. Since then I've stopped drinking alcohol, kept a record of my food intake on an app which also keeps track of what calories I've burned, just like a pp upthread.
I've lost 13lb so far, and am not far off my goal.
If I can see I don't have enough calories banked for an evening meal, I do some exercise.
I'm feeling loads better, and plan on maintaining this lifestyle change.

I’ll probably get flamed for saying Slimming World but anyway here goes…..

when I was doing it absolutely properly I hit a point where I wasn’t losing barely anything, when the consultant looked at my food diary they said I actually wasn’t eating enough (I was very surprised). Anyhow, I upped my lunch intake to massive salads, added more speed food to my evening meal and swopped over onto I think it was called Super Speed or something like that and it worked. I was told the body will only give up the fat reserves when it feels it’s being fed. If it feel starved it hangs onto the fat as much as possible to protect itself (how true that is I don’t know but I do know eating lots more helped me lose weight).

but the truth with all diets is we hit our target, take our eye off the ball and pile it all on again, it’s us that puts the weight on, only we can be in charge of what we eat. With no kids to run around after, WFH and generally enjoying non sporty hobbies what I really should be doing is reducing my intake of food to balance my output/required energy needs. And once I get back to a reasonable weight that’s what I plan to do.

I haven't given in, but I have been 2.5 overweight three years now. I'm always on a diet, or thinking about a diet. I lost a stone last year - put it back on. I lost half a stone earlier this year - put it back on. I feel like I am trying to run up a hill and nearly getting to the top then falling all the way down to the bottom and starting again, over and over and over x 100 times.

It would be simpler to kind of give into it and accept this 2.5 stone overweight is actually my new permanent normal. But I don't want to give in yet, but getting rid of it is so very hard. I'll do great for five or six weeks then have a slip or there'll be an occasion I just can't skimp on socially, and I remember how good everything tastes that also puts the weight on, and within weeks I'm back to my old habits.

Also, I was properly slim for around 7 years before this extra 2.5 stone. How did I do it? By only eating the bare minimum and making what I did eat very healthy. So I wasn't unhealthy or starving myself but in reality it means things like: No spontaneous ice-creams in the park, ever. No fast food, or pizza, or takeways, ever. No biscuits with tea, no cake in coffee shops, no chocolate ever, no roast potatoes or Yorkshire puddings or cauliflower cheese if having a roast, no glass of wine of an evening. No cheeky packet of crisps, no picking at leftovers, no treats tossed in the trolley when shopping. All day, every day it's a no for all these things that a lot of people enjoy and feel makes the day go round. That is how (most I'm guessing unless a very high natural metabolism) slim people live. They might occasionally have an ice cream but it would not a typical thing to do even if they make it look natural and everyday. It definitely is not IMHO.

I had masses of willpower back then but it was very hard, but I trained myself to just not eat that stuff and say no all the time. Basically I wanted to be slim more than I wanted to eat the bad/tasty/processed stuff, whereas now my (perimenopausal) willpower is no match for the urge to indulge. I don't like my clothes or body shape much at all though these days.

@Sandalwoodrose I’d turn that info around and rephrase it…maybe? 🙂

”I’ve decided to add in a few new habits into my life… such as not eating between meals”.

That doesn’t mean you can’t EVER have a biscuit with your tea, it’s that you NORMALLY don’t, and when you do, it’ll taste delicious!

This weight loss shenanigans is so different for us all. Mixtures of hormones, lack of sleep, depression, low self esteem. MH…. I could go on. As we know, what works for one, doesn’t always work for another.

This is information that absolutely everyone already knows, and yet intelligent people still struggle with weight loss. This would suggest there is something more complex going on, don't you think

"Everyone knows" yet practically every other thread on the topic of weight loss has some prat harping on about intermittent fasting or some other such shite.

I hear you @Peae. I also feel like I’ve yo-yo dieted my entire life until here I am, about to turn 52 and the heaviest I’ve ever been, at least three stone overweight. For the past few years I’ve been in the mindset that diets don’t work, I should just accept my size - body positivity and all that - but it’s made me more miserable (and fatter). Recently I took stock though and decided I had to do something or I was going to end up with health issues in old age. It’s no longer about looking good. The only thing that’s worked for me in the past is calories in, calories, so I’m now doing a variation of that using the new WW programme. I know I’m risking regaining but that’s true of any regime, including injections. I am adamant, however, this will be the last diet I do! Fortunately the new WW doesn’t require me to log every single thing I eat so I’m finding it easy so far and the weight is budging. So, my advice OP is give yourself a break from the merry-go-round and maybe tackle it again from a health perspective rather than an aesthetic one.

Oh, and I’ve pretty much knocked booze on the head. Not to lose weight but because I was getting stomach issues and inflammation. No hangovers means no mindless snacking and it’s making a huge difference.

The thing is@Ohyeahwaitaminute that if you occasionally have a biscuit with your tea when you are usually very strict with yourself, there's the risk you'll unravel it all. One biscuit will taste so good that you'll eat two or three, then you get hit with the high taste reward, and it's hard to stop.

Most people who don't have a naturally high metabolism and who do have to work hard at being slim, are always battling with temptation to eat what they really fancy. It's all or nothing - doing moderation is even harder! At most I'd allow myself to eat processed or high calorie stuff very occasionally in front of others to blend in socially. So for example at a birthday party I'd have a piece of cake just to fit in. But I'd never in a million years have had a piece of cake by myself, back then (but now is different )

@Sandalwoodrose I feel like there is a fine line between a healthy attitude towards food and a disordered one. Food is not good or bad, technically you could lose weight on 1200 cals or Mars bars a day - but you shouldn’t do this as it’s not good for you to eat such a restricted diet with no variety or vitamins/minerals. Balance means balance - the perceived high value items like biscuits as part of a balanced diet. That’s the ultimate goal. If you are talking about binge eating and biscuits being a trigger then that is something a bit different. From talking to people through my life and observing who are naturally slim, they do seem to have less urge to eat particular foods but it’s far less of a conscious effort/choice. They just think about them less and are less hungry than me, but they still eat them. They are also pretty active naturally. I think there is something in the suggestion that people can be more predisposed/susceptible to be more affected by sugar hits than other people and that is something genetic you can’t control very easily.

My daughters are slim they still eat cakes and biscuits, they are young so have good metabolisms and are busy so moving a lot.

I am a binge eater so for me this theory of having 1 thing and unravelling it all is relevant, but it’s not the same for everyone. I have had a lot of trauma in my life and for a long time I used food as a coping tool and got addicted to it. I also got addicted to smoking so I am aware I am particularly susceptible to these kind of addictions/dopamine chasing, so I do try to avoid cakes/sweets because I do not feel I am yet able to manage balance very easily but my overall goal is to one day be able to live a life of balance and moderation

Me. Should start off by saying that I had disordered eating in my teens which I've never totally shaken off. I've never been technically overweight, at 5ft5 the lowest I've ever been is 7st11 (breakup, borderline eating disorder, height of breastfeeding, separate occasions). The heaviest I've been is 9st11 at the end of 2019. I lost weight then went on HRT which made it easier to keep off, hovered at a smidge over 9st, more than I wanted to be but relatively easy to maintain, with a bit of horrid stress life events thrown in. Had to come off HRT cause was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of September. I'm now on the delightful Tamoxifen and after an Easter binge pretty sure I'm about 9st7. I have tried to diet the last few weeks, but I find I can only ever be good for so long, even if I'm gentle about it. Know my relationship with food and dieting isn't healthy, its very entrenched, but then I went on my first ever diet about 35 years ago. I hate how dieting makes me obsessed with food and scared of being hungry, slightly weak, deprived and negative and panicked that I am going to fail at any time, which I always do. I therefore decided after Easter, no more diets, again I'vee said this before. Even remember reading Dietbreaking by Mary Evans Young in th3e 1990s, that's how long I've been like this for. I'm just trying to think about food less at the moment and keep up my activity levels, not easy but then neither is dieting. The irony is that in other areas of my life, I have reasonable willpower, although I am guilty of wanting instant gratification.

Exactly the same here!

Haven't caught up with the thread fully but wanted to thank you, @Bookworm1111 for your post and validation.

You're welcome! x

Again, @PlipPlopChoo - more evidence that there is something more complex going on. We know the basic information you provide and yet still seek out new methods.

I was once told weight loss means keeping it off for 4 years +. I acheieved this once

In the longer term every kg I've ever lost I've put on double. Wish I'd never lost any!

@Octopus45 I hear you!

@Wallywobbles this, "In the longer term every kg I've ever lost I've put on double. Wish I'd never lost any!" gave me pause for thought.

Well, a week after last posting on this thread, I started Gin Steven’s 28 Day Fast Start and have just lost 4lb in 4 weeks. That’s despite a week of illness, over-work and lack of exercise.

I am not focusing on weightloss, and only weighed myself at the end of the four weeks, but it does feel good to have moved away from my heaviest weight ever. I am focused on reducing inflammation and mitigating against all the horrible disease we can succumb to.

I have discovered fiftysister on YouTube and can’t wait to get back to exercising.

I last posted at the end of March when I was getting pissed off at not having lost any weight after seriously upping my exercise.

i have plugged away - 5 or 6 gym classes a week (they’re tough), seriously cut down on my snacking (hardest at work) and no booze Sunday - Thursday. They seem to be sustainable changes.

i stayed off the scales for a month and was thrilled to find at the start of may that I’d lost 3kgs. I won’t weigh again for another month (so the beginning of June) and hope that I’ll have lost a bit more.

i’m still one of the slowest in the classes but I’m getting better.

i was 83kgs. Now 80. At my best just pre-covid I was 70kgs. Not sure if I’ll get back to that, but if I can get comfortably into the healthy BMI range I’ll be happy.

Currently a stone overweight and very perimenopausal and can't lose a thing but I have maintenance cracked. I think if my health was affected I would need to keep going but am seriously thinking I may have to just give in and stay as I am or I am going to have the most boring old age. I'm a 14-16 depending where I shop and I know by some people's standards that makes me a whale but I don't look that bad!