Fed up of being fat

[guessmyage11]

As in the title really. Sat here after gorging a takeaway. I've always had such an unhealthy relationship with food. I'm a big comfort eater and greedy with it too. I see food as a 'treat' in nearly 35 and have been overweight my whole adult life, I'm the biggest ive ever been now at 20 stone. I don't know how I can help myself

Three words of advice

Weight. Loss. Surgery.

(awaits abusive responses)

As in a gastric band?

I don't think they do bands anymore. The sleeve is the preferred method now I believe. But do some research. Plenty of information out there. Good luck. Diets don't work, if they did, no-one would be fat lol. Because it isn't about what you eat, it's about whats going on in your head.

Diets may not work, but a lifestyle change absolutely does.

That’s what you need, therapy to work on the mental blocks and a change to your lifestyle overall, eating less, eating better foods, moving your body more. It really is that simply, but it’s a conscious choice that you have to make anyway.

Being overweight is hard, so is keeping fit and healthy, you just have to choose your hard.

All of the above is true. But you could also do all this and have WLS. Double your chances.

I’ve found intermittent fasting works. It sort of gives me rules. I do 18/6. So I eat between noon and six. Of course it doesn’t work if you sit and gorge for 6 hours, but I find myself busy, and I feel fuller longer, it takes a couple of weeks to adjust, to not feel bloody starving im the morning, bug after six, that’s it, I’m simply not eating, (we have dinner early) and before noon it’s coffee or water.

I don’t weigh myself, I go on my clothes, and I can see my stomach is flatter and I’m clearly loosing weight. I’d give it a shot. Especially if you work like I do so can’t really stuff yourself then,

Goodness you really like the idea of weight loss surgery. Habe you had it , is that the reason?

You can loose weight without weight loss surgery. I have changed what I eat, started to exercise and gone from size 22 to 12/14 in 10 months.

I have sod all willpower with food so I've bought a cross trainer, i go on it at least 5 days a week. At the start i could just about manage 10 minutes, had it a month and now i can do 25 minutes.
The numbers on the scale aren't plummeting but they are slowly going down and i feel less fat.

So here's the good news. You are fed up so you have the motivation to do something about it. That's step one. There are lots of ways to lose weight and everyone will bombard you with advice but the truth is that the best way is the one that works for you. You've already recognised you use food for comfort and as a treat (I do too) so a change in mindset could help. You probably want some support but whether that's by therapy or joining weight watchers or buying a book or going to the gym or buddying up with a friend really depends on your own preferences. I think that by e.g setting aside your take way budget for things that will help towards raising your self esteem and/or working on your goal is a good start. Maybe a haircut or new leggings or a class at the gym or a new recipe book. The hardest bit is getting started. Good luck.

Thank you all. I really need to focus. I have 2 young children and I work so I feel my time for exercise is limited. I like the idea of a treadmill at home or something. I'm too embarrassed to join a gym and all the fit people watching me xx

Gyms are not all full of fit people, please don't worry about that. In a lot of gyms there are people of all sizes and ages. If you are really concerned, you could start with aqua fit classes. The benefit is that no one can see you under the water. Or you go with a class in a venue like a church hall, where there are no mirrors, and you can stay at the back until you feel more confident.

People in gyms don't watch other people. You are honestly not important to them.

Just be aware that whilst exercise is always good and helps with motivation too the most effective way to lose weight is cutting calories.

When my dm was a young mum and overweight she did weight watchers.
I remember her weighing all her food and religiously recording calories in a notebook.
It worked.
Shes in her 80’s now and still weighs herself weekly.
I’m not sure if this is still an approved method though.

Losing weight isn’t easy but the alternative is health problems and low self esteem.

You can do this.

You say this like it's easily affordable and an easy option. Many people wouldn't be able to afford it, and it's extremely hard and shouldn't be taken lightly

Thank you all. You've all bought a tear to my eye with your supportive comments. I was expecting people to be calling me a fat lazy pig. X

I thing that lost comment really proves you have a real psychological issue with food. Maybe look at Noom which helps you explore why you overeat.

Hi op, I started in the same boat as you. I was actually bigger than you at 20st 8lbs last autumn. I have lost 3 stones since then, and the good news is you don't have to do anything drastic at this stage to lose weight.

I have found the best approach is to make small, subtle changes and add to them over time. Making weekly meal plans and sticking to them is what got me going at the start (and I still do it now), and just cutting back a little bit on snacks. I lost the first 2 stone just by doing this.

Gradually, I started to cut back on the fizzy juice and have squash instead (I don't like plain water and would not drink it otherwise) and started to take fruit into work to snack on instead of crisps. Around this time, I also started to use Slimpod. A lot of people say it doesn't work for them, but for me, it seems to be having a positive effect.

When I got to grips with the basics and lost 2 stone, I then started to think about joining an exercise group, getting more steps in, and here I am today 3 stones down and getting to grips with the exercise before I move into focusing on maybe doing 2 exercise classes a week instead of 1. (Though weight loss is more to do with food than exercise, so I wouldn't worry about that just yet)

The best tool you can use for losing weight is patience 🙂 unfortunately, healthy, sustainable weight loss is a long journey that we need to strap ourselves in for. If we make too many changes at once, we can become too overwhelmed and give up, leading us back to square one.

So my advice is to start small, get your head around healthy meals, and cutting back on snacks first, and then move on to exercise when you have found your feet. It's all about learning to build healthy habits over time so that we get used to them and they become part of our routine without us even thinking about it. These habits need to last us our whole lives.

If I can do it then so can you 😊 good luck, op.

Oh goodness, no! You sound very similar to me in the sense that you maybe use food as an emotional coping mechanism? We need to be kind and have patience with ourselves, lovely 🙂 and please remember you are a person worthy of love and respect (including from yourself) no mater what the number on the scales say.

Having struggled with overeating and restrictive dieting I found 3 things worked.

1. Knowing whether you are an “abstainer” or a “moderator”. I’m an abstainer and it is simply way easier for me when I have strict rules and a zone, such as fasting, like a PP mentioned. however if you are a “moderate”, then being good all week and having a “cheat” meal or the occasional treat will work. Not many people are abstainers, but realising this helped me understand why having “just a little” totally broke me, despite this being often advocated. Look up Gretchen Rubin & see what you are.

1. I always kick start a health regime with exercise first. I keep eating as I am at the time, being compassionate with myself, just increasing exercise to 3-4 times a week. I find that “tips me over” into naturally eating better.

1. Recommended on here, an AMAZING book, Brain over Binge. Whole new approach to disordered eating/overeating.

Good luck, you can do it!

This is your first step to changing by acknowledging and feeling this way, as hard as it is to feel it. Use this feeling to make changes it will empower you.

Im not going to tell you what changes to make that’s up to you and please don’t feel pressured to do something drastic or life changing without research and a full understanding. You do probably need some therapy to help you through this transition no matter what option you choose.

I am a binge eater and fasting can be an excuse to have your binge and you struggle to get out of the binge and restrict patterns. Calorie counting is effort and not everyone wants to do it or finds it restrictive but it can give you a better overview of food intake and values. Surgery is drastic and involves a lifetime of enforced changes, also with some risks.

When you like yourself a lot more you are less likely to do these behaviours as you value yourself.

the gym isn’t full of fit people I agree. And no one is looking at you.

Over a year, it probably works out cheaper than eating. It's just that obviously you have to pay for it all upfront. And it is hard, yes. and there are risks. But there are also risks to being overweight.

This is why i like having my cross trainer, i hate the gym too and i can fit it in whenever works for me. When i WFH i try and book out 20-30 minutes in my diary or i try and use it between breakfast club drop off and getting logged on to work

I too follow this regime. I started it during menopause due to weight gain beyond my control. Honestly I wasn’t eating any more but the weight came out of nowhere, so upsetting.

Like you said it does take a couple of weeks to adjust, but once you’ve cracked it it’s a doddle. I don’t weigh myself, my skinny jeans tell me if I’ve lost weight, they’re a little baggy now around my midriff, they’re a lot more comfortable. You do have to eat sensibly like OP points out. I always have porridge for breakfast around 11.30, I fill it with goodies such as goji berries, pumpkin seeds, crystallised ginger, Brazil nuts or any nuts. I top it off with a spoonful of yogurt and a teaspoon of peanut butter, it fills you up for hours.

i also have a teaspoon of Turmeric in a little hot water with coconut milk and a little honey before I have anything in the morning. I swear this is the reason I haven’t had any colds or coughs this winter, it also helps with digestion as since menopause my stomach wasn’t good at all, it’s now a lot happier.

@guessmyage11

I was 23 stone four years ago. I am now 12.7 and still going down.

For years I just gorged on food because I was, quite frankly, greedy and lazy. I also have a lot of stress in my life which I ate through.

I changed my whole life and approach to food. I’ve never been on a “diet”. I honestly just changed everything.

I have a thread on this board that I posted about last year (“I am 9 ish stone down today”).

Everyone told me I would need WLS. Especially as I was 40.

If I can change my life anyone can. Our local Kebab shop was sold to new owners once. they knocked on my bloody door to introduce themselves with my takeaway one night as I was their best customer and they wanted to know what I liked so much about the old owners that I ordered 3+ times a week. I didn’t. it could have been any food but they were the ones who delivered the biggest portions of kebab meat, chips and pizza the fastest. Size 24 me opening the door probably tipped them off on that one.

It’s not easy. But it’s doable without surgery or injections.

I don’t really exercise. I do intermittent fasting, mainly OMAD. only eat unprocessed foods, no sugar. It’s just second nature now, I never think about it.