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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

I’m obsessed with food and need help…..

69 replies

CutiePatooties · 10/03/2024 15:21

It’s all I think about! I wake up and need a breakfast, then I’m trying to stop myself eating until I cave in and snack around 10am, then I have lunch and dinner by 4pm then I’m hungry in the evening and go for snack upon snack etc etc.

I’m obese and 38.5 BMI. I have two girls and have to set a good example but I just can’t stop wanting food. If we go somewhere I’m thinking ‘what can I eat here?’ It’s out of control!

I’ve asked to see the GP but they keep pushing back my telephone consultation as it’s not deemed urgent. What can I do to help myself? (Outside of diet and exercise, as I try for a bit and it doesn’t last).

are there any groups or classes I can join? Any apps to help the mentality behind my eating? Anyone been through this and have advice please?

I know diet and exercise are the things that I need to change but before I can do that, I need to change my mindset. I don’t know how to do this.

OP posts:
teacrumpetsandcake · 13/03/2024 17:27

Also, you could try to work on that negative self talk. Calling yourself a fat blob is not going to get you anywhere or put you in the mood to love yourself and do something good for your body.

It might be an idea to have some counselling if you haven't already?

QuillBill · 13/03/2024 17:31

I remember years ago seeing an experiment on a tv, it might have been on Child of Our Time, where they had two birthday parties for children.

They had the same amount of food at each party but at one party there was only two types of cake, two kinds of biscuits, two flavour of drink etc and at the other party there were lots and lots of choices (but the same actual amount) and the children at the party with all of the different biscuits ate three times as much.

AmaryllisChorus · 13/03/2024 17:41

For over-eating, I recommend adding to your life, not taking away. We often eat too much because we lack other things in life. It's compensation. So don't restrict your diet. Add one thing for a few days then add another and keep the first going.

  • First add water - eat what you like but also drink 2L a day.
  • Then add 8 a day: 5 veg, 3 fruit. Eat what you like so long as you have at least 1-2 portions of fruit or veg at breakfast, 2-3 at lunch and dinner, each.
  • Then add journalling
  • Then add non-food treats and rewards
  • Then add very easy exercise. Try Jessamyne Stanley free online - she's an obese yoga teacher.
The only restriction I find helpful is to ease off refined sugar and flour. They trigger absolutely uncontrollable cravings in some of us. If you find this is true for you, don't buy them, don't keep them in the house, then you may be less likely to binge.

For journalling: Get a nice notebook or set up a private blog or a file on your laptop. Tell yourself for the next week, you are allowed to eat what you want, guilt free, and that you will also journal.

In the journal, really focus on your feelings. How you feel right now. How you feel while eating something, how you feel afterwards. Most important of all - how would you like to feel (emotionally, not physically). Find out what that lack is, that food momentarily fills. Are you bored? Lonely? Sad? Shattered? All of these? Take each issue and write about as many ways as you can think to solve these issues properly, instead of blocking them through food. It is massively helpful to think of very easy ways - ways that are as easy as comfort eating. Things you have instant access to, or are free.

Overeating often gives a quick high - an immediate but very short lived pleasure. If you need more pleasure in your life, ask yourself in your journal, what it could come from? Make lists of very easy small ways to give you pleasure or energy boosts or to soothe you when stressed, which aren't food related. E.g. Play a song you find uplifting at top volume. Watch some funny clips from your favourite comedy shows. Or bloopers. Or cute kittens. Do a 5 minute meditation - free on you tube. Sit somewhere you can enjoy nature. Even in bad weather you can watch the rain, the sky, the trees.

In your journal keep track of three things each day that are self-comforting, self-soothing, self-rewarding that you have done e.g. bubble bath, star gazing/watching sunrise or sunset/early night with a real page-turning book.
Once you are in the habit of doing these things consciously, do them before you overeat. You can still have more food. But meditate first, journal first, walk first, drink water first, have a bath first.

Gradually, through journalling grow your awareness of what is lacking in your life that food fills, or what being so big is protecting you from and explore more healthy, self-loving ways to get what you really want instead of that quick fix.

AmaryllisChorus · 13/03/2024 17:44

I did think about not buying any of the biscuits or ice creams then DH said it would be unfair on him and DD

They should be occasional treats anyway, so if he wants them, he can buy them and eat them at work and DD can have them on days out.

CutiePatooties · 13/03/2024 18:19

@AmaryllisChorus thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that. I’ll make a start on it tomorrow.

I actually haven’t eaten anything else today and won’t now as it’s late, so I just managed to stay within my calories. Feeling very deflated though (that’ll be the sugar come-down). Definitely not a great feeling.

I know I’m eating for enjoyment and food is the only thing that I get joy from, other than my children. So everything you mentioned and especially journaling, should really help me.

OP posts:
RunningAndSinging · 14/03/2024 12:28

I recommend a book called why we eat(too much) by Andrew Jenkinson. It really explains what foods will help regulate our appetite and what foods do not and why some of us find this so difficult.

To those saying that medications are a waste of money because you gain back when you stop taking them - the same can be said of any diet or way of eating. Consistency is key. Sugar is addictive. Good luck.

Hannahthepink · 14/03/2024 12:53

I really understand how it feels. I am 4 stone heavier than I was before I had my first child. Being a mum and being bored around the house has absolutely done a number on me. I've always overeaten if I had the chance, but before having kids, I didn't have so many opportunities. I worked where I had set breaks, a packed lunch, there just wasn't anything else around.
I know people hate the drugs, but I started Mounjaro recently, and I would genuinely say that it feels miraculous. It's all very well saying you can fast, or calorie count or do keto or whatever, but without quieting the food voices, it's unbearably hard. I feel on Mounjano the way that I can only assume other people feel on a normal day. Without it, I think about food constantly, looking around for something nice to eat. Dieting has felt impossible for a long time. I know people will say that it doesn't solve the problem, but my problem is a constant and loud food voice, and it solves that.

JuniperJanet · 14/03/2024 13:31

RunningAndSinging · 14/03/2024 12:28

I recommend a book called why we eat(too much) by Andrew Jenkinson. It really explains what foods will help regulate our appetite and what foods do not and why some of us find this so difficult.

To those saying that medications are a waste of money because you gain back when you stop taking them - the same can be said of any diet or way of eating. Consistency is key. Sugar is addictive. Good luck.

Edited

Thast why something quick fix or faddy is no good for the OP, she needs to learn to eat properly, for life.

Jelliclecats · 14/03/2024 13:35

How are you doing today @CutiePatooties ? It definitely sounds like boredom and sugar addiction are the worst enemies for you at the minute. If you can eat plenty but of healthy things that will help - so all the snacking is on veg etc. Airfryer roasted chickpeas are good for a savoury snack, for sweet how about frozen grapes and homemade frozen smoothie ice lollies? Protein chocolate yoghurts were a huge help for me at one point.

Eyesopenwideawake · 14/03/2024 13:41

I need to change my mindset.

Yup. When you (we) were little you associated food with comfort, especially sugary food. Crying? Have a biscuit. Upset? Here's a cake. Bored? Have a chocolate bar. There's a part of your subconscious mind that's still linking food - specifically sweet food - with feeling good. The problem is that you get short term gratification which then impacts on your long term happiness. I've worked with several clients to help them switch off that part of the mind with good results.

CutiePatooties · 14/03/2024 19:16

Today, I’m not sure it was any better actually and I’ve been at work!

poached eggs on seeded bread for breakfast

chicken and rice for lunch and an apple.

3 chocolate fingers, 2 boiled sweets and a pink wafer biscuit

babybel

chicken and rice for dinner.

I just can’t kick the sweet stuff. I hunted it down at work, in actual fact! I have a huge problem.

edit: changed wager to wafer (silly predictive text!)

OP posts:
JuniperJanet · 15/03/2024 06:55

Well only you decide what to put in your mouth so only you can make the changes you need.

When you start off, before it is a habit, its a choice you have to make.

MHMIL · 15/03/2024 07:01

Sounds like classic insulin resistance to me.

It's a vicious cycle of hormones making you hungry but then the eating spiking your blood sugar and making the hunger worse next time.

It's a hormonal issue and not you having poor willpower/boredom etc.

Have a read up on insulin resistance and hopefully will help you feel less of a failure. Certainly did for me. Xx

curious79 · 10/06/2024 18:34

TheSuggestedAmendment · 11/03/2024 19:00

Get your car back. That’s important. Self-respect.

You need wegovy. And to drink 2lts of water a day.

Stop pushing a pharmaceutical drug. It has serious side-effects in many people and ultimately doesn’t solve anything because you have to stay on it for life. The minute you come off it apparently the weight piles back on.

DDisnotnormal · 10/06/2024 20:35

I'm sorry you are feeling so miserable OP. I was exactly the same a few months ago. I was diagnosed with inattentive adhd last year and that is definitely the root cause of most of my issues - I was chasing dopamine all the time.

I know a lot of people are against them but if you are in a position to try weightloss injections it might be worth looking into them. I started mounjaro in April, it's really helped. There have been times that I have struggled without my usual dopamine rush but I'm working on it. The food noise is so much quieter which is helping me make better food choices x

LondonLass61 · 10/06/2024 20:41

This sounds like it could be Binge Eating Disorder. Look it up - before you see your GP, have a look at the Binge Eating Therapist on YouTube or there's a podcast Brain Over Binge. Lots of resources out there but basically we can binge for many reasons.
Good luck x

tobee · 11/06/2024 17:36

What serious side effects @curious79 ? Most people don't get serious side effects. Stop scare mongering.

tobee · 11/06/2024 17:37

Plus what's wrong with staying on it for life? I'm on blood pressure medication and thyroid replacement medication for life like billions of other people. It is not a problem.

Applesonthelawn · 24/07/2024 07:19

You sound like me although I’m also ASD and that may contribute in my case both to the problem and the solution. In any case I think food addiction/obsession is very real. The way I deal with it is to be fairly draconian with myself. I absolutely do not eat anything with sugar and no UPF. I have quite a lot of protein but generally avoid visible fat on meat etc. enough healthy oils. Veg 8 to 10 types per day and 30 types over the month. I count all this. Some fruit but not lots. Exercise every single day. No shop bought bread only home baked. Fermented milk every day. Your gut health will dramatically improve, the noise will lessen, some days be gone completely, you’ll feel better. My bmi reduced over six months from 28 to 21 and has stayed there since (3 years) and everything feels so much easier. I do think it’s mostly about gut biome. Start small maybe just by adding some fermented foods and cut the upf?

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