I’m obsessed with food and need help…..

[CutiePatooties]

It’s all I think about! I wake up and need a breakfast, then I’m trying to stop myself eating until I cave in and snack around 10am, then I have lunch and dinner by 4pm then I’m hungry in the evening and go for snack upon snack etc etc.

I’m obese and 38.5 BMI. I have two girls and have to set a good example but I just can’t stop wanting food. If we go somewhere I’m thinking ‘what can I eat here?’ It’s out of control!

I’ve asked to see the GP but they keep pushing back my telephone consultation as it’s not deemed urgent. What can I do to help myself? (Outside of diet and exercise, as I try for a bit and it doesn’t last).

are there any groups or classes I can join? Any apps to help the mentality behind my eating? Anyone been through this and have advice please?

I know diet and exercise are the things that I need to change but before I can do that, I need to change my mindset. I don’t know how to do this.

Honestly, put your dcs in nursery and go back to work full time.

This is your health we are talking about. Better than taking weight loss drugs, and childcare fees are for a limited period.

You are having a tough time of it @CutiePatooties

This was me a few years ago, although my BMI was way above 40

Absolutely agree with the posters saying it's about self esteem, raising your self esteem rather than going for sugar as a quick fix. As you have found out, the quick fix makes you feel so much worse in the longer term.

The funny thing is that the way to raise your self esteem is to start treating yourself well, eating well and exercising in a way that you enjoy. In our current current culture, that feels counterintuitive, we think that when we have self esteem we will start treating ourselves better. It's actually the other way round

Have a look at Gillian Riley's TED talk https://eatingless.com

Cutting out empty calories of sugar and starchy foods helped me a lot too. I went cold turkey on those. After a couple of days of my brain screaming 'give me sugar' it all settled down and I can eat for nutrition and how I feel afterwards rather than being on that blood sugar roller coaster: eat sugar for a slight buss then comes the inevitable crash so more sugar as a pick me up.

Low carb high fat food as in Mumsnet's own low carb boot camps works really well for me now. Come and have a look at the low carb bootcamp threads , you are very welcome.

Avoid sugar .It is very very difficult the first week as it is like going cold turkey from an addictive drug .
Eat nuts ,flavoured with anything savoury but no honey roasted or coated .
Eggs and tuna ,cheese prawns ,chicken .mayonnaise,butter andl lean steak .Salad and veg .olives
Eat as much as you like ,don't count calories just eat until you are full ..this is just a transition /reset phase .
No sugary drinks ,diet if it gets you through ,drink water ,tea and coffee ,almond milk if possible .
No alcohol for as long as you can manage .
I promise after a week to ten days ,the noise in your head about food will subside and you will self regulate ,when your blood sugar is not spiking up and down wildly .
I have lost just under 4 stone and my DH 5 stone .(and he reversed type 2diabetes )

Have you tried Slimming World? A certain amount of discipline helps to motivate you. I did it several years ago and lost 4st. Most of it stayed off! Give it a go! I think the food training helps long term. I couldn't eat even one creme egg now. And one chocolate out of the box is quite enough.

Oh and this thing about exercise ...it's 80 % what you eat 20% exercise
If you get the food right ,you will have more energy .
We have never been inside a gym .

The diet industry is designed to keep us fat ,sell subscriptions and "slimming " products ,gym memberships ,magic solutions ,none of it works .

What we did is cheap and simple .

I wish I had known all this 20 years ago.

I’ve found everyone’s advice so helpful and I’ve gone the whole day with no sugary snacks. It’s been difficult!! I’m craving an ice cream now but I know if I eat one I’ll binge on many things so trying to distract myself. I’ve been snacking on fruit and vegetables all day, so not sure I’ve reduced many calories as I’ve eaten loads today!

I had a low carb breakfast muffin, chicken and rice at lunch time and a three bean burrito for dinner. I’ve snacked on carrots, peas, a tin of potatoes, 2 apples and a banana. A lot better for me, although it’s still way too much food. Also went for a walk for half an hour and I’ve drank a litre of water (not enough I know, but I never drink it, so it’s new for me).

I’m so grateful to everyone on here, you’ve really helped me, so thank you! I’m hoping today is the first day of changing my life for good as I can’t continue how I have been.

That sounds amazing 🤩
How are you getting on today?

I’ve eaten 4 biscuit bars - timeout, break away, gold bar and a penguin bar. Then I’ve had mr Kipling slices and a crème egg ice cream cone. Worked out my calories and if I don’t eat anything else today and go for a walk then I’ll be okay. But it’s only 3pm so what’s the chances of me not eating anything else?

I feel like I can’t not have these things in the house as we put a biscuit bar in with our DDs packed lunch and DH eats them too. Can’t stop them from eating treats because I have a major problem with food.

Oh dear. You're going to make yourself potentially very unwell if you carry on. You have to do this for your lovely family. Just don't buy them or keep them in the house. What's more important? Giving rubbish treats to your kids or saving yourself from potentially crippling health consequences?

I agree. Thats a lot of junk to have in the house at once too.

Its not ideal for your kid to eat rubbish every day. Do you also give crisps with the sandwich? Our packed lunches in the 80s were white bread sandwich, crisps, chocolate biscuit/cake and a sugary drink. Not ideal at all.

Could you change everyone's view on what a 'treat' is? And they aren't treats if eaten every day, treats are occasional, like a pudding after Sunday dinner or a fakeway on a friday OR Saturday.

I just wouldn't have that stuff in my house, and I don't, because I would eat it all in one weekend, so I can't buy it, its as simple as that.

With the amount that all that must cost, you could afford to buy nice fruit/berries for every day and individual packs of treats (not cost effective) for ONE DAY of the weekend, but I think you need to go fully cold turkey and get into ketosis op.

@JuniperJanet

She’ll have sandwiches (seeded bread), banana, grapes, yoghurt, a babybel or cheese string, and a biscuit. No sugary drink or crisps at all. She wouldn’t touch crisps and only drinks water unless she’s at a party or something. Don’t know where you got that from… I’m the unhealthy one. DD has never had issues with weight or teeth etc nothing to suggest she eats bad and she’s 7. If she was like me, something would have cropped up about her weight or teeth over the past 7 years.

I did think about not buying any of the biscuits or ice creams then DH said it would be unfair on him and DD but where I’m home all the time I end up eating too many of them. I also don’t want my problem with food to become a DD problem. My mum for instance, never had treats in the house growing up. She’s now more overweight than I am and eats so much as she was deprived as a child. DD is a healthy weight and not consumed by food - I have to remind her to eat. I think if I take all treats away from her, she’d focus more on that, then we’d have a problem.

I’ll limit the treats that we have, just down to the occasional pudding for her and biscuit for her lunch. I do worry I’ll eat them though. I have a real problem here and my counsellor hasn’t really helped just sent me a list of distractions.

Someone asked about ADHD. I have been referred for an assessment for this.

Hi.

I'm the same.

I've actually had a gastric sleeve in Turkey. My BMI was 42 and I got to a BMI of 25.5, so just over healthy, never actually made it there.

Am now back upto a BMI of 28 because I just can't stop eating :(

@FoodObsessedToo oh, hello! I can’t get over how obsessed I am with food!

I think someone’s suggestion for me to work full time was the best advice I could have been given. At least I’ll be working so will limit the amount of hours I can eat.

Read up on ghrelin, leptin, insulin resistance and ketosis.

If you got to that state you will 9/10 not be consumed by food.

@CutiePatooties I really think you simply have to stop buying the sugary rubbish and biscuits. If they are in the house you will eat them. You aren't depriving your husband and child by not buying these things, you are doing them a favour!

It's not for everyone but I really recommend a low carb diet. There's a brilliant Bootcamp thread on Mumsnet run by BIWI and a few others which gives fabulous advice, menus, recipes, even (when you have kicked the sugar addiction) some desserts using sugar substitutes.

I follow a low carb diet because it keep my weight where I want it to be post menopause, I have loads more energy, the WOE works with my lifestyle (it helps if you have time and enjoy cooking as ready meal type foods often have lots of hidden sugars) and importantly, most people find they rarely feel hungry as they are eating good fats and protein which fill them up. If you eat lots of sugar (carbs) you soon feel hungry again which can spiral out of control.

I think there are lots of ways to lose weight and you have go find a way which works for you. This happens to be my preferred way of eating. Good luck with whatever you decide 😊

It's definitely a good distraction.

Unfortunately I'm home all day so have alot of time on my hands 😕

Since having the op I actually eat till I'm sick

OP, I've just read the bit about your husband saying it would be unfair if he couldn't have the sweet treats he likes. If he's out at work all day, couldn't he have chocolate or a cake at lunch time, leaving the sweet stuff in his office drawer and so removing temptation from the house? Have you had an honest discussion with him about how miserable you are feeling and how you need to change your eating habits?

So does that mean Dry Roasted are off the list?
I guess with those food choices it's combining them to make in to meals.
So are they what you eat now, all the time.

I feel like for kids they need their starchy carbs.

Then they say just give them what you are having 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can't believe your husband thinks it would be unfair to him not to have ice creams, Easter eggs, chocolate biscuits and cake in the house. Why does he have to have so much!

@Redruby2020 it's easy to give kids carbs with lots of recipes. You can add potatoes or pasta or rice to their diet. You just don't have to have it yourself. Eg you could make a bolognaise sauce and kids could have pasta with theirs and you could have yours with green veg; kids could have scrambled egg on toast and you could have yours with a bit of bacon or smoked salmon.

Yes it's a bit of a faff at first but you get used to it. Much easier if your other half is on board too.

I feel like I can’t not have these things in the house as we put a biscuit bar in with our DDs packed lunch and DH eats them too. Can’t stop them from eating treats because I have a major problem with food.

There doesn't seem to be so much of it or so much choice.

Maybe you wouldn't eat two biscuits and a cake if you had a smaller number on the house because you would know you would need to leave some for your dd and dh.

@YellowDots very good point. I’m going to limit the amount to just what DD needs for lunches. Then he can take his treats to work.

I’m going to try carb free. It’s worked in the past… don’t know why, but I can’t stick to anything now. Eggs for breaky tomorrow!

OP I understand your struggles, have had them myself, I've managed to lose weight but it is a continuous struggle to keep it off and it's still not quite where I want it.

I've had similar mindset problems to you. I don't have a magic answer. But one thing that can help just to get started is the idea of "one good day".

Just have one good day. One day where you don't snack on rubbish, one day where you go for a walk.

If you manage it, see how you feel at the end of the day.

You might go back to your habits again the next day, you might not. But maybe later in the week you'll think again about having "one good day".

If you can do it a couple of times a week then that's a start.

I think a lot of it stems from putting too much pressure on yourself and then it becomes a negative cycle and you want to eat more. You are beating yourself up a lot.

If you can't do one good day, try one good morning to begin with, or even one good hour. Whatever you can do, and take it from there.