DH sabotages weight loss

[longpathtohappiness]

I am at my heaviest

He eats mountains of chocolate and crisps in front of me. I want to do a menu plan and eat healthy but he wants to live off burgers, chips and similar.

its up to you what you eat and it’s to him what he eats? Just because you’ve decided to be healthier doesn’t mean he has to follow suit.

But he's her partner. It wouldn't be absolutely crazy to suggest he could be a little supportive.

I'd try to use some 'fuck you and your junk food obsession, DH' as extra motivation to ensure you follow your plans to the letter, OP.

Plan your own meals. Let him fend for himself.

It will be harder in some ways. But chanel your inner anger. Don’t give way to temptation and follow your meal plan.
Good Luck @longpathtohappiness

You cant blame him for that, self control is on you just cook and eat what you want

Is he overweight OP? Is he possibly a bit jealous of your plans to get fit and healthy and feels like he will be "left behind" as the unhealthy one in the relationship? As others have said - use this as incentive! Tap into those feelings of smugness and watch his annoyance as you make healthy choices!

This. Stop blaming him and his choices for you and yours. Does he do all the cooking now?

Can you get up and go into another room. I would also worry hes controlling, he doesn't want you to lose weight as other men might look at you.

YABU
there will still be crisps and chocolate in the world. He is not cooking you fatty meals and forcing you to eat them. Sorry it’s hard but focus on you not him.

He's only sabotaging your weight loss if you let him!
Just buy and cook your own food.

He isnt making the op the bad food. He is eating in front of her. How is this controlling?

I'm shocked by the responses here! Are people really cooking a whole separate dinner every night? The cost and the time and the mess would put me off, and the smell of fatty food if you're denying yourself that would tempt anyone. I think I have decent willpower but would find that hard.

Could you suggest meeting in the middle somehow? Take turns at cooking and on your night you make something that's healthy but not too far away from what he might be eating - so don't go all in with a quinoa salad, but maybe do a chilli with higher proportion of veg included and smaller amount of rice. Or cook chicken breast but do some chips just for him. On his nights, you could either eat a much smaller portion or you could have something different. Or like half and half - if he is doing sausages and chips, make yourself a salad and just have a sausage or two with it.

It's going to be hard, but it might work to ease him in gently.

Really hard. Only thing I can suggest is don’t buy the crap, don’t cook the crap. Stick to your meal plan and if he wants an alternative let him cook/buy it. You can only control your behaviour and your reaction to his - if he wants to shovel garbage down his neck so be it - you can choose to be different xx

This is really common.
People did this to me all the time and I hated it.
it’s about them - your new plan makes them feel threatened
Yes I had to make and buy my own food and I just didn’t look when people did this stuff
You can only control yourself not others and this is more about him being unsupportive than the food. Don’t let this stop you doing what you need to do

I had one like this, I just had to ignore it and anything he bought home for me 🙄 it gets easier once the weight starts to come off

I take the midway approach at the moment. If he wants sausage and chips, I'll have low fat sausage and vegetables, that sort of thing. I'm finding myself picking at the half opened bag of smarties that sort of thing. He isn't here when I'm doing that, I can't blame him, I feed myself with this. I am such an emotional eater. I need to get a grip but he really doesn't help with his chocolate obsession

But OP's DH isn't bringing it home "for her". He's bringing it for himself. OP's lack of self control around foods is not her DH's issue, nor should he have to restrict his own eating in order to "help".

Have you considered counselling OP?

To a degree this is an excuse for not committing to your weight loss plan OP. Yes it makes things harder for you because you have to find some extra willpower. You've got the cooking sorted if you're giving him the chips he wants and not having them yourself. Why don't you get a lockable box for him to put his crisps and chocolate in and he keeps the key?

Include plenty of lean protein in your meals, OP and that will curb the snacking. You just won’t feel like it.
You should just do your own thing and leave him to it. If he wants to eat crap, let him but he’ll have health consequences from it long term.

He may eventually join you in eating healthily if you keep it up and he sees you’re serious and the benefits it brings you.

resisting the urge to snack is something we do have to learn however you can have these items in small moderation sometimes. My kids have treats in the house for themselves and sometimes I am tempted to eat them, so either I will count/weigh them out and fit it into my calorie budget or I will go buy something for me that’s a treat to choose instead, low calorie jelly and fruit is a really nice sweet treat. Black grapes are bloody amazing and really satiate a craving.

Ask him to put all the chocolate in a cupboard where you can’t see it and don’t go to get it

I think for this he is not sabotaging it, that would be constantly making uou heavy meals and urging uou to eat shit. The fact he choses to eat it is fine, he is allowed. He doesn’t need to go on a diet, cut the crap or eat in secret as you struggle with self control. That wont work.

you need to take personal responsibility and not blame him. I’m trying to lose weight, I don’t care what my husband sits and eats of an evening, and I certainly can’t imagine accusing him of sabotaging my weight loss and it is his fault if he eats something I want.

Right so it’s not really your husband then is it? It’s lack of self control. Don’t be playing the blame game, OP.

OP first thing is to reset so that you centre yourself. Why are meals centred around what he wants? Do a meal plan around what you want. If he doesn't like it he can either cook for himself or just serve up a ready meal that's quick to cook.

Who buys all the crisps and sweets? If it's you just stop it and make him buy his own'

Regardless of whether he is slim, eating crap all the time isn't good. Take control OP.

I would also worry hes controlling, he doesn't want you to lose weight as other men might look at you

What an outrageous assumption to make, how could this be your first thought based on what the op said.

Take control of what? She can take control of her own eating habits yes and absolutely should. But certainly not his.