Page 2 | DH sabotages weight loss

longpathtohappiness · 2024-03-06T01:56:38+00:00

I am at my heaviest He eats mountains of chocolate and crisps in front of me. I want to do a menu plan and eat healthy but he wants to live off burgers, chips and similar.

Limer · 06/03/2024 08:32

If he wants sausage and chips, I'll have low fat sausage and vegetables, that sort of thing.

I'm not sure he's sabotaging anything. This is the approach you need to take with all food. He has crisps, you have carrot sticks. He has chocolate, you have nothing. He has alcohol, you have green tea.

But I also think you need to find some meals that you can both enjoy. Lower calorie recipes, give him a big portion with chips, you have a small portion with vegetables/salad.

And it's also worth having a frank conversation with him, explaining that you're trying hard to lose weight and would appreciate some support.

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 06/03/2024 08:35

My Dh and I have very different diets. He loves junk, I don’t.

Neither of us feel threatened by the others way of eating.

soupfiend · 06/03/2024 08:36

Swearwolf · 06/03/2024 06:43

I'm shocked by the responses here! Are people really cooking a whole separate dinner every night? The cost and the time and the mess would put me off, and the smell of fatty food if you're denying yourself that would tempt anyone. I think I have decent willpower but would find that hard.

Could you suggest meeting in the middle somehow? Take turns at cooking and on your night you make something that's healthy but not too far away from what he might be eating - so don't go all in with a quinoa salad, but maybe do a chilli with higher proportion of veg included and smaller amount of rice. Or cook chicken breast but do some chips just for him. On his nights, you could either eat a much smaller portion or you could have something different. Or like half and half - if he is doing sausages and chips, make yourself a salad and just have a sausage or two with it.

It's going to be hard, but it might work to ease him in gently.

I eat completely different food to my partner. I eat fresh home cooked food from scratch. He eats beige.

Unfortunately guess which one of us is overweight!!

Sonora25 · 06/03/2024 08:43

If you are dieting you are not cooking massive meals from scratch every night anyway. I eat salads wirh a protein, omelettes etc most nights or cook something for the kids and eat a small portion/leave out the carbs.

Lampslights · 06/03/2024 09:51

It’s not really cooking whole different meals from scratch, more you just cook enough chips for one. Do more veg for you, shove two types of sausage in, it’s not a big deal. It’s not like she’s sitting making two lasangnes.

OneNightWasShitWhereWasTheTwist · 06/03/2024 11:59

longpathtohappiness · 06/03/2024 07:20

I take the midway approach at the moment. If he wants sausage and chips, I'll have low fat sausage and vegetables, that sort of thing. I'm finding myself picking at the half opened bag of smarties that sort of thing. He isn't here when I'm doing that, I can't blame him, I feed myself with this. I am such an emotional eater. I need to get a grip but he really doesn't help with his chocolate obsession

Get one of those lock boxes and get him to lock all the chocolate, crisps etc in it so you don't know the combination.

HarrietStyles · 06/03/2024 12:13

I struggle with this. I have to be so careful with every calorie I eat and do loads of exercise……. but my husband can eat a house and still has an amazing body.

We cook meals that meet both our needs with just a little tweak:

Steak and salad (he has chips with his and I don’t
fajitas (I have mine without the wraps)
Jacket potato (He has chilli and cheese, I have coleslaw and salad)
Roast fish and vegetables (he has new potatoes or rice etc)
Home-made burgers (I have mine without a bread bun)

And I asked him to keep crisps/sweets/chocolate in a drawer in his office desk away from tempting me. As he knows I’m working hard to maintain my weight after a big weight loss and so he is happy to oblige most of the time and keep his treats to times he isn’t sat next to me!

But if he isn’t willing to do this, could you do some healthy snack pots to eat whenever he is snacking on junk - eg chopped fruit/cucumber and carrots/raisins and a few pretzels/rice cakes. Sometimes it helps with your willpower to mimic their snacking action, but to do it with a healthier alternative.

GoldDuster · 06/03/2024 12:17

Unless he's doing all the shopping and cooking and there's something stopping you from doing both of these things, I'm not sure how its not possible for you to do a menu plan, and eat whatever you want.

Cas112 · 06/03/2024 13:42

Does he place the food down your throat op?

Patrickiscrazy · 06/03/2024 14:04

If your husband is not overweight/not on a diet, why shouldn't he eat what he wants?

ohdamnitjanet · 06/03/2024 14:10

It may or may not be acceptable for dh to do this, but he’s making no effort to be supportive. I’m trying to not drink at home and really cut back to support someone. It’s not easy, but isn’t it what you do?

LivingDeadGirlUK · 06/03/2024 14:12

longpathtohappiness · 06/03/2024 07:20

I take the midway approach at the moment. If he wants sausage and chips, I'll have low fat sausage and vegetables, that sort of thing. I'm finding myself picking at the half opened bag of smarties that sort of thing. He isn't here when I'm doing that, I can't blame him, I feed myself with this. I am such an emotional eater. I need to get a grip but he really doesn't help with his chocolate obsession

I totally get this OP, I used to do the same with all the bits of chocolate my partner leaves laying around, I've only stopped because I've been flagged pre-diabetic!

Can the treats go in one place out the way so you can't see them?

TwylaSands · 06/03/2024 18:56

Op, does he share the cooking? When you cook, cook healthy food for you both.

Pinkplans · 06/03/2024 19:27

I’ve no doubt that it’s a lot harder to lose weight when you live with someone who has an unhealthy diet. I grew up with both my parents being morbidly obese. My mum has chronic illnesses which reduce her mobility and affect her diet. She’s a great cook and I have a lot of memories of her trying to eat more healthy but my dad unintentionally discouraged it because he didn’t want to.

My dad died a few years ago and she’s changed her life. She’s more active, she joined slimming world and lost six stone. I know she misses him badly, and I wouldn’t say this to other people, but he was a bad influence on her weight and I don’t think she’d be in the same position if he were still here.

I’m not saying you should leave your partner OP, I just don’t think other posters appreciate what a big affect our partners have on our eating habits and it’s not as simple as ‘just make your own food’. Good luck OP.