Do I give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

I understand how you feel.I'm 46 & also do intermittent fasting.
Very difficult to stay motivated when not seeing results.

Take comfort in the fact you look like you've got great legs.

Accept and dress accordingly would be my advice.

You can't outrun your diet.

Weight loss and gain is all about how many calories and what food you eat. Exercise is fantastic, it's good for muscle tone, cardiovascular health, mental health, but if you are eating more calories than you need then you'll gain weight.

You need to do a TDEE calculator, figure out how many calories your body uses to exist and go about your normal daily business and then eat less than that.

For me that means I need to eat 1670 calories a day or less, doing that I'm losing 2lb a week. I add in some exercise because I want the benefits I listed above, but if I miss exercise for a week but stick to the diet then I still lose the same amount.

I can't exercise due to disability. I'm a similar age, with 3dc and was a similar shape in April (im now size 8).
I did it by IF and logging every calorie. Seeing written down how many calories foods have in was my wake up call. It made me think twice about what I was eating. I still log my calories but probably don't need to. I found that I didn't need a diet I needed a way of life. I needed to change habits not just restrict for a while. For everyone that will look different but for me it meant building in some flexibility to have a treat with the dc or eating earlier/later on occasion without it feeling a failure. I took the view that its long term goal not a quick fix (a total turn around in my outlook).
I also logged improvements in my health to keep track of my progress, not just from a weight point of view.

You do not look like a whale!

However if you want to loose weight, you do have to reduce calories. Exercise isn’t going to do it.

Bless you - even my legs are chunky! I just hate when I’m sitting or lying down and I can feel my tummy just sat there

Please list exactly what you eat and we'll try and help

initially i would go for the fast 800 program ONLINE.
then i would eat as clean and fresh as possible with only small amounts of sugar.
make sure you are eating the recommended amount of fiber for your age.
i'd also switch from crossfit to pilates or barr. something less cardio and more toning of the core.

Sorry you're feeling this way, OP. Unfortunately if you're not losing weight it's because you are eating too much. You need a calorie deficit to lose weight - try going down to 1000-1200 calories a day, and include plenty of protein in your diet to build muscle as you exercise. It is incredibly tough to lose weight, so you could also change your mindset into accepting your body shape and dressing to love it.

I have been exercising since end of last year. By January I didn't see much difference in my weight. Then I decided to do Intermittent fasting, I couldn't believe within a few weeks, the weight was going down. I always see people here saying its mostly what you eat, I started to believe it. Maybe try the IF too plus the exercise you can put in during the week, you will see some changes.

They key will be logging what you eat. I can recommend nutracheck. You need to be honest with it. Weigh your food especially something like cereal. What you think is 300 calories is probably more.

Slow progress is normal. You don’t want to adopt an unsustainable change, stick to it for a year, then regain the loss.

If you enjoy the exercise stick with it! You should do it because it makes you stronger and it’s enjoyable.

Do work out your calorie intake and manage it so you’re eating slightly under what you need. See it as a permanent change rather than a diet.

You’ve got this - keep at it.

I would recommend seeing a Nutritionist to help you with a meal plan but what you need to do is reduce your calories over a long period of time. Consistency is key.

Hi OP, you’re nowhere near as big as I imagined you to be from your post. But, I get why you’re upset.

I’m your age range, perimenopausal, a disordered eater, enjoy exercise but kept out eating my exercise. I was your size last summer.

Then I started using my fitness pal religiously and exercising. I eat approximately 1800 calories on average a day. But I’ve set my calories so that my Fridays and Saturdays I eat closer to 2100 and less in the week. Otherwise weekends used to be my downfall, now they’re not.

I eat real protein (for me that’s chicken) because it’s filling and it gives me the energy to exercise and recover. Don’t use shakes and gimmicky foods - they don’t satisfy me the same way food does and then I end up having another binge cycle.

Set your macros on MFP and don’t be strict about it. Eat your carbs - don’t cut them. Just set a high protein goal (say approx 1g of protein x 1lb of your ideal body weight). Then set your carbs and fats goals.

Now, I’m almost two stone down but I can’t tell you how much flatter my tummy is and how much fitter I feel.

Please lift weights. Even 2 sets of dumbbells from Argos will do it. It will change your shape and make you feel stronger. As your food intake improves and as you start using dumbbells you’ll see how more ‘compact’ your body will look. I just browse through instagram for exercises and I used to use the sweat app for workouts.

The best cardio for you is swimming and walking in the fresh air. It really helps.

Don’t let one bad day of eating or an increase on scales ruin your hard work. Just move forward. My pre-period binges aren’t as bad as before but they’re still bad and whilst I gained weight at those points, I’ve still lost weight overall. Good luck!

Your legs look great and (apologies if I am wrong but) it looks from the photo that you are slouching back and pushing your tummy out so it seems bigger than it actually is.

I would give hrt a chance to work if you have only just started it as a lot of belly fat can be hormonal. I would replace cardio with strength training as that will help withlowering cortisol which contributes to belly fat. I also found changing my diet to have a bigger impact than calorie counting, mainly cutting all added sugar, bread and sticking to whole foods.

I hear you (and I look just like you). Struggling right now. But I know why - I'm eating too much. The exercise is definitely important and making a difference to how I feel, but I'm going over on myfitnesspal every day. When I stop doing that, I know I will lose weight.

@Sianholby I was thinking great legs too! Definitely not a whale.

You are not destined to be fat!

Don't want to be mean but I know from personal experience that all the exercise in the world will not work off excess fat - you need to eat less. Exercise will make you fitter and be good for all round general health but dieting is the only way I'm afraid.

You can do it!

Hi so here’s what I ate yesterday whilst I worked and I’d say it’s a typical day for me:
Breakfast: Multi grain hoops with semi skimmed milk and a coffee with one stevia sweetener
Lunch: 5 Chicken wings with a lot of chick peas as veg
Dinner: Spaghetti Bolognaise (for all as we eat as family) with wholemeal pasta
Snacks: My kids were at holiday club and I had a banana and one garibaldi biscuit!

Agree with pp try some strength training. I also found that I ate too little consistently for weight loss. Intermittent fasting works as you need normally the rest of the week. If you consistently eat too little t hen your body won't want to shift it.

I would also suggest that you would benefit from eating more protein. It is suggested to eat 1g per lb over the day.

I would say your dinner looks really good provided it’s lean mince, veg in the bolognese and not loads of pasta.
Hoop cereals are generally really sugary and start your day with a big blood sugar spike that causes insulin to rise sharply storing the sugar/carbs without providing you with energy.

I’d go for eggs and avocado on a piece of toast for breakfast, skinless chicken thighs with the chickpea salad rather than wings to reduce fat and perhaps one protein rich snack instead of one of the sugar snacks. Something like hummus and crudités.

I think a few small changes and you’ll see results.

matve add a few body weight exercises in each day too- lunges, squats, plank to increase muscle mass and strength which helps with calorie burn.

I should add- I’m not overweight these days but certainly have been so I know the frustration when it doesn’t shift but you’ll get there.

Cut out the processed cereals etc. Eggs or other protein for breakfast.

How big are your portion sizes?

This was me a few months ago.

When I was 42 (5 years ago!) I could eat a burger every day and stay slim, then I had a surprise baby at 43, was thrown into perimenopause, and never lost the baby weight. Plus I gained an extra 10kgs.

I had a stomach, when I never usually do, and I found it so so uncomfortable, and felt it impossible to lose.

I've finally lost 6kg in the last few weeks by really overhauling my diet. I cut out alcohol and sugar almost entirely. I eat very little meat, though I eat a lot of salmon. I cut out most dairy, unless I'm having feta in a salad, or milk in coffee. I still eat carbs, but not a lot.

I eat a lot of vegies, a lot of salads with roasted vegies. I try to focus on healthy options like legumes, pumpkin seeds, prunes, mushrooms, walnuts, sardines, eggs, avocados, blueberries etc. I also cut my portion sizes dramatically.

A few years ago I would never have thought I'd be eating like this, but honestly at 47 it is now the only thing that will shift any weight.

Distribution of fat is hormonal. Into menopause, more fat is laid down around our middles. HRT should help a bit with that (in theory - not sure that helped with me!).

Generally, when you lose weight, it goes from everywhere. But a low carb/keto diet will help target viseral fat, which is the dangerous stuff around your organs and tummy.

You said you were trying for low carb, but your sample day's diet is full of carbs: Multi grain hoops (85.7% carbs, inc. 17% sugar), chick peas, wholemeal pasta, banana, biscuit!

Have a read up of the low carb/keto diet and start a plan. You don't have to restrict calories particularly, just stop eating sugar or grains which turn to sugar in your system, triggering insulin production and blocking fat burning. Not everyone agrees with this approach, but I would you encourage you to learn about it and make your own decision. The Diet Doctor website is a good place to start.