Do I give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

I'm the same op, same shape too, apple when fat but hourglass when slimmer. I'm also on HRT. I have a belly that seems to pull on my side and give me an uncomfortable feeling. I have to sleep with it propped on a pillow so it doesn't hang so much. I'm not even that big, 16-18, which yes, I know is bigger than average but not huge.

I've found the best diet for me is to cut out carbs, have an 8 hour eating window, cut out UPF/takeaways/sweeteners. I need to get my insulin response and inflammation in check to lose weight. What is BS though is how little you can eat after meno. Fuck knows why, maybe so resources went to child bearing age/breast feeding women back when we were cavewomen. Who knows, but I'd like to know why meno evolved as it did.

I am exercising 5-6 days a week, I have to get up early and put myself out to do so, I've just today changed my hours on one day a week to facilitate going to a gym class I really like as its an hour earlier than what would have worked. I found a gym with lots of classes and that starts early.

Consistency in the changes you make is what is going to be most important.

Echoing a previous poster - lift weights. Just a pair of 5kg dumbells will do. After 40, for many women, cardio alone won’t cut it. You need to maintain muscle mass which in turn burns calories even at rest. It’s one of the reasons we are slimmer in our 20s, we have better muscle mass. I’m apple-shaped too, but have started to see my hour-glass return since lifting weights.

The last place fat will disappear is your stomach area because it’s the first place it will go on. It’s there from prehistoric ‘feast or famine’ times. You need to get rid of the visceral fat elsewhere first before it comes off your stomach. Convert it to muscle. I know because it’s my last problem area now and it’s slowly budging, but it takes a while. Think less about losing weight and more about changing your shape with weights and muscle gain.

Was going to say the same about OP's legs, great bum too ! But I understand the wanting to lose the midsection bit.

For me (mid 40s) it took calorie deficit + 16:8 + low carb.

Can maintain now on much less of a deficit and a good blow out about every 1 to 2 weeks. Suits me but I realise not everyone's the same.

Also should've said knocked wine on the head unless socialising.

You aren’t alone, many of us have been here. I do a calorie deficit, a lot of fast paced walking and go to the gym but I focus more on strength in the gym than cardio. I also don’t drink wine anymore either

Maybe you just havent found the right diet and exercise plan for you yet?
I felt the same way last year, convinced I would never lose weight and I was 'supposed' to be fat(also similar age and peri)! Finally went to the GP and found I had a serious vitamin deficiency that was not only causing me several medical problems, it was also preventing me from losing weight!
So its worth considering your overall health as well as diet and exercise.

So far Ive lost nearly 6st and honestly I feel fitter and healthier now in my 50s then I ever did since a teenager! What works for me is a whole food plant based diet. Im a big eater so I fill up on fruit and veg and stick to as much unprocessed foods as possible.
I also exercise 5 days a week with a combination of weights, pilates and low impact/intensity cardio, plus regular dog walks.
Im sure you will get there....sometimes it just takes time to find the things that will work for you.

Why two threads @Sianholby?

I'd recommend following Emma Storey-Gordon (esgfitness) on Instagram and listening to her podcasts, this is what she specialises in.

I’m the same shape also peri but disabled so can’t exercise at all. Also now starving hungry after every meal. Trying eat all the right things yet still have stick less than 1200 calories or I put on weight. So even a non diet day still feels like starving before even think about a loss. My TFL was only ever 1400 but that assumes fair bit of movement even when you tick the low exercise box.