My 2024 ‘overhaul my life’ thread

[thenewaveragebear1983]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4695746-i-need-to-lose-23lbs-in-2023-and-overhaul-my-life

last year I did a big life overhaul and thought I’d do the same in 2024 to keep me on track. Feel free to comment or join in!

stuff that went well

• i did lose weight, I was 153lbs at my last weigh in so I lost 17lbs although I think my post Xmas weigh in will see a few of those returning
• i got a new job
• I got my puppy 🐶
• I got put on hrt for my anxiety and my mental health is a lot better
• I climbed snowdon, ran 950kms and did 60 gym classes

Goals for 2024

• continue with slimming world. I have 3 weighs left on my countdown, and I will then buy another. My aim is to get any Xmas gain off before this countdown ends, then average 1lb a week in my next one. I’d then be 10st - I think that’s my target.
• Dry January, leading to 100 days dry. I really want to give up drinking both for my weight and my health
• Self care routine- I need to get some sort of skincare/ grooming routine in place
• my dog has put paid to my gym classes as I cannot get to the morning classes now, so while I am walking a lot, I’m not doing any strength stuff so I am going to build in a home workout schedule, starting small.
• I enjoy my job, I want to do some training and consider where I can go within the company
• i have some cardio issues and thyroid issues, I want to consider coming off HRT and pursuing a diagnosis for this.
• Snowdon really gave me the wanderlust and I want to do more
• I need to get some friends. I have realised this Christmas that I actually don’t have anyone, I’m so very lonely and I don’t really know why I don’t have anyone. So I want to find hobbies/other ways to meet people and socialise. (Need to give this some thought)

Day 84 alcohol free. Day 49 of my 70 day PT. I ran 12kms today, and it felt really good, certainly the first half. Did a hilly route and pushed myself, it’s a while since I have felt confident to try a new route so I’m pleased. I have a very tight hamstring now though and I know from bitter experience that I need to be careful on it and I need to stretch it.

Only a 2 days week this week before 8 lovely days off. I can’t wait, I’m so tired and burned out and I just cannot wait to have some lazy days with my kids and take the dog out and just catch up on life. I’ve had a really intense few months.

I didn’t feel well all week, still feel a bit snotty now and not 100%.

I lost 2.5lbs this week and I only need another 2 to get my (very long awaited) stone award, which I would really really love on Thursday but I never assume as my weight loss is so slow. I’ve been calorie counting and doing SW, it’s quite confusing, but it’s showing that I am basically eating too much (even if I’m technically 100% on plan) and that explains my slow losses. I have been sticking to 1400/1500 cals a day which is a 500 cal deficit, and I know for a fact I am eating much less than I was- and it showed on the scales. So yes, it’s hard and I am having to be very strict but if I want the results, and I do, then I need to be this strict.

I have 3 weeks left on my PT programme and then I need to decide where I am going, I want to keep up with my 2 workouts a week but I need to get some home gym equipment which is an expensive outlay at first. Currently I am using dumbbells up to 7kgs for various arm exercises but I need something heavier. I am actually really pleased with the results so far though, 7 lbs in 7 weeks and more importantly I feel so much stronger and I can see I have toned up so it’s definitely been good for me.

I’ve not updated my thread for a while, but here is an update.

I’m now 10.9.5 - been stuck at this weight for ages. Not a plateau as such, but more than life has crept in and I am finding it hard to make further reductions to get any lower.

I finished my pt programme and started Caroline Girvan. I’m really enjoying it and getting results. I’m on day 22, after day 30 I’m going to switch to a different series, I’ve been doing Iron.

I’m still struggling with my friend issues and while I have been making an effort to see friends more, I am considering other avenues such as joining groups in order to meet people. Overall I feel very lonely.

my screen time is through the roof (in part due to the above I think!)

I still have things on my jobs list that were there on January 1st, I am a terrible procrastinator. Mission next weekend is to paint the final wall in my kitchen so I can put everything away and move onto the next project which is my son’s bedroom.

I’m having a lot of thoughts about my diet and my relationship with food, and doing a lot of research and reading about how I can break out of this ‘diet culture’ and food obsession, and to be happy in my skin. I want to start considering a few ways to break away from it.

Oh and I’m drinking a bit at weekend now, usually just one day a week, and still tracking my units and alcohol free days. I’ve done 123 AF days so far.

my skincare routine is still not great, but it’s better and I have been using sunscreen every day when it’s been sunny so that’s a positive for me because I’m usually awful at that.

I’m doing a charity hike next weekend which will be fun although I am very anxious about the driving side of it, I have been trying to overcome my driving anxiety and have been doing ok, but recently had a bit of a set back and now have been very concerned about driving home after the hike after having no sleep (it’s an overnight thing so will not have slept)

Thanks for this thread @thenewaveragebear1983 reading from the start it does sound like you've been making incredible progress. I think it shows what you can achieve when you plan and make goals.

I think your running time sounds excellent- I'm very impressed with that.

I totally understand how you feel on the friends front- I'm in the same boat. I was going to say that hopefully having a puppy would help with that?

I'm late to the thread but I would like to join, as I feel I'm just emerging from a difficult time and I'm a bit embarrassed about how much I've let myself slide.

In my teens and twenties I was really into skincare sensible sleep habits, healthy eating, self improvement etc. I stuck out massively from my friends. But since age 30 I've been mostly binge eating, but not worried about it, as I feel I know the theory so it's not a problem.

I had 2 c-sections which knocked me out of any fitness. And a really traumatic divorce.

I've moved around a lot, and with the latest move actively decided not to make any friends as I found it so stressful.

I've got 3-4 good friends who all live over 50 miles away. A wonderful partner, and that's it.

I need to up my game with healthy eating. I don't weigh myself but I'm planning to cut out sugar, and only eat at mealtimes.

Grooming- facial hair is a bit of a problem- I had been getting regular threading but the salon closed down so for the last year it's got a bit bad. I need to make an appointment no matter how inconvenient.

Friends- kind of too scared to do anything about this. But as a first step I'm going to proactively connect with my old good friends to make me feel better.

Fitness- am considering getting a PT- my stomach and core really need work. I can afford it so I should probably do it.

@greenshoots123 hi 👋
it sounds like you’ve had a difficult few years. Be kind to yourself! Definitely get a PT but get the right one, personally I have had pts with “sporty” guys in their 20’s and I don’t feel that they really understand, and why would they, the biology of a 40 yr old, perimenopausal, tired of life woman…

one other thing that’s has a big impact on me has been my iron tablets. I never realised I was anaemic but oh god, 3 months on them and i feel so so much better. My palpitations have almost stopped except for a few days of my cycle. Brain fog has almost gone. I just feel so much better. I never even realised I was so low because my count was technically normal so the lab results never raised it.

And the friends thing is hard. I find it so hard to make friends, I feel like everyone I know has loads of friends and I am just one of theirs whereas they are my only one. I kind of hide the fact I have no friends like I’m really ashamed of it. I did have one very close friend but she has a lot of mental health issues and I found that I was always her therapist but she couldn’t handle me also needing her, it was too much for her. And then she has pretty much ghosted me for 7 months, which I’ll be honest and say, has really broken me and made me very cautious now. It’s almost like a break up. I miss her a lot but actually I don’t know that our friendship can actually recover now from her treating me like that. It’s made me really sad, but I’m over it now. Almost.

Thanks @thenewaveragebear1983 someone else had mentioned iron tablets too so I went and bought them yesterday after I read your post - now I'm making a mental note to see if I feel any improvement by august- I'm sure it will help me fight my fatigue.

Thanks for saying go easy on myself too - I definitely should do this. But I felt like I felt the first glimmer of light recently and could see how far I'd let myself slide when I wasn't paying attention.

I've still been wiped out exhausted this week after a lot of travel, but I'm hoping to get on the straight and narrow food wise from Monday.

I did a sunrise hike for charity this morning, setting off at 2am and catching the sunrise at the summit, then hiking back down, a total of 17kms. I need to do more things like this!!!

That's amazing! Totally the kind of thing that makes you see a new perspective on life!

Maybe you need to rethink what true friendship is. I was locked in a friendship like that for years. She had terrible MH issues and I was pretty much her unpaid minder. i thought 'real friendship' was that intense, full of oversharing and maxed-out support. I thought casual, relaxed, space-giving friendships were shallow and insubstantial. I have totally reversed my view on this.

When you have a casual happy catch up coffee or dog walk with someone and just chat about surface stuff count that as a big friendship win. it isn't draining, it's not over-demanding. It replenishes you. If you don't give off a vibe of wanting more intensity in friendship, I bet you'll attract more friends, or see what you currently think of as superficial friendships as more valuable in their current state.

If you like someone and know them reasonably well, why not invite them on a catch-up dog walk or for a coffee after work? Keep the conversation light and upbeat. Chat about that gorgeous sunrise hike you did, about your dog etc. Start to cultivate and value 'superficial' friendship. Over time, these are the ones that now really sustain me. I had a horrible family crisis a couple of years ago and called on a friend who I'd known at arm's length for over a decade. Never been inside her house. Never got drunk or sat up all night. Always met for coffees and lunches and polite chit chat. She was an absolute rock about the problem.

I also want to say, I think you are doing amazingly well. I admire how you are sticking with the fitness and weight loss and adding in stunning things like the sunrise hike. It won't take you long to find good, long-lasting friends who admire and like and support you. But I'd dial back the intensity of that last friendship. That's not closeness, that's draining and people steer well clear of it. Took me years to learn that and readjust.

@OwlWeiwei you speak a lot of sense. I am not really confident enough to call on people I don’t really know, yet. But I am working on it. For example I am going to invite some of the school mums to do something like drinks/meal, and things like that. But I find it hard because I am not very confident when I’m out of my comfort zone.

I asked today about condensing my hours at work to do a 9 day fortnight. I’d have to take a tiny cut in hours to fit it in, but the benefits to my lifestyle would be great and I am now going to work out my hours etc to see if it’s feasible. It would give me a day for myself, I could go to the gym or Do something social which would seriously improve my overall wellbeing.

So it's 1st July today, exactly halfway through the year.

Some things I've done:
Condensed my working hours to a 9 day fortnight (starting today actually)
Been to see the killers in Manchester
Climbed pen y van at sunrise
Joined a new gym (for fitness and socials)
Organised a night out with school mums and been catching up with old friends. Not met with many but I've been really trying to check in with old friendships
Went to Edinburgh
I've been expanding my listening and watching and looking for new inspiring stuff to listen to.
I'm really really trying to ditch the diet culture, stop weighing myself and just be happier in my skin as I am- this is hard.
I'm partway through a whole30 and I'm genuinely feeling really excellent on it this time
I did 3 months completely alcohol free at the start of the year.
I've committed to London marathon 2025 and have booked accommodation in London for the marathon weekend so that's a definite positive step towards actually doing it!
I completed a 10 wk pt course with Tom and then on my own completed Caroline Girvan's iron series before joining this new gym.

So lots of good things happening.,

Some things still in progress:

I'm not driving well at the moment. It's got so I actually avoid certain trips and the long detours. I'm torn between saying 'be kind to yourself' and 'grip up woman' - my route to work is particularly challenging. I need to get this sorted as I was previously doing really well. I have made the commitment to myself that my goal for next year is to drive somewhere new. Not necessarily motorway, but to set off to a new place and drive there. I keep thinking how I'll never be able to take my kids to the seaside if I don't sort this.

My hrt needs a tweak as a few things are creeping back, see anxiety above.

It's all well and good ditching the diet culture but I actually do want to lose some weight and I'm pretty much the same as I was at the start of the year! Although I think I'm more muscle and less fat now.

I'm still quite lonely but I'm making good inroads with that

My spending is a bit wild, mostly in vinted. I think I'm a bit addicted! I'm selling a lot but also buying a lot and none of it really works so I end up reselling most of it, if not all. I need to curb that a bit. My phone/social media use is also pretty poor especially during work hours when I get bored or evenings.

Ah sounds like great progress @thenewaveragebear1983!! And so good to write it all down and capture it - as otherwise it would be easy to focus on the negatives and not feel much had changed.

Sounds like you're making great strides with the fitness side and social side!! I'm very much still hiding under a rock 😆

My main massive difference is reading the Chris van Tullekan UPF book and trying to avoid processed food.

It's massively improved my mood and mindset and not made me feel so overwhelmed and wrung out all the time.

I'm also trying to actively do a lot more fitness classes- and going for massages- (to massage the fat out of my body)

So overall I definitely feel like I've made a proactive start so that's really good.

@Blending123 I found the CvT book free on Spotify and that's the only way I got through it! He also has a bbc sounds podcast with his brother about the experiment. I'm reading Tim Spector now which is similar but I'm finding it more readable than UPP was. I've been doing a little stint of whole 30 so have had no UPF for about 8 days now, no bread, no dairy, no sugar and no alcohol. I genuinely feel so much better and a lot less swollen in my joints, especially my fingers.

Yes that's great @thenewaveragebear1983 it's amazing what you notice when you cut it out. I'm just starting on the bit about inflammation- which could be why your joints are feeling better. That's something you probably wouldn't associate with food- until reading the book or trying the diet.

Another interesting bit was how vitamin supplements etc aren't particularly beneficial. I'd just started on iron supplements a month ago- I had been feeling good despite pooing problems which I know is common with iron supplements. My mum had warned me against self-medicating and messing with things, and what the UPF book said seems to back her up. The fact that excess iron can block another nutrient being absorbed (can't remember what). I am feeling so much better on a whole food diet than from any supplement though.

It's really good reading the UPF book because it's encouraging me to really vary my diet to get the full range of nutrients that my body might be seeking. Right now I'm not missing UPF at all, but admittedly it's only been a few days for me.

I thought I'd slimmed down a little bit, but my stomach is still quite large, that is surprising, because I haven't eaten anything sweet at all for over a week. In that time I'd normally have consumed about 10 cakes and chocolate bars- I'm not even exaggerating. I suppose I have a lot of legacy fat to break down before I see proper changes.

@Blending123 yes I think part of it is just trusting the process and trusting your body. I have been loosely counting calories this week just to keep in check. It's interesting how much more satisfied I am on my calorie allowance, I seem to naturally eat to around 1500-1600 calories. I have come on today and I have had no pmt or crazy food cravings/binges which is totally unheard of. I think I've had a couple of more processed things today, namely peanut butter and some dried fruit, and I really noticed how much easier it was to overeat and how much less satisfying it is.

I am going out on Thursday though so not sure I'll manage it when out of the house!

Thanks @thenewaveragebear1983 I'm trying to concentrate on feeling good rather than looking good- and hopefully before I know it I will have slimmed down anyway! 🤞

For your night out on Thursday, you could try to order a healthy option if it's there, but otherwise try to pay attention to how you feel after eating unhealthy food. For me I had a burger on sat night, and on Sunday I was feeling waves of anxiety and stress- that I'd normally put down to being in a stressful situation- but really I was overwhelmed and couldn't cope (was driving my daughter to netball and missed a turning) literally wasn't coping- which because I'd had a nice few days additive free I could kind of attribute my stress to the fact I'd eaten processed food.

Before that I was thinking it was all the menopause- which I think it is in terms of meaning I can't cope with it now, whereas before my body could just absorb all those additives.

I have to say it's reassuring to think the solution is eat healthier- rather than keep eating junk and put loads of artificial hormones and supplements on top of that - that would be even harder for my body to cope with.

My spending is a bit wild, mostly in vinted. I think I'm a bit addicted! I'm selling a lot but also buying a lot and none of it really works so I end up reselling most of it, if not all. I need to curb that a bit. My phone/social media use is also pretty poor especially during work hours when I get bored or evenings.

With this, you could introduce the concept of 'Grails' (My DS who works in high fashion explained this to me.) You look at your wardrobe and work out what you really need and want, what is missing from your current clothes and what would bring you joy. Make a very short and very specific list. No more than 5 good quality, long lasting items.Then go on the hunt for them. It's all about tracking things and negotiating prices, not buying on impulse. You get better clothes that way!

This is so interesting. I'd been eating really healthily for weeks as DH had a health scare and stopped buying all the snacks he used to buy. Last week, he restocked as his health was okay again and I've dipped in. In the last week I have overeaten or snacked late at night, which I had stopped doing. I've got spots on my face, feel bloated, incredibly tired, sleeping about 2 hours more than usual, very low mood. And these are not really unhealthy snacks. These are low sugar muesli bars, low sugar granola, plain pretzels. But they are processed and they do bring out the worst in me.

Today, back to skyr and berries, poached egg and walnuts. I feel fine, upbeat, energised. I hadn't actually made the connection until I read your post @Blending123 . Thought I was coming down with a bug.

@OwlWeiwei I always used to eat a cereal bar mid afternoon and I felt dreadful, I have cut them out completely and feel so much better. Even low sugar ones- the ogliofructose really does make me bloated and feel horrible

That's great you made the connection @OwlWeiwei - it is interesting when you start to think of it, isn't it?

I actually considered having a cake today as we had them at work, then I decided I couldn't actually be bothered. Then I was thinking in some ways it's easier not to do something than do something.

Doesn't really make sense- but I couldn't be bothered dealing with an afternoon and evening feeling bad and regretting what I did. Then feeling like I had to start from the beginning again.

Love this thread @thenewaveragebear1983 just found you, more than half way through your year. Great to catch up on- there’s a lot of crossover in our lives- and so your posts are really motivating/inspiring reading through the months.

Do you notice a difference in your motivation since you've been writing these posts?
I feel a bit lost on how to start making some changes, so thinking that writing it down somewhere every day might help me get started?

@StillCreatingAName 👋
I do, because I'm quite a reflective person and I'm incredibly hard on myself, it really does help to look back. I look back to this time last year and I was really not in a good place at all, I had a lot of health issues (mostly caused by anaemia and peri) and I was really struggling with anxiety. I'm in a much much better place now.

I'm really trying to make some positive changes in my life- not drinking so much, looking at my relationship with food, dealing with some toxic "friendships" and the impact of them, and looking at my mental health and challenging myself to address things.

I've always been a motivated person I guess, and I particularly like big dramatic changes, especially lifestyle changes. I love a dramatic diet 🤣 currently I'm doing a round of whole30 (except it's a Dirty30 as I am not doing it 100% this time) but weirdly I find it easier to stick to a very structured regime than if I try to make little moderate changes.

@StillCreatingAName sorry, I missed the point of your post I think... I definitely like writing it down, I used to journal but it's a pain having notebooks everywhere and I find it easier to use my phone. I've yet to find a journal app that is as user friendly as this so I tend to just log on here, it's always nice when people read it but I never expect them to!

Happy birthday me! 🥳
Looking back to this time last year, I feel like a different person. HRT has certainly helped, as has iron tablets and generally improving my overall health and taking better care of myself.

The last few weeks I've done a bit of a whole30 type approach. Super clean food, no bread, dairy or sugar. I've not done completely strict as I have had a very few 'off plan' foods and drinks but on the whole I'm on it and I feel amazing! I have finally shifted my plateaued weight loss as well, only a couple of pounds but I'm now 148.5lbs when I was stuck at 153 for months and months and months. I'm running more, I joined a new gym for outdoor physical training which I absolutely love, and I'm looking quite trim- my arms and stomach definitely are showing more muscle and looking much less chubby.

Today is my birthday and dh and I both have the day off, we are going for a run, then to a local running shop for new trainers and gait analysis, then for brunch. I've got a really nice steak for dinner and I may have a glass of wine, I'm not sure yet. Tomorrow we have family coming over and I'm going nice salads, chicken and gammon.

Oh, and the sun is shining- absolutely scorching today ☀️