I need to lose 23lbs in 2023 and overhaul my life

[thenewaveragebear1983]

sorry for a long post!

I have gained a fair bit of weight in 2022, probably a stone ish. BMI wise, I’m just on the cusp of overweight, slightly over 25. I have been running now for 5 years and am cardio fit, but this year I have had a plethora of minor injuries and as a result, have reduced my miles. I do gym classes, circuits etc and dumbbells/core maybe 2-3 times a week and run 3/4 times a week.

my life has spiralled a bit in the latter part of the year. I should never have returned to my stressful school admin job after the summer but they promised me an assistant and some support which did not materialise. From March to October I did two people’s full time roles in a school of 1000 kids by myself, I was regularly exhausted to the point of tears and lived on my nerves. Towards the end, I genuinely felt broken. I left. They’ve messed me around further (long story) but I have finally made peace with it. However, I am now unemployed for the first time in my life. I feel a bit of low level depression.

Reading the salary thread today I am well aware that I have wasted many years of my life due to taking time to raise my kids. I have a first class degree and a post grad, and yet I was working on minimal pay in shit conditions. I want to feel confident and brave enough to fight for something better for myself and my family. I feel desperately frustrated but mostly because I feel this is a corner I have backed myself into and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I have a lovely family, a happy marriage, a lovely home. Things are happy there. But I feel sad inside because I feel unfulfilled in my life and feel like I’m at a major crossroads. I turn 40 next year too. My dh wants to go self employed, and I desperately want to be able to support him to do this, so as a family we can get through the initial difficult year or so to enjoy the benefits of him going self employed.

so anyway, back to my original post. I need to overhaul my life in 2023, I’m posting this for accountability and to start planning. things that have worked for me previously: strict whole30 for a month (not for everyone but I have always felt amazing on it), picking up my exercise regime, and incorporating some yoga to help my injuries. I have a bad habit of eating my feelings away and this is what has contributed to my weight gain this year plus also makes me feel horrible and bloated. I have, I think, a very dysfunctional relationship with food and I know that when I do w30 I get real clarity and peace from this so it’s very beneficial to me both physically and emotionally. I also really want a break from alcohol and will definitely do dry January if not longer.

If anyone would like to join me then please post, I would love some company!

I'm with you.

Big health overhaul needed.

Not weighed myself in a month or so. So that tells you all you need to know. I am very certain my BMI will be over 25!

I'd really like to get back into my size 10 shorts for my holiday in June.

But more than the clothing I just feel so much better when I'm eating the right things and carrying less weight as I have hormone issues that extra body fat exacerbates

For me it's not snacking and keeping my carbs low.

I also want to model a lot more selflessness to my DC so I can encourage it in them.

@FirstTimeMaybes Hi 👋

I hear you on the shorts! This year I ended up buying a bigger size for my holiday and when I put my summer things away I felt really sad that I hadn’t worn any of my lovely small summer clothes this year and potentially never would again.

I definitely empathise with the way food makes us feel inside and I also know that when I consciously eat a clean wholesome diet, I feel better almost immediately. I am really not doing this right now, one day last week I didn’t eat a single fruit or veg 🤦‍♀️

So, after another weekend of absolute freestyling, I dread to think what the damage will be on the scales. I have nothing on this week to get in my way so I’m going to aim for a low carb, low cal week and get plenty of water and veg. I’m booked into 3 classes and will do a few runs, or walk if it’s icy.

I was horrid a month ago to be 5kg more than I thought. I'm 2.5 kg down and now have bmi of 24.9. Ideally want to lose another 7-10kg

I'm joining you! Lost 30lb this year, 40 to go. Abandoned interesting but terribly paid self-employed career that was fizzling out, started studying, and am working at a sort of internship (thank you covid for opening up remote work and options, even though it destroyed so many other things for me). 2023 will be finishing the two qualifications and hoping to get a permanent position.

I will also be taking a long hard look at things in my family and marriage so that I actually get to be prioritised in decision making after spending 15+ years going with what other people want or need. Not sure what that will look like yet and it's a bit scary.

I have exams so my plan this week is to not try to quit Coke, but eat reasonably healthily otherwise. Then between Christmas and new year put food things in place to be successful in 2023.

@limerentidiot wow you have done incredibly well! How did you lose the weight so far, did you follow a specific plan?
its exciting and scary to be at such a crossroads isn’t it? I am so scared of making a bad decision that I am paralysed with indecision. It’s the worst time of year to be job hunting as well.
I hope your exams go well. I will be doing basically damage limitation in the weeks to allow me some freedom at weekends until January 1st when I will start properly.

@thenewaveragebear1983, I was pretty lucky with the weight, I stopped some meds that the doctor swore blind had nothing to do with my weight gain, and also stopped overeating but didn't diet in the slightest. And it all fell off over about 6 months. It's a bit harder now as I was at the current weight for four years before the extra piled on very quickly, so I think my body feels comfortable here. My plan is definitely going to involve lowish carb though as I have started to have some problems with wheat.

I have my internship until April and fingers crossed will be extended until August so at least I am not job hunting right now. There's also a chance of getting made permanent but I haven't really asked how likely that is yet (there are "interns" who started before me and have now graduated, so they are full time with no end date but also no permanent position, so I will be watching with interest).

What are you thinking of doing job wise? A small change or a big one? Can your DH put off the self-employed plan for a year so you can upgrade your skills? You don't want to be stuck in a job you hate if yours is the only income for a while.

@limerentidiot I’m not sure what I want to do to be honest. I have applied for various administrative roles but they tend to be more in the ‘helping people’ category. There aren’t many around. DH could delay going self employed, but I don’t want him to. He is miserable and this is his chance to really make his own mark and I just don’t want to stand in his way really.

I’ve had a tricky few days. I’m not exactly keeping in check, but I’m keeping up my exercise regime and trying very hard not to go too mad on the rubbish. I’m due on and I have a touch of a cold and that seems to have combined into an increase in my appetite overall.

so post Christmas, I weighed in at 169lb- that’s a huge gain over the Christmas period, it is likely a lot of bloating and water retention although I have eaten and drunk a lot. I’m not feeling brilliant today and there’s still some Christmas food in the house, so I’m not fully starting until Jan 1st.

However, I have bought a nice new notebook today for my journaling, and I have also treated myself to a hypno gastric band package which I will start, it’s a 3 week programme and I’m really looking forward to it.

my aim is going to be 23lbs off by whitsun - that’s about a pound a week average, and completely doable if I stick to it. Goal weight = 146lb /10s 6lb

Hi there, please could I join

I would really like to shift about 2.5 stone. Been messing about with it for ages.

I'm halfway through the couch to 5k and really enjoying it. Ive also got Les Mills on demand and plan to use the body pump and core programmes.

Food wise I've just finished reading the Fast 800 so will try that and journaling.

I think accountability is the key for me

Massive solidarity bear. I left my school admin job in December 2020 after having a breakdown due to the jobs being piled on me with no support. I have yet to return to work but that is more due to underlying childhood trauma which I am currently working through with EMDR. I am starting to see some progress from that so am feeling optimistic about the future but need to make some changes including weight loss.

Like you my BMI is hovering between normal and overweight but I want to get it down to the middle of the normal range, I also want to improve my fitness. I do run and go to the gym but I want to commit more and make sure I go several times each week.

Outside of weight loss I want to continue the EMDR, learn to drive, get pregnant, continue to redecorate our house and start to think about what I want to do career wise in the long term.

@supertedious hi! After my 3rd baby I lost 1.5 stone with fast800/blood sugar diet and it really does work. I lost that in 8 weeks I think. Couch to 5k is great too.

@Hopingforno2in2023 I don’t know what it is about school admin but literally everyone I know feels the same. They/we get absolutely no credit for what is actually a very demanding, responsible job. I was broken when I left. I hope you can continue to improve with your EDMR, it sounds like it is having a positive effect.

I also need to get more accountability for the gym and running. I love the classes at my gym but the timings are totally wrong for me some weeks and my membership works out expensive if I don’t do at least 10 a month. This month I’ve done 5 🤦‍♀️

I'd like to placemark and join. I recognised in early autumn that 2023 needs to be about life course corrections. My career just did not pan out the way I thought it would and while Im good at what I do, the hustle to find work in this field is tough and my current job is a dead end. So the first part of the year is focused on retraining in a new area.

Equally I want to slim down after a few hard years of health issues in order to do more activity based holidays. 10kg is my (first) goal, will be doing W30 in Jan (from the 9th) with intermittent fasting to reset taste buds and eating habits, and then swap to W30 during the week/moderation on the weekends from there. May start to throw in 24 hour fasts - W30 tends to make me not hungry after the first four days- as I lose weight quickly when fasting/on minimal calories. Fast800 may work, but I need to break some bad habits first. I already swim and do pilates which help a lot, and will look to join a social sports activity of some kind. DH is on board with everything so that's helpful!

There's other big decisions to be made, but I hope with feeling more confident at work and in myself they will come easily and naturally with time. The above I have first of June targeted for completion!

@TelevisionIcon great to have a whole30 buddy as well, not many people know of it or want to give up so much all in one go! Have you done it before? Jan will be my 4th proper round and I have also done a few half/not quite fully followed rounds. I find it gives me such a clear head and I can get clarity on a lot of things, it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to.

How do you cope with not eating for 24 hours?

I follow 16:8 and find I'm starving by the time I'm due to eat.

@thenewaveragebear1983 Ive attempted it about three times lol - if I can push past day two Im usually golden and can feel the cravings subside. Its such a mental game, though, that I start thinking 'i can fly!' and all of a sudden a little milk in the coffee becomes a low carb wrap becomes a cracker, etc. However, I know now that I need to keep it a) simple and b) do mix and match meals and c) fast easy meal prep on the weekend and maybe a mini-prep for veg halfway through the week. I love Mel Joulwan's Well Fed cookbook/website but those recipes take ages and aren't practical for every day. Also - sauces are key, I found a great list of 7 staples, so may try to make at least one, maybe 2 a week to rotate and keep things fun:
www.theendlessmeal.com/7-staple-whole30-sauces/

@JJ213 Ive also tried 16:8 and while I lost weight on it, I developed a tendency to shovel down ALL the food when breaking my fast, which seemed counter-intuitive. I noticed when doing W30 and I got enough healthy fats in the diet that hunger went away pretty quick and my eating windows naturally got shorter.

@TelevisionIcon thanks for the sauces link, it’s one thing I am rubbish at including, and things like dressings etc for salads. Whenever I do make them I love them.

I also couldn’t do 24 hr fasting but I do definitely find that if I skip breakfast I am generally less hungry and definitely eat more mindfully than if I eat in the morning, and especially if I eat carbs for breakfast. It’s one thing I do struggle with on W30 as most traditional breakfasts are off limits, however I do love a brunch of fried egg, avocado and either mackerel or bacon. I need to start remembering all my old favourites, my eating has seriously nosedived since the summer and all these old faithful recipes have gone by the wayside

So it’s 2023. I weighed in on Wednesday and I was 169lb. Weighed in today at 166- that’s 11st 12? If my target is 23lbs in 2023 from todays weight, that takes me to 143lb, or 10s3. I think that may be a little too low for my frame, but we’ll see how I get on.

we had an amazing NYE and I drank a lot, didn’t really eat excessively but definitely drank at least 1 bottle of wine, and Prosecco and cider and gin 🤦‍♀️ weirdly I don’t actually feel too wretched today and considering my Garmin gave me a sleep score of zero and said I only got 3 hours sleep!

tomorrow is big day 1- I need to do a shop so I’m going to write a list now. I’m going to make smoothies for breakfast with fruit, veg and almond milk; lunches will be homemade soup (saw a nice nigella poached chicken soup that I thought I could adapt) and dinners will be quite simple meat & salad - first week is quite easy to simplify. I’ve booked in a few gym classes and will run as well.

our builder is starting Tuesday which is going to be a bit of a pain but it might encourage me to go out if I’m not working and go for walks.

my job hunting is continuing. A few things have come through over the Christmas break that I would like to apply for and I am going to spend Wednesday tweaking my cv and applying for a few things, plus potentially will have some temp work as well once my dbs comes through.

I feel really optimistic about 2023, 21 and 22 have been really tough years and I really hope 23 brings a bit of respite.

I'm glad this thread is going again! Happy new year everyone.

Couldn't weigh myself this morning as the scales battery needs replacing. But I don't think I have put on much over Christmas so probably starting at 170, very similar to you @thenewaveragebear1983. I've been told I need to lose another 40lb which makes sense as I was probably 125lb for most of my adult life before anti-depressants.

For breakfast I had two boiled eggs and an avocado. I've downloaded an app called 1000 hours outside to get me out with the dog and/or children more.

In non-weight areas, STBXH and I are definitely separating. Still in the same house but things are deteriorating. So my plan for the year is working out how I can possibly get my own mortgage while retraining and doing short-term contracts. Also to finish my studies with high grades, and be a better parent.

Today we took all the decs down and had a good clean, dd went back to uni and we did a big healthy food shop. I need to keep reminding myself that I’m doing W30, really fancied a cup of tea earlier and then I remembered No Milk!! I’m heading out with my friend for a very slow 1st run of the year. My food has been really good, I didn’t eat until lunchtime and then had cold meat, salad, avocado and olives, plus a few pieces of fruit. I have made my w30 mayo which is essential. I didn’t get chance to listen to my hypnosis so I will try and do that this evening, maybe in the bath as I have a lush bath bomb as well!

tonight we’re having a roast chicken, roast potatoes and lots of veggies, and I can portion a few extra meals up, plus I want to make a soup with the chicken bones.

tomorrow I am heading out in the morning to return a cardigan to Jack Wills that mil bought me for Christmas but it’s just so big I can’t really wear it. I am booked on a gym class at 6.20 am as well. Then it will be more getting ready for school stuff. Weds will be my job hunting day, I have 3 applications I want to get in and a few bits of admin to sort.

Solidarity OP! I’m also nearly 40, overweight and underpaid. I actually earn less now than someone newly qualified in my role. I work pt as my kids aren’t both of school age yet, and even then it won’t necessarily be better to go ft. Lucky to be in a position where my DH earns enough to pick up the slack. We have a happy home life and I love my DH very much. He’s very supportive. I would love to look better for us both and to feel healthy. I don’t drink or smoke - my downfall is sugar and portion sizes and the occasional Papa Johns that falls into my mouth! I’m starting Yoga with Adrienne’s 30 day yoga tonight with DH and have splurged on a gym membership.

Can I join in please? I'm not sure what my exact weight is but can hazard a good guess - ideally need to drop about 3 stone but 2 would be an excellent start. Will check the scales tomorrow.

Planning to up the walking and reduce portion sizes/ takeaways as it's easy to keep ordering food when busy. So back to home cooked meals.

Also doing dry Jan to kick off and then I'll stick to weekends only if I want a glass of wine.

I went out looking for batteries for my scales and couldn’t find any anywhere. Not a great start!

sounds like a good day, @thenewaveragebear1983

hello @Snipples and @crimsonpeak 👋

I feel really good today! Isn’t it amazing how a few good days can make all the difference?!
started the day at 6.20 at the gym (my New Year’s resolution aim is 100 sessions this year)
came home, ironed all the kids uniforms, did some housework although tbh I couldn’t be bothered to do too much as we have builders coming tomorrow and they will be chucking dust around.
i ate chicken leftover roast meat and a fruit smoothie with chia, matcha, almond milk and frozen berries and banana, then for lunch i had a leftover roast dinner. Made a chicken broth and veg soup I’m my slow cooker which is really tasty (had a bowl to keep me going as it’s ds’s football tonight) and have a bolognese ready for dinner- dh will have pasta and I will have salad.
I listened to my hypno- felt wide awake for almost all of the relaxation bit and then must have totally zoned out for the actual hypno bit as I have no idea what he said!

on the job front, I spent several hours applying for a post at Barclays and within an hour got an invite to 2nd stage, which is an online assessment. I don’t doubt this is because I have hit enough key words in my application to be picked up by the computer screening but still, it’s a positive! I also got a call about some temp school receptionist work at a local school, which I am going to speak to them about tomorrow and will hopefully start on Friday.

I feel really enthused and positive! Great start to the year!

how is everyone else getting on?