BMI of 41.8. I’m so ashamed.

[Cuthbertsrevenge]

11 weeks postpartum. Second baby. Weigh more now than I did a week after having the baby.

I can’t stop eating. I hate myself. I obsess about my weight every single day and have done for about a decade. I used to be a size 10. Now I’m a whale.

What can I do? I tried to talk to the GP about it yesterday but she wasn’t easy to talk to and I couldn’t explain myself well.

I am an intelligent, successful woman with two beautiful children and a great husband. I love cooking and I love healthy food. I know how to eat healthily and when I am not obese I even enjoy exercise.

I can’t stop eating sugar. Sugar all day every day. I binge on it. I hide wrappers. I go out of my way to go to certain shops to get the chocolate biscuits that I like the most. I eat two full packs in a day.

I am so mortified. I don’t recognise myself. How do I stop? Who can help me? I’m desperate.

Your hormones are also all over the place and you're craving sugar because you're knackered.

Intermittent fasting changed my eating habits because it meant I could still eat what I wanted, I just had to wait longer to eat it which worked. Try that, you will likely find that as your body adjusts that you'll stop craving it as much.

Enjoy your baby though, it will be ok.

OP try to stop beating yourself up about this.
I wonder if you can make an attempt to try intermittent fasting for three days?
Give it a go. Weigh yourself the day before you start, and weigh yourself on the fourth day. You'll be amazed by how much you lose.
Then you can try to do it for longer.

You could also try Orlistat. Come and join us on the Orlistat thread. You'd be very welcome. There are women there about your size. Don't be ashamed.

Be kind to yourself. You’ve not long had a baby . My guess is you are craving sugar because you are tired.

Sugar is a short term fix and makes you more tired in the long run and so you crave more.

You can download the NHS app Weight Loss. Keep a food diary , it will make you accountable to yourself and try to cut down . And if you have a bad day, don’t stress over it. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to start again.

Good luck

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4758894-orlistat

Eating low carb changes my life. I was addicted to sugar but broke free from it. I lost 8 stone.

I dont eat low carb now but I'm no longer controlled by sugar.

My personal, unscientific feeling is that sugar addiction is a bit like a cigarette or drink addiction in how it works. The behaviours are similar, aren't they? Cravings, self destructive behaviour, the "high" from a "hit". But you know this already, I suppose.

I've lost a lot myself but if I said how, you'd probably know all the ways already yourself.

The thing is a point has to come where we decide enough is enough, plus when that point comes the situation and circumstances need to be there for us to be able to make the changes.

Something happened in my life and I realised just how awful things had got, I couldn't take being that weight any more. It was ruining my life, plus I had the ability change it at that time.

It’s a total sugar addiction that I’ve had for years but has become worse and worse. During night feeds (formula, not BF) I think about the chocolate I’m going to eat for breakfast. The desire to eat more and more chocolate is getting stronger and stronger.

I desperately want to change but have no will power. I’m completely powerless against sugar. It rules my life.

@violetcuriosity I’ve done IF before and really enjoyed it. The trouble is I think at the moment my sugar addiction is so strong I would just binge during the eating windows.

@TheShellBeach I looked into orlistat but it terrifies me, but I might book in with a different GP to discuss.

I’ll have a look for that app @fortifiedwithtea

@tothelefttotheleft how did you overcome sugar addiction?

@waistchallenge you’ve hit the nail on the head with your post really. My mother is actually an alcoholic so I have a lot of first hand experience with addiction. As you say often it’s a case of situations and circumstances coinciding with a rock bottom or health scare etc

No advice, but there are plenty of people on YouTube healing their relationships with food.

https://www.youtube.com/@SierraAnn

A great YouTube channel in my opinion. She is authentic and kind.

What frightens you about Orlistat?
I haven't had any side effects.

It’s time to get serious about having a binge eating disorder. It doesnt have to be complicated to fix, but you need to deal with it like any other illness - treat it.

I can really recommend:

• having a good think about what happens when you binge and what practical steps can you do to avoid it?

• what happened when you made a bad food decision, what do you need in place to make food decisions?

• when did you make a good decision? How can you celebrate that and replicate it?

Secondly get into books, podcasts, YouTube on binge eating. Podcasts particularly are an easy thing to listen to last thing at night or whilst doing another activity that can fill you with practical ways to prevent bingeing.

I really recommend brain over binge and progress not perfection with Allen Standing. They are very accessible resources.

Ditch the Diets book has also been hugely impactful.

Finally there are lots of wonderful accountability threads around here.
There are lots of us there working the BED or setting goals to help us reign in mindless eating. Having someone who cares about how you are at the end of the day is amazing.

Have you tried weight training? It worked for me, I think it was because it wasn't punitive - I felt like I was trying to gain something (strength) rather than lose something (fat). And then I lost the fat as a byproduct.

Thank you @iamenougheveryday I will take a look at YouTube

@TheShellBeach I am worried that I will still eat junk when taking it and pay the price on the toilet. Basically I’m worried it won’t scare me enough into following a low fat diet because that is how weak I feel at the moment, mentally.

@Headchecked thank you. I started listening to brain over binge podcasts a few months ago but stopped. It’s clear I have an eating disorder isn’t it. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed.

@FirstLaburnum yes I had a personal trainer between 2020 and 2022 and we did a lot of strength training, but as is often the case whenever I try anything, the novelty eventually wore off and I gave up. Something to consider though, but maybe a different format eg CrossFit, working out at home etc.

Would you go for weight loss injections OP. Probably not suitable if you’re breast feeding but once you decide to stop?

Do you think your husband can/will support you in this?

About the sugar, I was a bit all or nothing in my approach-i.e. nothing- but partly because of fear about imminent diabetes. How do you think you would approach it?

Have a look at Broccoli_mum on Instagram and YouTube. She eats high starch, low calorie density, high volume food and lost 60lbs after having her second child. I think you might find her helpful! Good luck!

Try to shift the feeling away from shame to concerned self-compassion. Shame won't do anything except have you reach for more sugar. It's a really cruel emotion.

Try just observing the addiction for a day or two without trying to control it. tell yourself, I can have as much sugar as I want but while i am eating it, I I will also make a note in a notebook or on my phone, about the circumstances of the craving - just a little physical and emotional check up - am I exhausted? Tearful? feeling like everyone's needs are met by me but mine are met by no one except chocolate? Am I thirsty? (Breast feeding is really thirsty work)

And also make a note of how you feel during and after eating it. Do you get a little rush of bliss - a feelgood buzz? Some energy? Can you think of anything else at all that gives you a similar buzz without being as harmful to your health? An espresso for a quick fix of energy if you have been up with the baby? A pint of iced water with fresh mint and lime if you are fuzzy headed from dehydration or a big mug of spicy apple fruit tea if you feel chilled. A favourite upbeat song or 5 mins clip of a favourite comedian on youtube if your spirits are a bit low. Some squats and high kicks if you are feeling lethargic. Try doing one or two of these first, while promising yourself you can still have chocolate but you are also checking in with what your body needs as well as what it wants.

Low carb

High fat

You just have to do it

You don’t have to be ashamed @Cuthbertsrevenge. sugar is designed to be addictive, motherhood is so hard and exhausting and shifting our lives can feel like an insurmountable tasks.

it’s amazing you’ve written this thread, how you’ve advocated for yourself on this thread to make change.

Change will come when you can get rid of the shame - it’s not yours, it’s all about others and what other people think - leave the shame behind and make choices because you love yourself and you love your family and you want to make loving choices for yourself and them.

You are so worthy. You deserve to be free of shame and full of joy. You can, and you will, do it.

@op

Doing this broke my sugar addiction.

I deal the same just under stress choosing sugar and fat it’s not great

I understand your sugar addiction because I feel that way often. I have recently found the importance of eating a lot of protein at meals..I sometimes feel so full I feel cheated that I can’t eat as much sweet stuff. It might be worth trying plus don’t buy chocolate..have a jar of chocolate spread and eat small amounts when you are desperate for chocolate.

You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. I think you need to cut yourself some slack - you've just had a baby!
I would assume at eleven weeks postpartum, you're probably still in the 'dark days' (as I called them) and literally all over the place, just trying to get through.
How old is your eldest?
What else are you dealing with in your day to day life?
Are you planning on taking full maternity leave?
What support do you have?
Nothing is black and white - I get the feeling you've got a lot on your plate x

Please, please, don't feel ashamed. Your body has made and is still supporting a new human being. That's amazing.

You can and will find yourself again and there is some good advice here. Good luck.

Would you go for acupuncture? My hormones were unbalanced and I craved sugar and getting acupuncture really helped me get a grip on myself. £60 where I am. The professional body has a site that lists all your local practitioners. And it’s not messing with pills and potions so it feels more natural.

hugs and 💐to you OP.

Congratulations on your new baby. I relate so much to everything you’ve (so courageously) shared. I’m a good number of months postpartum and have felt like the only mum in my circle gaining weight rather than losing it. I’ve also had an insatiable craving for sugar and regularly inhaled family bars of chocolate in the early days.

I have no advice on weight loss as I haven’t prioritised it yet, but something that helped change my eating patterns - and consequently helped me stabilise my weight - was learning how to be more compassionate to myself. Google Dr Kristin Neff self-compassion practices and her TED talk. There’s a lot of evidence that treating ourselves with compassion instead of criticising ourselves is actually far more motivating and effective at tackling what we might call ‘maladaptive’ coping mechanisms/motivational strategies such as shame or guilt.

Probably more importantly as PP have said - you’ve only just had a baby, still in the fourth trimester, sleep deprived, probably on subconscious high alert because you’ve got a newborn, and are being pulled in many different directions. If you’re comforting and caring for everyone else and the only thing comforting you is chocolate, who else can step in to help?

You are amazing, strong, beautiful and YOU matter too. I really do know the pain you’re describing, the yearning to be the size I was, the judgement towards my body and myself. What has helped most - and I’m sure will help with my weight loss journey when it really is the right time to start has been compassion. I hope you can find some for yourself too.

Go well x