How do I stop eating when I've got 2 under 3?

[Brunette1901]

Honestly, I feel like I've got some sort split personality. I've got all the intentions of losing weight, the right mindset, the willpower, the right meal plan, but I don't even get past 7am and I've already eaten the kids breakfast leftovers or a biscuit with my coffee because it's just one biscuit right? I've got a DD who is 3 (she has a sensory disorder so it is literally only beige food that she likes, the worst kind of food when you're trying to lose weight I know) and a DS who is 18 months so there's snacks of plenty in my house. It's the summer holidays so I've been stocking up on the crisps and the biscuits (DS is a late teether so if I don't have any ginger biscuits in the house you best believe it's meltdown city!) and while I've put a stop to the sweet two weeks ago (as in no sweets in my house at all because I would just graze throughout the day) I can't stop the crisps and biscuits. And I'm sure that wouldn't even stop me if they weren't here either. I'd then move on to the cheese, or the crackers, or anything which I can just pick at.

DH is the same. Whenever we both go into the kitchen (to make the kids a drink, or put away their dirty plates, or do the washing, etc etc etc) we automatically both walk to the fridge and pantry that is right beside it, open both the doors and stare and stare and stare until we've found something that will satisfy us. I once ate nearly a whole packet of biscuits in a row without even thinking about it because that is how many times I had to keep going back and forth into the kitchen and living room in frequent succession. I'm embarrassed to admit it but like I said, it's like I've developed some sort of split personality disorder. I don't even know I'm doing it until it's over. It's the worst habit I've ever developed and I'm so ashamed to admit it. Typing this out I know how ridiculous I sound.

I should note that I've got OCD. Fortunately, I don't think this ritual of always eating something every time I go into the kitchen is apart of that, because I don't have any triggering or negative thoughts around this if I don't do it. I just go into autopilot, but I do think my repetitive nature from having OCD may have lead to this bad habit developing over the years. I also can't move the snacks from the pantry or the fridge because well, they belong in the pantry and the fridge. I can't exactly have bags of sugar in my bedside table or cheese in the airing cupboard.

So I don't know really know what I'm looking for in posting this. Perhaps I simply just wanted to admit out loud into the public domain that I've got this issue so I can start to face it head on? Or maybe for someone to tell me I have a problem and it's not normal and I should go and get help? I'm not sure. Any advice will be appreciated though!

And what were you and your dh like before having children?

Maybe you need to start getting your children healthier snacks

and the sensory disorder you mention… have you diagnosed this?

It's the summer holidays so I've been stocking up on the crisps and the biscuits (DS is a late teether so if I don't have any ginger biscuits in the house you best believe it's meltdown city!)

he is 18 months op
he shouldn’t be guzzling sugar laden biscuits on a regular basis

I think you need to look very carefully at the entire family’s diet and all the snacks and junk you’re buying for your very young children

Also give yourself that third personality! The hyper fit/ slim mum that you are, who simple doesn’t eat leftovers of any kind, let alone those of the kids, as it would ruin that super perfect bod of yours which everyone is soooo envious of!

We were good. Had gym memberships. We live by the coast and the beach is only a 10 minute walk away so we would take long walks down the beach, walk into town, walk to the supermarkets etc. DH is still quite active, he walks during his lunch break and eats at his desk, so he's still getting some exercise. I go for walks with my kids but DD is soooooo slow that it's not really vigorous enough for me to be gaining any real benefit from it, plus we only walk a fraction of what I used to manage happily.

DD is up from around 5am - 7.30pm so by the time I've finished for the day, I'm too exhausted to go to the gym or feel comfortable going out for a walk around my neighbourhood around those times. I know it's an excuse and a bad one! Wish it was just easy. Before I go just go to the gym now I've got to schedule in the time and get flustered when I can't go at 7.30pm because DD is playing up or whatever so I've stopped trying.

I could do exercise videos, but with two toddlers playing around my feet and several accidental knock downs and myself falling over, I don't bother with that anymore either. Pathetic, I know.

I think if you get your children healthier snacks it would be easier for you to not use this as an excuse. You need to be setting a good example for your children and if they are that young and they are given so many foods with no nutritional value then you are setting them up for failure into their future.

That type of food is convenient and cheap because it is no good, it gets you hooked so you feel like you can't do without it and you end up eating more and more.

You can do this, at the end of thr day, you are the one doing the shopping so you can make the changes.

Hope it works out well for you.

yes, she's been diagnosed with HV and paediatrician. She's got stomach problems so it all comes from this unfortunately.

Can you have a drink or a satsuma when you go in the kitchen not a biscuit?

I don't really get why you need biscuits in the house. Do you mean your kids don't eat fruit etc? I'm not judging as my son is autistic and has a very limited diet but I never eat his foods. He eats those oatix snacks and rice cakes etc - they are low calorie if you really can't stop

I think you are right about the kids eating healthier snacks. Budgets are tight but I'll sit down with DH and see what we can change around. It's hard with my DD because she literally eats only 15-20 things and the HV advised to give her whatever we can just so she is eating as she will literally not eat, but maybe I just get her a special cupboard somewhere else in the house? I don't know. Feels like I'm making an excuse here too, I know.

What’s HV?

What disorder means she can only eat biscuits and crisps?

I think you are right about the kids eating healthier snacks

we are! You don’t give an 18 month old endless ginger biscuits to deal with teething

Do you eat proper meals? I'm at home all the time with my son who is disabled but I just eat 3 meals I don't snack. What do you actually eat?

Do either : both go to nursery?

Oh yeah we have lots of fruit. Bananas, blueberries, apples and oranges are always stocked sometimes we'll have strawberries and other fruits but these are the staples. I just always seem to go for the sugary stuff rather than the healthier stuff. This is very eye opening though. Also, just wanted to say my son has a better palette than me and there's very little I don't like. We regularly have salads and healthy dinners, breakfasts etc, it's just all the snacking which is the problem.

She has a sensory disorder. So won't touch anything cold, or wet, or crumbly. She only eats her "trusted" foods. We tried for 3 months at the nursery to give her hot dinners (think eating the same foods as the other children would help) but she refused to eat. She went the whole day without eating a single thing (HV and the nursery pushed for this, but in the end I had to say this is enough because she's not eating anything). When she was 6 month olds and we started to introduce foods, we did a mixture of BLW and purees. She was my first child too so lots of messy play, rice, playdoh, shaving foam, sand pit etc and she would just gag and heave or freak out if she would get dirty. It's been like that ever since. I know I have OCD but I didn't get diagnosed until after my son was born, my therapist believes I developed it once I had him not before so I can't even say she got it from me.

DD does but DS doesn't.

Did the HV or a paediatrician diagnose a sensory disorder

because at such a young age - I really can’t fathom a paediatrician would be diagnosing a seaport disorder (I work in this field).

she sounds like a picky eater who’s been allowed a lot of junk from a young age

I understand what you are saying. It all started when she was 18 months and had stool samples sent it for an illness where she was flagged for either IBS or coeliac disease and it all stemmed from there. Several appointments and visits later and they've come to this diagnoses. I also agree with giving her junk food, but just because I eat it in large quantities does not mean my kids too. We did BLW and puree's when she was a baby and I've got trays of "healthy food platters" out each day so she can explore if she ever feels like she wants to. I've always offered healthy foods but after years of seeing her make herself sick or going hungry, I've stopped forcing her.

What are her trusted foods? I would take a look through these, identify if any are healthy and focus on these. Then look at whether there are any healthy foods with similar characteristics (texture, taste, colour) that you can sub in as replacements for the others.

As a parent of a very fussy eater I find introducing new foods is best when LO is distracted (watching something on TV etc) and by cutting them up into micro portions and first thing in the day when LO is hungry and not tired. After they have been tried 8 or so times they can then be incorporated into a regular meal.

I think there's a couple of things you can do

1. stop buying all the shit snacks. You don't need it and the kids don't. Buy a few that they'll eat etc or buy the snack size versions.

2. meal prep or use the slow cooker etc. I know it's tough but just make more portions of dinner so you have lunch for the next day etc. it'll save you time, money and energy in the long run.

3. stop excusing yourself from the gym / walks. I promise you when you're back into it you'll feel better. Just getting there is the start.

I have a 3 year old and a 6m old and between my partner and I we've got a little 'routine' going to make sure we stay on track with food and exercise.

He goes to the gym before work so he has to get up early. I get up with the kids (currently at 4:45am from my youngest 🫠) and then I go to the gym either whilst my partner puts the kids to bed, or later on. I can't expect him to put them to bed 5 nights a week so I tend to put the baby down to bed and then go.

Some days I really cba but I know it's better for my mental and physical health to go. Plus when you are exercising you're less likely to eat that shit so you don't undo your hard work.

One step at a time though. Start with tackling the food or something and then work your way up to getting out more and then the gym etc. good luck, you can do it!

I’m not clear

so a paediatrician has diagnosed an3 year old with a secondary disorder around food?

Thank you for all your messages but feel like this thread has just made me feel worse and focused on judging me for how I've raised my kids rather than me asking for help with my eating habits. I didn't go into detail about the foods I offer my kids because I didn't feel like the post was about them but about me and what I eat. Just because I have mentioned crisps and biscuits etc doesn't mean that is all my kids survive on just because I do. My OCD is all around perfectionism so I make sure my kids get their 5 a day and do everything I can to be my interpretation of the "perfect" mum. And DS doesn't just live off of biscuits, it's just when he is teething and he'll perhaps have maybe 1-2 during a particularly bad episode and what baby is teething all the time? I'm going to stop justifying myself now because I feel like this is going to start tuning into something I really don't want it to be. Thank you again but consider this thread closed.

all we’re saying is that the entire family’s diet needs to be addressed

all the best