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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

How do I stop eating when I've got 2 under 3?

33 replies

Brunette1901 · 22/08/2023 11:18

Honestly, I feel like I've got some sort split personality. I've got all the intentions of losing weight, the right mindset, the willpower, the right meal plan, but I don't even get past 7am and I've already eaten the kids breakfast leftovers or a biscuit with my coffee because it's just one biscuit right? I've got a DD who is 3 (she has a sensory disorder so it is literally only beige food that she likes, the worst kind of food when you're trying to lose weight I know) and a DS who is 18 months so there's snacks of plenty in my house. It's the summer holidays so I've been stocking up on the crisps and the biscuits (DS is a late teether so if I don't have any ginger biscuits in the house you best believe it's meltdown city!) and while I've put a stop to the sweet two weeks ago (as in no sweets in my house at all because I would just graze throughout the day) I can't stop the crisps and biscuits. And I'm sure that wouldn't even stop me if they weren't here either. I'd then move on to the cheese, or the crackers, or anything which I can just pick at.

DH is the same. Whenever we both go into the kitchen (to make the kids a drink, or put away their dirty plates, or do the washing, etc etc etc) we automatically both walk to the fridge and pantry that is right beside it, open both the doors and stare and stare and stare until we've found something that will satisfy us. I once ate nearly a whole packet of biscuits in a row without even thinking about it because that is how many times I had to keep going back and forth into the kitchen and living room in frequent succession. I'm embarrassed to admit it but like I said, it's like I've developed some sort of split personality disorder. I don't even know I'm doing it until it's over. It's the worst habit I've ever developed and I'm so ashamed to admit it. Typing this out I know how ridiculous I sound.

I should note that I've got OCD. Fortunately, I don't think this ritual of always eating something every time I go into the kitchen is apart of that, because I don't have any triggering or negative thoughts around this if I don't do it. I just go into autopilot, but I do think my repetitive nature from having OCD may have lead to this bad habit developing over the years. I also can't move the snacks from the pantry or the fridge because well, they belong in the pantry and the fridge. I can't exactly have bags of sugar in my bedside table or cheese in the airing cupboard.

So I don't know really know what I'm looking for in posting this. Perhaps I simply just wanted to admit out loud into the public domain that I've got this issue so I can start to face it head on? Or maybe for someone to tell me I have a problem and it's not normal and I should go and get help? I'm not sure. Any advice will be appreciated though!

OP posts:
Flipflipmania · 22/08/2023 12:06

And if a HV diagnosed only - then take with a pinch of salt

febbabies2023 · 22/08/2023 12:09

Brunette1901 · 22/08/2023 12:01

Thank you for all your messages but feel like this thread has just made me feel worse and focused on judging me for how I've raised my kids rather than me asking for help with my eating habits. I didn't go into detail about the foods I offer my kids because I didn't feel like the post was about them but about me and what I eat. Just because I have mentioned crisps and biscuits etc doesn't mean that is all my kids survive on just because I do. My OCD is all around perfectionism so I make sure my kids get their 5 a day and do everything I can to be my interpretation of the "perfect" mum. And DS doesn't just live off of biscuits, it's just when he is teething and he'll perhaps have maybe 1-2 during a particularly bad episode and what baby is teething all the time? I'm going to stop justifying myself now because I feel like this is going to start tuning into something I really don't want it to be. Thank you again but consider this thread closed.

I don't think anyone was intentionally trying to make you feel shitty or judged. I think they're just trying to help

And generally if you want to lose weight etc a big part of your problem as you've openly said is eating the kids food etc so it's just a way to help you manage.

I hope you're okay, it certainly wasn't my intention to make you feel judged about your parenting. You just have to get through the day when you've got small kids I know

Littlemissprosecco · 22/08/2023 12:10

That’s why I posted a silly supportive post earlier!
ignore the others op, I’m sure you’re doing a great job. You need to find a little motivation for you, it’s hard, but sometimes pretending to be someone you’re not, helps. Fake it til you make it. Look back to my first post . Good luck

MolkosTeenageAngst · 22/08/2023 12:12

Brunette1901 · 22/08/2023 11:18

Honestly, I feel like I've got some sort split personality. I've got all the intentions of losing weight, the right mindset, the willpower, the right meal plan, but I don't even get past 7am and I've already eaten the kids breakfast leftovers or a biscuit with my coffee because it's just one biscuit right? I've got a DD who is 3 (she has a sensory disorder so it is literally only beige food that she likes, the worst kind of food when you're trying to lose weight I know) and a DS who is 18 months so there's snacks of plenty in my house. It's the summer holidays so I've been stocking up on the crisps and the biscuits (DS is a late teether so if I don't have any ginger biscuits in the house you best believe it's meltdown city!) and while I've put a stop to the sweet two weeks ago (as in no sweets in my house at all because I would just graze throughout the day) I can't stop the crisps and biscuits. And I'm sure that wouldn't even stop me if they weren't here either. I'd then move on to the cheese, or the crackers, or anything which I can just pick at.

DH is the same. Whenever we both go into the kitchen (to make the kids a drink, or put away their dirty plates, or do the washing, etc etc etc) we automatically both walk to the fridge and pantry that is right beside it, open both the doors and stare and stare and stare until we've found something that will satisfy us. I once ate nearly a whole packet of biscuits in a row without even thinking about it because that is how many times I had to keep going back and forth into the kitchen and living room in frequent succession. I'm embarrassed to admit it but like I said, it's like I've developed some sort of split personality disorder. I don't even know I'm doing it until it's over. It's the worst habit I've ever developed and I'm so ashamed to admit it. Typing this out I know how ridiculous I sound.

I should note that I've got OCD. Fortunately, I don't think this ritual of always eating something every time I go into the kitchen is apart of that, because I don't have any triggering or negative thoughts around this if I don't do it. I just go into autopilot, but I do think my repetitive nature from having OCD may have lead to this bad habit developing over the years. I also can't move the snacks from the pantry or the fridge because well, they belong in the pantry and the fridge. I can't exactly have bags of sugar in my bedside table or cheese in the airing cupboard.

So I don't know really know what I'm looking for in posting this. Perhaps I simply just wanted to admit out loud into the public domain that I've got this issue so I can start to face it head on? Or maybe for someone to tell me I have a problem and it's not normal and I should go and get help? I'm not sure. Any advice will be appreciated though!

I think if you are stuck in habits then you need to do something to shake up the habits and snap you out of autopilot. Putting your DD’s snacks in her own cupboard is a good place to start, maybe buy less of them as well so you know that you can’t just grab a packet of crisps or some of her crackers because then there won’t be any left for her. You could decant things like ginger biscuits for your son out of the packet and put them into a child’s lunchbox or similar to reinforce the idea that they are his and not for you. Often breaking the habit when you’re on autopilot is about making something seem out of place enough that it snaps your mind out of autopilot and brings it into the present and gives you opportunity to reassess what you’re doing and whether you want to do it.

I would also look at moving things around in the fridge. Maybe have a lidded box in there with all of the children’s snacks in there, out of sight is often out of mind so if they are kept separately from everything else it will be easier to avoid them. If you have time make yourself some accessible healthy snacks as well, pre-prepare some Tupperware boxes or sandwich bags of carrot/ cucumber sticks, chopped fruit etc for you to grab at those times when you are gazing into the fridge looking for something to eat. Often we grab convenience foods because it’s easier to grab a bag of crisps than chop up some melon but if the healthy foods are pre-prepared you’re more likely to go for them.

Ibizafun · 22/08/2023 13:24

I've got two over 23 and I'm still eating...

ZickZack · 23/08/2023 17:24

Op, the majority of people are just trying to help. You mention your DD has problems with food and it's been diagnosed. That's fair enough
But your 18 month old son doesn't need so many ginger biscuits that he has meltdowns for them if he doesn't get them. In this situation, I'd stop them completely and give him alternatives. It will be hard at first but he'll get used to it.

Could you keep other snacks hidden away / locked away? So that you would need to physically do more to get to them. This might help you stop the automatic action of getting it and eating it.
After I had my second son, I used to eat packs of Oreos In a day. It was ridiculous. I had to put a ban on them and now I just don't buy them. Are there any snacks you have have in smaller quantities that don't make you want to binge? (I switched to digestives as I will only have 2 with a coffee and have no desire to go back and get more)

Gardenermum89 · 17/10/2023 09:27

Hey OP, sounds like you are getting a battering about how you parent- what a surprise. Don’t worry too much- sounds like you are doing your best with tricky eaters- I don’t know a non Fussy toddler plus if she has some extra health issues it must be a nightmare. From what I can see it’s motivation you are struggling with- and it’s so tough when you have others to look after. I always struggle to start my week of exercise so I start with something I don’t have to get changed for- so Pilates. Takes some of the barriers away. Also I get up and put on gym clothes even if I don’t train until the evening it takes away the ‘I have to get ready element’ you can literally Chuck the kids in bed and bam into a workout. Start small- I started with having a strict bedtime so I am well rested and then I went into drinking more water to 1 workout a week to then adding a second and so on. I’m terrible around the kids food so I just set my self to not eating their leftovers this week. Changing habits it hard so give yourself some grace and patience and ignore what others are saying about your kids food- we all end up eating McDonald’s off the floor in our 20’s. You aren’t stupid you know what your kids need- they will be fine x

stayathomer · 17/10/2023 09:34

First off, yes it’s so hard when they’re that young and it is a case of just trying to get yourself through the day BUT sometimes that means stuffing yourself with too much healthy stuff- eg constant apples or grapes. Cereal used to be my thing too, put less in the bowl and then you won’t be finishing a big bowl so that you’re not binning it. And use the bin, you don’t have to be the bin- when my kids used to arrive home from school without finishing their sandwiches I’d eat them so they weren’t binned but that’s the same thing! It was disgusting! Best of luck op and do try to see this thread as people trying to help- we’ve all been there, it’s not judging you at all

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