Overeater getting in control!

[Atalanta1]

I’ve finally admitted to myself in my late forties that I am an overeater who compulsively eats. I’m addicted and get no pleasure from binging but it’s got worse and worse like any other addiction. Daily overeating and consequent emotional distress. Reading the recommended books and looking at OA (cannot attend meetings as live so rurally) it looks like I need to abstain. Hard when you have to eat food to survive!

So the weight loss goals (5 stones to lose) need to take a back seat to learning to control eating, complete abstinence from overeating by being strict with portion size and snacking control. I did manage five years ago to become teetotal as the urge to drink alcohol wasn’t nice even though I didn’t actually drink much (very addictive genes and alcoholic father made me always watch drink/not take any drugs) so I know it’s possible.

Started this thread as a space to list food plan and musings…both recommended. Would love if others commented as harder to battle alone. Today is Day 3 of abstaining from overeating.
B - Porridge
L - Fast 800 meal replacement shake I have left from (v) failed diet attempt.
D - Lentil and vegetable stew with quinoa.

A banana smoothie if I’m struggling at any point. Lots of water and tea. And probably a cry at some point as period due and this is hard and feelings are in turmoil, a lifelong addiction is hard to break.

The book and podcast Brain Over Binge was a massive help to me in overcoming decades of binge eating and yo yo dieting.

Make sure you're not spiking your blood sugar with that banana smoothie and then feeling more hungry. A snack like an oatcake with peanut butter or an apple with a few nuts might be more sustaining.

Sending a hug your way, as I know how hard this is.

I never dreamed I'd be free of obsessive thoughts about food, compulsions to binge and not being able to have certain foods in the house. But I've been a healthy weight for 8 years now and eat like a "normal person" (if you know what I mean?!)

Thankyou @CanYouReachThem that's very useful. I have Dr Fairburn’s Overcoming Binge Eating and I’ll get Brain over Binge too. Anything that may help! If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it take you to actually feel more in control?

I need to go shopping hence the banana smoothie idea (which I managed without) as there’s really not much in, but we generally have tonnes of oatcakes - I’m also slightly wary of having them at the minute as I feel I may have far too many. Same with nuts.

Today has been okay overall, but time dragged after lunch when it was still 4 hours till my next meal and I was tired from how busy I’d been in the morning…I actually had a small afternoon nap which is very unlike me. Tomorrow I’ve a 45min drive to our nearest swimming pool for a family session, then a trip to doctor with DP to get his first pneumococcal vaccine, then I promised DD we’d make chocolate muffins. I definitely won’t have time to clock watch for meals!

Tomorrow’s B - porridge & berries
L - Fast 800 shake
D - oven baked mackerel (caught by DD) and ratatouille
S if needed - tuna salad

I have been doing this. The game changer for me was changing up my porridge of milk, water and oats with blueberries into
Oats (about 2/3s usual amount) with ground flaxseed, and chia seeds, couple of walnuts. No milk instead cashew milk and water. With blueberries. So so much fuller! Occasionally have a boiled egg too.

That sounds a delicious porridge @smilesup! I do think I need more filling up first thing for a while. I used to make flaxseed bread about a decade ago, I wonder if I still have the recipe - it was filling and tasty and would probably really help curb any temptation to overeat toast unlike the ultra processed breads.

I am not sure meal replacement shakes are sustainable, as you want to retrain your body into healthy eating habits. They are a quick fix really to loose weight, so contrary to what your objective is.

for me low carb works. It reduces my hunger levels and the need or desire to snack. In addition you can then slowly reintroduce higher levels of carbs to maintain. I find it very easy to do and do not feel deprived, and once I am fat adapted, I have a lot of energy.

@Atalanta1 it's difficult to pinpoint a timeline. It was a process of totally rethinking how I feel about food. I was deeply entrenched in binge-restricting cycles.

The Brain Over Binge podcast is free and a really useful listen. Go right back to the beginning of the series.

You need to move away from the wariness and fear around food. The anxiety of overeating oatcakes or nuts. It will take time but you honestly can do it.

Cutting out food groups is just another form of restriction. It all comes down to restriction in the end. This is what drives the compulsion to binge/overeat.

@Atalanta1 just to add, the feeling I have now around food/eating is not one of control. It's peace.

Look you need to do keto. Honestly. It’s the one thing that gets my eating in control. One thing about limiting carbs absolutely chips the legs off your hunger. I’ve had binge eating issues all my life and it’s the only thing that’s sorted me out. And it’s really liberating not thinking about food every two minutes as well. Do keto.

I'm not sure posting on weight loss will be helpful long term. It sounds like binge eating is a mental issue for you. Especially with previous alcohol over consumption. I think you need to focus less on what you eat and more on the psychology of why you overeat.

That is what helped me. Long story short my marriage has recently ended and I haven't binged once since. I was unhappy in my relationship and eating all those emotions. Ex is an alcohol and has also stopped drinking since he left. So it shows that the relationship was toxic for both of us TBH.

If you do want something to fill you up, those protein yogurts (the Arla and Kvarg ones) are great.

I personally cannot do low carb or keto. I know they work with weight loss, I lost 10 stone a decade ago with low carb. I thought it was brilliant. However, since then I have had gallbladder issues and pancreatitis and the pain was unbelievable. Low carb also enabled me to continue with humongous servings as it worked as long as it was protein/low carb veg…it didn’t help my psyche as the overeating was still there just done differently.

No, I don’t like meal replacement shakes but they are portion controlled which I thought helpful this first week. My overeating has caused me to put 5 stone on in less than a year, I need to finally accept it and deal with it. Even one day of sensible eating seemed completely impossible, now I’ve done four.

I’ve ordered some flaxseed, looking forward to that coming, and feel less tired than yesterday afternoon which is good. Kids baking wasn’t an issue either, I want long term peace with myself more than chocolate!

@Thebluecurtains thanks for your post, definitely thought-provoking.

I have suffered binge eating for years and years and I pretty much have it under control now. Two things that have worked for me are:
-Being able to have unlimited amounts of veg available as I can get really hungry
Intermittent fasting- most of the time, I only have black coffee before 12pm. Not eating in the morning or after about 8.30 pm works really well for me. If I eat in the morning, I am starving all day and don't stop eating.
Good luck

Thank you @Bigminnie1 I’m glad you manage to control yours.

Placemarking as I have very similar issues and desperate to get better.
I restrict, lose weight then binge, hate myself and then binge more.
I've read brain over binge and listened to the podcasts, I've read loads of books. Nothings helped.

One if the main messages in Brain over Binge is to make sure you are getting adequate nutrition (eating enough filling food). It's very hard to stop bingeing when you're hungry. The lentil stew sounds good. The filling porridge another poster gave the recipe for sounds lovely. And the mackerel salad was a good idea. I totally understand the panic and wanting to lose weight fast but if you're not starving this will be easier.
I personally wouldn't recommend OA, having been myself. You have to say you are powerless, hand all your decisions over to God and write down a big list of why you are an awful person. Nothing helpful about how to stop overeating.

You are, in fact, powerful and in control of your body and muscles. That means you can decide at any time before or during a binge to close the fridge, put down the food and walk away. Or stop lifting it up to your mouth. No one can make you put food in your mouth and it sounds like you don't want to overeat any more so you don't have to.

@Atalanta1

Any chance of the recipe for Lentil and vegetable stew with quinoa please? Sounds super healthy

@Isuckatthis78 I’m sorry to hear you have struggled with this too. I’m trying to focus on stopping the underlying hating of myself, letting myself actually be proud of what I have achieved rather than feeling useless/ugly/a failure etc. Day 4 is over and I am so proud, no overeating.

@Poppybetty yes, far easier not hungry! I really enjoyed my mackerel salad, and felt full and content after - much nicer than what I would feel after junk food. I’m sat here tonight not at all hungry and not feeling at all restricted. I know those will come back, and often, but each time I can choose this.

@RedDoughnut yep, I made it up as I went along but it was simple, tasty and filling.
1 tin chopped tomatoes, 1 beef stock cube, 2 onions, 3 medium mushrooms, some garlic, some lettuce leaves, 1 portion of red lentils already cooked, 1 portion of quinoa already cooked. Fry the onion & garlic, add the chopped tomatoes and stock cube and simmer so it starts reducing, add boiling water if it gets too thick too quickly, add the lentils, quinoa, lettuce and mushrooms and cook for a further couple of minutes till they are wilted. This base can have Italian style herbs added, or smoked paprika, anything really, but it was comforting just cooked down well and left plain too. I keep a bowl of cooked red lentils and a bowl of cooked quinoa in the fridge always, they are such great things to bulk any dish with. A tin of green lentils would have been fine too of course.

So woke up with a bit of a headache, so thinking I will add some sodium to my day’s drinks. Other than that, feel fine. I’m doing a big food shop today.
B - porridge
L - herby scrambled eggs & mushrooms on rye toast
D - Chicken & vegetable stir fry
2 snacks of apple & peanut butter, or Greek yoghurt, if needed
lots of water, decaff tea
Day 5 underway!

Still managing it. Slow and steady. Horrible weather so made the kids sausages, mash and onion gravy (and veg obvs), that type of thing would lead me to majorly overeat so I was cautious and didn’t partake, my stir fry was nice instead.

Tomorrow B - Greek yoghurt & stewed rhubarb
L - shakshukah
D - chilli & brown rice
snacks if needed - rye toast or banana

Doing well with portion sizes. Mid afternoon still feels long, but evenings aren’t too bad.
Tomorrow B - scrambled eggs on rye toast, small glass of orange juice
L - Mixed bean and vegetable stew
D - haddock and sweet potato and roasted veg
Snack - stewed plums and Greek yoghurt if needed

Well first week is over. My brain is still very occupied by thoughts of food, feelings around food, body image issues, but I’ve done very well with the physical eating. Today we are going out on a date; so lunch will be bigger. I’ll make dinner smaller to compensate.
B - oat & flaxseed porridge with raisins
L - fish & chips
D - mixed bean salad with salad
S - apple & peanut butter, or boiled egg if I feel like it.

Hey I just wanted to say I am reading, as I am sure others are. You are doing fantastic, I’m also on a weightloss /healthy eating journey. You’re not alone. ☺️

As someone else has said, intermittent fasting (16-8) is brilliant. Because usually once I start eating I can't stop. It's not about restricting what you can eat, but just eating in a smaller time frame. I thought I would just eat the same amount but I'm actually less hungry now and not obsessing about food all time. I am addicted to sugar and am at risk of diabetes. My blood sugar is much more stable throughout the day so don't get the highs and crashes. Some people might be able to calorie count and lose weight on a traditional diet but I found that made me think about food ALL the time and I was constantly hungry, I would eventually cave in and have a massive binge.
I had some chocolate last night for the first time in ages before fasting started, I didn't finish all of it, I just put it away and didn't go back to it all night. That was unheard of for me before. I find having a cut off point really helps then I only have to control my eating for a few hours at a time.

@Janieforever ahh thankyou, I’m glad you’re reading. How are you doing?

@Tulips2507 it sounds like fasting works really well for you! I felt it did for me, but would then find myself trying to do longer and longer fasts then feeling a failure when I ate anything. I don’t eat after dinner now which is a huge improvement on how I was, so I go 5.30pm to 9.30am each day fasting but don’t consider myself officially fasting if that makes sense? Though I did just work out that is actually 16 hours, I didn’t realise.

Our date was lovely as usual, gorgeous fish (I ended up just having the fish and bread and butter, no chips), and then we had a thermos of tea and a chocolate biscuit sat at our favourite spot looking out to sea.

Definitely not hungry, or feeling as if I’m doing without, which I’m very pleased with as having a rough totm.
Tomorrow B - flax & oat porridge
L - roasted courgettes and sea trout
D - wholewheat spaghetti and lentil bolognese.
snacks of veg sticks with peanut butter dip if needed

I’ve done something very brave and also very scary - booked myself a week away next year learning how to sail!! It will give me a good incentive to focus on health, give me some belief in myself back that’s been eroded by decades of food food food, I’m pleased I did it but also eeeek!