Overeater getting in control!

[Atalanta1]

I’ve finally admitted to myself in my late forties that I am an overeater who compulsively eats. I’m addicted and get no pleasure from binging but it’s got worse and worse like any other addiction. Daily overeating and consequent emotional distress. Reading the recommended books and looking at OA (cannot attend meetings as live so rurally) it looks like I need to abstain. Hard when you have to eat food to survive!

So the weight loss goals (5 stones to lose) need to take a back seat to learning to control eating, complete abstinence from overeating by being strict with portion size and snacking control. I did manage five years ago to become teetotal as the urge to drink alcohol wasn’t nice even though I didn’t actually drink much (very addictive genes and alcoholic father made me always watch drink/not take any drugs) so I know it’s possible.

Started this thread as a space to list food plan and musings…both recommended. Would love if others commented as harder to battle alone. Today is Day 3 of abstaining from overeating.
B - Porridge
L - Fast 800 meal replacement shake I have left from (v) failed diet attempt.
D - Lentil and vegetable stew with quinoa.

A banana smoothie if I’m struggling at any point. Lots of water and tea. And probably a cry at some point as period due and this is hard and feelings are in turmoil, a lifelong addiction is hard to break.

Looks like you had a great week. Well done! I'm in almost the exact same boat. Binge eating with 5 stone to lose. It's so hard and many people don't understand.

I'm huge and unfit and have started to get heartburn or something similar which suggests my body has had enough of this shit.

Very well op, still on my journey, I picked low carb and exercise. I was the same as you in terms of gain and age . I don’t weigh myself I go by my clothes, and I went from a size ten to an eighteen in about a year, and am currently back to about the 12 level.

this morning I am wearing my lovely shibumi dressing gown by husband bought me a couple of Xmas;s ago, which I put on a few months ago and couldn’t even close over my boobs and belly, so has hung on the back of the door, unused.

I’ve been at it about 5 months now. You need to get to the stage you see results, which is only several weeks, it’s really motivational, and for me, I try to now wear nice clothes every day, I work from home.

So no more slobbing round in stretchy joggers/leggings and tee, but I put a nice skirt/trousers and top on, do my hair and light make up, and it reminds me every day of the journey I’m on and the progress I’m making.

for me, it was I developed a health issue related to my weight gain, high blood pressure, which promoted action, but I wouldn’t lie and say there is an underlying element of vanity now, it’s nice to wake up and be able to wear something you want, to pick clothes not just to hide and disguise, but because you wish to wear them.

Interesting to hear about everyone's overeating journeys. I definitely eat my feelings - have done ever since I had a miserable time in childhood and cake was my only friend - even now I like the sugary carbs for comfort. I have around 4 stone to lose but DP's moods are keeping me walking on eggshells - he was in a foul mood all day yesterday for no particular reason - the DC & I couldn't say or do anything right. And DTS2 (7), who has a tough time at school anyway, has recently been told by his 'best friend' that they can't be friends any more; there was an incident at school a few days before the end of term where they both got in trouble for being really silly and each blamed the other. I think the boy's parents have told him not to be friends with DTS2 as there wasn't even a falling out as such, and now the boy's mum is completely blanking me whenever we see each other in passing. Aaaarrrgghhhh. Having got all that off my chest, I'm starting to feel like it's no wonder I want more cake...

Thank you for the podcast suggestion @CanYouReachThem, I'll definitely give that a listen!

@FlamingYam you’re right, many people don’t understand, but fellow overeater do - I am here if you want a companion on the journey to better health and minds.

@Janieforever you are doing brilliantly, thank you for sharing! I think you are right about slobbing, it’s not the best mindset for us. I’m wearing a lot of comfy jersey dresses now, and get so many compliments from my DP and neighbours, I’m the same size but feel better in them than trying to hide in slobby clothes.

@LadyAmeliaSmallhope I love your username!!! Best. Series. Ever.
I’m sorry you have this eating disorder too, the cake from a difficult childhood struck a chord, and our pain for our children can be difficult to manage - is your son still in the same class as the friend/non-friend after the holidays? I have something similar with a neighbour who has decided she doesn’t like me, I’m fine with her blanking me but there’s only a couple of little girls in our village and her not allowing her DD to play with mine has a huge affect and effect.
Also - the walking on eggshells, I lived that life many years ago with exH, I hope you are ok. You aren’t alone.

Great thread and you're doing really well OP!

Quiet couple of days as I sabotaged myself with a packet of jammy dodgers (wtf, I don’t even like them), and then ate junk food all yesterday and felt ashamed and angry and a failure. But, these false feelings are just as important to deal with as controlling actual food intake, so I’ve brushed myself off and am back trying.
Today B - flax, oat & bran porridge
L - carrot & ginger soup, sandwich
D - fish and vegetables of some kind
only protein shake as a snack if needed
I’m also walking the dog for an hour.
I think I need to get some nice low cal drinks in.

@Atalanta1 I think the junk food gives us a small (temporary!) 'lift' as well, which doesn't help those of us trying to avoid it... I'm having some counselling at the moment and the counsellor explained that if you get a dopamine hit from doing something, however small, it encourages your brain to keep doing it. Sigh. Doesn't help me to break the cake habit...

DS will be in the same class as his friend/ non friend next term, the school talked about mixing up the classes (it's a two form entry school) but decided not to. It's especially hard for him as there are way more girls than boys in the class to start with, and the majority of boys in there are football mad, which he really isn't - he enjoys playing at break times but that's it. I'm trying to encourage him to make friends elsewhere - at holiday clubs etc - but it's difficult when obviously he'll have to go back to school and be with the same kids, including one that now won't play with him. Your neighbour sounds harsh too!!

Glad you like the username I've just read the latest book!Lady

@LadyAmeliaSmallhope I’ve just read the latest too! I still say my favourite is when she gets stuck in the 1300s.

My son is nearly 16, but at primary he stuck out like a sore thumb as he despises football bless him. He does a good “aloof” though and found his way through, I hope your boy does too. You never know, it may have all blown over by the end of the first day and they be friends again. It’s a hard age for friendships I think.

Today I’ve felt very calm actually, accepted my blip and moving on. There are things I cannot have in the house at the minute clearly, I’m okay with the bread and even baking ourselves but no packets of biscuits for a while maybe!
Tomorrow B - flax/oat/bran porridge with blackberries we’ll pick fresh on the morning.
L - ratatouille & cold meats
D - macaroni cheese & broccoli

I'm following so I can use your meals as a meal planner! Reading your menus makes me think I can do it too, they sound healthy but tasty 🙂

I've put on a couple of stone after having a baby. It's been a year and I'm actually heavier than I was just after giving birth 😢 Tried eating healthier and swimming but it just falls apart when I don't see any change in a week or two...I KNOW it takes longer than that but yeah, I feel rubbish and then I eat rubbish and feel worse and eat worse.

Anyway, you're doing an amazing thing and I also won't be buying biscuits again after eating the packs myself in as many days. Good luck and thanks for the inspiration!

@destiEos thank you so much for your kind words.
Having a baby is a huge exertion mentally and physically, they always used to say you aren’t fully recovered for two years minimum and I really believe that. So be gentle on yourself, nutrition and fresh air, as much sleep as possible and everything else will all click in to place in the end.

I’m trying to go for healthy/satisfying food so I don’t feel deprived as this isn’t a diet but a change of life which is scary when I’m over middle age lol. I just bought some proper Hungarian smoked paprika, and I may treat myself to some good olive oil. The nice thing is my DP makes me feel beautiful at all my different weights, he never makes me feel judged or ‘less than’ even when I feel frumpy and tbh disgusting to look at. Body image can be a really sad thing. I’ve managed to instill confidence in my girls somehow, so I must have hidden my insecurities well but they run v deep.

I think I actually prefer the Time Police novels now @Atalanta1 as they're just a lot less convoluted! Just been following all the CSM upset on Facebook, that's all a bit confusing too...

Yes DS does find it tricky with his lack of interest in football, there's a group of boys (including his ex friend) in his class who are football mad, and he's just not interested enough to join in. I've offered for him to join a local team - a different one to the one the boys are in, if he prefers - so he can have the same experiences, but he doesn't enjoy playing enough to do all the training and matches!

I won't be buying biscuits either for a while @destiEos I actually lost quite a bit of weight after my DTs were born - found it reasonably easy when they were tiny babies - but then they were so utterly fucking hideous quite hard work as toddlers and all my hard work went to pot...

PS I'm impressed at your blackberry picking @Atalanta1, we don't have any ripe round here!

@LadyAmeliaSmallhope I agree, the alternate time line yonks ago was complicated enough, now I’m never quite sure who the baddies are! And I’m rather fond of Team Weird’s Jane.

@destiEos what Lady Amelia said! I loathe the 6months-2years stage, they are adorable, but delinquent, thugs and only food and wine made it bearable…though I’ve five kids still at home so I clearly am a glutton for punishment as well as cake 🤣.

@Atalanta1 I had heard that 1 year was around how long it took to get back to normal, but I'm more than happy to take 2 😁
Yep, sleep is definitely the culprit for me, if I'm tired I want cake...although the little fella is at nursery and sleeps through, so I don't really have much of an excuse. And age is definitely a factor, I had a much better relationship with food and was a much healthier weight until I got to my 40s, now even exercising and paying attention to what I eat isn't effective! DH also loves me regardless of shape, which is wonderful and I him..

@LadyAmeliaSmallhope "utterly fucking hideous" 😂Yeah, before he started nursery it was super-hard, but now I'm back at work and have some time off it's much better. And I'm very much hoping my little one isn't into football, neither me nor his dad are - so hopefully, he'll be a nerd like us!

@destiEos honestly, I look at the DC's toddler photos and think I didn't fully appreciate how cute they were, because at the time I was far too busy coping with tantrums, endless bloody squabbling and snot. LOTS of snot, DTS2's nose runs like a tap September to April I'm shuddering now just thinking about it - DTS1 has ADHD and is still bloody hard work, but was far, far worse when he was tiny and every nap time and bedtime was a battle.

@Atalanta1 five kids I take my hat off to you ever having any time to read!! My brain has been shredded with DTS1's meltdowns over the years, I can't keep up with the timelines either - might be why I prefer TP now. And I do have a soft spot for Grint

@LadyAmeliaSmallhope we are currently in a huge snot phase! I have DH take him in the shower in the morning and "flush" him. I then run around after him with tissues and he screams.. It's more fun than it sounds 😬

Today's first attempt, (I have to use up the leftovers):
B - Porridge with half a banana and a spoon of peanut butter
L - Leftover chicken and roast potatoes with Greek yoghurt
D - Tom yum soup with leftover chicken
S - Perkier bar and an apple with a piece of cheddar

@Atalanta1 following your journey as I have similar binge eating issues. Also an addictive type and took me years to quit smoking but I did get there. I am a massive bjnge eater.

Like @destiEos I recently had a baby so I have to be gentle with weight loss. People keep saying "be nice to yourself etc" because of having a baby but if they knew what I eat when I don't limit myself I think they would be shocked.

I'm quite good at cutting out everything when I get in the zone but I'm not capable of moderation. Having lost some weight recently I thought I would take a break from being so strict and the snacks are creaping back up to crazy levels. Biscuits, chocolates, crisps. Every day I seem to have more and more.

Not sure if I am lucky or unlucky but I don't put on THAT much weight which makes it easy to ignore.

I just don't believe in myself long term. I know I can diet for a few weeks but I feel this inevitably depression that I will always eventually go back to my binging.

Anyway solidarity etc

By the way my breakfast is quite high calorie but good for preventing snacking.
150g low fat green yoghurt, 15g milled flaxseed, 10g chia seeds, 5g goji berries, blueberries and a chopped apple. Keeps me totally full until lunch x

@Janefx40 also quit smoking years ago and no biscuits, chocolates, ice ream or crisps allowed in the house because I eat them all 😥If I'm at a reasonable weight then it's fine, but I think it's self-punishment when I'm overweight..

Today's not started great, but the buffet lunch at work is usually great for avoiding carby fatty foods..
B - slice of toast with butter and jam and yoghurt with half a banana and a spoonful of granola (technically 2 breakfasts 😕)
L - Jerk chicken with black bean salad (office day)
D - whatever DH cooks..
S - Leaving do, so a couple of drinks at work