My 15 year old has put on weight

[Stripeybluetop]

My dd loves her food. As an easy comparison, her brother (13) is much more easy going about it but my dd has always been very into it. Since they were babies her plate is always left empty while his would have bits and pieces of food left after a meal.

My DH is the same. Mad about food. So am I but I watch myself closely. My DH is overweight. He had bariatric surgery 3 years ago but the weight has crept back on.
I've always watched my DDs food intake to make sure she's healthy but now she's a little older she is much more in control of her food- eg she can go and buy herself takeaways. She is now, for the first time, overweight. I'm distressed. I think it's a really difficult burden to be overweight.

All her friends have eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia and it's like she compensates the other way. Please, please, does anyone have an tips about how to handle this?

No she not pregnant. She's still a virgin. She's 5ft 7. Yes size 16 is my guess.

I would focus on getting all ultraprocessed food out of the house. Then takeaways with the boyfriend won't make a dent in a good diet.

Your and your husband's health is also probably the most important thing here.

We don't really keep processed food in the house. Except food like beans and sausages and we don't eat that more than once a fortnight. I really think the takeaways are the problem.

What sort of takeaways are we talking about and how often is she having them?

She is tall OP, Can you find out how much she weigh do you have scales at home? If we can find out her bmi it will help to determine x

I don't really trust the bmi. Nor do i think it would ambe appropriate atm to ask her her weight.

You can take my word for it @Mummy2mybear I can see she's put on weight. Her trousers are too tight.

I think she had started having them maybe twice a week @Inkpotlover it's crept in as a habit. I'm trying to stop them.

It seems like your bothered about how she appears than her as a person. That sentence about all her friends having ED's is awful.

Well many of us are just trying to get a idea of how bad the issue is, we know is a issue we take your word but is a difference between being maybe slightly over or a good few stone over when she really needs help. 5,7 is a good height.

the thing that really sorted out our family eating is Gousto boxes. Cooking tasty properly portioned meals from scratch becomes normal. And cream is never involved! If your dd is eating a proper meal most nights then a takeaway here and there is not going to matter

Can you see from the answers to this that the problem is you and your husband, not your daughter.

It's the two of you that need to get your act together and model good behaviour. It's all very well saying cream tastes nice, but if your husband has got so overweight he needs surgery and is now putting weight on, and now your daughter is putting on too much weight??? It's no difference to being a smoker, having lung cancer, refusing to give up smoking around the house and then trying to fix your teenager for taking up smoking.

Make it about the family changing habits and start with you and your husband. Don't make this about your daughter.

Yes, I'm certainly trying very hard to do this @Devilledmeg he has an eating disorder for decades. It's not easy. I don't think I'm a bad role model.

Are we talking McDonald's? Curry? Pizza? Where is she getting the money from to buy them?

Just to put this in context, I am having the same problem with my DD and as a household we have a very healthy diet. I am very slim and fit and so are my other two DCs. We never have takeaways (can’t afford to!) and we eat lots of veg, healthy protein and very few treats.

Once teenagers get to 15/16 and are out and about with their own money, it can be very difficult to control what they eat, however much you ‘model’ a healthy lifestyle.

I would drop the ‘run for 30 days to get a cat’ thing. That’s a terrible idea and not what having a pet should be dependent on.

I don’t think there’s any one specific solution to it aside from encouraging healthy eating and being active. With food I think the more punitive and restrictive that you become, the worse it gets.

This is absolutely bloody awful

Tiddler39
"Once teenagers get to 15/16 and are out and about with their own money, it can be very difficult to control what they eat, however much you ‘model’ a healthy lifestyle."

I have found this to be the case. My daughter (15) is out and about and eats all her lunches and snack out of the house. She doesn't like what school offers for lunch, so eats a lot of sandwiches and too many snacks, too many sweets. I provide lunch money and she doesn't spend too much, the problem is the sort of stuff she buys.

OP, I think recognizing the problem is good. I try not to have battles about food because, while the situation is not ideal, I don't want to push her into any sort of eating disorder or body image issues. They are very sensitive at this age. Encouraging exercise/movement and healthy portions at home is the extent of what you can accomplish. It seems like there is also a genetic component to weight issues in your family (there is in mind); you need to realize that there are limits to how much you can change there.

Yeah a real kick in the teeth.

It's a horrible attitude.

Op just be glad you've got a healthy and happy dd, making this an issue and guilting/shaming/bribing her to exercise is awful.

She's healthy and happy because of - not in spite of - the massive efforts I've made in this department.

I worry about the idea that teenagers put on weight and then naturally lose it- ime teenage girls put on weight and then develop an eating disorder

They may well develop an ED if it's not pointed out them by adults that it's natural for them to gain weight at this life stage or if they are made to feel like they must diet or exercise to be slimmer. They need to understand nature will run its course and their weight will eventually stabilise.

Weight loss causes EDs, it's the only proven cause of anorexia.

By encouraging weight loss, food restriction and increased exercise you are dramatically increasing her risk of developing an ED.

You're not quite accurate @Girliefriendlikespuppies , binge eating disorder is far more common than anorexia

There is increasing evidence that eating disorders are frequently linked to ASD.

30 days in a row? Sorry, batshit. No wonder she has issues if that’s what you come out with. My partner can run long distance but no way would he not have many rest days in between.