I need a full diet overhaul

[Star0Fire]

My diet is really bad, I know it is. A lot of ultra processed foods and not enough fruit and veg. I'm obese, I daren't tell you my BMI as I'm too ashamed.
Was seeing the nurse last week for routine annual appointment when she took my blood pressure, for the first time in my life it is high. I'm 32, married with 2 DC aged 2 & 4 btw. She asked if I'd like a referral to the healthy lifestyle people which I agreed. Had my call today, I'm accepting the referral to the 12 week healthy eating program and also a referral to the local gym with a free 6 month membership (6 month wait list for this)

I don't really know why I'm posting. I suppose I need some guidance on changing my diet, are there any good tv programs you can recommend? Or audiobooks

I need to get healthy, I owe it to my kids and myself. It's just hard. I have about 7+ stone to lose which seems impossible. Then again, if I lost even half that I would be proud of myself

Small steps. Don't overhaul your diet in one go, start cooking from scratch more as a start and get some scales and weigh things out you'll be surprised what size serving of pasta/rice is recommended.

Re your blood pressure being high when we're young we are made of rubber and magic so can get away with being obese but as the years go by the damaged to us starts to mount up. It's why I find the health at any size movement really disingenuous.

It was the birth of my son that spurred me on to sort my life out as I was at the park with him and was too ashamed to play due to how fat I was compared to all the other parents.

If you can afford it I wouldn't hang around for a free gym membership join a no contract gym now and cancel it when your free membership arrives.

What is it that you struggle with, e.g. no time to cook from scratch/endless snacking/no willpower/sugar addiction/ afraid of hunger etc?

Now is the right time to embrace healthy eating for the whole family, so that your little ones don’t find themselves in your current situation. You can do it!

My advice would be to start making one small change each day. Be honest with yourself- if you usually munch 3 packs of crisps and 6 chocolate bars each day start by reducing the amount.
Don’t try to cut it all out in one go - I found that gave me major headaches.
decide to do something different one day at a time - veg for snacks instead of biscuits for example
start cooking from scratch
drink water

and exercise- I started off by “walking more”with a friend in the evening- we started in January and waited until it was dark so we weren’t seen red and sweaty 🥵 lol

Have a look at this thread, @Star0Fire . Cutting down/out all forms of sugar and refined carbs is key.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4801368-giving-up-sugar-for-21-days

In your situation I think joining Weight Watchers or Slimming World would be beneficial . You will get menus, recipes and a structure to get you into a more regulated way of eating and encouragement to exercise.

on exercise a gym may be overwhelming. If you can, take 30 mins every day, put some trainers on and walk out of your front door. Just walk, but do it every day whatever the weather. It will make you feel good and you an build up from there.

If you enjoy reading, get hold of Why we eat (too much) by Andrew Jenkinson. It explains about diet/ appetite/ hunger/ hormones/ weight gain etc. I found it very helpful in moving away from processed food, as understanding why it is so harmful helped motivate me. (Got the book from my public library).
I'd say- try to start eating as much unprocessed food as possible. Don't cut down on food inititially- just change the type of food.
Also, whilst waiting for your gym membership, try and do some walking building up gradually to increase your pace and distance. And start doing some gentle stretches at home- maybe look on YouTube for ideas.

OP, go for little changes.

In week one, change breakfast from whatever you currently eat to either wholemeal toast with spread, and a piece of fruit, or porridge with skimmed milk and fruit.

And change your pasta/bread/couscous to the wholemeal versions. They contain more fibre, are better for your gut, take longer to digest and so make you feel full for longer.

And go for a walk every day (lunchtime?) to push up your metabolic rate a little.
Succeeding at week one is important.

Then in the weeks after, make similar changes gradually - include more home cooked meals, reduce portion size a little, add fresh veg, use a smaller dinner plate (sounds daft but it works) etc.

I also found that when I’d done the evening walk I felt less like sitting watching tv and eating junk

Books by Bee Wilson and Tim Spector are great - about nutrition more broadly. And I wouldn’t focus on the gym too much - now it’s light in the evenings can you go for a walk each evening; building up the pace and distance

You sound in a panic. That's no good. Shame and stress about it will make you go on a diet for a few weeks then abandon it and feel even worse.

One step at a time. You want to eat more fruit and veg - so increase portion of what veg you have and ensure you have a couple of pieces of fruit a day. Get a water bottle and ensure you drink 2-3 refills of it a day. Those things can be done without changing your lifestyle at all.

Personally I find family life is a barrier to any kind of diet as I can't fast or sit with salad when the rest of the family need carbs etc and getting my head around different meals for everyone drives me crazy.

I have overnight oats for breakfast as that takes no time, aim to have homemade salad (a nice, proper tasty salad like coleslaw or fattoush) or soup for lunch and normal dinner but smaller portion of carbs and avoid processed stuff where possible. Some days, fish fingers and oven chips are still the best answer!

With exercise, again small children are a limitation! Can you get a Fitbit to count your steps, maybe find a fitness class near you where you go regularly and it's fun, like Zumba? I find the gym soul destroyingly dull. With small children you have so little time to yourself, fitness should be something fun.

Basically I think a lifestyle change works when it's coming from a place of loving yourself and wanting it positively, wanting better health regardless of what you look like.

If you go into it with 'I'm a disgusting pig and must be punished' mentality you'll feel awful and any change will be short lived.

With 2 small children it's great to be overhauling the families diet - if you can raise your children to have a healthy diet and lifestyles that's a great gift to them

Agree with others that small steps are great

Can you list your typical day food and then what it should be and then make one substitute at a time ? Morning biscuits for apple? Or a grab pile of carrot sticks ready peeled ?

Can you afford to switch bread to a one without all the emulsifiers for example ? Our sainsburies sells what I call posh bread that just has flour yeast water salt/sugar like you would make at home. That's an UPF that you can switch for a none UPF without having to change or give up anything

Feel good that you are taking action not just for your future but for your children's future ( because they will at the end of the day follow your eating habits )

Thank you for all of your replies. I've only just returned to the thread as was too nervous too see the replies. I think it scares me that I can't hide from it anymore I have to face the facts and realise the only thing stopping me is me. I'll continue reading your replies now

Lack of willpower, also snacking.
Today I've had 2 slices of toast with butter 1 with jam. 2 bourbon biscuits and 1 cookie with a cup of tea (2 sugars)

I just prepared some food for DS and while making it I snacked on 1 packet wotsits and a slice of cheese from the packet.
Writing it all down I can see how bad it is. I think I need to hold myself accountable by writing it all down

I need to cook from scratch more, convenience is clearly my worst enemy so I will work on that. Good tip about going for walks on an evening. I'd have to go alone though as DH would be with the kids and I don't really have anyone else local to do it with. Saying that, I could try and go for a walk every day with the pram. The only thing stopping me is me being lazy 😞

Genuinely think I'm addicted to sugar, I'll look at this , thank you

Thanks so much , I appreciate that you can see the small things such as a 30 min walk would be a good start for me 🙂 I did WW when I was 10 years younger and lost 3.5 stone , so that's not a bad idea

Could you stop buying the cookies and crisps?

if they aren’t in the house you can’t mindlessly snack on them

@Star0Fire well done on recognising that you need to change. You can do this, you've done it before so you can do it again.

I would really recommend a metabolic reset via following the Human Being Diet. I found this on Instagram and I've had great success. You need to kill the sugar monster. You are addicted to sugar. The author is about to revamp her first book, so I would hold off and buy it when it is released. It's a revelation about how our bodies work explained in really simple terms and it all makes sense. She trains you to consume more water which stops hunger pangs, to leave 5 hour gaps between meals, to eat more protein and vegetables. It really could change you and your family's relationship with food.

Part of her plan is not to go to the gym at the beginning, so this meal plan might work and by the time you've done the plan and lost some weight by changing how you eat and getting active through walking with your pram, you'll get the free gym membership.

thehumanbeingdiet.com there's a lot of information on Instagram if you have an account.

Good luck. I really think you can do this, for yourself and for your family.

Goodness, that’s a diet designed to keep you hungry and malnourished, whilst also gaining weight!

There’s no reason to stock junk food in the house. Stop buying biscuits, crisps etc

Here we prepare small snack bowls with 2-3 items like:

A slice of cheddar/cubes of feta/babybel
a peeled carrot
sliced cucumber
cherry tomatoes
olives
7-8 nuts (cashews/walnuts/pistachios)
a fruit or a handful of berries

or apple slices with peanut butter, a can of tuna or mackerel etc

For casual desert after dinner I first offer fruit, if child is after something sweet I offer 2 squares of Lindt dark chocolate (I keep several flavours in the pantry), or yogurt. I buy plain Greek yogurt and stir in a spoon of honey or good jam in (no sweeteners or dodgy ingredients, just fruit, sugar and lemon juice).

If I were you (I was, 8 months ago) I’d start eating mostly protein and fat without going hungry, and also do intermittent fasting. So a lunch would be: 3 scrambled eggs topped with cheddar, some bacon, and a mountain of chopped veg, olives, pickled gherkins etc.

I could've written this myself OP! I've got two young kids and about seven stone to lose. I found myself snacking on food while making lunch/dinners and just eating convenient food from the freezer, and I'm still wearing maternity clothes even though my youngest is almost 8 months old. None of my other clothes fit me, although I've always been big so I still feel frumpy even in them.
I got to a point where I was struggling to keep up with my two year old and would make excuses not to get out for a walk with the buggy.
Four weeks ago I joined slimming world, and I've already lost 12.5lbs. It's been really helpful to go to a group and get weighed in, because I find it keeps me accountable for what I eat. I won't say it's been an easy ride the last few weeks, trying to figure out meals that everyone will eat, but I find that as long as I'm organised, and I have good snacks in the fridge, then it doesn't have to be a chore. I've not felt hungry once since I've started and I still enjoy chocolate in the evening.

Hopefully you'll find something that works for you 🤞🏼 Good luck!

I would say try not to think about dieting or losing weight just yet.

concentrate on making your daily ‘diet’ (and your whole family’s) healthier.

I would start with breakfast. Switch your slices of toast and jam to one slice of a healthier bread - preferably with seeds etc and two boiled or scrambled or poached eggs. That will fill you up all morning. Or some Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds. Porridge is often touted as the best breakfast and it can be for some people but for others not so much as it spikes blood sugar and when that crashes mid morning you end up back on the bourbons.

Food wise the best thing we can do is reduce ultra processed foods. They are designed to not fill us up and just make us want more. And our bodies crave more as they are lacking in nutrition.

For exercise if you can get out for some walks that’s great and even if you can’t try walking on the spot indoors on and off through the day. Put music on and dance with the children.

Good luck! Keep posting here. There is always support and advice.

Thank you all so much, I was scared about posting and seeing the responses but you've all been helpful and kind. I lack in confidence a lot and I'm just getting bigger and unhealthier. Both my kids are a healthy weight thankfully but my DH is heavy too (but my BMI is worse than)

I do the food shop, we get it delivered weekly so I'm fully in control there. No more biscuits and crisps is easy I can just stop buying them. If they're not here then we can't eat them .

Someone suggested the snack bowls, I love that idea. Chopped up cheese, fruits and veggies in little containers.

@OhLookCriedNed well done on your success with SW, I hope I can be as successful as you. I would never be brave enough to go to class but I'd try it online

@Peridot1 good tips, thank you

The ridiculous thing is I work part time (evenings) so I do have time to do these things I'm just being lazy by not doing it :( the 2yo isn't in nursery so is home with me all day and the 4yo does 2.5 days at nursery so they are home most of the time which does keep me busy but still

Can I suggest that you look at my fitness pal and perhaps look at joining a weight loss group for support. I use team RH which is on Facebook. They will show you key principles of weight loss with protein, fibre and starting being active (steps) being important factors. They have coaches who can provide you with support.

@Star0Fire I know going to a class sounds scary, but honestly everyone that goes is lovely. I've been to several over the years and it's always been really supportive. The thing to remember is that everyone is there because they want to lose weight, and aren't happy with where they are. There's a woman on my group who has reached her target weight, having lost about 8st, and she's a great inspiration to keep going.
You say that your DH is big too, would he go with you to a group for moral support, even if it's just until you feel confident to go alone?