Can two similar people eat similar amounts and one be fat and one be thin

[cherrypiepie]

I'm the fat one.

Been on hols with slim people who ate so much I was agog jealous.

Normally I'd be feeling horrible for eating so much (guilt and embarrassed) but they just tucked in what ever they wanted. No concept of balance or moderation 2-3 plates of food and pudding. Drinks, bread. Three times a day.

They are slim - so it weight metabolic, genetic, habitual, psychological?

Is it more than just my poor self control that is contributing to my obesity?

Similarish in terms of ages/ genders /jobs /lifestyle

Yes, my friend was adopted and growing up she piled weight easily on, while her sister eating the same diet stayed very slim. Clearly a case of genetics.

Weight gain is very complex. I'm also the fat one.
Maybe your slim friends had a blow out on holiday, and after holidays their eating habits are more moderate?
If out for meals I often eat less or make healthier choices than my thinner friends. Stick me in front of an office buffet or biscuit tin and it's me who stops last or never refuses.
I don't drive, walk everywhere, go to the gym and am generally far more active than my friends.I drink very little
I was a fat kid, did not develop the best of eating habits, age does not help now.
I am sure there is a genetic element - one side of my family are short and round. The other side are tall and built like tanks. I"m on the short and round side.
Bottom line is I still eat too much.

I think it's likely that they were eating differently on holiday to how they would normally.

Of course people have different metabolisms - but I think it's more likely in this case that what they ate on holiday didn't reflect how they would normally eat, rather than it being the case that they all have really fast metabolisms.

If they are on holiday, it’s unlikely the slim people would be eating & drinking what they normally do. I certainly don’t. I have whatever the hell I want during the trip, then it’s back to watching what I eat as normal, back to the gym and back on the bike.

I would be the thin friend. If you saw me eat on holiday you'd think that I eat a lot. And I do sometimes. But at home I cook healthy meals from scratch, no processed food, very little alcohol, no fizzy drinks, not much sugar. I try to have a long break before dinner and breakfast so never eat after dinner. I know I could be a lot thinner if I ate less but could also be a lot fatter. Not sure it's anything to do with metabolism

Another one who thinks it is likely the eating patterns on holiday were “blow out”. I’m slim but eat and drink what I want when I want on holiday - well because I’m on holiday! Usually end up putting on about 5lbs in a couple of weeks. Back to my normal eating routines and weight naturally drops again after a few weeks.

Agree they probably did eat differently and gained some weight but then would go back to eating less when they get home. I do think of you don't have a weight problem you are more likely to feel ok doing that, firstly no-one will judge you for eating what you like and then you probably have confidence you will easily lose any excess weight once you get home.

I think there are some elements of this. I definitely seem to have a fast metabolism and don't put in weight easily. However I am also generally careful what I eat but eat what I like on holiday so it's hard to get an accurate picture from just that.

I eat a LOT and drink too, but never put on weight. My partner can't believe how much I eat. I'm 7 stone (but short) 8 stone when I gave birth to my healthy babies. Back in my jeans within days.
My sister eats far less and has to watch
her weight. Mum said that I'd have to stop eating so much when I reached 40 as I'd get fat. I didn't! Don't know why? Mum says my great aunt was the same as me, strange. My daughter has to watch her weight but my son is like me, eats loads but doesn't put on weight.

Either higher metabolism than you
Or engages in some disordered eating/purging behaviours

Yes, and no.

You would have to compare over a longer period than just a holiday to understand what their normal diets and activity levels are, but people are all different.

When I was younger, I could eat anything and not put on weight. Really - endless amounts of junk food, crisps, biscuits, McDonald's, pizza, sweets, fizzy drinks and more, it didn't matter; I stayed below 8 stone, no matter what. I wasn't healthy of course and needed the loo all the time, but I didn't have to watch what I ate. Then I hit my 30s and something just switched. 🤷‍♀️

These days I only stay at a low BMI by being careful and exercising, but I could probably eat loads on a short holiday without worrying as I know I'd lose it all again.

@NuffSaidSam

I think it's likely that they were eating differently on holiday to how they would normally.

This is most likely to be spot on

Went on holiday with my friend from Uni. We were both short (5'2") I weighed about a stone more than her. We were 22.

We ate identical food and drinks for a week. I gained 5lb, she stayed the same.

So ... ime, yes.

I think it’s definitely possible because people may have a different metabolism, build or be more active. That said I agree with pps it’s far more likely that they indulged on holiday in a way they wouldn’t the rest of the time. I think most people do that.

I have a couple of friends who regularly ask me how I’m not bigger (when looking at what I’m having in a restaurant) but my answer is that I’m not eating a starter and a rich main course 7 days a week! I’ve had colleagues assume I eat what I want and don’t gain weight just because I’ve had a whole cream cake instead of splitting it between two or four people but I probably eat a cream cake 3 or 4 times a year.

I’m in my 40s now and I have a sedentary job so the blow out meals and cream cakes need to be occasional treats rather than the norm if I don’t want to gain weight.

My dh is thin and can eat loads, far far more than I ever could and I’m overweight. A lot of his family are naurually slim. His mum was tiny and really slim but when she died she had Post mortem and cause was build up of fat in arteries, so you can be fat on inside whilst be slim on outside, that’s at least one positive of putting on weight easily you may tend to be more careful about what you eat

being the same height doesn't mean you have the same muscle mass.
not sure if you ever watched the biggest looser but those contestants with athletic backgrounds (ex football players and ex near olympians) always did well because they had more muscle.
and research shows those that are slim intuitively balance what they eat over time, so yes they can have a real feast but over the next few meals (or days) will subconsciously eat more balanced foods.

Of course but it's how you eat long term that I think makes all the difference.

At my heaviest I would eats lot before a holiday and then even more on holiday and continue afterwards. Because of my eating habits I would be putting weight on from before let alone the food I ate when there.

At my thinnest I would have good balanced meals before holiday then eat what I wanted on holiday and revert straight back to normal eating when I returned. Typically I wouldn't put weight on doing this.

Yep.
Me and my husband.

We ate same meals, same snacks

I was 17st he was 10st 🙄

It's complicated and there are differences in metabolism, but in this case OP, I think your friends were treating themselves due to being on holiday and returned to their normal portion sizes when they got home.

My DH is very slim (BMI 18) and I can tell you that the reason for this is that he doesn't eat very much. But he'll definitely splash out for a holiday or special occasion.

@GollyGawsh is he taller than you?

I can eat staggering quantities of food and not put on weight but it’s always healthy, home-cooked, low-sugar meals. That’s possibly due to a fast metabolism (though it has slowed post-35) and an active lifestyle. In the OP’s it might be a combination of those friends not watching what they ate so carefully on holiday and their genetics.

Oh definitely. I lost 5 stone last year but to the everyday person it looks like I pig out daily but I run and swim and go to the gym which makes a difference as i burn more calories while I am at rest.

slim/fat looks different on different people too. I remember my awful sister in law once called me fat. I weighed about a stone less than her in reality as she is over a foot taller (I’m little).

Also a taller person can eat a higher calorie amount as they burn more by just being alive.