Can two similar people eat similar amounts and one be fat and one be thin

[cherrypiepie]

I'm the fat one.

Been on hols with slim people who ate so much I was agog jealous.

Normally I'd be feeling horrible for eating so much (guilt and embarrassed) but they just tucked in what ever they wanted. No concept of balance or moderation 2-3 plates of food and pudding. Drinks, bread. Three times a day.

They are slim - so it weight metabolic, genetic, habitual, psychological?

Is it more than just my poor self control that is contributing to my obesity?

Similarish in terms of ages/ genders /jobs /lifestyle

I've been reading Tim Spector's 'Spoon fed' and he covers this. The gut microbiome can alter the number of calories that are absorbed by the body - so different individuals can take in different calories from the same food.

It may be just a small difference and not the whole story, but obesity is complex and individual with more than one cause/mechanism.

Did you know there are different body types? Ecto, endo, and mesomorph? My friend showed me. They said when they eat too much (or also stuff that puts on weight instead of healthful stuff) they will become overweight, whereas someone with ecto wouldn't.

It seems to explain things somewhat.

Also, 500 calories in bread, is not equal to 500 calories in bell peppers - different nutritional values and this contributes to weight as does calorie intake.

The reason the diet industry focuses on calorie intake is demand incentive -they want to keep their business going, it doesn't help you lose weight and maintain a good body shape.

If someone eats 500 calories a day in cakes they will still have excess fat around their organs making them generally unhealthy. If the same person ate 2000 calories of raw vegetables they wouldn't.

What I eat on holiday is absolutely nothing like what I eat regularly, so don’t gauge you friends’ diet by what they’ve consumed when away with you.

Back back to your broader question, there are many factors from BMR, TDEE, hormonal response…

This.

The other thing that seems to consume calories is nerves. If people have the 'fight or flight response' constantly in the background, they seem to generally be slim.

@EliyanahM

Either higher metabolism than you Or engages in some disordered eating/purging behaviours

really? are those the only 2 options - Or how about a third option - they enjoyed eating more on holiday and then went back to their usual healthier habits at home??

I think this is certainly the case. Everyone’s body is different, and we have different lifestyles as well. Healthy weights are like anything else—you have to find the balance that’s healthiest for you.

slim/fat looks different on different people too. I remember my awful sister in law once called me fat. I weighed about a stone less than her in reality as she is over a foot taller (I’m little).

Obviously no one should be calling anyone fat, but someone who is a foot taller but weighs a stone more is a lot slimmer.

This.

The truth is that while there are always people who claim to eat 8000 calories a day and never gain, most 'naturally' slim people I know actually watch their weight pretty carefully. It's normal for them, so it's not a burden or anything, just part of their lifestyle. They prefer slimness to whatever pleasure they'd get from cake, most of the time, and if they relax those habits, it's either because a) they have 'earned' it through exercise or missing another meal, or b) because they're on holiday and it's only temporary, and they'll be back to healthy habits once home.

"His mum was tiny and really slim but when she died she had Post mortem and cause was build up of fat in arteries, so you can be fat on inside whilst be slim on outside"

Yes this was definitely me in the old days. Always a size 6-8 no matter what but couldn't climb a flight of stairs without getting breathless.

If you have ever dieted to lose weight you need to eat less calories to stay that new weight than someone who has always been that weight.
Also people relax on holiday.

My OH weighed in at about 7.5 - 8 stone. Nothing he ate or however much he ate made him put on weight.

I put on a bit of weight when I reached my 40s - I used to joke and say we were practicing to be on a seaside postcard!

You really can’t judge over just a 2 week period. Some people naturally just move more than others I. Quite subtle ways but not adds up to calorie burn, always up and down, a bit fidgety, up and down the stairs, swinging leg and so on. So their NEAT is higher - Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis. So that can be a factor that’s not always easy to spot.

Sorry a bit garbled. ….. but does add up to calorie burn

Yeah I’d agree with general consensus here.
I’m the “skinny friend”. I’ve always been petite - majority of the women on my mum’s side of the family are built like me - short, slim, no boobs, no bum.
I’m generally quite an active person, and while my diet isn’t great, I don’t eat huge amounts - I’m more of a grazer. But when I’m on holiday, or it’s a special occasion like Christmas/birthdays etc I do indulge! I’ll have dessert or even 2 desserts without giving it a second thought. And yes I will gain weight during a holiday!