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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

Just got called a fat c*nt

42 replies

BigBessie · 27/12/2021 18:09

I'm absolutely devastated. Next door neighbour has been working on house for 18 months. Not just the odd day, up to 7 days a week from anything 7am to 7pm. I have complained a few times before as I'm working from home but he has just said it "won't be much longer".
He was banging yesterday (boxing day) and this afternoon he was drilling straight into my lounge wall so I couldn't even watch tv with the sound up.
I went and knocked and he gave me a tirade of abuse including calling me a fat c*nt.
I've been crying for a couple of hours. I'm so paranoid about my weight. I am going through menopause and have put on a lot.
I am a size 14 (if that matters) but thought I didn't look too bad to others but am now wondering if he has said what others are thinking.
I feel so low, I don't even want to eat tonight.
Just needed to share.
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 27/12/2021 18:13

Do you know that “fat” is one of the first insults men go to when they want to make a woman shut up? Even when the woman isn’t fat?

Do you know that people who swear and call they neighbours names aren’t people whose opinion on weight should be considered?

Do you know that it doesn’t actually matter if you are fat? It matters that you are healthy or working towards it.

LynetteScavo · 27/12/2021 18:14

He would have used the same words even if you were a size eight. It's not about you, it's about him. He's a horrible person.

KittenCatcher · 27/12/2021 18:16

What a horrible horrible man, no it doesnt matter what size you are. Some people are just nasty, selfish and being unkind makes them feel about themselves. You sound a beautiful person, inside and out. Try not to let this upset you, he really is an absolute idiot and probably has a tiny brain and winkie. Is he a real hunk of manly wonder, no thought not.

Theimpossiblegirl · 27/12/2021 18:17

What a prick! Don't listen to him, he's just picking an easy insult to upset a woman. He's a bully.
I would start documenting this though, in case it's the beginning of long term neighbour issues.

Starcaller · 27/12/2021 18:18

I remember when I was a size 6 (a long time ago) a van driving past and the man inside shouting 'fat bitch' at me. It's totally the first choice of idiot men who can't communicate like human beings.

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 27/12/2021 18:18

It's misogyny, my weight has fluctuated over my life and it's been used as an insult against me, it hurt, then I heard an idiot call a girl a work who is maximum size six a fat bitch because she wouldn't give him what he wanted and I realised it's just a go to degrading invading aimed at women, how often do men call each other fat as an insult? Rarely

MarshmallowSwede · 27/12/2021 18:20

It’s petty but the best answer to a man calling you fat is “listen here you little dicked piece of shit!”

If he is man enough to call you fat, then it’s fair game to assume he has a small dick. They hate that.. because maybe he does have a small one.

And no I don’t believe in “be kind” when it comes to men who are assholes. So go back and tell that baby dick having asshole to keep it down. And then call the police. There is a noise ordinance for most residential areas.

orinocosfavoritecake · 27/12/2021 18:21

What everyone else said.

A) At size 14 you aren’t fat.
B) If you put on six stone and became fat, that’s all you’d be. You wouldn’t be bad, or ugly, or worthless, or lazy, or stupid, or weak. You’d just be fat. There are many many many worse things to be than fat.
C) Your neighbour is a twat.

Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark · 27/12/2021 18:27

He's a vile piece of shit. Doesn't matter what size you are there's no excuse and he's only said it for maximum hurt.

Op think no more of it please
He's a fucking arse. Thinks he's clever to find a way to insult you. He wouldn't do it to a male im sure so how to sort this vile shit out...

KittenCatcher · 27/12/2021 18:31

I wouldnt fg round there again, are you keeping a record of the times he is working and recording the noise. You xould speak to your council noise abatement team if you want to make a formal complaint but dont give him the satisfaction of going round there just so he can throw pathetic insults.

WafflesOrIceCream · 27/12/2021 18:33

What a vile man!!OP size 14 is not fat!Please eat something.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 27/12/2021 18:42

This is a standard thing arsehole men say that has nothing to do with weight.

Years ago I was on a phone call at work to a highly disgruntled male customer (who I'd never met) and he called me a 'fucking fat bitch' - having no idea what I looked like or weighed.

1forAll74 · 27/12/2021 18:43

I wouldn't be crying, or getting upset at all, I would just be wondering why there are such foul mouthed, ignorant, and ill mannered men in the world.

ComDummings · 27/12/2021 18:43

As a PP said men always go for ‘fat’ when they want to insult a woman. They know that’s the word that will hurt even a slim a woman. Please don’t let this arsehole get to you.

Knittedfairies · 27/12/2021 18:45

I suspect that if you were so thin you were transparent, he would have said the same thing; he has a very limited vocabulary. Size 14 is not fat; find something to eat, enjoy it, and forget about the Neanderthal next door.

UnsuitableHat · 27/12/2021 18:45

Nothing to do with your weight and everything to do with his personality. At least you’re not him.

foreverlove · 27/12/2021 18:46

This reminds me of an abusive nearby neighbour (who thankfully a job relocation took us far away from) who used to scream at me that I was fat and ugly, and scream 'fatty' at me. There was also another neighbour nearby who yelled similar verbal abuse at me whenever she saw me. Long story but the first neighbour had been reported to the council for bonfire nuisances, somehow decided it was me who reported her and made threats of violence to the point we had to call the police. She was cautioned but still kept up the abuse when she saw me on my own. So glad to be away from her.

Inthesameboatatmo · 27/12/2021 18:46

You need to start keeping a detailed diary of events , record noise on your phone ,videos of walls being banged on that kind of he has verbally abused and insulted you. He a wanker and don't let him get away with it.

lesenfantsdelesperance · 27/12/2021 18:50

He is a disgusting human being.
I can imagine how upset you are though.
I bet he's no oil painting.
But whatever he looks like, he's shown that he's an ignorant, pathetic excuse for a man, who goes for an insult because he knows that he is in the wrong. By insulting you, he's shown that you were right. He had no comeback, no justification for disturbing you, so he went for the easy hit. He's pathetic and his comment says everything about him and nothing about you.

BeetyAxe · 27/12/2021 18:53

It’s got nothing to do with your weight, it’s to do with him being a bastard, end of story. Wash your face, have a drink and don’t give the fucker another thought.

beastlyslumber · 27/12/2021 18:53

What an absolute piece of shit your neighbour is. I'm so sorry OP. As pp have said, his opinion is completely worthless. Please don't let him shame you. You are perfectly fine and a way, way, WAY better person than he is, let's face it!

As pp also said, start keeping a noise diary. Call the council and police if he keeps going. Is there someone who can come and sit with you for a couple of hours this evening?

Cuddlemuffin · 27/12/2021 19:00

Firstly, he sounds like a horrible person...you are better than him and his pathetic name calling. Secondly, size 14 is not fat. Could you speak to the council or police (sorry can't advise as I don't have experience of this) bit I suggest that you avoid speaking with him directly again to avoid further abuse. Hope you're okay OP, don't let him ruin your evening x

Heepers · 27/12/2021 19:02

As many others have said, it's a generic insult used by horrible men. I've been called fat before and I'm definitely not but it upset me because most women have a thing about their weight (hence why it's an effective insult). Size 14 is not fat.

RedCandyApple · 27/12/2021 19:04

Just remember most peoples go to insult is “fat” I was called fat when I had a go at a man who pushed in front of me in the queue a few months back, he screamed at me calling me fat, it’s just an easy go to insult. I am fat I must admit but that doesn’t make it ok; but I was also called fat when I was a size 12! So there you go

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/12/2021 19:05

Christ only knows what he’d say about me…. But fat would definitely come into it.

Like others have said, it is the pathetic retort of a man without the intelligence to speak to you properly,

I’m ex forces and have worked in mostly male environments nearly all of my life. Someone would only ever use that insult once to me. (And I was far from fat then).

Easier said than done OP but don’t let it hurt you any more.

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