Dh and takeaways

[NotMyselfWithoutCoffee]

Anyone with binge eating disorder/depression struggle because your dp encourages bad habits?

Just a rant really, I've tried going on a health kick multiple times and it's always the same cycle.
I lose weight, dh pesters to order takeaway, I say no, dh sulks because we have no food in the house/had a bad day whatever. We order food and no matter how much I try to limit I pile all my weight back on because it's unhealthy and my body is very slow at losing.

I don't and can't cook to save my life and we both work full time so we split the chores down the middle and dh cooks, we are usually happy this way. Sometimes when I suggest he picks something over the shop that works, but we usually order 2-4 takeaways a month simply because he cba to cook or I have an off day myself.

For some reason this always undoes my weight loss progress and I give up or fall off the wagon because I cbf anymore.
I had a stomach bug recently and lost half a stone, since eating normally and having one takeaway it's all gone back on, I give up...

Try something like Gousto? They're really easy to do so I'm sure you could make one of those on nights he doesn't want to cook. Or stock up on healthy ready meals like the FIIT Kitchen ones

Also I don't eat a lot normally.. I have either one meal a day or one meal and a small lunch or snack but I'm hardly eating 1000s calories a day.
Think my metabolism is broken.

Have you had your thyroid checked? Worth a shot.

Weight loss requires a calorie deficit of 3,500 calories a week to lose 1lb of fat. So if you're eating in a deficit most days but then eat 2,000 calories in one sitting at a takeaway then you won't lose that 1lb.

Sadly that's just how it works.

Can you change the way you eat takeaway? Take what you’d normally eat and have half, so you still get the ‘hit’ of takeaway loveliness without the massive calorie hit? Have the other half the next night -this works with curry and Chinese food, less well with Pizza… small fish, light batter, throw half the chips in the bin, or steal 10-12 of DH’s chips? You can’t live a life without some treats and maybe a tweak might be more sustainable than wholesale bans?

Are you sure two to four takeaways is month is making you pile the weight on? On the background of eating healthily, that shouldn’t totally derail your weight loss, even if it goes more slowly.

I had my thyroid checked a year ago and it was "normal".
I have considered hormonal issues because of various reasons (hairier after pregnancy and my waning eyebrows) but think maybe I'm just unlucky.
I did look at the meal order things but most of them are really expensive. We do need to stock up on ready meals but no freezer space at the moment with Christmas around the corner!
New year's resolutions obviously going to be weight loss lol!

Change your order. Cook boiled rice to go with it? Go out while he eats? Start cooking straight away. I can't cook, but do a quick stir fry. We got into making healthier curries. That was nice. Just chucked loads of nice stuff in. Eat naked. Wear your favourite clothes that are too tight. It's shit, op. I can't budge mine and it's getting ridiculous. I wonder if I have an underlying condition but I'm just a greedy 🐖

@whataday21

It must be the takeaways as I do lose weight when I'm not having them albeit very very slowly.
I know the solution but it's hard watching other people live their lives and eat what they want and you have to moderate every meal.
I literally have to fast to lose anything now.

In an old MN cliche...

Can you read?
Can you use the internet?

Then you can cook.

Why don't you choose a simple dish that you enjoy and learn how to cook it. Take control! It's not your DH's fault that you eat takeaway, it's yours.

If you learnt how to cook 2 things you could have those instead when he doesn't want to cook.

2-4 takeaways a months aren't what piles weight on, it's the eating habits you have all day every day. And those can't really be blamed on your dh getting takeaways. What kind of food does your dh cook? Do you have lots of unhealthy snacks in the house etc? Anyone can cook if they just follow simple recipes - start easy wjust a couple of dishes you can have regularly and get confident at making.

I can see where you’re coming from but i don’t think it’s fair to not expect your DH to eat takeaways just because you cant. With some take away you can find healthier options and if not then can’t he pick you up a healthy ready meal and he has a takeaway. I think you’re being quite defeatist saying you can’t and won’t cook; I heavily dislike cooking but I do make myself healthy very simple meals.

"I can't cook" is a very poor excuse. It's time to learn to cook, and stop blaming someone else for weight gain. And I say that as a 20st woman on Slimming World.

Get a Gousto box for a one off, see what you make of it. I get them once a fortnight max and keep the recipe cards. We then meal plan from those cards and make things again.

If you wanted to try it, it's a great way to learn to cook. A referral code will get you 60% off your first box and then 30% off any additional boxes for your first month. Worth a go even just for a one off as it'll be about £12ish for 4 meals depending on what recipes you pick.

cook.gousto.co.uk/raf?promo_code=ALLIS33205208&utm_source=androidapp

Two things:

1. Change your order. I even managed to have takeaways while I had gestational diabetes while still keeping blood sugars in check. You need to cut out or massively reduce the carbs and you'll be ok. So instead of a chicken korma with rice and naan, if we were ordering Indian I'd get some chicken tandoori skewers, a saag paneer and half half a chapatti or one poppadom with that. You also feel much less stuffed afterwards.

2. I have some sympathy with your OH. I sort all the cooking/food in our house and we have 2 children as well and honestly the amount of emotional and physical Labour of it drives me insane. Me and DH have a takeaway about once a fortnight, sometimes once a week, because on those days I literally have nothing left to give and cannot be arsed. If you want to reduce spending and calories on takeaways then you need to take over some of the responsibility for food (not just making it, but thinking about it and sorting ingredients)

It may not be the takeaway calories itself, they are usually heavy in salt and that makes our bodies retain water. The next day after a takeaway try and drink lots of water and do a detox and it should correct itself

I would say to learn to cook, Delia's complete how to cook would be a great place to start.

If dh wants a takeaway then that's fine, he can have one, you don't want one, you have something else. I don't understand the sulking and whathaveyou.

What are you eating on the days you’re not having take away?

You will have to start going to the gym to burn extra calories, eat specific foods that speed metabolism and more sleep if possible.

I don't and can't cook to save my life and we both work full time so we split the chores down the middle and dh cooks
I’m not surprised he wants to get a takeaway every now and then if he has to cook 100% of the time.

Put in the effort to learn 4-5 meals and cook once a week. Have the meals on rotation over the month. You can do something very simple like jacket potato, it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece.

I'm sorry but this is your issue, not your DHs. A take away a week or a fortnight is a normal way of eating. One take away a week isn't undoing all your hard work, it may be that it's triggering you to binge, but that's not the fault of DH or the takeaway.

It's also really unfair to expect DH to cook for you because you don't want a takeaway when he does.

21 meals in every week.

1 "bad" one isn't your issue.

You need to eat enough also so your body doesn't go into starvation mode.

I find if I eat takeaway or have alcohol I crave carbs and and find I eat a load of crap for a few days.
I think you have to keep a food diary for a few weeks and write everything down.
Having a food diary makes you accountable as the buck stops with you and no one else.

You have to want to lose and keep the weight off.

@pinkgin85

It may not be the takeaway calories itself, they are usually heavy in salt and that makes our bodies retain water. The next day after a takeaway try and drink lots of water and do a detox and it should correct itself

This. If you are getting a jump in weight the day after a takeaway (which may even last another day) and assuming the diet has failed then you are making a mistake. I put on at least 3lb the day after a Chinese meal, even if the calories are within my limits.

You really can't blame this on your husband. What do you do when he's away or unwell, starve?

Just make yourself something to eat.

Your DP sounds unsupportive, but I suppose one option is to have better takeaways?

I understand it’s hard if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, but counselling may be needed as temptations will always be there.

Chicken shaslik or mixed grill at the Indian
Dry ribs and egg too young at the chinese, or a sensible portion of noodles and meat
Chicken doner meat and salad
Have 3 slices of the dominos then stop, go and do something to distract yourself or have a mindfulness task
Thai food is generally pretty healthy if you don’t OD on rice
Sushi?

Me and DP eat loads of takeaways due to time constraints, but try and have a healthier option. We also only order what we need even if more if cheaper, so no one is eating half a dominos for lunch that day instead of a salad

As some pone who has struggled to lose over 3 stone in the last 18 months I can believe that the takeaways make you pile on the weight. In my 20s this would not have been the case, but now in the middle of menopause weight loss is really hard for me and I cannot deviate with takeaways or meals out without gaining. I accept that but hormones absolutely can affect these things. My thyroid etc have all come back fine so no other problems except my hormones being all over the place.
I would hate to have my husband derail my efforts this way but luckily he is very supportive.

However, I think you have a bit of a cheek just saying you can’t cook and expecting him to do all the meals. You are perfectly capable of learning to cook some simple dishes and if you aren’t willing to put that effort in to help yourself then you can’t expect your husband to put in the effort by cooking every day. To quote MN, if you can read, you can cook. I taught myself to cook and if you start with a couple of simple dishes then you can build from there.