Dh and takeaways

[NotMyselfWithoutCoffee]

Anyone with binge eating disorder/depression struggle because your dp encourages bad habits?

Just a rant really, I've tried going on a health kick multiple times and it's always the same cycle.
I lose weight, dh pesters to order takeaway, I say no, dh sulks because we have no food in the house/had a bad day whatever. We order food and no matter how much I try to limit I pile all my weight back on because it's unhealthy and my body is very slow at losing.

I don't and can't cook to save my life and we both work full time so we split the chores down the middle and dh cooks, we are usually happy this way. Sometimes when I suggest he picks something over the shop that works, but we usually order 2-4 takeaways a month simply because he cba to cook or I have an off day myself.

For some reason this always undoes my weight loss progress and I give up or fall off the wagon because I cbf anymore.
I had a stomach bug recently and lost half a stone, since eating normally and having one takeaway it's all gone back on, I give up...

Can you post what you have eaten over the past few days? Maybe we can help you to refocus on loosing weight. I am losing weight steadily on Weight watchers but if you saw what I ate you would think I ate loads. I choose wisely.

*someone!

What does your health kick involve?

And it is DRAINING to have to cook and prepare meals every day. I have recently handed over one meal to my daughter and one to DH. You can cook it isnt hard to create simple easy meals at all.

Ready meals as well are full of sugar and salt and arent going to add weight loss more than creating a simple pasta or stir fry

Slimming World. You’ll learn how to cook from scratch and eat healthily. They have lots of good ‘fakeaway’ options. I have lost 2 stone this year (from 12.5 to 10.5) and consistently lose 1-2 lbs a week.

One takeaway doesn’t need to mean the end of your weight loss though - we have one every couple of weeks and I factor it into my planning.

The weight you lost from having a stomach bug was mostly water - the body will always put this back on as you get better. The takeaway’s not to blame here!

You need to learn to cook. Or go to the supermarket and have food in the house so you can make something easy when DH gets takeaways (which I would absolutely want to do once a week I had to make all the meals)

Baked beans with cheese
Omelette
Rye bread with peanut butter
Salad with meat
Baked potato with tuna
Soup and toast

All easy & satisfying & none should throw you off track if everything else is ticking over

I managed to stop getting takaways a couole of months ago but hasn't made a difference. Not done anything to compensate as far as I'm aware. Can't understand it.

It’s tricky OP when you’re tempted by DH. I have this a lot and he’s working from home too. Like I’m fasting today and he just came down and cooked himself fish and chips for lunch and now the whole house smells like chips 😢 it’s hard but you just have to let him do his own thing and not eat what he does. My DH is always saying “let’s get a curry!” Sometimes I tell him to just get it for him while I eat something lame on my own :( othertimes I say yes but just order vegetables and rice and drain off the fat from the veg.

Problem with us is we used to both be very thin and able to eat anything. But now I’m perimenopausal my metabolism has slowed right down and I’ve piled on weight. Meanwhile DH is thin as a rake and actively trying not to lose any more weight. We just can’t eat the same stuff anymore :(

If your takeaways involve large amounts (even a chicken korma plus rice and naan bread is likely to be around 2,000 calories) then I can absolutely believe that would undo any calorie deficit achieved over the rest of the week.

If you want to change this, then you need to take responsibility for your own diet - which means cooking for yourself, and setting yourself up for success. A hard day might mean a healthy ready meal from the freezer, or an easy supper of a small baked potato with baked beans. A fortnightly takeaway might mean sushi - a 6 piece roll, with edamame and salad. There’s no need for it to be all or nothing.

I've always avoided noting what I eat in cade I'm horrified, but may have to start.

I'm thinking it's binging on sausages and hot dogs, chips, pasta, which I've managed to avoid buying lately.

I do miss a big sausage but really want the scales to be nice to me for a change so hopefully I can refrain.

Most of that post stomach bug half stone will have been dehydration and weight in your digestive system, ie not real weight loss. As soon as you are and drank anything without it leaving your system fast you were going to regain that weight.

Slow and steady is the only way to do it.

I think your diet of ready meals is more at fault than the takeaways. They’re full of fat and sugar and the portions are misleading.

You say you can’t cook - literally anyone can cook. I speak as a completely average, run-of-the-mill cook who has learned to do it because of my kids and wanting them to eat relatively healthy meals. There’s nothing to a stir fry or pasta dish, or roast chicken. I think if you’re honest with yourself you know that you could cook if you really wanted to. You will save so much money as well as losing weight.

Batch cooking will be your friend. Take a Sunday and batch cook a load of chili with low fat mince and freeze it, same for bolognese/ pasta sauces etc.

Hearty chicken and veg stews/ soups. Curries. It’s really not that difficult. But perhaps you’ve built it up as such in your mind.

Maybe he gets sick of cooking all the time and the takeaway is a break from that?

You saying you 'can't cook' isn't true. You can follow a recipe. Step 1-Cut up onion -2- fry in pan -3- add meat etc... it's not difficult. You'll just need to have the ingredients ready and be willing to crack on with it each night even if you really don't want to (and I say that as a pretty unenthusiastic cook myself).

And if all else fails, scrambled eggs on toast/with mushrooms is always a winner (in my house).

So there’s a lot in your post so here’s a few thoughts on some of it:

1. I went to some OA, ABA and EDA meetings last year to help with eating disorders. The whole twelve step thing wasn’t for me as a whole but I got one life changing piece of advice from one speaker.

For bulimia, if you want to stop bingeing, stop purging. For binge eating, if you want to stop bingeing, stop restricting.

Sounds counter intuitive, but it really worked for me given a little time.

When they say “stop restricting” they mean “eat as much as you need to sate your hunger”, so basically don’t deny yourself food or leave yourself hungry. But don’t eat past that either. It might take a while to get in touch with that balance. Your body will rebel and fight being harshly controlled.

1. You need to learn to cook. It will change your relationship with food hugely if you can cook for yourself, start learning a bit about things like cooking techniques and nutrition. Also, I have been the spouse who does all the cooking and it does wear thin, I’m not surprised he wants takeaways regularly. Everyone needs a night off sometimes, no matter how much they love cooking.

1. Let your body recover after your bug. Don’t view it as a way to kickstart a new diet.

Its annoying, it always seems like the day you start a diet is the day your dp comes home with a load of crisps and ice cream and says they are ordering a take away. Always happens!

However you do have options. Getting a small/healthier take away. Having take away but then getting right back on the diet horse, have a slice of pizza but don't follow it up with biscuits, chocolate, ice cream and the same the next day because "I've blown it anyway".

Cooking - you can cook, anyone can. Cooking doesn't have to be being a chef with 100 ingredients and obscure cooking techniques. It can be as simple as opening a bag of salad, tub of cherry tomatoes and a can of tuna. There are so many nice preprepared supermarket options now, not just ready meals. There is marinated meat that you just put in the oven, soup (heat in microwave), stir fry packs, etc.

He probably can't be arsed to cook everyday, I wouldn't either! You say you can't cook, but there are plenty of simple dishes, even some that you literally just bung in the oven and then take out after the amount of time it says on the box. Although it's probably not all that's contributing to your weight, share the cooking and it'll probably be less tempting. You can also make reasonable choices from most takeaways.

Can't cook isn't an excuse! I understand about the takeaways as my DH is the same.

Simple meals that you can cook

Scrambled eggs on toast
Beans on toast
Pesto and pasta with salad
Any meat (sausages, chicken, etc) with micro rice and salad / veg

Buy shortcuts that are healthy

Microwave rice
Frozen rice
Frozen steamed veg
Pasta stir in sauces
Bags of salad

Buy stuff you can cook in oven

Sausages
Chicken legs
Lamb chops

Now to go and take my own advice!