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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Someone made a cruel comment and it's knocked me

46 replies

Lifesadream78 · 01/06/2021 12:53

Hello, recently joined Slimming World as I need to lose about 5 stone. Been unhappy for a long time but finally decided to make the change. I'm now on week 2 after joining when our local group reopened and lost 4lbs so far which I'm quite pleased with. I know I have a long way to go and trying very hard to stay motivated. Well to cut a long story short a cousin of my mum's said "well my God, that will take some shifting, won't it?"

I was gobsmacked, still can't believe it. It's really shaken me and now I feel like I'm on an uphill battle and I'll never get there. I need some words of encouragement or a kick up the bum ! I'd never dream of being so rude to someone!

OP posts:
Swallowridge · 01/06/2021 12:56

She was not very eloquent - well done in making the decision and puting it in to action. It will take a long time - losing weight is a long slow slog of being good pretty much all the time. I'm in the middle of that journey atm myself! She said as much but, yes, not very politely.

Bluntness100 · 01/06/2021 12:59

Yes that was blunt and rude, I’m sorry you’re upset by it

The reality is you can give up and stay this size or you can keep going and in six months time you’ll have last three and a half stone, assuming an average of two pounds a week. And you’ll only have a few weeks to go to get to target, every day you stick to it uou get smaller.

So no it won’t take some shifting, you’ll be there soon enough.

BlueDaises · 01/06/2021 13:00

That was a disgusting and cruel comment to make to you. Did anyone pull them up for it?
Please fo not let ignorant vile people treat you this way, you are allowed to respond to horrid people. Even if its to say Oh Do Fuck Off Dear. 🌺

LuvMyBubbles · 01/06/2021 13:09

Ignore. Focus on you and your goals. Your cousin is a twat!

Twinkie01 · 01/06/2021 13:10

Make that dreadful comment your ammunition to spur you forward and show them that you can do it.

You can do it, well done on taking the first steps.

MrsBennetsnerves · 01/06/2021 13:10

It's hard to ignore unkindness but I wouldn't let it affect your plans for weight loss either way. In terms of motivation, it gets easier after a few weeks when you get into a routine and more lbs start to come off.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 01/06/2021 13:16

The best revenge is a life lived well - think how much you'll enjoy saying "in your face" when you see them after your successful weight loss Grin

Sorry you were spoken to like that Flowers may their next poo be a hedgehog Angry

SwedishEdith · 01/06/2021 13:19

Did she say it to you or has your mum relayed it?

Melitza · 01/06/2021 13:27

Keep going and in 6 months time be sure to flaunt the new you in their face.
And then ignore them.
Also how did you hear this comment? If it was repeated to you by family then they are cruel too.
My dbil delighted in telling dh that his df had said he looked fat.
5 years later dh is slim and toned and dbil is fat!
I have never forgiven dbil though, it cut my dh to the quick at a time when his mh was awful.

PurpleMustang · 01/06/2021 13:35

Well if she did say it she was damn rude. If your Mum relayed it, why?, did she really need to or does she think this is and 'speaking' her thoughts through someone else. Set yourself small goals and if it helps a reward at the end of each one. For 5 stone you could do 5 steps or 10 if feels more manageable. And just watch out for those that may try to sabotage your efforts. Some people don't like the norms to change and will want you to stay the same

ColaOlaLa · 01/06/2021 13:37

Well it’s true, I wouldn’t let it get me down tbh I have the same to lose and I know it’s not going to just fall off

cockroachcrumble12 · 01/06/2021 13:42

Just a small tip of what I have been doing, I am trying to lose a bit of weight I drink 2 cups of green tea a day and that has been helping me.

Dizzy1234 · 01/06/2021 13:44

Ignore stupid comments and stick with slimming world.
I lost a shit load of weight doing slimming World , I still use their recipes, I found I started losing 2lb a week and as the weight starting coming off I had more energy, I did more exercise and some weeks I lost 5lb.
People are so tactless, keep going, I'm cheering you on!

Original poster
Lifesadream78 · 01/06/2021 13:44

Thank you all for your kinds words . I've been on plan 100% since joining so feeling pleased with my progress so far even though it's very early days but feeling better for it knowing that I'm eating much more healthily. It's just a setback I didn't need or expect. She said it directly to me, I was so shocked I didn't know how to react and just said "oh ok well erm thanks for that" . My mum wasn't there at the time but she is disgusted with her for saying it. I did SW back in 2012 and was successful on it so hoping this time round I will be again. It's thoughtlessness at its best !

OP posts:
SunnySideDownBriefly · 01/06/2021 13:47

She's really fucking rude and horrible. Just remember that and keep your distance from her. You don't have to value her input and, if this is the way she generally speaks, I am sure she has many opinions that you don't agree with so what she says is of zero value to you.

You're on a journey now - it doesn't matter how long it takes because it's moving in the direction you want it to. Well done on your first 4 lbs and don't get discouraged by anyone. You're doing this for you and whatever other personal reasons you have.

Original poster
Lifesadream78 · 01/06/2021 13:48

Mum didn't relay it , sorry if I didn't make it clear in the OP. She said it directly to me herself.
I'll try the green tea thanks

OP posts:
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 01/06/2021 13:49

What a total cow! There’s no need to be so rude. Don’t let her put you off - it is worth doing this, for physical and mental health reasons, for confidence reasons, to make exercise easier, to find it easier to buy clothes, whatever you like!

Calmdown14 · 01/06/2021 13:51

There was no need for the comment but how you react to it is down to you.
Own it. Print it out and stick it on the fridge and every time you resist temptation stick two fingers up at it.
It might take some shifting but the hardest part of getting up a hill is setting off and you've done that.
You know in yourself you are doing well so don't let anyone try a detail you.
People are strange about weight and generally it probably has more to do with how they feel than anything about you

Watchingthetelly · 01/06/2021 13:54

What a mean thing to say!! Best of luck with making the change and proving her wrong.

bert3400 · 01/06/2021 13:56

As others have said use it to as ammunition. Get angry, but use it to make positive change. I would be like "fuck you, just you wait, you utter gobby twat" . I would get some boxing gloves and pin her picture up ....and box her face in Grin

AnnaCharles888 · 01/06/2021 14:01

@Lifesadream78
You're making progress. This is really great!

I understand it makes you feel like you're in an uphill battle, but it doesn't have to. You get to think whatever you like about your weight loss. You get to choose whatever you think about someone else's comment. Because all thoughts are optional.

Instead of thinking "oh this is going to be harder than I thought" (which probably makes you feel deflated) I would go to something like "I've lost 4lbs so far!' (which probably makes you feel committed and positive).

Hope this helps...

quizqueen · 01/06/2021 14:14

I don't get it. People are vey overweight, they admit they are overweight themselves and then are shocked when other people also think they are overweight too.

I'm fat, too, BTW, and if anyone says it too, I know it's the truth. l'm just not the sort to take offence and run to an online website about it. A lot of weight will take a long time to lose so cousin was stating a fact and it will be even harder to maintain the weight lost but totally worth it. I've done it before then reverted to old ways and put more on besides. No one to blame but myself and now, pushing 70, lacking in motivation. My doctor told me I had to lose weight as I have bad knees. I wasn't offended in the slightest because it was the TRUTH.

CaraherEIL · 01/06/2021 14:18

She is an undermining bitch. You have started OP and that is a big part of the battle, Try if you can to use it to fuel the fire. Either way I think you’ll shift your weight more easily than she will ever shift her shitty attitude. It’s not an uphill battle it’s a downhill battle you are at the peak of where you don’t want to be it’s running down the hill to the beach!!
From where you are, doing what you are doing you can only achieve positive things. Also you will start to feel great well before you get to goal, you will start to feel a hint of glee when you get the first stone off and that’s pretty close already- Good luck lovely. x

PleasantBirthday · 01/06/2021 14:19

Some people are just very rude and thoughtless. Don't let their problems affect you.

Well done on your success so far!

Eviebeans · 01/06/2021 14:20

Eventually you'll be slimmer - but she'll still be a cow