Someone made a cruel comment and it's knocked me

[Lifesadream78]

Hello, recently joined Slimming World as I need to lose about 5 stone. Been unhappy for a long time but finally decided to make the change. I'm now on week 2 after joining when our local group reopened and lost 4lbs so far which I'm quite pleased with. I know I have a long way to go and trying very hard to stay motivated. Well to cut a long story short a cousin of my mum's said "well my God, that will take some shifting, won't it?"

I was gobsmacked, still can't believe it. It's really shaken me and now I feel like I'm on an uphill battle and I'll never get there. I need some words of encouragement or a kick up the bum ! I'd never dream of being so rude to someone!

@quizqueen I'm not offended by being told , I already know I'm fat and obese hence the reason I'm taking steps to do something about it by joining SW. It was her rudeness out of nowhere that shocked me. I don't think anyone deserves to be spoken to like that, regardless of their size/appearance. If the doctor had said it I'd have said yes I agree but I don't it was her place to give her opinion and especially so rudely. If I saw a fellow obese person I wouldn't say anything or make comments.

Don't let this cruel ignorant woman derail you. Is she perfect? I'm sure she isn't. Pity her for the fact that she gets so much satisfaction from making mean remarks like that.

If its any consolation when I weighed just 8 stone, I had equally rude family members tell me I was overweight/ugly. I wasn't at all but it really knocked my confidence. Im telling you this to illustrate that stupid ignorant people who enjoy putting others down will always find some perceived "weakness" to comment on. So just shrug it off and don't give her head space.

Its far better not to discuss your weightloss plans with anyone other than those you completely trust or you will always get people's ignorant comments on your progress and it just takes over the headspace that should be focusing on your plans.

Your weight and your weightloss plans is no one else's business and I'd be absolutely blunt with this woman and tell her that, on repeat. Or keep out of her way all together.
Its great that you've got a group to help you and easier if you just share your triumphs and disasters with the group.

Success is the best revenge and you sound very motivated. Weightloss can never be overnight which is why comments like hers are so pointless. But take it week by week and you will get there. Good luck!

If someone told me they were trying to lose weight I'd respond with something like "hope it goes well/good luck/well done you" not something discouraging and rude.

@Eviebeans summed it up brilliantly.

Thank you all, it's good to have different perspectives. It's made me want to carry on tenfold now. Nice weather helps with getting out for walks..I'm not much of a runner due to an old leg injury but love walking so that's what I plan to do a lot of.

Yes I agree with pp, I found it better not to tell people, now I never tell people if I’m trying to lose weight, the amount of people that just decided to randomly comment on what I was eating was enough for me to know not to tell anyone, I would frequently get “aren’t you on a diet?!” anytime I ate anything

It’s an awful comment. However, she is right, it’s going to take some, it’s hard losing weight and when you have a lot to loose it means it’s going too take longer and she probably means she recognises how hard it would be for anyone to take on the task.

Maybe she did say it in malice but maybe she said it in sympathy because she knows she wouldn’t manage it?

It’s a journey and it takes time, some of it will be shit, but just keep going!

Losing five and a half stone took me about 9 months of super committed effort.

Horrible thing to say to you.

Well done for making a good start OP. Keep going and it will be worth it

Not a nice comment. It could have been said without thinking or she could be jealous for some reason and want to bring you down. It's a shame that it's taken the wind out of your sails, but I think you can get past it and still do a great job.

Can I make a suggestion?

I have found that having a Fitbit has really helped motivate me with walking more, so would recommend one or something similar to help get you moving as well.

Good luck OP I'm sure you will smash it

@Lifesadream78 A good retort might have been "not as much as your ignorance, clearly"

Rude, unpleasant, unnecessary, uncaring, unsupportive etc etc.

Good luck on your plan x

What a thoughtless nasty piece of work she sounds!!!
Thing is op you can loose your weight and look absolutely stunning. She is always going to have no manners, no social decorum, and by sounds of it pretty thick!!
You can do it, don’t let the likes of such a sad act put you off!!!

'Well I'll be slimmer soon but you'll still be horrible.'

I keep a few bags of sugar in a cupboard to remind me of what 2lbs feels like.. because you can lose moral quickly but that bag of sugar soon perks me up..

wishing you the best of luck OP 🌹

That was a very thoughtless, mean spirited comment.

Well done on your start, don’t let her put you off. Of course you can lose the weight. 7 lbs at a time, break it into chunks. I have 2 stone to lose and am walking like you, I admire the runners but feel too heavy (big bust) for running. Sending you lots of luck.

Well it's not a comment a happy person would come out with is it ?
Try not to give her head space .

She's awful, I don't understand why people think its fair game to discuss people's weight. My DH is 20kg down with SW and he still has a very long way to go but much more energy, stopped snoring, buying new clothes. Every day is a new day with dieting, great to not let her negativity get in to your headspace. Best community ivr found for weight loss is reddit /loseit there are some Americans who have lost a significant amount of weight and its v inspiring.

Whenever someone is making a positive change in their life, it seems so common for someone else to feel the need to take a swipe at them, often someone who is close to them.

I guess it makes them feel better about their own life to take someone down a peg. Or maybe they fear that other person won't need them anymore if they get themselves together more. Who knows. Ugly, for sure.

@BigHeadBertha I agree. It's an odd conundrum, as though there's a finite amount of good news to go around and if someone else is doing well that means there must be less than everyone else.

@Lifesadream78 Just keep going. I think it sounds as though you're doing brilliantly. Only worry about what you think about yourself.

Thank you ❤️

Please reconsider Slimming World. Just google SW controversy.