Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

So I've managed to lose another 3lbs since Tuesday. 17 stone 3lbs now! Woohoo! I somehow lost 3lbs in 4 days! Maybe I'm on track to losing 10lbs in 3 weeks after all. I'm amazed. I haven't drank alcohol this week and the weight seems to be melting off without really trying. Just wow

And I went to Miller and Carter on Thursday. Starter, Steak and salad (just no chips) and peppercorn sauce. Then a few table teaspoons of my DP's Nicker Bicker Glory dessert 😅

Bocker*

Well done @BippityBoppity87 ! Steak is tempting. I've put on a lb, but I'm on my monthly which always puts on weight.

70.7kg today. Finally out of the 80's.. I'm a tiny smidgen over BMI 30 still.... I need to get under 79.5kg to break that one. Hopefully next week...

Oh dear god.... what is wrong with my fingers....
I'm 79.7kg today....

alphaechokiwi woo hoo! That's a long awaited and well deserved milestone!

Does that mean that you're ordering the skirt you wanted today?

BippityBoppity87 well done - nothing unhealthy about steak and salad though, thats a pretty near perfect main meal of the day without chips!

Thanks @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme - it has been long awaited!!!! A few bumps in the road recently but it's a significant milestone for me. I've had 'all or nothing' tendencies with dieting in the past. Once I'd slipped up I would just give up. But this time it's different. I'm being very careful with my mindset. I've had loads of blips and wobbles and gains.... But it doesn't matter.....I'm here for the long haul and I won't be deflected by inevitable setbacks.

I've actually gone off that skirt, so saved myself a few ££££. I've ordered a swimsuit from the Toast sale instead

Well done @alphaechokiwi - that is a fantastic achievement! Enjoy your new swimsuit!

I've had a small gain this week, unfortunately. 500g up. So not too much. I did have a look at my food diary and there were a few puddings! I think as I've been a bit more active (have had two days with more than 6000 steps this week) I thought a little bit of a treat would be fine. Obviously had a few too many treats!

I had asked my wife to buy me some cookies when she went shopping yesterday, but after weighing myself I asked her instead to get me some celebrations! Previously I was having one after my evening meal and it was enough to satisfy my craving for something sweet.

I am feeling a bit discouraged to be honest. I might have a look back at some of my weeks where I've done well and see what is different.

That's disappointing for you @ScottishBeth - although at least it's only a small gain. I think exercise does lull us into a false sense of security sometimes. I hope making those tweaks with the treats will pay off for you this week.

ScottishBeth that's such a small gain it's within the "fluctuation" bracket and easy to get rid of in afew days. Gains like that can just be water retention - I find if I've done significantly more exercise than usual I sometimes do retain water the next day or two, but the benefit is longer term in building lean muscle which burns more calories even at rest than fat does IMO. Also I think "eating the extra calories" you've burned through exercise (the whole gross and net calories thing) doesn't work because our bodies/ metabolism don't actually work like an algorithm. It certainly doesn't work for weight loss - maybe for maintenance.

It's a good idea to look again at what exactly you are eating though - every time I get relaxed about processed carbohydrates I have a small gain. This week we went on a picnic on Saturday lunch time and I ate a slice of homemade cake, a homemade sausage roll and pasta salad, then I ate pasta again yesterday and went back for a small second helping - today I stood on the scales and weigh 500g more than I did on Thursday. I'm an idiot because I know thats what processed carbohydrates do! They also make me significantly hungrier an gour after eating them, so I have this false feeling I've "resisted" snacking when hungry so should have lost weight not gained - but actually I've screwed my body up (on a very minor level) and thrown my hunger guage out by eating the crap (and even delicious homemade food can basically be crap if you're putting white flour and refined sugar into the mixing bowl ) which causes blood sugar to peak and crash, causing artificial feelings of hunger. I think understanding that this is happening is more important than never eating the crap though - if you understand it then you don't feel helpless and can decide to take the hit occasionally then work your way back.

Honestly I often weigh 500g more one morning than the previous and it's gone again next day. Its important not to let this hit your mood and discourage you disproportionately - don't catastrophise!

Hi all, I've been having a read through the thread and would like to join in! I hope that's okay!!

I started my weight loss journey on the 9th of June this year and my starting weight was 18 stone 10.5 pounds at 5'2 . I had just found out I likely have PCOS so that has spurred me on as I want to have children in a few years. I started Slimming World and have lost 1 stone 4.5 pounds which I'm chuffed with. After the first couple of weeks following SW I decided to count my calories instead as I was finding SW quite restrictive when not at home. My decision was made when I had a bit of brown bread at my boyfriends as he didn't have wholemeal and I felt sooo guilty. I then realised that was ridiculous! I'm still going to my SW group for the support and I find that being weighed by someone else keeps me accountable.

After counting my calories all week I lost 7.5 pounds last week and was over the moon! I weigh in on Wednesdays so had a check this morning and the scales haven't budged despite staying within my calorie allowance every day. Any ideas why this could be? I'll put my hands up and say I've had chocolate as a snack rather than fruit a few days over the last week but I haven't gone over my calorie goal so I'm wondering does it matter what you eat as long as you stay within your calories?! Also, I know women can struggle to lose around their periods... due to my ovaries I haven't had a period in ages but I'm wondering could my body still be going through some sort of cycle?

Trying not to feel too demotivated but it's hard as I was feeling so proud about my previous losses!

Hi @DazzlingHaze - welcome! You're off to a flying start. It's frustrating when the scales don't reflect the week you've had. I think on this thread we've all experienced that. Weight loss is complex, and for a myriad of reasons you can sometimes stall or even gain when you've had a calorie deficit. But over the longer term, you will lose if you continue with what you are doing. Individual days and weeks may vary but over months it will all work out.

I've lost 7lbs in 17 days, which is good. Sometimes you just plateau @DazzlingHaze

Hi everyone, I'd like to join if you don't mind. I'm 36yo and 1.63 metres tall. I started trying to lose weight on 3rd May, when I weighed 101.8kg (BMI 38.3). I lost 9lbs/4kg really quickly and then got a bit stuck, so I decided to start logging calories on the Fitbit app on Saturday and it was an eye opener to say the least! I went to a birthday party and felt I'd been quite restrained and eaten sensibly for the rest of the day. My calories came in at 3,500 for the day!!! It's really no wonder I am so heavy if that's my idea of not overeating... I have always been obese as an adult (apart from 18 months when I was overweight, 15 years ago) and think I was from about age 2. However, I used to weigh 82.3 with a BMI of around 31 until five years ago. I became a teacher and moved somewhere where I can't cycle and my weight ballooned to around 93kg, and I've never lost it since. I have two sons, one is 2y9m and the other 5m. I gained 10kg first pregnancy and lost it and then gained it again in my second. I also developed gestational diabetes, although not until very late and I do not have diabetes anymore. I want to lose weight for health reasons as I don't want to get diabetes and, most importantly, my knees ache and I find myself trying to avoid bending over as it hurts my back. I also literally feel like I can feel the weight pushing on my shoulders. The only person who can change my weight is me and I deserve to not feel sore and unfit and unhappy at 36.

I have never managed to lose more than 10kg irrespective of my starting weight and I honestly can't imagine ever being a healthy weight. However, I've got to start somewhere. I was 97.5kg this morning. I have a tick list of goals on my phone and am currently not looking further than trying to get below 90kg. On a more practical note I need to lose 4kg in the next 8 weeks as I go back to work in September and my work clothes won't fit otherwise😅

I really like the attitudes on this thread. I too feel like I'm playing the long game now. I really hate reading about faddy crash diets on other threads, the views here are much more sensible. Much as I hate having to log what I eat, it's the only thing that works for me. I think I need to accept that I will always have to do this if I want to keep the weight off. Obesity is a chronic condition for me, much like alcoholics are always in recovery and never recovered. Thank you for reading my story. I have bookmarked the thread and will try to read it in full and hopefully I'll be able to contribute and help others too.

My weight loss tick list... I've never shown anyone before

Welcome @Notthissticky - we are exactly the same height...apart from a few months here and there I have also always been obese. And I have never had a BMI in the healthy range as an adult... your post really chimed with me.
You have done really well so far. I was also reluctant to log and weigh my food to begin with. But my portions were huge and my weight loss stalling. I'm used to it now and it doesn't bother me. It really does work...
I like your tick list, I have something similar. It very good to focus on small milestones rather than a big number.

@alphaechokiwi and @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme Thank you both - you're so lovely!

I've actually been thinking about trying intermittent fasting. Can I ask @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme how do you deal with it when you get hungry? Also do you think it'll matter if some days I don't have a restricted window? Basically my intention is to just eat between 12 noon and 8pm (and potentially shorter if it works out that way), but at the moment I have a nice morning routine including breakfast on a work morning. I think that sets me up for the day really well so I'd like to continue eating breakfast on those days, but phase it out gradually! Do you think that'll be ok? I read your second post on this thread and saw that you have a very flexible approach, which sounds good to me!

@DazzlingHaze welcome! Sounds like you've started really well! I don't think you need to worry about not losing weight the last few days. Our bodies are funny things and the 7.5lb from before is loads!

@Notthissticky welcome to you as well! It sounds like this thread will be perfect for you. We are all committed to making these changes over a long time, and I think pragmatic about doing what works! I have a very similar list to you, written in the back of my food diary. I think it's a sensible approach.

ScottishBeth in all honesty I've changed my mindset about being hungry - its good to be hungry sometimes! I reminded myself at firat that being hungry is just the feeling of my body "eating" the food I've stored as fat - using some of my pantry of horded food reserves 😝 Honestly now I just am sometimes hungry and its ok, because I know I don't have to be hungry - I can and do eat if I actually genuinely want to and most certainly if I feel any adverse effects other than just hunger (light headed or anything). I did a 23 hour fast yesterday because I felt like it and because of the carb overindulgence atvthe weekend and didn't feel particularly hungry until I actually started cooking the evening meal anyway, so I was actually only hungry for an hour; you do also certainly adapt and just get less hungry.

I have hungry days though - sometimes hormonal, but more often its because I've eaten refined carbs the day before already that day - refined carbs make me more hungry because of the blood sugar spike and crash (that's true of sugar obviously, but also bread or pasta) and thats a harder cycle to break because it's an unpleasant hunger - its good to recognise it though and eat protein and fat to satisfy the worst of the hunger and break the bloodsugar spike and crash cycle.

Its all a learning curve but also a mindset chsnge IMO.

Oh also I carry resealable packets of almonds and walnuts with me - this means that I could eat any time and perversely allows me not to think about food and not to actually want to break my fasts 🤔😁 I'm a bit of an awkward person and don't like things being forbidden, so this helps me. It also means that I never buy crap while out and about with the justification that I'm hungry therefore need to buy whatever is available, even if its chocolate/ ready made sandwiches/ biscuits or whatever any more. Taking that out of the equation completely by having an option with me helps. I rarely actually open the packets, but have afew times.

DazzlingHaze and Notthissticky welcome!

@ScottishBeth - I do a type of fasting - one meal a day 5 days per week. A few things I've learned are :
1- I really enjoy and appreciate my food when I'm hungry. Before, I was constantly eating / snacking never actually hungry. It's such a different sensation after fasting and I really enjoy my dinners in a way I never used to.
2 - I've learned not to fear hunger. It's ok to be hungry coming up to a meal. I've also learned that hunger comes and goes. So if I don't eat in response to every hunger pang, it's ok. It will fade.
3 - My body / hormones / brain and whatever other complex mechanisms are are at work quite quickly get used to a new eating pattern. I don't even begin to get hungry now until an hour or so before dinner
4- I find it best to 'taper' into a fasting pattern. So if I was on holiday or had not fasted for a while I would start gradually increasing my fasting time over a week.
5 - I don't think there's any complex magic at work with fasting. It's a way to reduce calories in.... so it doesn't matter what fasting pattern you adapt, so long as it works for your lifestyle and is sustainable...

Thanks for the replies everyone! I think I just need to remember I'm ahead of where I hoped to be at the 3 week mark so one week of maintaining is not a bad thing! The body's a funny thing, it doesn't always cooperate.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme I've also found taking "allowed" snacks out with me everywhere has really made a difference. It stops me getting too hungry which I know is the danger zone for me. When I get overly hungry it's like my brain shuts down and I go on an eating rampage  it's also had the bonus of making me more organised which has been a mental boost for me because I'm usually so scatty.

@alphaechokiwi I too have found I'm enjoying my food so much more because I'm actually hungry when I eat it! And I'm not getting that sluggish crash after I'm finished because I'm eating healthier foods. I used to feel like I needed a long nap after eating because I was eating so much junk!

@Notthissticky it's such an eye opener seeing how many calories are in things. It was something I never paid attention to before. And all the little extras like ketchup etc really mount up too!!

When tracking calories, how often do you all reduce the amount in line with your weight?

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I've now caught up with the thread. @alphaechokiwi, we do sound very similar I think you have a 6yo DD? I imagine we're a similar age then too Your posts stood out to me as being particularly insightful. You don't happen to live in the West Midlands do you haha?

I have to say I'm feeling a bit emotional about the road ahead. I think it just feels daunting. Not just the weight loss, but the whole idea of maybe not being obese anymore, let alone not overweight. It's completely alien to me, I have literally never been a healthy weight apart from when I was born. Part of me is scared of the unknown. I'm going very gently, just trying to stick with 2000 kcal a day as I know from experience that a) I lose weight on that amount, provided I am active and b) I find it hard enough to stick to 2000, never mind less!!!

I was all pleased that my knees weren't as sore last night as they had been, but it was probably because I didn't do much walking. They're actually worse again today and my back hurt when I got out of bed too. I'm just feeling quite creaky in general.

A positive I've just realised: I spent 2 of the past 9 weeks since I started to lose weight indoors in quarantine, so in a way I should be pleased I didn't gain loads then!!!

I've moved the biscuits and chocolate (like several others on this thread I have a skinny husband. Mine has an utterly shite diet so there's often a lot of sugary stuff around but not for long ). They had been on top of an IKEA Kallax unit in the kitchen. The unit is 1.40m high, so they were at eye level for me🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ I've found with other sweet stuff that if it's kept out of sight it's often out of mind too. I've also decided I'm only going to eat whilst sitting down, as I eat far too much in the kitchen and hope that if I can avoid that I won't bother to take unnecessary crap with me to the living room to eat it, as it will hopefully give me pause to think.