Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

My weekly weigh in today: 77.9kg which is basically staying the same as its only 100g less than last week. Fine though - I think it might take me as long to lose the final 8kg or so as it did to lose the first 40! Better for my skin I guess...

On the subject of telling people - I didn't tell anyone (not even DH and especially not the kids) I was trying to lose weight until they noticed. My parents still don't know I've lost weight or tried to because I have a very complex and self destructive relationship with my mother around food (she's absolutely obsessed with slimness and women eating like sparrows and used to comment endlessly on weight - she brings out the stroppy teen in me and if she commented on my weight in either direction it'd send me straight to over eating just to spite her). We live in different countries and not seeing her for 18 months has been good for me - we usually just do old fashioned land line calls, and for special occasion video calls I've stuck children in front of me - my nearly 10 year old still happily parks his tall self on my lap, which is handy

Shift work also helped me avoid drawing attention to my intermittent fasting even from the people I see every day, and even DH didn't notice until I'd already lost about 10kg, and other people not til 15kg. During the early months I used a Facebook intermittent fasting group, which was really useful at first but a bit too extreme and fanatical so I left it after a while, and joined an intermittent fasting thread on here, but then gravitated to the old 9stone thread linked to in the opening post of this thread, as I felt a bit out of place on the intermittent fasting thread because although the posters were lovely most were a healthy weight already and only trying to shift a few vanity pounds.

I read once that if you spend a lot of time talking about and telling everyone about something you plan to do, you partly convince yourself that it's as good as done, and consequently you lose your initial drive and motivation. I'm not sure if that chimes with anyone else, but it did with me, and although long term weight liss and maintenance is more about forming new lifelong habits and plodding on determinedly than about motivation exactly, I did find not talking about it helped rather than hindered in the beginning!

Since I've now lost quite a lot of weight my team at work are almost all also intermittent fasting and walking and every team meeting is turning into an involuntary fat fighters meeting - colleagues eager to report their losses and ask for tips, although I'm if the opinion each person has to work out what fits in with their lifestyle and not follow a rigid formula - unfortunately no opportunity for Marjorie Dawes impressions as my German team mates would think I'd lost the plot and not understand (does anyone know what I'm talking about...?) I'm always so tempted to suggest dust, dust, bit of dust...?

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme As always- such thought provoking and helpful advice- Thankyou!

The relationship with your mother seems so similar to mine. Every time I see her judgemental gaze appraise what I am wearing/eating, I go into petulant teenager mode and self sabotage. Really trying not to this time, as I’m doing this out of self care for myself rather than because of the judgement of others. I hope that’s why I will be successful!

Can I join you?

I'm trying to lose 80 kg (12.5 stone) . I've lost 26 kg (4 stone) so far but still have a long way to go.

My weight gain was a result of undiagnosed sleep apnea. Diagnosis and treatment is how I started to lose weight. I lost 20 kg then put it all on again, turned out there was a problem with my CPAP machine. Fixed the problem and lost 30 kg. Then it started to go back on again and I knew this time it was somehow connected to the sleep apnea but I couldn't figure out how. Thankfully I eventually made a connection to a change of mask, so on Wednesday I reverted to the old one and now my weight is heading downwards again.

FatCatThinCat hi! It must be a relief to have got to the bottom of the sleep apnea link, but frustrating its had such an impact before diagnosis. Welcome to the thread!

Backtobackagain you're so right - this only works with intrinsic motivation, external pressure and judgement usually leads nowhere or backfires, like with so many things in life!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme yes it's both a relief and a frustration. I lost 20 years to being so overweight I couldn't do the things I wanted to do and so tired I didn't want to do the things I could. I've lost enough weight already that I can do so much more without pain. My next targets are to get to 105 kg which takes me out of the morbidly obese range, and to be able to climb a pool ladder, so I can get in it when it goes up this summer.

Thanks for the very helpful advice @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme. I know part of my issue is that deep down I think if I lost weight it might solve some of my relationship issues. Rationally I know it won’t but a part of me feels if I was slimmer and more attractive then things would be better. I do wonder if part of the reason I’ve come to a halt half way through is that I’m scared to find out that nothing will change.

Oh Stuckanddesperate that's both very sad and very insightful I'm afraid to say that I agree losing weight won't solve relationship issues - if your partner is a decent person he or she won't stop loving you if you put on weight, nor love you more if you lose weight. It might make a difference to sexual attraction but not to love.

I think you're absolutely right that some people hold back/ self sabotage to avoid the reality that losing weight isn't a magic cure for anything except perhaps physical health problems (and even then its usually not a cure, but undeniably helpful).

I remember my sister refusing to do things "until I'm slim" - even back then at age 17 I could see that was tragic (in the traditional sense if the word not the modern judgemental/ insulting slang meaning). Of course she was actually hiding behind that excuse (she was barely overweight, but had been lauded throughout late childhood and early teens for being "lovely and slim" and had a huge adolescent identity crisis when various other things happened in our family life and school coinciding with her putting on a few puppy fat pounds). Sometimes being overweight can be a shield I'm quite sure.

I can't give relationship advice but I hope you can take some time to figure out what you want (or perhaps more realistically what you need to do) and move on if that's what's right for you

I agree, I met my husband when I was around 12 stone. He still loves me just as much despite a 10 stone weight gain. He's now doing everything he can to support my weight loss, not because he's bothered by my weight, but because he knows I'm bothered by it.

Thanks @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme it’s a bit if a mess tbh. Should have made a move 10 years ago but timing wasn’t right and now wondering whether it’s too late. Think recognising our feelings about weight and that there are some ways in which it stops us having to face difficult situations is key to successful weight loss

[quote triceratopsmama]@MamaNewtNewt how are you finding the couch to 5k? I think I'm going to try it.

I've been doing really well with food, I had been mindlessly snacking and binging all day every day for months.

I had porridge with hazelnut milk for breakfast,
a banana
2 boiled eggs and 1 slice of brown soda bread for lunch
Peppered steak with 1 scoop of mashed potato for dinner
2 small oranges afterwards

I'm going for a walk this morning after playschool drop off with one of the other mothers.

I'm amazed I don't feel hungry. I really feel like this is my time. I'm so sick of being fat. [/quote]
@triceratopsmama I’m not finding it as bad as I thought to be honest as I have always hated running and I’m so big I wasn’t sure I’d be able to physically do it. I did run 5 today and am starting to notice a difference in that it is getting a bit easier. You do a brisk walk for 5 mins, then a 1 min run, followed by 90 seconds walking (you do this 8 times) and then another 5 min walk at the end. When I first did it I was just hanging on for the min run to finish but there were a couple of times today I felt surprised that the min was over. It is still tough so I make sure I have some feel good songs and focus on the music. I was tempted to wait until later today to do my run as I find it hard when the sun is out but I know if I put it off I’ll end up not doing it and will find it so hard to restart. I just remind myself of how I feel when I am done, I just feel so proud. If you’d have told me a few weeks ago that I would be able to run for 8 mins and walk briskly for 22 mins I would never have believed it.

You definitely have a great start with the food and I’d recommend this as a way to gradually build fitness (as a veteran of 5 runs ). I feel the same as you – like this time it really is it – we can do it!

@MedusasBadHairDay it’s great that you have found an exercise routine and even better that it is fun, I too am uncoordinated so I stick to running at the mo.

@Stuckanddesperate oh that’s really tough, I’m not surprised you have been comfort eating. Unfortunately I eat when I am sad, stressed, bored and happy so the only thing that works for me is to not buy unhealthy food (as I am too lazy to go and buy any) which I think some other people have suggested. On a night I brush my teeth early so I feel less tempted to snack on an evening and if I’m really struggling I go to bed. Other than that I’d say be kind to yourself and keep coming on this thread for support. Most of us have been where you are now and maybe we will be again as it is never a straight journey. What happened before doesn’t matter, what matters is going forward. You can do this.

Welcome to @FatCatThinCat glad you have the diagnosis now.

I did my 5th Couch to 5K run today and it is starting to get a little bit easier. I’m just glad I am keeping it up so far, I just know if I take a day off I’ll find it harder to start again. It’s the same with the food, I’m kind of an all or nothing kind of gal. I cannot do moderation so now I have weaned myself off the sugar (5 days of no sugar!) I’m finding it a lot easier to eat healthily. Today I had smoothie, fruit, homemade tomato soup and toast, quorn and veg chilli and baked sweet potatoes (I did have guacamole and cheese on this) and water to drink. My skin is looking so much better as well.

Thursday is my weighing day and I have lost 2.4lbs – I don’t want to get too hung up on the weight as I’m focusing on eating well and getting fitter – but it is a good start.

113.1 kg for me today. I'm well chuffed. That's a 1.3 kg loss from last week and a 2.5 kg loss from Wednesday. Most importantly it's a reversal of my recent pattern of gaining again.

Well done @FatCatThinCat great news 😃

Weighed myself today and I've lost 2 lbs which I'm happy about. That's 9 lbs now in total since I started and I seem to be in a good head space.

We eat dinner fairly early, so I leave it as long as possible till I have pudding (fat free greek yoghurt with raspberries) and it stops me from evening snacking which I used to be awful at.

Warmer weather makes longer dog walks for exercise much nicer!

I weighed myself and have lost 2.5kg in the last week which I am thrilled with. Just need to keep eating less and moving more but thankfully I am finding the exercise programme I am following to be fun and enjoyable. I actually look forward to the next workout .

Good morning everyone, I'm 87.2kg today. I've lost my gain from last week plus a little bit. I'm happy with that. I've struggled a bit - a kind of a mid way slump I suppose. But hopefully back on track now.

Glad everyone seems to be doing well. I am 98 kilos today, which is over a kilo gained. I don’t think this is a real gain, I weighed throughout the week and was between 96.8 and 97.4, so this is clearly a water issue, or something. Although I did attend my first zoom party yesterday, and ate a piece of cake, but it was small!

Just checking in to say 103 kg still this week. Same as last week but I am ok with that as I was up to 104 during the week so happy to be back down.

IF is working for me even in terms of concentration levels and energy levels which are much better.

Glad everyone is doing ok. I guess we are all going to have ups and downs with the weight but as long as we trend downwards overall that's the main thing.

I did run 6 of Couch to 2K today, I thought I was doing a bit better and picking up the pace, which I must have been as my Fitbit actually picked my run up as aerobic exercise for the first time rather than classing it as a walk. In fact my Fitbit is being well passive aggressive, sounding really surprised that I have done 4 periods of exercise this week! I think I'm going to repeat week 1 again on the programme as I don't feel ready to move up. It's still tough for me to keep exercising for 30 mins without stopping. I want to do it gradually, the important thing is for me to keep moving and I need to remember I am almost twice the weight I should be so it's like I'm always carrying an extra person around.

Food wise I have been doing ok but although we have cut down on the takeaways we are still having too many (I'm waiting for a curry now but it's all veggie with boiled rice and one poppadom so could be worse I guess). I had a home made smoothie for breakfast then a cheese, mushroom and courgette omelette with brown rice for lunch. I've managed to keep off the sugar, which along with the takeaways is my big issue so pleased with that and will try to cut the takeaways again next week.

After 3 weeks of no movement, I've now lost another 2lbs. I set myself an initial target of losing 11lb, and have lost 10lb now. So so close.

Obviously still quite a long way from the ultimate goal, but baby steps are good.

Was doing well with exercise last week, but hurt my ankle this weekend and can barely stand on it. So think I'm going to have to skip my daily aerobics, which I'm more upset by than I expected, turns out I'm enjoying it quite a lot.

It's my birthday this week, so already accepted that I'll be treating myself that day. Though it also means I could do a longer workout as I'll have the house to myself, though that'll depend on my ankle behaving.

Well done everyone. Sounds like it's going well.

I am trying to tackle my anxiety and decided to try reducing coffee.

I felt really anxious last night and ended up eating two chocolate bars which made me feel better in the short term but which will ultimately contribute to me feeling worse long term.

I walked the kids to school today and I went for a lunchtime walk so I am at over 5000 steps already which is good for me!

@Rebuildingconfidence how are you feeling today anxiety wise? Try not to be too hard on yourself, that was yesterday and today is a new day.

Hi all, hope you're all doing okay.

Sorry I went awol after my 1st weigh in but I've just had my 3rd (I think) and I was 110.8kg. So that's a loss of exactly 5kg in 5 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race, I guess.

My first target is 110kg so I'm hoping I can get there for next week. My consultant is keen for me try to get to 105kg by 24 weeks. I'm currently 15+5 so should be doable but obviously we have to go carefully and it becomes more difficult the bigger baby gets.

NetflixAddict 1 kg is 2.2lb - 11 lb in 5 weeks isn't slow! That's pretty quick weight loss! Well done! Is the plan to maintain after 24 weeks?

Rebuildingconfidence well done on all the movement! Two chocolate bars won't do you any harm, I'm glad they made you feel better. Ultimately though it sounds like you need to break the association between feeling anxious and eating - it was the same for me with stress and feeling overwhelmed. Medium to long term you need to find something to replace the eating in that specific context - its pretty much the same as smokers who smoke when stressed/ anxious needing to do something instead of smoke in trigger situations. Is there anything you could fo instead? I remember how hard it is with young children because you can't close the door on them and lock yourself in the bathroom to have a bath, or go out for awalk without them, or read or craft uninterrupted... eating is something you can do with them there, or in snatched seconds, I know how hard it is to find a healthy alternative when unpleasant feelings are overwhelming. Are all your children at school during the day or do you have preschoolers?

MedusasBadHairDay well done on the 2lb and all the aerobics! Have a good birthday and I hope the ankle feels better.