Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

GoodbyeToCare welcome - you're the same age and 3kg lighter than I was last July, its so doable! Just remember you actually can't fail as long as you keep going. This isn't a race, nor is it helpful to think you're "on a diet" or to have a set in stone tome frame you attach massive significance to. This is a lifestyle change for life, and of course there'll be occasional set backs and detours along the way, but with small but consistent changes of habit and mindset you'll get to where you want to be eventually - it doesn't matter whether it takes ten months or two years as long as youre heading in the right direction more of the time than not, and every 5kg lost will improve your health short and long term!
You can do it! Be kind to yourself along the way and don't put anything on hold for when you've hit a certain weight - enjoy walks in the sun or new clothes in your current size or long baths or long chats in the garden - whatever non junk food things make you feel happy - now.

Ammorey welcome. I do think we should avoid talking/ thinking in terms of being on a diet, because that's a short term thing with an end, and that way gaining weight back lies. Its just semantics though I guess, its the mindset that matters. If OMAD works for you that's great - I believe alphaechokiwi does that Monday to Friday woth more flexible weekends, but I'm sure she'll correct me if I'm mistaken - she's doing fantastically well.

I do my own fairly flexible version of intermittent fasting and its working well too. Its incredibly important to me not to eat separate meals to my family or my "work family" (I'm a residential support worker) and not to model being "on a diet" to my teens or the vulnerable young adults I support, but of course everyone has different living situations and those things aren't concerns for everyone/ most people

I expect to be doing intermittent fasting for the rest of my life, but less strictly than now - I currently fast at least 18 hours most days, sometimes 20, occasionally 24 (stop eating at 6pm, eat one meal at 6pm the next day - so OMAD essentially but I only do that a few times per month). I anticipate changing to 16:8 with weekends off (every second weekend) 14:10 for lifelong maintenance eventually (maybe by August if I'm lucky), but we'll see - I anticipate a lot of tweeking before I get maintenance right!

I definitely agree about needing a structure which limits evening snacking - that's one of my weeknesses too!

Breaking the stress-sugar mental link has benefited my health enormously (sugar was my nicotine) as has walking out in the fresh air at least 6 days per week around my shifts and homeschooling my kids (sometimes 2 miles, sometimes 10, the key thing being to get out and walk).

Good luck!

@Ammorey what a great idea. Well done on your big changes. Quitting smoking is huge.
I’ve stopped mindless evening snacking. Don’t even care when other people do it!
I’ve stopped feeling deprived because actually I’m redressing years of mindless eating.

@GoodbyeToCare . That sounds like very useful support.

@Ammorey - well done on quitting smoking. I quit smoking 20 years ago. It's hands down the best thing I ever did for myself.
I do OMAD - I tend to eat whatever the family is having for dinner with discreet tweeks to the portions. I use MFP to track calories too, as I would otherwise eat huge amounts🤣. I have more relaxed weekends. I'm trying to keep my dietary changes low key. I don't want to be the 'mummy who's always on a diet' . This way works really well for me.
My big positive change recently has been exercising most days....many many benefits, no downsides!

Down to 103kg today.

Been here before but I need to keep going!

I dream of being 99kg

@Rebuildingconfidence me too- getting under 100kg feels like a big deal! I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that a couple of years ago the idea of going over 100kg would have seemed horrifying. But I have to deal with where I am now, and getting under 100 is my current mini target.
@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme
Your comments about the mindset shift and not referring to a diet is so important, none of us want to do all this work to yo-yo back up in weight, so it being a long term lifestyle change that won’t “end” like a diet would, is key I think. I’m a long way off thinking about maintenance, unlike you, but I think it’s still important to have in mind.
My big changes so far are reducing my “all or nothing mentality” and including some exercise every day, whether walking, yoga or hiit.
Really hoping for a loss on the scale in the morning, but I’m going to stay focussed on my goals regardless.

@Rebuildingconfidence woo hoo. Very well done, and you will get under 100. I did, and this time I am staying under.

Can I join? I'm 5"2, 18.5 stone, my Bmi is 47. I need to lose a lot of weight. I've been ttc for 3 years and no joy and I've just found out I have a large cyst on my cervix and have to have surgery to remove it. I need to get a handle on my over eating.

triceratopsmama welcome to the thread. Have you decided what sort of lifestyle changes you're going to make? Is there something obvious like cutting out fizzy drinks you could start with, or will you try no S, or calorie counting, or intermittent fasting? There are people doing all sorts of different things on this thread, so maybe have a read through from the start if you still need ideas!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme thank you. I'm a binge eater. I eat when I'm watching tv, when I'm bored, for no reason at all. Love fizzy drinks too. Tend to skip meals and then eat everything in the house afterwards.
So today, I'm just not eating junk. I got rid of all my stashes yesterday(binned not eaten🤣) and only kept the things I really don't like for dh and ds.

Today I had porridge with hazelnut milk for breakfast, drank 500mls water beforehand

Snack was a yogurt with some plain nuts

Lunch was homemade veg soup and dinner will be salmon salad(tomorrow is shopping day)

I don't do any exercise so my plan is very simple. 3 healthy meals, 2 snacks, walk every day. I just hope to god I can do it.

@triceratopsmama hello! I just joined the thread yesterday and am trying to get into the swing of completely changing my lifestyle too.

I've found The Body Project on YouTube great for cardio exercise and what's really nice is that he has normal sized people doing the exercise with him.

Having said that I've not long finished a workout and am sitting here feeling like a sweaty mess 😄.

@GoodbyeToCare hi!! It's so hard isn't it? I've done so much in the house today, cleaning all day, changed the beds, tons of washing, anything to distract myself.
I'll take a look at that, thank you,
I need something I can do at home at the minute, getting out for a walk with a 5 year old isn't easy, and Dh's work doesn't give him much time at home at the moment.

@Ammorey fab idea! I think it's good to be honest where things are difficult, but yes, important to remember what we're doing well at as well! Quitting smoking is fab - well done! I have vastly reduced my snacking, which is really good. Before I started this I was eating mindlessly, and feeling bad about myself because of it. I am much more in control now.

As it is I had a read of the no S thread on here and it turns out I've basically been doing that!

I also made a list of things I can't do instead of eat, when I'm craving something. I think that will prove to be really useful, especially when I am back at work. I specifically thought of things I could do at work times that aren't snacking.

@triceratopsmama and @GoodbyeToCare welcome to the thread!

@triceratopsmama and @GoodbyeToCare welcome! It’s a really friendly thread with people at different stages with different approaches but who all get how complex it can be.

Re- exercise- Following a recommendation on here I’ve been doing the 7 app- 7 minutes of hiit activities. It’s good for me as I can force myself to do 7 minutes of something without feeling overwhelmed, and once I’ve done that successfully, I’m then feeling more motivated to go for a walk and get my steps in!

I weighed into today and have lost the gain I had following my birthday last week, which is a relief. Now really hoping to end this week lighter than I’m starting it. I’ll take any loss, just keen to see that number go in the right direction!

@ScottishBeth- what is on your no snacking distraction list? I need some ideas. I’m finding I’m fine til I break my fast, and then find it harder to moderate, and if I start snacking I find it hard to finish!

@Backtobackagain I've got quite a long list:
Go for a walk
Listen to favourite songs (I made a playlist of half a dozen)
Do vocal exercises/singing practice (I'm a singer)
Play a game of chess
Do chess puzzles
Do some boxing
Meditation
Yoga
Fill bird feeder
Water garden
Water plants
Play with the dog
Have a bath

There's quite a range of things - some long, some short. And obviously some are quite specific to me! I specifically wanted things that weren't watch TV/go on Facebook, as I do that too much and I don't think it would stop me eating.

@ScottishBeth some great ideas! I can use some of those. And I agree- too much tv doesn’t help- I’ve identified that as a bit of trigger to eat for me, I’d got into an unhealthy habit of relaxing on the sofa watching tv with something to snack on, even if I’d not long had dinner and wasn’t genuinely hungry.

@ScottishBeth @Backtobackagain thank you. I had a really good day today food wise, first day in months I didn't binge all day.

Tomorrow is shopping day, any tips?

@Backtobackagain I like the sound of the 7 minute exercise, might break me in nicely

Hello all, Good to hear all your news and welcome to new people

I am doing ok and not feeling over focused on food (until our bubble neighbour turned up unexpectedly at dinner time and wanted coffee! ) Somehow I managed to stay polite
Trying to get a walk in everyday and eat smaller portions generally. Had take out at weekend but still managed an overall loss.

Know I need to be in this for long haul so trying to make small changes.

Feeling a little low today. Following the Noom programme they ask that you weigh yourself everyday and that needle just isn't budging despite my changing the way I eat and exercising everyday . Not sure that a daily weigh in is good for moral!

@GoodbyeToCare I think it’s a very individual thing- I think the rationale for noom saying weigh daily is that you get used to the daily fluctuations, but if it is disheartening, weighing once or twice a week is fine. For me, I need the accountability of a daily weigh or I can soon find myself dodging the scales for weeks and putting a load of weight back on. But I think it really is about finding what works for you. Remember even if it’s not yet showing on the scales, the exercise and healthy food are good habits to be forming and will be doing your body good. The losses will come- keep going!

GoodbyeToCare when did you start? Your first post was only 2 days ago but I assume you've been doing noom longer than two days? I think genuine losses (or gains) are only actually observable month on month, because there's so much complex biology going on from day to day - hormonal fluctuations due to the reproductive cycle, muscle building, fat burning, water retention and loss, even digestive system stuff - changes in how often you poo etc!

If daily weighing discourages you then don't do it - its meaningless in itself, as Backtobackagain says the only point to it is to let you track your fluctuations and get to know your body and to see an overall pattern - whether you weighed more yesterday or today means nothing at all long term weight loss wise; day on day changes are more likely to tell you whether you've poied recently or are retaining water!

Thanks @Backtobackagain and @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme I think I may have been hoping for miracles and being a tad over optimistic .

Will keep going with the daily weigh ins!

Hi, can I join please? I could really do with some support as I’m too embarrassed to tell family and friends I’m trying to be healthy as they have heard it all before – many times. I want to lose weight for health reasons, I don’t want to die early just because I couldn’t make healthy choices, and I am so sick of feeling uncomfortable in myself. I want to do it gradually and am focusing on eating well and exercising with losing weight being a by-product of that. I’m terrified of the loose skin situation but I’m trying to think that I will sort that when I get there but if anyone has any tips on how to minimise this then that would be great.

Here are my stats:

• Age: 42
• Height: 5’ 5”
• Weight: 116kg
• BMI: 42.8
• Need to Lose: 48kg (min to get to healthy weight)

I have been doing Couch To 5k for a week now and am going to incorporate walks and yoga into my non running days. Food-wise I have gradually been reducing my sugar and yesterday was the first time I didn’t eat any sugar (knowingly anyway). What has made a real difference for me is a bit bizarre but I bought a soup maker and have been using that pretty much every day for a few weeks for healthy smoothies and soups.

Looking forward to joining you all on the journey to health 