What to do when very overweight, zero will power and very unhappy?!

[chalkyc2]

I feel like I need to be shocked into action - nothing seems to spur me on. And yet I am probably classed as morbidly obese and seem not to be able to do anything about it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this...I feel like I'm way beyond the usual eat less move more. I need to lose around 8 stone (gives you an indication of the scale of the problem - an entire extra person!). I struggle with exercise as over the last 7 years have developed chronic Achilles and plantar fasciitis type pain. And despite lockdown am time short and work busy - along with home schooling supervision.

I've just been looking at the surgery thread. I think I need to give regular loss another try though. What are peoples thoughts on the fast 800 blood sugar programmes? Another gimmick? I don't really understand why I can't deal with my weight - I'm so embarrassed - I don't have any mental health issues and am an educated professional person and actually used to be very sporty and fit.

Please if anyone could direct me as I feel really lost! Half the time I think oh what is the point but really after gaining an extra 15kg since last March this can't go on....

You're really not beyond eat less and move more- because that is what works! I think just keep it really simple- you dont need to be fasting or trying a gimmicky diet, you want a lifestyle change. I think for the next few days write a Food diary and really look at your portion sizes. My portions are huge because i get hungry but half the plate is vegatables. If you can be strict - cut out all crisps, white bread, biscuits, and try to replace chocolate with dark chocolate. You might miss them for a few days but after a little while you wont even notice. Fizzy drinks can be full of sugar and empty calories. Every time you reach for something unhealthy to eat, imagine it clogging round your body and arteries- thats what I do so it means i only eat it if i really want it. Sorry if that sounds horrible but the imagery really works for me.
And from today, could you spare 30 minutes for a power walk every morning or evening, just plug in headphones and go. It will take a couple of weeks but it will make a difference. Think how reduced the pain of your achilles will be once you lose the weight.

You don’t need to feel embarrassed, there wouldn’t be a whole section on weight loss if this issue was only isolated to you!

You have recognised you want to change, that’s the first step. I would personally recommend Fast 800. It’s massively changed my eating habits (I used to eat a lot of chocolate) which was the most important thing for me. I am eating really healthy, yummy food and it’s filling me up yet staying within 800 calories - madness!

Good luck! If you do decide you want to give it a go there are some threads on the 5:2 section iirc.

But I also agree with PP just cutting out a bit of crap and logging what you eat will make a massive difference. You can still eat a reasonable amount of calories that way so may not ‘shock’ you as much

I think you need just to start taking manageable steps. So log what you eat and cut your portions down by a third initially. Look at YouTube videos for exercise. There are lots for varying levels of fitness including seated exercise. Yoga, resistance exercises and weight exercises would be possible, I would think.

I'm the same OP, need to lose 5 stone. To start I've cut out sugar in my cereal and in cups if tea, have also stopped the mid morning snack and the afternoon chocolate too. Small changes for now.

Keep it simple.Count calories and do some form of exercise every second day, aim to lose just 0.5 lbs a week or stay at the same weight. I give myself small targets with prizes if I meet them such as new lipstick, bunch of flowers etc, see it more as self care than a diet. Look after yourself and accept it might take a while.

I recommend listening to the Dr Chatterjee podcast Feel Better Live More and his book www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Great-Lose-Weight-sustainable/dp/0241397839?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 it’s really helped me feel better about losing weight and figure out where to start. For me the key is to be living the lifestyle I want, now. Not always thinking, my life will be better when I’ve lost the 4 stone I need to. So the exercise, sleep, food I eat etc is for me to feel healthy and alive, not just to lose weight. I’m not sure if that makes sense? This book has helped me as Dr C is very kind and insightful about the reasons we get overweight and how to reorganise our lives. Good luck.

Thank you all great advice. I honestly think I'm just a bit greedy and lazy! I love good food (I don't eat rubbish but I do like sweet stuff!). But my kids are 11 and 9 and are seriously leaving me behind. And I'd rather not die from covid because I'm overweight...😬

We have a peloton bike arriving in a month so I'm hoping that will help with the non foot bearing related exercise. I'm going to try and up the walking - I used to rush around - school drop off/work etc - I haven't left the house once last Sunday!

I had a health scare but before that I couldn’t be arsed.

Small steps, I joined weight watchers because I need a structure otherwise I’d continue nibbling and doing what I wanted.

I lost over 5 stone, my plantar fasciitis went, I run, I cycle and my illness went into remission.

It’s very hard because you battle with yourself you know you have to cut out but then you feel depressed about how you feel so you eat.

I still allowed myself treats and what I wanted because I’d fail otherwise I couldn’t go from all to nothing, I couldn’t do shakes because I’d be even more miserable.

Find something that works, might not be great to start with, once you loose a pound you think I got this, it’s working.

I found it hard to start with, I had a bowl of Rice Krispies, then bacon, 2 crumpets and scrambled egg for lunch, salmon and rice/veg for dinner, water and one can of Coke Zero, maybe a mini green and blacks bar, fruit for snacks I ate what food I liked added in more walking, then started having healthier foods because I felt overwhelmed in the beginning, so cut down my portions etc, then switched and started enjoying making fake aways etc.

Good luck

You are 100% not beyond eat less move more.

My weight makes me feel VERY bad about myself and I am happier when a normal weight (bmi 24-26 vs 30/35)

For me what helps is being real about my situation.
"Where I am is miserable and I am unhappy with no hope of change. If I do I will still be miserable in the short term but there's a chance I will lose some weight and be less miserable / happier

The first week or two is the hardest once you get into the swing its easier.

I am doing fast 800 (or fast roughly 800 ) right now and aiming to get 12000 steps average for the week (this means i can catch up if the weather is bad one day and don't feel I have "failed")
Once I get down to 15kg overweight I will up the exercise but until then just walking for me..

It is ridiculously hard to motivate myself, so I feel your pain! Don’t do anything too drastic in the middle of the lockdown/homeschooling/January blues. It’s just asking for you to fall off the wagon with a crash!

Think about what you eat and where you go wrong - for me it’s takeaways/fast food combined with not moving enough. I used to eat a dreadful amount of sugar but I’m slowly getting that under control.

Could you do small sustainable changes for a while? Here are some ideas:
No eating after dinner
Cutting sugar
Snacks have to be fruit, veg or low-carb
No takeaways/fast food
No crisps or fizzy drinks
No white bread
More vegetables.

I absolutely cannot face counting calories at the moment - I know everyone’s different! I’m planing to weigh myself on Monday with a towel covering the stone, so I can just see the pounds, and then try some small changes while weighing myself regularly to see if it’s working!

Fast800 works really well for me because after 6pm the "kitchen is closed"
Lockdown has made it much easier as there are no restaurants/dinner parties/work drinks to navigate.

You are not beyond "eat less move more". I thought I was at some point too though. I thought I am addocted to certain food for a while too. Nope. Just found every excuse under the sun with the help of a denial size of Jupiter...
I couldn't do any super restrictive diets though. These failed within a week.

Simply lowering calories and starting workouts worked wonders. I had 12 stone to lose. Still 6 to go.

Buy a weakarse chair and sit on it. Mitivation comes quite quickly after that...

I hear you. I’m similar - with 6.5 stone to lose. Yo yo dieter, disordered eating and food addiction. Not saying you’re the same but a lot of advice feels irrelevant to me at this point because I cannot stick to anything.

I’m awaiting the new addition of The Diet Cure by Julia Ross. She addresses blood sugar and hormones, serotonin etc from a food addiction perspective. I found it very helpful to stop the cravings cycle but gave up when pregnant with DD. I am going to have another read and try it again because for me a plan isn’t enough, I can’t do small restrictions, I can’t even do Over Eaters Anon anymore (though I think they work for some). For me knowledge isn’t enough, I could write a book about exercise and nutrition. I could probably act as a half decent personal trainer. I’ve done therapy, EMDR, meditation, CBT.

Sorry this has turned into a ramble. What I’m trying to say is it feels very hormonally driven to me, and I’m trying to address that.

Lots and lots of great advice here OP. I've lost 17kg since September, bringing my BMI from 42 to 35 and dropping every week. I absolutely did not get to nearly 50kg overweight without being on many many diets. So I spent some time looking back at what worked and what failed over the years. I looked at what I can and can't live without. I looked at what I could sustain as part of my life, forever. And using the experience gained from all my failed diets over the years, I put together a plan that works for me. And I also plan for 'failure' - Christmas, birthday, and other times when experience tells me I am going to fall off the wagon etc. It's working....I'm thrilled, but honestly, I could do this forever. It's working because I don't feel deprived, nothing is off limits, it totally works for my personality and lifestyle. I feel so much better than I did in September.
What I'm trying to say is that you have very valuable experience, you could use use it to plan what will work for you and your lifestyle. Shoehorning yourself into other people's plans doesn't work in the long term for lots of people and 'failure' is very disheartening.
There's a lose 9 stone thread on the weight loss threads which is full of support, not diet advice. We all have a significant amount of weight to lose there, but some posters are quite far along that journey and it's inspiring.

@SchrodingersImmigrant 😂 oh god!

Amazing @alphaechokiwi - well done. I need such a total change of mindset that's for sure.

@chalkyc2 I've sent you a PM.

OP I am tall and have a similar amount of weight to loose and also have similar foot problems. I am mid 50’s and dislike the gym so walking (outside in the fresh air) and freestyle dancing round the house would work for me in terms of exercise.

I also have an under-active thyroid and quite often feel really, really genuinely hungry and give into this. I have put weight over the years and put even more on in lockdown wfh with stretchy trousers on. We do an online shop and have far to many junk food snacks in the shop that our teens love (crisps, biscuits, choc).

I know I need to do something I wonder about Keto, low carb (a combination of both), paleo, WW online, SW, 800 calorie diet, 5:2) but confused about which is best and having already got the shopping in I end up doing nothing and another, day, week and month rolls by and I get fatter and fatter. I was very very slim as a young girl, teens and early twenties but now in my 50’s I am the reverse so its hard.
I measured myself recently for some trousers as a teenager both my hips and bust were 11 inches bigger than my waist. I know I have a big tummy but shockingly their was hardly any difference at all between my chest, waist and hip measurements.

Check your mail, @Randomrebel!

I hope you are not selling them anything😂

Definitely not. Just talking about some videos that helped me.

😁

If you think about it, consuming food takes a lot of our time and energy. Shopping online or in stores, loading it onto the fridge and cupboards, cooking it, washing up afterwards, loading and unloading the dishwasher, taking out the waste. If we put that time towards a brisk, long walk instead, we'd feel much better.
If someone else in your family (partner or older teen?) could take over the family food chores, you can opt out. Allowing you to eat only when you are hungry, smaller portions and potentially low carb (if that works for you).
It isn't modelling bad behaviour to children because you just explain, "I want to prioritise weightloss for better health, so you guys take care of meal planning and your own cooking for the next few months." Then take yourself out for lots of brisk walks. A type of abstention. There's too much temptation and conformity otherwise.