Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

I’ve lost 30lbs and nobody has noticed!

66 replies

CarlottaValdez · 29/12/2020 08:57

I’m not even upset really, more intrigued as to when people might say something. I’ve gone from BMI 36 to 30 so still lots to lose to be healthy weight but I’ve moved from obese to “just” overweight and dropped two dress sizes.

Literally one person has commented - a woman at work. DH hasn’t said anything, he must have noticed though!

Has anyone else had this? Yes

OP posts:
Lindtballsrock · 29/12/2020 09:33

When I lost weight no one commented on the first two or three stones, then when I had lost four stone suddenly everyone commented! Seriously, neighbours, colleagues, people in the local shop! I was like, well I’ve been dieting for nearly two years and FINALLY it’s made a visible difference 😂. Stick with it, it’s a great feeling when you get your BMI into the healthy range no matter how long it takes.

longwayoff · 29/12/2020 09:34

Ha ha, me too OP. 28lbs since July, not a word. Never mind, people are probably just being careful to not offend in case they say the wrong thing. So, WELL DONE, buy some new clothes, take a photo and admire yourselfSmile

Mulhollandmagoo · 29/12/2020 10:04

I've never seen you so can't comment, but 30lbs is a lot of weight, so there will be definite difference in your appearance. Unfortunately we tend to get all British and awkward when commenting on women's weights, it's sort of a bit of a no no. It's all about you, and your hard work and all your confidence, so pose Infront of the mirror and congratulate and admire yourself, it'll really boost your confidence.

Also, how did you do it? I need some motivation

SnooperTrooper12345 · 29/12/2020 10:55

People that see you every day don't tend to notice. Just like you don't really notice yourself. That is probably the biggest reason for people not noticing

Original poster
CarlottaValdez · 29/12/2020 12:01

I’ve done a combination of 18:6 (so stopped eating breakfast basically!) and almost no snacks. That’s got me this far.

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 04/01/2021 02:26

I think it’s more down to the bigger you are the longer it takes for people to notice, I don’t think it’s about people not wanting to comment (let’s face it someone telling you you’ve lost weight is usually a compliment!) and my sister said she lost half a stone and “everyone noticed and commented” but she’s tiny so it’s more noticeable, I lost 3 stone and no one noticed Confused but like I said I was very big so I think it takes people longer to notice

grassisjeweled · 04/01/2021 02:34

Massive congratulations on the loss, 30 lbs is TOUGH

rockinaftermidnite · 04/01/2021 03:34

Sorry for posting without RTFT... I just wanted to say that you're the only one whose opinion matters in this. I'm sorry that your OH hasn't said anything - that must be painful - but of course he's noticed!

Anyway, congratulations on your success, OP!Smile

FlyNow · 04/01/2021 05:23

I never comment on people's weight loss unless they are both really close to me (eg, sister, best friend) and I know for sure they are on a diet. It's just so personal and it can be minefield - what if they are sick, what if they put it back on, etc. Also it could sound like "you were so fat and ugly before!".

If it was my DH though I would expect him to notice and comment positively, even if he had to lie. This actually happened to me and he didn't make any comment even after I asked him to, so I know how hurtful it can feel.

KellyTLC · 04/01/2021 08:01

Hi.

Yes I’ve experienced this and it is really disheartening.

We sometimes look for external validation like a gold star for our recognition. When internal motivation and validation is what will push you to keep going.

A lady in work with me has lost a significant amount over lockdown. I’ve mentioned to my colleague how good she looks but wouldn’t dare say anything to her. I had the thought that she might have been ill and lost it.

Keep going with the knowing that you are improving your health be decreasing your BMI.

Slow and steady wins the race 👍

Original poster
CarlottaValdez · 04/01/2021 08:05

Thanks for the encouraging words - I’ll keep plugging away if I can.

I keep reminding myself that it’s all about my health but secretly I’d like a compliment. I’m completely determined to lose another 10lbs and then I’ll take stock.

OP posts:
10kaDay · 04/01/2021 08:16

@CarlottaValdez - well done on your 30 pounds loss.

Agree people not commenting to be polite, great thing to be doing for your own health & happiness

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 04/01/2021 08:30

I lost 3 stone last lockdown so there was an obvious difference from when people had seen me before !
I wasn't fussed about anyone noticing as I did it for myself not them but I observed this .
The ones that didn't comment have their own weight battles or were overweight .. I stayed the same shape ( hourglass) so I just got smaller and didn't change shape so maybe some people didn't notice that . My face didn't overly change so some people only look at that .
Are any of these applicable ?

TeaEgg · 04/01/2021 08:32

@Dozer

Congratulations on your weight loss. It’s a personal endeavour and brings benefits, so IME its best not to seek ‘support’ and ‘validation’ from others, except (for example) things like weight loss / fitness group(s) (in real life or online).

I think saying nothing is often simply an indicator that people are polite!

Some DHs avoid saying anything about weight, eg if it’s been a sensitive subject.

Exactly. People are not making comments because many, me included, don’t appreciate them , even if they’re intended as compliments.
jamaisjedors · 04/01/2021 08:59

Ahh well done - amazing !

I would NEVER comment on someone's weight-loss unless they brought it up themselves.

I'm "naturally" skinny (mostly stress!) and would worry that it would be taken the wrong way or as PP's said or mean you didn't look good before or that "skinny" is ideal.

Actually I'm dating someone who is quite overweight and he is trying to lose the weight.

I have been avoiding making a big deal when he says he has lost a kilo or two, because I want him to do it for HIM, not for ME... but maybe I should make more of a fuss.

I love him the way he is but would obviously be happy for him health-wise if he did manage to lose weight.

Do you think I should compliment him if he does bring it up?

Bourbonbiccy · 04/01/2021 09:04

You have done amazingly, it so hard to keep motivated and you sound like your determined to carry on, which is amazing.

Weight is such a sensitive subject and others really will be worried of commenting in fear of upsetting you.

If you think support will help and motivate you, I'm sure the other posters in the same boat may like to keep in touch for a weekly update and support maybe. But really good on you.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/01/2021 09:06

I would NEVER comment on someone's weight-loss unless they brought it up themselves

I'm the same unless someone has been talking to me regularly about their progress in changing weight.

Weight change isn't always a good thing even where people do need to lose or gain so I would always weight for them to raise the subject.

notacooldad · 04/01/2021 09:22

Do you think I should compliment him if he does bring it up?
Absolutely!!!

Paleodiet · 04/01/2021 09:33

Carlotta, I lost weight during 2020 (roughly 25lbs). Only one person commented - someone I had not seen for months. Others may have noticed but said nothing - they may consider the matter sensitive. My bubble is very small, composed of people who saw me quite regularly and who may not have noticed my gradual slimming.

Well done!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 04/01/2021 09:41

If it makes you feel sny better, I lost 77 pounds and only 1 person mentioned something without me mentioning it😂😂😂
I so want to be a guy with guy friends

missperegrinespeculiar · 04/01/2021 09:45

You should never comment on people's weight loss unless they bring it up, you don't know why or how they are losing

I learnt this the hard way, over twenty years ago now, a tutor of mine at University, she had lost a lot of weight and I complimented her, she then coldly told me that her husband had died of a sudden heart attack and left her with three small children and she could not eat out of grief and stress

In fact, you should never comment on people's bodies, unless invited to, period!

Bring it up with friends, OP, they'll mostly be delighted for you and it may give you a little boost to have the recognition!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 04/01/2021 09:49

Safest is to simply ask, rather than compliment straight away tbh. I would never think of doing excited "Oooh, you lost weight!" Unless I know the person was dieting. However, "Have you lost weight?" Is a good opener and safe.

Flowers94 · 04/01/2021 10:25

I think it can take a while for people who you dont see often to notice, i lost four stone from jan-aug this year and until xmas no one had ever mentioned it!

TeaEgg · 05/01/2021 09:58

@missperegrinespeculiar

You should never comment on people's weight loss unless they bring it up, you don't know why or how they are losing

I learnt this the hard way, over twenty years ago now, a tutor of mine at University, she had lost a lot of weight and I complimented her, she then coldly told me that her husband had died of a sudden heart attack and left her with three small children and she could not eat out of grief and stress

In fact, you should never comment on people's bodies, unless invited to, period!

Bring it up with friends, OP, they'll mostly be delighted for you and it may give you a little boost to have the recognition!

Exactly. When I lost a lot of weight — to the point where I looked gaunt and was cold all the time and losing hair — I’d been very ill, and it was utterly bizarre how many people assumed I’d dieted to deliberately look like that, and, even after I told them it was caused by an illness, they still seemed to think my new thinness was a good thing! I mean, I looked absolutely awful and unwell! But clearly for a significant subset of people, ‘thin’ trumps ‘well’...
TheFaithfulBorderBinliner · 05/01/2021 10:16

I have put on weight over lock down, seen fewer people at a distance, often masked. I'm hoping to have a big push over the next few months and steadily lose it.
Inspired by your 30lbs, but if I knew you I wouldn't comment at the moment - it could be due to illness, grief, bulky clothes, masks..... Anyway, well done, you've achieved an amazing thing in a difficult time. I'm really proud of you, internet stranger!