Dieting without any support from OH

[Imtoooldforallthis]

I need to lose 2st. If I lived on my own I know I could do it, my OH would benefit from losing a bit as well. I am a good cook and do it all, OH would happily eat everything I cook that was healthy, but then pick all night on chocolate and ice cream in other words he would be know support at all. I also cook for DD. has anyone any advice.

I'm sorry, op, but the only one who can lose your weight is you, and while some support would be nice, you have to be the one fully committed to changing your lifestyle. He isn't responsible for what you eat, and you aren't responsible for his choices, either. Make the commitment to improve your life no matter what he does or doesn't do.

I agree, but feel why should he benefit from all the work I put in, when he doest put any effort in.

Log everything in myfitnesspal (or a similar app), it's the only thing that worked for me to stop snacking. Log it before it goes in your mouth so you can make an informed decision if it's worth it!

That's not the issue, the issue is my DH will devour any low calorie meals I cook and really enjoy it and say he's on a health kick , but still buy and eat chocolate, crisps sweets and ice cream whilst sat next to me.

I agree, but feel why should he benefit from all the work I put in, when he doest put any effort in.

Does that really matter? You're going to cook anyway, so what difference does it make?

That's a pretty shitty thing to do. Losing weight requires massive self-discipline so you'll have to dig deep and stick to your guns. Maybe leave the room when he's eating all that crap and go read a book in bed.

Yeah I will do it will just take will power which would be easier if everyone pitched in, not nesesserily for him to lose weight, but to just be a bit healthy.

Do you normally do all the cooking or would this be extra work for you?

I don't get what you mean? What Bennett l benefit will he get? And what extra effort are you putting in?

(ignore that Bennet I!)

I will have to do all the cooking and meal planning so will have to do all research, calorie counting, shopping, stop them getting pizzas and take aways. Fill the fridge with alternatives to cheese, pate, pork pies and find or cook low calorie alternatives. It all takes a lot of effort.

You don’t have to stop them getting take away, you just need to stop yourself eating them. A good strategy is to have a fake away option in the freezer.

Have you done all the shopping and cooking up to now?

Just buy what you need to eat healthily and nothing else! Just let your dp fend for himself and if he wants to be a fatfucker it’s his choice.
Your decision has to be do you want to live with a fat fucker!!!

I will have to do all the cooking and meal planning so will have to do all research, calorie counting, shopping, stop them getting pizzas and take aways. Fill the fridge with alternatives to cheese, pate, pork pies and find or cook low calorie alternatives. It all takes a lot of effort.

Counting calories and watching portion sizes are vital, but I really think you're making this much more complicated than it has to be for you. You can still eat a lot of the same food, just a lot less of it. Adding a lot more veg is a good idea, and making sure you drink plenty of water, but making yourself crazy with meal planning will only make you frustrated and fed up. As for takeaways and pizza, if he wants to eat them, let him. You simply can't worry about controlling what he eats.

My partner is sort of the same. He doesn't need to diet and eats what he likes. I highly recommend following Slimming World to help with weight loss in this scenario. Makes meal planning a lot easier (no calorie counting) and there are lots of great recipes. Plus, you can still have treats and takeaways just varied from what might be your usual.

As for no support, you make the meals and either make enough for all or just for you. It never bothered me because I like to cook and he enjoyed the meals as well as me. If he wanted ice-cream, I either found a healthier alternative ice cream or had fruit and yoghurt. You just make adjustments and try not to worry about what your OH does. It does make it harder not having their support 100% but you just need to remind yourself why you are doing it.

Good luck!

Oh I soooo get you . In our home though, it's him who does all the shopping and cooking. I've bought all of the Clare Bailey books and asked him to use them he won't even look at them as he thinks I'm perfect just as I am. It's soooo annoying as I have to keep leaving food and I hate waste .

Just eSt something deferent to them that's what I do permanently. I eat salad and stir fries they eat whatever.

EAT something different

I don't be want to be overweight and eat animal products or refined carbs but don't impose that in them

@Imtoooldforallthis

I agree, but feel why should he benefit from all the work I put in, when he doest put any effort in.

This is a bit of a stupid thing to say. What do you mean why should he benefit? You lose weight for YOU, and for the good of YOUR health. Why would you not lose weight to spite him for not losing weight? It makes no sense.

Make healthy meals, don't buy unhealthy foods to have in the house. If he wants to buy them you can't stop him, he's an adult, but equally you don't have to buy things like that if you're trying to diet.

Also, if the other people in your household get a takeout, you don't actually have to eat any. DP and DSS get takeout sometimes, and I just have a jacket potato with tuna, beans and salad. Sorted.

You can 100% make the decision to improve your health, and you can provide the tools for others to do it if they want to (i.e. healthy options available at all times), but you cannot force an adult man to eat a certain way because you want him to.

As a starting point I heartily recommend the Pinch of Nom website and cookbooks. They have some fantastic family friendly, healthier recipes on there.
With regards to the OH, agree what "treats" you will buy in for him and he has to compromise by not buying in extra. Try and get him stuff that you don't like (for example I don't like peanut butter so am not tempted by Reeses cups) and/or eat them in another room. Keep healthier alternatives in for yourself, such as salted popcorn rather than crisps etc.x

Yeah I think if it was just me I'd just buy calorie counted meals but then I'd still have to cook for him.

But were you doing all the cooking before? You seem to be avoiding the question which makes me think you were.

It’s frustrating when your other half doesn’t need to (or want to) eat more healthily but this isn’t about them, it’s about you.

With regards to the OH, agree what "treats" you will buy in for him and he has to compromise by not buying in extra.

That’s pretty controlling, he shouldn’t buy in for the op but I’d be very uncomfortable with one partner telling the other what food they were and weren’t allowed to have in their own home.

Because a healthy lifestyle should be a joint effort not a battle. Why should I cook for the house and nobody help me. There is no way I am cooking different meals, all I want is a bit of help.