Dieting without any support from OH

[Imtoooldforallthis]

I need to lose 2st. If I lived on my own I know I could do it, my OH would benefit from losing a bit as well. I am a good cook and do it all, OH would happily eat everything I cook that was healthy, but then pick all night on chocolate and ice cream in other words he would be know support at all. I also cook for DD. has anyone any advice.

You shouldn’t be cooking different meals. If you’re cooking, they’re eating it or doing their own.

My husband has been eating stollen, mince pies and lebkuchen in front of me all week. I’d like to bash him over the head with a frying pan (not really). It’s hard but seeing as I have to get through life with people eating all manner of things in front of me, I’ve decided I need to get used to it.

I’m much smaller than my husband: he’s always going to be able to eat more treats, bigger portions etc than me. Cest la vie.

Well, it is right you can't really tell him not to eat them, so whenever he starts, pause the movie you are watching, go to your bedroom telling him to call you when he is done.
Every time he starts to eat , leave the room, or maybe suggest the family goes French and stops bloody snacking and that eating is only allowed at the dinning table or kitchen.
Or more drastic, bin his snacks , again and again yes you lose the money, but you might lose the weight too. Or tell him to eat them in the car.

She can’t bin his snacks ffs. I would be livid if dh did that to me.

But he can surely eat what he wants?! It's no more difficult to cook healthy food than it is crappy food.

Yeah, wth is the post about throwing a grown adults snacks away? The mind boggles. If someone did that to me they'd be fucking well going to get me a replacement.

I’ve just lost 4.5 stone and given up booze, despite being married to a beer-swigging potato addict. I cook healthy meals and he adds spuds, or drinks after, or does whatever he likes. My kids also eat crisps, biscuits, and I bake loads of cakes.

It doesn’t matter. You do what’s best for YOU. I’ve lost and gained weight living alone, being married, living with a man and living with friends. The only thing that matters is your own mindset.

Good luck in your healthy mission!

Because a healthy lifestyle should be a joint effort not a battle.

Why? Why can’t this be something positive you do for yourself?

Why should I cook for the house and nobody help me.

Again, cook the meals that work for YOU. They’ll be nice fi everyone will eat them. Or cook family stuff for them but batch-cook lots of healthy soups, etc, for yourself and have those if they’re all having lasagne, etc. That’s what I do quite a lot. Tonight they all had a creamy chicken pie snd I had a homemade soup.

I treated my diet as self-care. And I stocked up on healthy shanks for me snd guarded them with my life.

*snacks, not shanks 😆

I love a good, healthy shank.

@PurpleDaisies how on earth is that controlling? Two adults having a conversation and agreeing a compromise so both their needs are met is controlling? 🤯
God forbid DH and I get divorced, he could cite unreasonable behaviour because I kept the cupboard stocked with a steady supply of his much loved toblerones rather than a chocolate orange or Lindt.

Did you tell him what snacks were banned from the house @kiki275?

Why not budget for a snack for yourself while he is snacking. A 2 bar Kitkat is only 100cals as are some varieties of crisps. Air popped popcorn is low cal. You can now buy low cal icecream too. You could easily join him by having a calorie counted treat without knocking yourself off track.

You could have some calorie counted curries, pizza and Chinese meals in your freezer which you could microwave whilst the rest of the family eat their takeaway so again no need to feel you are missing out.

If you always do the cooking, I’m lost as to why you would resent cooking calorie counted meals for the whole family though.

@PurpleDaisies I'm not entirely sure where you conjured up the word banned from, it's not one I've used.

Name change fail 🙄😂

I’m not sure what other word would be appropriate for “not allowed to buy extra of”.

Look, us having an argument isn’t helpful to the op.

FWIW, I don’t think it’s right to ask the rest of the family to change their eating habits when they don’t need to lose weight. The op changing the meals she is cooking and refusing to cook different ones for them is fine. Telling them what snacks they are and aren’t allowed to buy extra of isn’t on.

This is her journey and she needs to own it as hers. It would obviously be much easier if everyone else is on side and super supportive but if not, she can’t just impose that on them beyond what she’s prepared to cook/buy herself.

@PurpleDaisies at no point have I suggested OP "tell" her OH what he can & cannot have. At no point have I "told" my husband what he can and cannot have.
It's very easy for you to accuse someone of being a controlling partner and then just walk away because you are deliberately misunderstanding the situation.

It is literally just recommending the OP have an adult conversation with her OH to decide between them what will work for them both. No orders, no bans, just polite requests and a little bit of mutual respect which, surely, everyone is entitled to in a relationship.

I see the consensus is that I have to do it myself which is OK. DD and DH could both do with losing maybe half a stone each and me about 2st. They both moan that they don't eat healthy enough but are too idle to do anything and wait for me to do it. Although I do all the cooking DH does some shopping as he works in the food industry. But meal planning is down to me. Previously when I have dieted I make low cal pizzas, low fat pate, make sure veg is cut up in fridge etc. They are happy to eat it all but not do it for me. If I make ryvita with say tomatoes DH will happily eat half, but when he makes a snack for us it will be a family pack of crisps. But I take on board what everyone is saying and will just revert to doing it myself.

OP your actual problem seems to be something for the relationships board rather than the weight loss.

If you’re frustrated about having to always be the one to do the meal planning and cooking with zero input from your family, then you need to have a conversation with them about them stepping up. Because that should affect your weight loss - if you do the meal planning and prepping then it’s no more hassle to plan and cook healthy meals as you’d be having to plan it all out anyway.

You say he’d get some crisps as a family snack, how about getting in some fruit or rice cakes and asking him to get you that instead of crisps?

*shouldnt affect weight loss, that should say!