Need to lose 8st and I hate my body! Motivation needed

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 25/12/2020 10:43

First of all dont hate your body. You start where you start. Carry on with the walking, have a rest when you meet it but start again.

Aldo think about your relationship with food. You need to work on that as well as moving. Dont feel ashamed if you need someone else to help unpack it.

qwerty45 · 25/12/2020 10:44

@Swags12

I currently weigh 18stones and classify as obese. I would really love to be slimmer and reach 10 stones which is a healthy BMI for me. I feel so jealous when I see why sisters fitting in well into nice clothes, getting compliments about their looks whilst my relatives always telling them not to become like me and it just really upsets me and lowers my confidence and self esteem. Ive tried many times to stick to portion controlling and eating healthy but I just quit after couple of days. Tried going on walks but get so tired quickly and I feel so embarrassed that people might laugh at me and talk behind my back since where I live everyone knows each other as it’s a small town. I can’t even exercise at home because of the little space and it’s really overcrowded so no privacy. Gym is out of the question as I can’t afford it. Can someone give me suggestions on how I can stay motivated to lose weight, I feel so upset about what I’ve done to my body and I’m only 20 years old I have stretch marks all over my body and feel sick when I look at myself when I shower. Please help me stay motivated to lose weight and any tips for me to lose weight.

I appreciate anyone who replies to this.

Start off with smaller goals.

Lose half a stone/stone.

Break it up into little goals. Therefore losing 8 stone won't feel so daunting.

How tall are you?

What are your eating habits currently?

Lemonysherbet · 25/12/2020 10:55

I feel very much the same as you op. One thing I keep thinking to myself is how amazing my body is (even more so as I've had my first baby 6 months ago) and how I need to look after it.

I know it's hard but if you can, can you be a bit kinder to yourself. It's hard losing weight and if you beat yourself down it lets other people think its ok to do so.

With the walking can you build it up slowly. Do 10 minutes on day, then 15 the next. I find I tend to try and go a bit too hardcore and want to run 5k (I can't run) when really I should be walking for 20 minutes.

And then start making small changes with food. That's my biggest downfall. I love sugar. I'm addicted.

Have you considered a support group. I found slimming world good a couple of years ago and am going to use what I learnt from it after Xmas to kick-start my journey to a healthier me.

Sorry my reply is very focused on me but being in a similar situation I thought it might help talk through my thoughts.

FatGirlShrinking · 25/12/2020 11:01

Hello!

First off, join one of the groups on here that support each other, here's a couple

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight losss_chat/4094146-LOSE-IT-December-2020

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight losss_chat/4097783-The-December-thread-Lose-7lbs-3kg-per-month

You can do exercise in your own home and there are loads of free programmes on YouTube or the OurParks website.

Weight loss is mainly about how much and what you eat though so I always recommend using an app like my fitness pal and a pair of scales to log everything you eat and drink.

I've been doing that since 1st August and have lost 3 and a half stone from 16st 9 to 13st 2. At my highest I have been around 20st when I was about your age, I'm 37 now.

Don't go into it all guns blazing and restrict your food so much you get miserable. You should aim initially for about 1600 calories and take the time to get used to what portion sizes look like.

I always find that reducing carbs helps, it stops my sugar levels spiking which stops the surges of hunger and craving for snacks, it also helps because carbs are high in calories so you can have more food on your plate if you swap them for good veg like green beans, baby corn, mushrooms, asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower... all of which are very low cal (a cup full of mushrooms is about 30 calories.

High fat and high protein will also fill you up for longer, so you can have a 2 egg omelette (med egg 65 cals) loaded with mushrooms, onions, peppers and a small amount of strong cheddar or larger amount of reduced fat cheddar for under 200 calories. 1 slice of whole grain bread is 120 calories without anything on it and won't keep you full for anywhere near the same amount of time.

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:31

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare thanks for the reply and from tomorrow I’m going to start going on my walks again and like @Lemonysherbet said I’m going to build it up slowly.

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Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:33

@qwerty45 I’m 5.5” tall and I eat the usual 3 meals a day so breakfast lunch and dinner but I think my problem is I eat too much of it like big portion and just can’t say no to food in general, and don’t really vegetables with every meal it’s more carbs based.

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LongPauseNoAnswer · 25/12/2020 14:33

I lost 8 stone with keto diet 4 years ago and I’ve kept it off. I am a carb addict so portion control and everything in moderation etc doesn’t work for me. I need to cut it all out.

I started keto and the weight literally fell of me in a year with no calorie counting and no exercise. Try low carb first and see how you get on. It can be done!

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:36

Hi @Lemonysherbet and congratulations on your first child.
Thank you for replying and I’m going to slowly build up instead of going for it in one go and I wish you all the best in your own journey.

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Sportycustard · 25/12/2020 14:37

I'm in a similar position @swags12. I'm starting with our parks and walking a bit further each day. I lost half a stone before Christmas my reducing carbs to a minimum. It means a bit more prep for lunch but it was nice to eat healthier. I will be vack on it after Christmas

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:39

@FatGirlShrinking thank you the reply and well done one losing over 3 stones. Like you suggested I downloaded my fitness pal and I’m going to start using that. And like you I need to reduce my carb intake and start eating more protein but it’s so difficult as I’m south Asian and the food cooked at home are very carb based like rice.

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zzizz · 25/12/2020 14:42

I've lost 2 stone this year and gained muscle by eating way more protein, fruit and veg, and cutting out sugar and processed foods. So basically reversing my diet entirely. The first few weeks were awful but your taste buds and appetite adjust, honestly!

I also bought a rebounder and starting daily exercise indoors. No one can see you, its so much fun and it's better on your joints than running. I then have a daily walk too.

Its addictive once you start seeing results, you just need to stick with it OP! How about if you posted back here with your progress or joined one of the long-running threads?

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:42

Thank you @LongPauseNoAnswer I’m going to try reduce my carb intake slowly but it’s really difficult as the food cooked at home is literally rice for lunch and dinner as I’m south Asian but next grocery shopping I’m going to try get more food that aren’t high on carbs

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zzizz · 25/12/2020 14:42

Also I've found my fitbit really helpful. I log food on that and it syncs up to record exercise programmes and sleep.

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:43

@Sportycustard i wish you all the best and continue the walks and like you I’m going to start tomorrow as I want to enjoy Christmas dinner today.

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Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 14:46

@zzizz thank you for replying and well done on losing 2 stones. In 2016 I lost 4 stones but that’s because I use to go gym 4x a week and felt really motivated. I don’t know what’s happening now. And I’m going to sit back on this thread after I’ve lost 1-2 stones to report my progress.

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zzizz · 25/12/2020 14:50

Just remember you're breaking addictions and habits here and that's bloody hard - but you can do it. I didn't believe I could and I've shocked myself silly by getting healthy. Obviously you don't know me at all but I've never exercised or eaten well in my life until this year then I turned it all around, and its made such a difference. The energy and feeling of being small again is incredible.

Some of the gyms around me are desperately trying to get members at the moment with reduced offers, it might be worth checking near you too?

Can your family help to support you at all? You mentioned that your sisters are slimmer, would they be supportive or is that not quite the dynamic with you?

zzizz · 25/12/2020 14:51

Sorry by the way, the app is deleting all my paragraph breaks!

fairydustandpixies · 25/12/2020 15:07

I'm in the same boat OP. I need to have surgery on my back asap but they won't operate until I lose weight. Ask your GP if they have a wellbeing service to support you. I've lost a stone in four and a half weeks with their advice. Don't look at the end goal, just aim for a pound or two off a week. The end goal always seems impossible so start small. You'll get there! Good luck!!

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 25/12/2020 15:50

Stay focused and get help in real life as well as online. Like pp have said, make small goals every few months.

Once you have started to lose weight, it will be easier to exercise. Focus on getting strong, that will help you learn to appreciate your body and what it can do. Weight training, etc. Find a hobby that requires a strong body and work towards that.

This time next year, you're going to look amazing. You can get a beautiful dress or outfit and everyone will say how gorgeous you look. More importantly, you will agree with them. Make 2021 your year, the year that you learn to love and appreciate yourself.

FatGirlShrinking · 25/12/2020 15:50

@swags12, look for easy alternatives, sorry I don't know much about south Asian food but if they're riced based, could you get the microwave cauliflower rice and just do yourself a portion of that to go with lunch and dinner and still have the other parts in a more portion controlled way, so you still eat with the family?

I also tend to steam greenbeans/asparagus/ baby corn in the microwave in a jug with a dash of water and covered in cling film for 3 minutes and have that with whatever DH and DD are having instead of the carb element.

Of if they're having something like chips/potato wedges, I stick some greenbeans or broccoli on a tray with a little olive oil and salt and have that roasted.

ilovespinach · 25/12/2020 15:52

I've lost over 3 stone this year by intermittent fasting. Basically not eating breakfast and not snacking in the evening. It's been relatively easy to stay motivated as it really works. Look it up.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 25/12/2020 16:00

Do you still live with your parents, OP? That does make it harder - no privacy, someone else cooking, people commenting on everything you do! You need some way of cutting down that works with that.

Could you try following these rules:

No snacks between meals (or if you absolutely must as you get used to it, make it fruit or something low-carb)
No sugar
No takeaways/junk eg crisps
Low-carb breakfast
Walk at least 20 mins a day

Could you do that without too much bother/nosiness?

Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 17:25

@zzizz
Gym isn’t an option at the moment, but I’ve looked up some home exercises like body project and going to start going for walks. My sisters are supportive and I have spoken to them about this.

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Original poster

Swags12 · 25/12/2020 17:27

@fairydustandpixies
Thank you for the reply and yes I’m going to start with 1-2lbs a week and focus on smaller goals.

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TheStirrer · 25/12/2020 17:27

Walking absolutely fine. I have lost 6 stone this year low carbing and walking. Started of slowly and built up to an hour Brisk walk each day..... perfectly doable. I eat 1650 cals a day and less than 100g of carbs as couldn’t stick to keto.
What has helped me is being able to get back on the wagon - if you have a flat tyre you don’t slash the rest of the tyres - you just need to put it behind you and carry on. It has taken me 50 years to get fat and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to lose or as long as I do.... another 3 stone to go for me.
Keep going - a step at a time...