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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

Getting out of nights out/meals

29 replies

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:02

I need a bit of advice please. I've been doing the Cambridge plan but am keeping it private, I don't want anyone to know unless I can't avoid it. Ive always struggled with my weight, I've put on a brave face but deep down, have been really unhappy with the way I look.
I have a group of 'fit' friends who do a lot of running. They are all really lovely but I wouldn't say we're really close friends (ie. we don't feel the need to catch up over a cuppa if we haven't seen each other for a few weeks). Anyway, we' have a Xmas night out planned which I'm looking forward to as its the first week after I complete my 12 weeks on the Cambridge Plan (though I will be plan and be careful). However, they are now trying to organise something in the next couple of weeks and I know it will involve loads of food and drink. I'm not willing to fall off plan for this but I also don't want people to know I'm doing this plan. I know I might also have a works Xmas meal coming up and my Mum wants to go Xmas shopping and take me out for lunch in the next few weeks - aaaaarrrggghhh!!! What can I do? what excuse can I come up with? I really don't want to tell all these people about it because they will start asking loads of questions and scrutinising my choice and even try to sabotage it (my Mum is really bad for this). Its making me really anxious thinking about how to deal with these situations.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 24/10/2020 20:05

Can't you just go and eat what you want without explaining? Would anyone really notice? I certainly don't care or comment on anything someone has ordered.

MikeUniformMike · 24/10/2020 20:06

I'm someone who will go along and not eat anything unless I want to.
It's fine. I do it because there are some food I can't eat as it will make me ill.

People get used to it. I'd make an excuse that you've had bad indigestion and need to avoid rich food, or something.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:15

sorry I should have explained that Im on a total meal replacement. So I'd either go and not eat anything (and have to watch everyone else around me eating lovely food which Im not sure I could cope with!) or I take one of my products which would totally give the game away and I think would make them feel uncomfortable about eating and drinking around me. I'd rather not put myself or them in that situation.

OP posts:

Queenoftheashes · 24/10/2020 20:17

Just use COVID - not comfortable with risks

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:21

Hi,
This was a worry for me when I was doing cwp and for a while afterwards. Have a chat with your consultant. It's important long term that you are able to make good choices and not be freaked out by real food.

I found I could order a protein and veg meal and it would be fine, nobody would notice if I left the chips etc.
You can order steak,chicken or fish and a big portion of veg.

As for lunch, how about an order of soup and salad?

The trick is to avoid the alcohol, drink plenty of water and get straight back on plan in the morning. It's totally doable.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/10/2020 20:23

You aren't willing to replace one meal replacement for a "normal" meal in order to spend time with friends? You can easily order something healthy that would be similar to whatever guidelines you're adhering to. Losing weight and taking charge of your health is a great thing, but allowing the program you're using to prevent you from living a normal life is just silly and not sustainable.

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:23

alternatively say you can't make it for dinner but want to join them afterwards.

vizlsapup · 24/10/2020 20:27

Something like tapas is great for a diet as you can pick and choose. I usually look at the menu in advance and decide. For drinks, I'd start with one then move onto soft.

Flexibility for one day is ok.

Also, sod what other people think, being healthy is great.

vizlsapup · 24/10/2020 20:28

I should say I have no idea what the Cambridge plan is.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:31

@Aquamarine1029

sorry I should have explained Im on a total meal replacement. I've committed to it for 12 weeks of my life - thats all. The I will start incorporating food into my life. Its not just one meal though, its a few things Ive been invited to - one of which is with these friends in Dec which I am going to, so I don't want to come off the plan for another night out with them in Nov. Im trying to strike a balance.

OP posts:

vizlsapup · 24/10/2020 20:32

Oh I see RTFT!

It depends how important completing the whole 12 weeks is to you. I doubt it will ruin the plan although you would need to be moderate as I imagine you could feel rough going from meal replacement to full meal and alcohol.

I agree meeting for a drink is a good half way house (excuse the pun).

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:35

It's a meal replacement plan initially (shakes, bars, soups etc) but then you reintroduce healthy foods and learn better habits. Easy to feel like you'll get derailed by social events in the weeks where it's just meal replacement.
Meal replacement isn't supposed to be a sustainable way of eating in my opinion, but it's a great way to pause, shift some weight and re-establish better habits for the longer term.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:35

@vizlsapup

Something like tapas is great for a diet as you can pick and choose. I usually look at the menu in advance and decide. For drinks, I'd start with one then move onto soft.

Flexibility for one day is ok.

Also, sod what other people think, being healthy is great.

for the meal out in Dec is in a restaurant and I'm comfortable making healthy choices but the other night Ive been invited to is a girls night in, they've said to bring lots of booze and they will be ordering in pizza and chinese. Its a situation I dont want to be in (Im on a total meal replacement for 12 weeks only) and I'll make myself (and possibly them) feel uncomfrotable. I should add I havent seen them at all since Jan, so I am a little perplexed why they are organising a night just a couple of weeks before another night out. Im just trying to strike a balance.

OP posts:

MikeUniformMike · 24/10/2020 20:37

I followed the Cambridge diet decades ago and it might have changed by now. It is unbelievably strict but it works.

Use COVID as an excuse and bail out.

@Aquamarine1029, I'm sure you mean well but your post wasn't helpful.

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:37

how about see if you can get a copy of the menus online and take it with you to see your consultant? chinese and pizza are tough though.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:41

@vizlsapup

Oh I see RTFT!

I agree meeting for a drink is a good half way house (excuse the pun).

yes I was putting on so much weight during lockdown and felt like crap. I had no social life with COVID so decided there was never a better time to commit to it, hit it hard and fast. I've been doing really well and Im really looking forward to the night out in Dec where Im hoping to buy a new outfit and feel really good about myself (for the first time in ages). Ive found out the other night is a girls night in with chinese and pizza so thats going to be a really difficult situation to be in and it will make me poorly too (food is carefully re-introduced on the plan). I'd rather just get out of it to be honest but don't know what to say x

OP posts:

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:44

@MikeUniformMike

I followed the Cambridge diet decades ago and it might have changed by now. It is unbelievably strict but it works.

Use COVID as an excuse and bail out.

@Aquamarine1029, I'm sure you mean well but your post wasn't helpful.

Thank you x I should have explained a bit more what the plan was and the step I'm on. if I was on WW for example, I would have been able to take the advice and plan around it but unfortunately not on this one (for now!)

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MikeUniformMike · 24/10/2020 20:47

I'd avoid meals out until you are off the plan and have established healthy eating habits.

Keep going and well done on your willpower.

Honeyandapple · 24/10/2020 20:48

I would sit it out. Are these things really going to be going ahead with COVID anyway? I wouldn't be so sure.
If you have to go to one or two of them, a friend of mine sometimes uses the excuse 'I have been having some dental work and can't eat properly at the moment, I'm here for a drink only'. No problem.

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:48

well done cookiepops, i think covid is a great time to focus on it. how many weeks have you done so far?

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:54

@nevergooogle

It's a meal replacement plan initially (shakes, bars, soups etc) but then you reintroduce healthy foods and learn better habits. Easy to feel like you'll get derailed by social events in the weeks where it's just meal replacement. Meal replacement isn't supposed to be a sustainable way of eating in my opinion, but it's a great way to pause, shift some weight and re-establish better habits for the longer term.

thank you. Thats exactly what Im trying to do. I had never done CWP before and with everything happening with Covid, I found I was getting into a really bad place with food and how it was making me feel (my issues go beyond just bad eating habits'). So I wanted to press the pause button, take food out of the equation for a while and with covid, had no social life anyway! so thought nows the best time. Thats why it is so important that I commit to this for the 12 weeks (finishes mid Dec) - as much for my mental health and wellbeing and knowing that I accomplished it as well as the actual weight loss.

OP posts:

nevergooogle · 24/10/2020 20:55

fabulous. i'm excited for you.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 20:58

@MikeUniformMike

I'd avoid meals out until you are off the plan and have established healthy eating habits.

Keep going and well done on your willpower.

thank you! Its been tough but Im staying strong and starting to really see results. 6 weeks down, 6 to go!

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dudsville · 24/10/2020 21:01

Hm, there's good advice here about sensible choices, but I here what you're saying about how you have struggled and I think given your commitment to this one time 12 week period, and the possibility for feeling really proud of yourself for doing it, if I were in your shoes I'd bail. Have a sudden tickly cough the day before, text, then on the day confirm it lasted all night so you have to bow out. Like a pp said, use the pandemic. Be anxious about mixing.

Well done by the way. You've chosen a strict path send clearly are motivated to finish it. I admire your choice and how you want to change your relationship to food.

Original poster

Cookiepops40 · 24/10/2020 21:01

@nevergooogle

well done cookiepops, i think covid is a great time to focus on it. how many weeks have you done so far?

hi, thank you - Im 6 weeks in and lost just over 2.5 stone. I have 5 to lose altogether. I dont think for a moment I will lose another 2.5 stone in the next 6 weeks but just as importantly for me, the headaches, bad skin and terrible stomach aches I was having before I made the decision to do this plan have now all gone. Thats why its so important for me to complete the 12 weeks knowing I have stayed true to the plan.

OP posts:

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