I need to lose weight - but I just don't want to?! Where do you find your motivation?

[KINGF1SHER]

I am a good three stone overweight. I need to lose weight from a health perspective, from a confidence perspective, from all perspectives really.

And, when I think about it, sure it would be lovely to be slimmer, to wear my old clothes, to be less self-conscious about my belly and my double chin.

But the problem is that when it comes down to it: I like food, and I especially like sweet food! I like having a pudding after dinner. I like having a piece of cake with my coffee. It's as though I like food more than I want to be slimmer.

How do you find the motivation? I even book on for gym classes (ones I enjoy) but then cancel because when it comes to it, I'd rather remain comfy on the sofa and watch TV or continue reading my book. I just seem to have no impetus at all?!

@WillowySnicket, @Snowpaw food for thought, thank you

I could have written the OP myself.

I need to lose about 5 stone to get to a healthy weight but I have no motivation. I love food and don't exercise apart from a couple of long walks at the weekend.

I was doing ok with intermittent fasting a few months ago but life got stressful and I turned to chocolate bars

I hear you op. I need to lose 6 stone. I've lost 8lb so far which is great, but it's so fucking boring. It's really sucked the enjoyment out of my life.

I’m losing a steady pound a week, but I’m not on a diet.

I’m tracking my calories. I’ve set myself a 1800 calories a day limit, and within that I eat what I like.

I do exercise to stay fit and mentally healthy, and that also helps me create a calorie deficit. I never eat my calories back.

I’ve just had meat pie,roast potatoes, veg and gravy for dinner. I really enjoyed every bite, logged the lot and still came in at under the 1800.

It’s just keeping an eye on my health. Not a diet. A lifestyle change.

You need to realise that you will still eat and eat good stuff.

I love cooking and food and wine. That's why I am morbidly obese...
However, I am now losing weight, kilo a week, and i still love cooking and food and wine.
I just love it in smaller amounts basically. Except the wine😁
Currently sitting here enjoying my cheese and apple and crackers snack😁

Quality, not quantity. Took me a while to realise. Kind of wish i realised it years ago...

I was always in the mindset that while I could lose a few pounds, I can't be bothered to do anything about it. While I was not exactly slim, until my late 20s I ate whatever I wanted and didn't put on any weight. I should have been a lot bigger than I was considering my diet , which saw me go way over the recommended calorie intake a day.

Once I started driving to work rather than walking and catching a train, I noticed my clothes were a bit tighter, but I didn't worry too much. Then, lockdown happened and I ate ate ate and barely moved at all. In July I was shocked when I weighed myself at almost 11 stone (which is overweight for someone who is 5'3). This kicked me into doing something- I started intermittent fasting which means I can still eat nice things but only within certain hours. Once the weight started coming off, I felt motivated as I knew it was working.

I am now down to 9 and half stone after 3 months. Some may still call that big, but I am in the healthy BMI range so i am happier.

I want to lose weight. I want to feel better about myself. I want my clothes to fit. I want to have my nice back rather than the chubby little rolls I have now.

But I don't want to have to eat less yummy food, and I don't want to go to the gym, and I don't want to feel hungry.

So I'm not sure how to make the two things reconcile.

But with a BMI about to tip 30 and the end of yet another year approaching i need to do something.

My goal as of tomorrow is to get to a healthy BMI and finish couch to 5k by the end of the year.

I'm figuring this Christmas isn't going to have the same distractions as previous years, and I want to feel like I have achieved something. Only problem I s I have no idea how to do it!

My pal is just a stone heavier than me and has just been diagnosed with type two diabetes. It’s done permanent damage to her eyes and she’s to get her feet checked. Something to do with circulation or something.

Scared the living shit out of me. I like having eyesight. I want healthy feet.

So far I have lost nearly half a stone but it was walking every night that helped me. It panned out as not every night as I was too tired, but now it’s nothing at all because it’s dark and crap weather so I’m struggling.

I hope I can get my motivation back as I’m old and it’s harder to lose weight the older you get!

Why is it all the good food is bad for you? It’s not fair!!!

No I absolutely don't feel tired. I feel better than I have done in ages and I have loads of energy. I have no cravings and don't feel hungry. I'm astonished by how easy it is and the results really are amazing.

You can give them the same and just add carbs to theirs but I'm veggie and the family aren't so I've always done different meals anyway.

@Nosuchthingastoomuchcheese

Do you only eat 800 calories? I dont think I could do that!

That's what I thought but because it's plenty of protein and full fat yoghurt, cheese etc you do not feel hungry. I was so surprised but it's really easy to stick to. Online plan generates you a meal plan which you can change and then a shopping list but lots of the people in the Facebook group just use the Fast 800 recipe book. You do that for 12 weeks then transition to 5:2 and then maintenance. You can go back to the 800 after a break if you wish but I won't need to as I've lost most of what I want to already so can move to 5:2 and lose at a slower pace in a few weeks when I've finished my 12 weeks. I've tried many diets and this is by far the best. The health benefits are great too.

I feel the same way OP, whoever said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" obviously hadn't tasted chocolate, chips, bread, meat, butter, cake, biscuits, wine, ice cream...

I think most people feel like they like being lazy,vans enjoy eating junk food. But once you start fueling your body with healthy food it can really lift your mood and finding a hobby or something enjoyable for exercise is key. You don't have to go around feeling hungry and deprived. Being in a fog of junk food really does cloud your mind and makes you lethargic.

I look at people in the older generation to me and think the slim healthy active ones seem happier and that's what I'm aiming for.

Willpower doesn't just materialize, you have to create habits.

So much of what you describe is just habit - you're in the habit of having cake with your coffee, you're in the habit of not exercising... you can change those habits very quickly. It's just very difficult to bebstrict with yourself those first few times

I did the fast 800 last year and had great results, but I didn't switch to maintenance and so within months gained it all back. Then when I tried to do it again this year I found it messed with my mood so much I ended up in a binge and restrict cycle. Then I just kind of gave up. I took all of my smaller clothes out of the wardrobe and told myself this is the new normal. Then I had my "awakening" experience I guess and I started a one to one diet coaching and fitness plan. And for the first week I hated it, felt so awful, almost quit. But I kept going because I had paid a lot and o had committed myself mentally. And after the first week I started to feel so much better and now I'm really enjoying it.

So, no matter what the plan, get your head around the fact that
A) the first week will be horrible
B) you WILL feel better
C) target weight can never be the end

I feel your pain OP, I’ve got at least that to lose (I dream of being 11 stone at 5’3 like a previous pp) but especially at the moment eating and drinking are one of the few pleasures available 🙄

I’m having a look too but it’s £79 to sign up!

Depends whether you can afford it of course but paying for it can be a huge motivation if you hate wasting money!

Oh has gone vegetarian so the rest of the household has too. Are there enough veggie recipes?

I also like my food and wine. For me, its one of the main pleasures of life. I'm also a real foodie, with a sweet tooth. Tea without sugar, no thanks!

We are surrounded by amazing food in supermarkets, foods from all over the world, the level of sophistication now is amazing for those who are interested. Later in the week I will be creating a recipe using buratta cheese, capers, soda noodles etc. 40 years ago no-one I knew had even heard of these things. There are amazing recipes and books by chefs everywhere. Even great readymeals e.g. M&S.

So, if anything, I'm amazed people are not even more overweight.

I don't have any answers OP. The main way I deal with at the moment is to have days where I eat as simply and modestly as I can and minimise the sweeter stuff. I'll never be size 8. But at the moment a reasonably happy size 14. Is that progress?

@WillowySnicket

I read something *@TwentySixPointTwo* said a while back on a similar thread: motivation wavers, commitment lasts. "Sometimes I want to walk the dog and am motivated (warm, sunny days). Sometimes I don't want to do it and am not motivated (rainy, windy ones) - but motivation does not determine whether or not I walk the dog. I got the dog, I committed to his care - therefore, if he is due a walk, he gets a walk. I just do it, because I committed to it."

I thought that was a brilliant way of looking at it because I'm motivated by results, so when they don't go my way I think "urgh what's the point I might as well just go back to how I was before." Whereas commitment says "regardless of what happens, this is how I do things now."

I think this is the most helpful mindset.

My motivation with weight-loss and health wavers A LOT. I would say I am great for two weeks, and then I have a week of being a bit rubbish. But the key thing is getting back to good habits, because I made a commitment to myself to never get back to my highest weight, and to my family to stick around for as long as I can.

OP, this article really helped change the way I think about eating well and exercising - it is self care. Yes, it can be so boring to track my food and exercise when I just want to snuggle on the sofa. But brushing and flossing my teeth are boring, too, but I'd never imagine not doing those things, because I need to look after my teeth. Same principle applies to your body. It needs to be used, and it needs the right amount of fuel.

Thanks everyone. It took me a while to learn the importance of the change in appoach because I used to think that the 'fired up, cannot wait to do it, all guns blazing, easy to stay on track' mentality that came at the beginning of a diet was the right way to be. That where I was failing was in not being able to maintain that feeling throughout.

I know now that is not true. The only way a diet ever worked, long term for me, was to change to focussing on what I could realistically commit to and doing so.

I cannot commit to walking 5 dogs a day, so I don't aim to have 5 dogs.

I cannot commit to going to the gym several times a week so any weight loss that required that level of commitment was going to be a waste of time, because I was never going to maintain it.

What I could commit to doing for the rest of my life was:

• tracking my food
• eating smaller portions and lighter options on weekdays, having mnore but not over doing it on weekends
• walking the dog twice a day, every day
• running at least 3 times a week
• prioritising sleep
• reducing sources of stress
• changing the way I spoke to/about myself so that I no longer told myself bs like "your body is disgusting" (at any weight)

I committed to those things and the result was a pretty large weight loss, over a long period of time. One that stuck and was easy to maintain because all it required were the things I was happy to do.

Too often we prioritise getting to a certain lb goal. e.g. "I want to weight 120lbs". This is a waste of time (imo). We should focus on what things we can/are happy to change for the better - let the goal weight then take care of itself. e.g. if those changes just result in an end weight of 135lbs, it's likely this is better than wherever you started and something that will last for your lifetimes. Not something that will result in regain, shame, guilt, disappointment etc.

@TwentySixPointTwo that’s a great post. You’ve summed up where I’m trying to get to.

Hi @TwentySixPointTwo, I feel like I want to print that post out and stick it on my calendar!!

Another shout for low carb. It really works.

Also, if you can skip breakfast then eat 2 sensible meals per day you could realistically eat only 1000 cals per day. If you do that, it'll melt off you.