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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Feeling so alone and sad

87 replies

buntingandstarcharts · 10/08/2020 13:47

I need to discussion anonymously how I am feeling as I feel I have no where else to go with it. So can I blurt this all out and maybe have some wise kind words?

I've always struggled with my weight, I've been a size 10 and a size 20. Every single one of my friends and family are slim, including my husband who I adore, he's kind and suppprtive but all his previous partners have been tiny so I know that's 'his thing'. When I married him I was a nice size 12 but since having our baby I've got fatter and fatter, my bmi is definitely too high, probably in the obese category if I'm honest. I've become more and more self conscious but I've always been quite confident and outgoing and I have felt I've maintained that air of happiness whilst inside feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed and worried of what others might be thinking of me - that I've allowed myself to get bigger again. I'm extremely sensitive about it and have dieted so many times that 'this time' I had decided to be fit and healthy but mainly just to accept my size and practise a bit of 'self love' rather than calorie count and obsessing about the number on the scales and just hope that everyone close to me would support that mentality. There's lots of body positivity around at the moment and I had decided that my yo-yo dieting hadn't worked in the past so I should try and accept myself as I am and maybe in the process lose some weight through positive outlook on food/myself. Who am I kidding?!

However, my worst fears were realised when last night my husband said he was worried about my weight. He said he was less attracted to me and that I should lose weight for health reasons (I am relatively fit albeit much less than I used to be). He was having ice cream because he had been on a bike ride but he said he wouldn't have ice cream if he hadn't. I was mortified, ashamed, sad and feel so down about it. I feel like I need to change now for others and myself too through this push from everyone else, but I am so torn. I want him to feel attracted and proud of me but also was trying to feel confident with how I am. I now feel like I'm not good enough and tbh a bit woe is me. I feel ashamed and my self esteem has been whacked out of me. He wasn't even being mean, just very honest and I'm shocked at how hurt it has made me. He said he was worried I would get sick easier etc. I mentioned this in a chat with my mum this morning and we were laughing in a girl to girl kind of way and I said I should probably go on a diet as my husband had said the above and she said 'ok we will help you too'.

Five minutes later she rang my husband to congratulate him on 'getting through to me' and that they'd been thinking the same. It was so awkward and I felt like a 15 year old child who was having to have some sort of an intervention and everyone had been scheming and planning behind my back. I feel mortified. If my husband, mum and dad have been thinking I need a diet, then god knows how many other people think I look unhealthy and bad. I just feel desperately alone as I feel trapped in a corner. They've literally made me go on a diet for my own good with no real decision of my own. Some may say this was needed/it's good to have support/great to have family that care/a kick up the bum is needed/they're just saying what is obvious. Whilst I know that, I just feel so sad and down in the dumps about my appearance which I've always taken such care with.

I've decided to do the Fast 800 if anyone else is doing it?

OP posts:
Lovelymonkeyninetynine · 12/08/2020 12:55

Oh op I really feel sad for you. I think your husband and your mum we're out of line to be honest, especially your mum!
Weight loss is not often sustainable, you're not alone in struggling! I too got in to the bopo movement after years of weight cycling and I definitely learned a lot from it but I do think it denies the reality that being very large is most often quite miserable.
But: it did remind me to separate health and weight. So, I started running for my health and mind, not to lose weight. Made sure I ate loads of veg, for health. Drank loads of water. Really embedding those habits separate to feelings of shame about my body.
I realise I'll always struggle with my weight and want to be thinner but I accept where I am and remind myself of everything that's not about my dress size. Be kind to yourself, otherwise eating the contents of the fridge will feel rebellious and a way to treat yourself.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 12/08/2020 12:57

Hello @buntingandstarcharts I haven't RTFT so not sure if anyone else has recommended TeamRH? If you have Facebook have a wee look, they have a page that you can look at and not have to be a member. They set totally realistic calories (I'm on 1700 per day, 5'6" and 12st) and back it up with science. There is no starving yourself and they work on the 80:20 ratio (80% good food to 20% shite!). Monthly sign up is £6 and annual is £59 or thereabouts but there's no push to get you to sign up. I honestly think they're brilliant and I promise I'm not an affiliate, I'm so enthusiastic because they're a game changer and totally sustainable.

Oh and any change to diet and lifestyle is soooo much easier with your family supporting you. Good luck Smile

justanotherneighinparadise · 12/08/2020 13:05

I tried teamRH and lost not one pound, though I’m sure it works for some.

Like I said, horses for courses but please don’t dismiss a movement with a HUGE amount of science and data behind it as a fad. If you listened to the research and the doctors, engineers and scientists, you just wouldn’t be able to dismiss it so easily. We are in the midst of a global diabetes epidemic and counting calories won’t get us out of it. It’s going to take the titanic turning which is why all the data is being collected to force governments to change their eating advice in the future.

buntingandstarcharts · 16/08/2020 12:02

@Allthenumbers thank you for your post. I'm so sorry for replying so late, my baby is so full on and all my spare time has been on researching and getting into healthy mindset. The Noom app sounds very dry interesting, I've seen adverts actually and wondered about it. Has it been successful for you? It's easy to emotional eat with you're busy with small children and I imagine it is very easy to sideline your own self when your child is being assessed for autusmDaffodil

OP posts:
buntingandstarcharts · 16/08/2020 12:05

@Franticbutterfly thanks for your post. I actually have done exactly that. I have done tre and have in fact followed the fast 800 approach which although many think faddy, I think I can do that and then the 5:2 and hopefully keep that approach for life. The low carb and no junk obviously works as I've lost 11lb in one week eating lots of nutrient rich foods. Yay.

OP posts:
Franticbutterfly · 16/08/2020 12:09

@buntingandstarcharts OMG!!! That's amazing!!! Well done!!!!

buntingandstarcharts · 16/08/2020 12:12

@SilverYellow and @myfuckingfreezer amazing weight losses, absolutely amazing to be on a plan that works and makes you feel great ❤️ thanks for your help and support

OP posts:
buntingandstarcharts · 16/08/2020 12:16

@monkeyonthetable thanks for your motivational post. It seems like you really are taking control and feeling good about yourself with the fitness classes. Amazing. Also thanks for the online classes, I'm definitely going to try some of them. SmileSmilethe self love is definitely something I need to work on and a week after the 'incident' I can see they did it because they care but I still feel a level of fury at my mum!

OP posts:
Polomintini · 16/08/2020 12:23

I really feel for you but it does sound like your husband and mum are on your side. I’ve lost a stone during lockdown through walking and intermittent fasting (I do 16:8). I’d wholly recommend reading the obesity code and looking for gin Steven’s book fast,feast repeat. Also look at podcasts to help inspire you, they are free and you can listen while you go for walks. I’d recommend we only look thin, and American husband and wife couple who lost over 100lbs each through diet and walking alone and now try their best to keep it off and help others in a really engaging and funny way with lots of tips to get started. All the best of luck to you xxx

buntingandstarcharts · 16/08/2020 12:27

@Lovelymonkeyninetynine I've written down part of your post as inspiration 😀

OP posts:
Antst · 16/08/2020 13:10

@buntingandstarchartsbuntingandstarcharts I'm a bit late to the conversation and you're probably sick of reading replies, but I'm so struck by your message that I'll reply anyway, just in case you are still checking in.

I obviously don't know your husband and therefore can't say whether his conversation with you came from a place of love, respect, and concern or somewhere negative. You're focusing on the message, but when you have had a chance to let it settle, I hope you'll think about your husband's attitude. It sounds like he said what you acknowledge you need to hear, but separate from that message, I think it's important to consider whether he is being supportive or not. If he is not, then I hope you can find an outside person to support you because it sounds like you're quite down on yourself and you don't need a fed-up/angry/vengeful spouse exacerbating that. I'm going to assume here that he is being supportive.

If the shoe were on the other foot and your husband were drinking too much or gaining too much weight or spending too much time in front of the TV, I hope you'd say something. One of the benefits of marriage is to have someone to look out for us. If your husband is coming from a place of support, this is how you need to see his comment and your mother's. You are lucky to have people who are close enough to have these conversations with you. Letting someone hurt herself is not supportive. Focus on the problemthe weightand let go of your embarrassment of the communication. This is what resilience is--being able to move past issues and focus on what needs to be done. If you can develop this skill, it will help you in so many areas of your life.

My weight goes WAY up and way down periodically. I wish I could be like my friends and family and do things in moderation. I'm either running marathons and lifting over 1.5 x what I weigh at the gym or getting no exercise because work is so crazy and gaining a lot of weight. But whatever. It's how I'm wired and my approach is to fix the problem when it gets out of hand!

I spent most of lockdown making cakes to impress my friends on Instagram. When I finally got around to ordering scales a month ago, I sent them back because I thought they must be broken. The replacement pair said the same though! It's frustrating. I have spent the last month on a very strict diet and exercise regime (and was surprised this morning to find I had only lost half the weight I expected), but please notice that I am not hating on myself. What am I going to do about it? Keep going.

I'll give this part its own paragraph because it's important. I am more than my weight and so are you. I'm sure there are other things you enjoy doing--being around your family, for example, your job, whatever hobbies you have. Your weight might be a problem to solve, but it does not define you and it's important to remember that everyone has problems.

Don't get me wrong. Your husband gave you important news for your health, happiness, and marriage. If it takes a while to solve the problem, it's no big deal. If you can make an effort, then that will be good for your marriage because you'll be spending time having fun with your husband and he'll see you're trying. Get him involved in supporting you with food too. It isn't going to be helpful if you're chugging a Slimfast for dinner while he is eating ice cream.

I repeat. This is one of MANY aspects of your life. It's one of life's many problems and it is unhealthy to let it take over your sense of who you are. I forget who said this--maybe Chrissy Teigen? We don't have to love our bodies, but we do have to accept them!

justanotherneighinparadise · 16/08/2020 14:18

[quote buntingandstarcharts]@Franticbutterfly thanks for your post. I actually have done exactly that. I have done tre and have in fact followed the fast 800 approach which although many think faddy, I think I can do that and then the 5:2 and hopefully keep that approach for life. The low carb and no junk obviously works as I've lost 11lb in one week eating lots of nutrient rich foods. Yay.[/quote]
Fantastic loss!!!!! The burning question is are you hungry?

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