My BMI is nearly 40

[Arrarker]

I was a fat child, fat teenager, fat adult.
I was going to be thin by 40, then 50. Those ships have sailed.
I've eaten myself to illness. My hip hurts, my knees can't do stairs. My blood pressure is high.
I have tried slimming groups, pills, meal replacements and hypnotherapy.
I hold down a professional, serious job. You would never know my daily mental struggles with food.
I had kids in the park call me names etc. I seem to be immune to feeling the self consciousness of obesity. I don't stress over it emotionally. But I can feel my body now telling me that I'm have hurt it. The aches and pains have erupted over the last year.

I bought an excise bike. My skinny husband is assembling it now.

So today's the day. I'm not going to snack. If I can get through the day and just have 3 small meals and no desserts I will be pleased.

My birthday is August 15th. I'm going to focus on that. Stick to a diet for 5 weeks.
I can't think about the bigger picture.

5 weeks.

Hi

I'm doing similar, just getting to my bday (early aug). Ive been bigger than you (bmi 43 pre kids) and am unfortunately heading back so I am trying to turn the tide. I found wearing a heart tracker and deciding to burn 100 cals during the evning tv adverts was a good start as it also stopped me snacking. Are you think to follow any sort of 'diet'?
Calorie counting all the way for me nothing else works.

I'm going to lower my carbs as much as possible and lower my calories and, if my clapped out body will let me! exercise more.

Hi Arraker, your first post describes me too. I am 48 and have been overweight since my early 20s - it never bothered me and I could also easily ignore random stranger comments until I realised my body was under so much strain, my knees were hurting.

My bmi at the start of this year was 39.2 and I weighed 16st 3lbs. I'm now at 12st 11lbs and bmi getting close to 30, so I still have a ways to go. But this year I am determined to get to 'normal', not even skinny, just 'normal'.

I have followed the 'lose 7lbs a month' thread since beginning of the year - they are a lovely bunch of ladies of various weights and I recently began posting on their thread. Reading their stories, following their tips, recipes and diet plans, as well as their ups and downs (because who finds losing weight easy?) helps me a whole lot and I plan to stay following them for a long time.

The easy part is knowing you have to do something, the hard part is doing it but only you can help yourself. I plan to give myself the year of 2020 to see how well I do, so your thinking of 5 weeks initially is a great plan. Good luck.

"I have tried slimming groups, pills, meal replacements and hypnotherapy."

There is really no need for any of those. In fact they are counter productive because they are not sustainable. Best way to drop the weight is have a nutrition plan consisting of:

Lean meats, fish, nuts, veg, fruit and limited pasta/rice/potatoes.

Stop eating junk and processed crap.

Thats about it.

@peanutbutterdog that's positive! Can you tell me how the loss has made you feel physically please? Rather than appearance

@SkinnyChicky

Wow! I never thought of your blindingly obvious cure!

Do you tell alcoholics to just drink water instead?

Or depressed people to simply cheer up?

I am well impressed. You've made a positive step forward, when it's so hard to even imagine. 5 weeks is still quite a huge deal, I think. I would love to hear updates from you.

Well done you've taken the first step.
No snacks is an excellent way to go. I recently decided to lose weight and thought I'd try it for 4 weeks (as I kept telling myself, anyone can do anything for 4 weeks). 7 weeks on I am still going and have lost 19lbs.

Take it easy, one small step at a time. Once you are happy on three meals and no snacks I would recommend a book called The Obesity Code by Jason Fung. It has been life changing for me and my DH (he has lost 2.5 stone in 7 weeks).

Well done and keep going!

"Wow! I never thought of your blindingly obvious cure!
Do you tell alcoholics to just drink water instead?
Or depressed people to simply cheer up?"

No need to be rude.

And may I just ask if it was so "blindingly obvious" why did you waste your time doing all the other shit you mentioned?

Hi. Just faced up to having a BMI of 36.6 and thats the reason I hurt every morning walking the dogs. I never dieted in my life, I never really minded being overweight. But over the past 3 years I have made more effort, but I have lost and regained the same 10 kilos 3 times now. No more excuses. I have to accept that I need to eat less and better for the rest of my life, or it will be shorter and less pleasant than I would want.
It’s weird, but I have been getting more and more miserable over the past few weeks, as the scale of my issue became apparent. Deciding to take control from now actually feels better, although I am really scared that it won’t work.
Good luck, maybe we can support each other?

@Arrarker

That is being unnecessarily sarcy towards skinny chick. At no point did you mention anything about the finer details of your eating habits. Many people try and overcomplicate weight loss wasting time and money on products that are of no real benefit and exist just to make money. Im sure she was commenting with best intentions.

Come to think of it you did not even ask a question in your post so how we know what sort of responses you are looking for? If you spend your time having a pop at people trying to help you then its little wonder you are still verging on morbidly obese.

@Moopoohootoo

Thanks for your input.

Sarcasm equals weight gain.

No point in dieting then. I will just speak to everyone in a happy, fluffy way. And offer thanks to those that patronise.

The pounds will melt away.

Have you considered weight loss surgery?

It never takes more than a few posts for people to pop up and tell you that you just need to stop being so lazy and greedy

Good for you for taking some positive steps @Arrarker. Any exercise you do will help so don't beat yourself up if you can only manage a little bit to start with. You'll get there, you sound like you've found your midset now.

Well perhaps if you actually specified what advice or comments you are looking for then you might get something back that you deem useful.

I hope the posters who tell fat people to not eat so much and move more stay off the mental health threads.

I've got to 6pm and have not succumbed to temptation yet.

For those paragons of nutritional virtue it may not seem much but it's good for me.

I'm going to keep the thread for the next 5 weeks and if anyone who is fat wants to join in please do.
I'm aiming for short, sharp shock to kickstart things.

If I stick to 5weeks I will reassess the next stage.

Well done. I've found that having some healthy snacks in the house helps - I'll try not to have anything but it's good to know that I can cave in to an extent without wrecking my day. I find evenings the hardest time, and they're so long at the moment. I have things like grapes and cashews that I can pick at, or sugar free jelly or a meringue if I need a sweet fix. Some porridge is good if you're feeling really hungry.

I lost a couple of stone not so long ago, in my early 50s, by eating really quite healthily, walking a bit, swimming a bit, and having a reasonably large piece of cake every weekend! I'd tried many times before and given up because I just couldn't stick to it, but knowing I could have that treat each weekend helped me keep going. Weight loss was slow but consistent. I know that wouldn't work for most people, but I thought I'd mention it, just in case it might help.
Good luck.

@Mspants

Nobody has called OP greedy but lets call a spade a spade. Anybody who has a BMI of 39 is eating too much. Thats not meant to be derogatory its just how it is. You can kid the forum that it isnt, and can probably kid yourself too but you cannot kid simple maths because its Kcals in vs Kcals out.

At my own heaviest I was just over 17 stone and I had tried several fads that were popular at the time. Cabbage soup and the meal replacement shakes you know the sort of thing. I went on them and had success for a while but eventually I fell off the wagon and my weight went up again. The reason my weight went up was because being on those diets taught me nothing about a good nutrition plan and they were not sustainable, well unless you plan on drinking weight loss shakes until the day you die.

In the end I ended up asking a girl at work who was a bit of a gym bunny but had a good figure. Took me weeks to build up the courage to ask her and I was rather offended at her blunt answer. Eat clean and eat less was the summary, but looking back thats all I needed to know. Obstacles to achieving this are individual and we can only assist OP if they give specifics on problems they are facing.

If you have a partner or family living with you they need to be on board. Myself I could not have any junk food in the house because I ate it. My partner reluctantly agreed we would only have fresh produce in the house and if he wanted a snack he could go to the shop and have one. He was not in the same boat as me being a natural ectomorph that could not put weight on if he tried. The key to staying on the wagon is motivation and nobody on this forum can get you motivated because it comes from within. If you are expecting us to solve that matter for you then its not going to happen.

Not going to lie the first two months were damn difficult for me. Nearly gave up because coming down to smaller (read normal person) portion sizes made me feel hungry and I was on tears some days. Not through the pain of hunger but the thought that I might fail again. I did have some moderate hunger pain but that was understanable because my stomach was bigger than it needed to be after all the years of over eating.

So glad I got told what I needed do even if I didnt appreciate it at the time. Now I prepare clean meals and I dont even have trouble avoiding junk food im enjoying my exercise too. After the first couple of months I could feel the weight coming off because my clothes were loose from there on it was a lot easier and the more I lose the more encouraged I got. The partner even has his junk food in the house again and im not interested. I treat myself to a yoghurt now and again but aside from that I hardly eat any crap.

Is that any better op? Or is that still the wrong answer?

Hi @Arrarker
My BMI was 35 in May which is the highest it's ever been. It's now 34 and I'm aiming for 29.
Can I please give you some advice? If you try to eat too little, change too much and go too fast you will almost definitely fall off the wagon.
You need to make a permanent lifestyle change. That means eating the things you enjoy and making sustainable changes. I would really suggest that you download My fitness pal and work out your TDEE (total amount of calories burnt per day). Deduct 500 or 750 from that number and plan your day to meet that target, including things you actually enjoy. This will make it possible for you to lose weight at a sustainable rate whilst actually learning about what you can eat to lose and maintain weight.
I am a person who has tried all the gimmicks too but this time I've hired a personal trainer and I'm determined to change my attitude to food. I've lost a stone whilst continuing to eat toast, chocolate and ice cream. (Just in very small quantities).
My other advice is that exercise is brilliant and necessary but is not where weight loss will happen. Weight loss happens in the kitchen.

I'm like MsPants, 9pm cup of tea is hard without biscuits and something nice. I also chose 3 meals a day and no snacks but its easy at the moment as I'm off work so day is shorter as I get up later so meals are closer together. Will have to see how I manage when I'm back up at 7.15 every morning!

Arraker, physically my knees aren't painful now, I can walk up the stairs without having to stop at the top, I can walk faster and longer, my heart rate has decreased as it doesnt have to work so hard, I have more energy and am inclined to get up and move around more so I'm busier now.

It's really hard to keep motivated and I know how easily I can fail and go backwards because I've done that so many times before but I want to do it this time. The very best of luck to you, I hope you find something that you find easy to stick to.

Be careful of calories in / calories out, after a while your body can respond by adjusting the calories it needs to match your reduced intake. You can end up feeling crap and not losing any weight.

Weight loss is simple (eat fewer calories than you burn off) but it’s not easy. Climbing Everest is also simple (just follow the path to the top) but it’s not easy. The vast majority of overweight people don’t have to ask someone at work how to lose weight as they know what it takes already, it’s just very difficult to implement.

OP, I hear you. Over the past few years I put on a large amount of weight through binge eating. I tried various times to lose it without success because I was still bingeing regularly. Over the past few months my mindset seems to have shifted and I have stopped engaging in that self-destructive behaviour. I have lost nearly 30lb and am no longer obese and I can see a healthy future within my grasp. I know everything about nutrition and calorie values and healthy eating. However, that’s worth nothing unless my mental issues are under control. That’s what I need to fight, not greed or laziness. I have to fight my urge to want to harm myself through vast quantities of food. That involves realising that I am worth more than that, that my body is worth much more than being stuffed with junk until it’s in pain and that I deserve to be healthy. I hope you can get your food issues under control too.

I'm aiming for short, sharp shock to kickstart things

I’d recommend against this by the way. It’s unlikely to work. It seems really tempting especially when you have a lot to lose but it’s not the solution. The only thing that works is finding a way of eating that you can do long term (that usually means substantially more calories than 1200) and being consistent. You won’t see much after 5 weeks unfortunately, so don’t just hang your hopes on that. You’re going to be doing this day in day out for many months before you see the changes you want. Consistency is everything - deficit every day and absolutely no cheat days for a long time. If you’re a chronic overeater, cheat days don’t work. Have a treat, yes, but make sure it’s within your calorie allowance or at least in your maintenance allowance. I could pack away 5000 cals in a binge day so they were a total no-go for me.

But basically no short sharp shocks. You’ve tried that already and it doesn’t work.

I've stuck to my guns and although it sounds a bit limp, 2 days is longest I have kept my eating under control in a couple of years.

31 days to my birthday. I'm making a series of small goals as the bigger picture is overwhelming.