I’m disgusting please help

[Beebers111]

I’ve just seen a video of myself. I look enormous. I’m 5’4 and a size 16, I weigh around 13.5 stone.

I didn’t realise how huge I look, in the video I’m eating dinner at a party and I look disgusting. I actually thought I looked ok and loved my dress etc.

Other people must think I’m repulsive.

Please help me what is the best way to get started and stay on it.

My first thing would be to please think about how you describe yourself. Punishing and hating yourself won't lead to any kind of healthy changes or happiness. I say this as someone who has been where you are and had to work on now I treat myself because it was just a vicious circle. I recommend the "train happy" book by Tally Rye. Covers everything from diet to exercise and more in a healthy way

I will have a look. It’s really pushed me into realising what I actually look like as opposed to what I’m seeing in the mirror

You’re not disgusting or repulsive. Please don’t say and think that about yourself! There is a lot of advice on here which I’m sure can help, but firstly, please adopt an attitude of self-care and self-kindness. Don’t punish yourself.

IMO you’ll need to find a type of exercise you enjoy and that fits with your lifestyle. View it as treating your body kindly by giving it what it needs.

Food wise it depends on your approach and what works for you but I advise eating small amounts of delicious, healthy food. Not diet food, not eating fruit and veg you don’t like or which are out of season. Use scales to check recommended portions, read ingredients lists. Aim for slow, steady weight loss. Think long term.

Give yourself non food treats. A massage, baths, a lovely new body lotion, a haircut, some new pyjamas or bedclothes.

Take care of yourself and you will be able to slim down without torturing yourself - you are worth it

I weighed the same as you at 5.3. I'm now just under 11 stone. I was calorie counting but lost the motivation and stopped losing. I joined Sw and found it really good. Never hungry and definitely eating healthier. I'd try that as a way to kick start the loss.

I’m describing the way I feel about myself. I haven’t mentioned anyone else.

I come from a family of very petite people and am pretty much the family joke.

Dread to think how you'd describe me if you saw me as I'm bigger than you.

I’m sorry I’ve offended anyone. This isn’t about how I view others. I’ll leave the thread now.

No, that's not fair. Almost all of us have a 'lightbulb' moment that kick starts us into losing weight, and often it's a photograph. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you find others repulsive at all. It's a sudden realisation of the reality of your own body.

Who here hasn't caught themselves in a mirror or shop window and thought 'shit, that's me'.

OP, I did it simply by cutting out the crap and doing loads of walking. Good luck!

Thanks for describing yourself and everyone above the average as repulsive OP, exactly what people struggling with their weight need to hear from someone average size.

But op is talking about herself , not you or anyone else. Many of us who have been overweight have that moment where you see a picture and you realise you need to address it. Op is overweight at that height and weight whether it's the UK average or not. So she is right to look into it but op the disgusting thing is not helpful. You need to look at sustainable lifestyle changes you can make to start dropping that weight down to a healthy level. Join on of the support groups on Mumsnet there is some good ones.

Come on, it's a bit tactless to describe size 16 as huge, enormous, disgusting repulsive. Unless op had no idea that others on a weight loss forum may be bigger than a size 16! If it was me posting I'd have either not mentioned the size or if i did I'd have dropped the descriptors.

But its not you posting is it. Its the OP and how she feels about her self not you, so unless you have something constructive to add, I literally don't see the point of you being on this thread other than for you to pick out something to be offended by. Some people....

OP Ignore them, you're clearly struggling and MN can be a safe place for vicious people to spew their vile thoughts on to others, but you will find some people on here that have been where you are, Myself included. That are willing to listen and help.
I tried everything in my power to lose weight and I was a size 18. 5ft 2 and nearly 14.5 stone. Did I feel I was repulsive. Fucking yes I did.

I did something about it. The only thing that worked for me was slimming world. I have a support thread running in the slimming world section if you want some further help. Good Luck OP you've got this.

The comments on here are out of line, she has not said that’s how she views all people her size. She’s said that’s how she views her self. Very different.

Op don’t let these people scare you off your own thread. They have their own issues, accept and don’t react.

If you want to loose weight you need to find a way of eating that works for you, there are so many options. Personally I like low carb, others prefer things like calorie counting, slimming world, meal replacement etc, it really is individual.

OP, i hope you come back to the thread. I think PP was being really unfair!

You are not disgusting in any way. You may be overweight but you need to see past that and realise that, overweight or not, there is much more to you than your clothes size!

You really need to work on your confidence. You need to love yourself to a degree to be able to take good care of your body.

If you are 13.5 stone, the likelihood is, you’ll be burning a lot of calories each day. My advice would be to make some healthy, sustainable changes. Don’t opt for diet versions of foods, they often only lead to more cravings. Fruit gets a bad rep for sugar but it’s actually really difficult to consume too much sugar from fruit. Your body needs and craves sugar and fruit is an excellent way to meet that need. Breakfasts like porridge, snacks like fruit & Greek yoghurt are a good start. Don’t restrict yourself too much. Just begin by making some good, common sense changes.

But above all else, appreciate and love your body. I don’t know you, or your life story but there are so many things to respect your body for, your health, your children and so on.

The reason why 95% of people on a diet gain the weight back and more within 5 years is that they think weight loss should happen quickly and they also think that losing weight needs to involve lots of rules and restriction. It truly doesn’t. Just using your common sense, making healthy changes and watching your portion sizes will work far better in the long run and you won’t feel deprived and resort to binging. Good luck OP!

OP I believe that beauty comes from within, life is not about how you look in a picture. Remember how you felt when you looked in the mirror and liked the reflection. Don't let a video take away from this.
People are most likely more concerned about their own appearance to notice yours. It's a sad fact but it is true.
The way you feel about your self shines through, and if you have beautiful thoughts you will see it shine out from every pore.
As long as you are healthy it doesn't matter how you look, you don't need to be thin to be desirable. Be kind to yourself.

I recommend *Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure” on BBC. It really is excellent.

What is it with so many people taking things out of context to make it all about themselves? Definition of professionally offended!

How dare you talk about how you feel? Don’t you know your feelings aren’t valid!!

Oh OP, please be kinder to yourself. Struggling with your body image is always difficult, and you're punishing yourself more by the way you talk about yourself. Think if a friend said this to you - how would you phrase your response? You would probably be a lot kinder and more supportive. Try to change the internal narrative - instead of "I'm disgusting" think more along the lines of "I'd like to change how I look".

I've been making big changes to my diet recently. It's easy for me because I love vegetables, and I found a salad place that does a salad I love and I try to copy at home. I've had a lightbulb moment (in my 30s!) that salad will only fill me up if I have lot of protein with it! Here's what's in the salad:

chicken
lardons (diced bacon)
goat's cheese
almonds
diced orange
dried cranberries
cucumber
sweet potato
mixed salad leaves
and I make a dressing with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and honey.

You can make an enormous salad from this and fill up on it at lunchtime. I don't mind eating the same thing/similar things every day, so I eat this for lunch and have a smaller meal in the evening because I'm full up from all the protein earlier in the day. I've lost 2 inches from my waist in 10 days!

If you want to try taking a little more exercise, there are loads of useful apps. The NHS 'C25k' app is a great starter. I also like to use Blogilates on YouTube for some simple pilates exercises in my living room. Cassie (the Blogilates owner) is really lovely and does all kinds of routines.

You've made the most important step - identifying that you want to make a change. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Agree with PPs on self kindness.

I have found it v helpful to focus on practical things to do with my time and habits to eat healthier, exercise and lose weight.

For example, I meal plan for the family and include lots of meals that are easy and v fast to make. I don’r buy foods I would binge on. I have certain “slots” in my week to exercise.

Weight loss is 70 or 80% food and the rest exercise, I have lost 25lbs but still find the former a big challenge!

Piss right off.

Totally unnecessary.

OP I feel your pain. I'm looking to make big changes too as I'm just so friggin uncomfortable in my own skin at the moment.

I recommend Miriam’s Big Fat Adventure” on BBC. It really is excellent*
Agree. Love Miriam Margolis. Very articulate and interesting

This is so sad that someone feeling so bad about themselves has been attacked and forced to leave their thread. What a shame, when we could have all given her some support to see that her view of herself was distorted and self-punishing and not about others but about a very harsh inner critic. Kicking someone when they’re down!

Please be kinder to yourself.
I hope you find some ways to eat & move that make you healthier and a more (mentally/physically) comfortable size.

Come back OP, ignore the arsey comments.