I need to change my brain before my body will change

[Newyearnewarse]

I have tried and failed for years to lose weight. And I am now the heaviest I have ever been.
It makes me sad and annoyed but I know if I don't change how my brain thinks that I will keep failing .

Does anyone have any suggestions of what could help ?
I have looked at some books but they do mostly come down to the simplicity of eating less and moving more.
Well if I could manage that I wouldn't be fat in the first place!

I have thought about how I use food and I think I use it too much as a treat. I need to really connect the idea that eating crap will make me look and feel worse.

All ideas gratefully received.

I've got a lot of weight to lose. I joined F45 six weeks ago. I'm down 5 kilos so far. Only another 35 to go!

I totally understand when you head is not there! F45 do 8 week challenges with a meal plan. The meal plan is free for anyone to use (you don't need to be an F45 member) - just download the F45 challenge app. The meals are interchangeable between all of the meal plans. I just go through the week and pick out what I like.

Sounds like you have identified the home time snack and evening alcohol as issues, so maybe you need to eat earlier, by doing the prep in the morning or the night before. Re drinking, get tough with yourself and say weekends only. I am in the same boat and my big derail is my sleep pattern, I have 1 or 2 nights a week where I can’t get to sleep, which affects melatonin and leads to weight gain, but also leads to midnight fridge raids. So I am trying to have really good sleep hygiene. Not there yet, but I don’t want to be fat any more, so have to keep going.

This podcast is very good OP - might be worth a listen when you’re in the car or out for a walk someday: Life Coach School. I found it really changed how I viewed my habits. Her Weight Loss Tools podcast is also worth a listen.

Bear in mind also you might have a sugar/carb addiction - I certainly felt withdrawal-type symptoms when I cut out a lot of the carbs I was eating.

Also I tried Noom and didn’t find it great - you can get much of the same functionality from My Fitness Plan for free. I didn’t really use the coach service much (it didn’t seem great) and the food database is very US centric.

I've just read Tiny Habits and it is such a good read - all about the science of behaviour and habits. It focuses on why some things are hard to do even though we know we ought to do them, and how this can change. It isn't a weight loss book, more behaviour and habit management in general but can apply equally to weight loss. I had lots of Aha moments when reading it especially the sections on why not to rely on motivation alone but instead to think about my ability to do something and whether i was prompted to do things at the correct time.

The essence is to start small and make new habits as easy as possible to do and stick to, so when motivation fades it isn't a disaster and you can keep on going. It isn't a quick route to overnight success but the idea is to set up repeatable habits that in time will produce the effect needed.

Thank you all , after saying I didn't want to sign up to anything I have signed up for the two week NOOM trial.
So far so good but I don't know if that is just the normal thing of being keen the first few days of trying to lose weight or whether it is actually NOOM making a difference.

I need to start small and build up rather than what I normally do which is strict cal counting and getting to the gym at least every other day. It is not sustainable for me which means I fail after a week or two and once I feel I have failed I find it really difficult to get back into healthy eating again.
One the Fuck it button has been pressed I am doomed!

OP, this is me exactly. I know I can lose weight. I must fave list my whole body weight over the last 30 years or so and regained it. I'm going to the gym but I just cant stop eating. Mine is comfort eating and to a degree self sabotage 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Every day I promise myself it will be different.
I'm going away for the weekend so all boys are off but come Monday I have to do have to try harder. Fancy being my diet buddy?

Stupid predictive text 🙄

Have a fab weekend and I will be here on monday when you get back.
It is so frustrating isn't it ?
If my DH thinks he has put on a few pounds he just cuts back for a week or two and then he is sorted.
Whereas I ignore it until I am fat and then get pissed off and try and change everything overnight and wonder why I fail !

Just seen your name 😂😂.

I’m placing marking but will be back at post at some point today.

Intermittent fasting. Lost 2 stone in 3 months and keeping it off. Shrinks your appetite. Watch Michael Mosley on 16 / 8.

Look into Paul McKenna’s I can make you thin book. It tackles emotional eating and self sabotage. I rate it very highly.

Join the Noom Facebook groups as they are great support. The best one is called unofficial Noom weight loss group and there's also a UK Noom group which is smaller

@Sexnotgender that book sounds good , what is your story ?

@Gemma2019 thank.you for that , I have joined.
Today is the first day I feel I have had a blip since I first posted. My plan is to get my arse moving tomorrow which should help.

First, don't torture yourself about not doing any exercise - weight loss is 80-95% down to diet.

Second, if real hunger is getting in your way, then think about following a low carb diet. That will suppress your appetite, because the three key hormones (insulin, grehlin and leptin) will be kept balanced - and it's hormones that control your hunger levels, not an empty stomach!

Third, look for ongoing, daily support. Look at any of the groups on here (and I'd recommend the Low Carb Bootcamp, obviously!) as you need to be able to share your ups and downs with others, so that you can stay on track.

Thank you BIWI I have tried low carb in the past and failed miserably so I am reluctant to do that again. I know it works but I was too miserable.

I do think my main thing is finding out why I choose to eat high calorie , low health foods when it makes me feel shite rather than lower calorie but healthy food that makes me feel happier.
It is a quandary for me.

I’ve never been massively overweight, max 2/3 stones. But I’m a short ass so carry it badly!
Managed successfully to get from 10.5 to 8.5 stone using the Paul McKenna system. I’ve been a bit lax in the last few years but still a comfortable size 12 and had a baby a year ago.
I’ve just restarted it properly and feeling great! I’m currently 10st 2 and aiming to be back in the 9s soon then down to the 8s.

Why were you miserable? Were you trying to cut too much stuff out?

Most people (once they're through the initial withdrawal day or two) feel much better!

BIWI I probably was doing too much too soon and that is one of the things I am trying to work on.
I tend to throw myself into a diet and exercise programme and all goes great for a week or so but it is not sustainable and then the Fuck it button is pressed and I give up.

Hi!
I really don’t know if this is a useful suggestion but what I find really helpful is scrolling through weight transformations on Instagram... I realise that insta is probably the antichrist of weight loss but it really helped me! Especially if you come across some good accounts where people show you their meals and exercises (don’t get suckered into the ones who have had surgery, weight loss pills etc).
The visual of seeing other people dramatically changed their bodies has inspired me somewhat!

Also agree do it step by step. I’m currently in a bid to loose 3 stone (probably 4 long term), and I spent the first 4 weeks slowly changing and reducing what I was eating and slowly introducing exercise.
I started mid jan and I’m over a stone down.
I find it very easy now to make the right choices, I think the cravings are too much if you do it overnight!

Thank you @Spanielsanddaughters

It sounds like you have/had a similar amount to lose.

I have been having a serious think this week and it is definitely my snacking and my portion size that I need to focus on . My meals are pretty healthy but I do love a salty snack.

I am pleased I didn't order the 4 pillars book. They had it in Tesco and after flicking through it I realise it is all a bit rubbish. Pretty obvious stuff. Not sure what I expected but it wasn't that.

Do you work or at home with kids?

I’m at home with 2 little ones and I used to just finish off their food without even thinking about it, and eat my own and snacking is so easy then.

I’ve made a leap this week by eating NONE of their food, not even a mouthful of porridge. But that has taken some serious willpower.

I work in a secondary school and there is always someone bringing in cakes or biscuits.
This week I have brought fruit in to eat instead which is helping but it is tricky.
My witching hour is between 4 and 7. we tend to eat dinner about 7.30 which is probably too late.

Look into not eating after 4 p.m. You get used to it and wake up hungry but at least you don't do that ransacking the biscuit tin when you come in in the evening.

If you are genuinely hungry you will want food not snacks.

One good thing about this way of eating is that you learn to recognise real hunger and you will want a decent breakfast and lunch.