Menopausal, massive, rapid weight gain and completely demotivated. What do I do?

[milliefiori]

Hi,
I'm fifty five, just recently menopausal after long perimenopause during which I gained weight. I hoped it would level out but I seem to be gaining even faster now.

My problems are that I have a sedentary job and I am an emotional eater. I never diet. I know I over eat and I drink alcohol most nights, though that's habit more than necessity. I give up in October and January.

Biggest problem is I have zero drive to diet. the idea depresses me. Not sure why. The thought of policing what I eat and being constantly hungry and grumpy just puts me off before I start. But if I carry on gaining like this, I'll become obese. I'm already very overweight. (5'3" and 11st 9lbs this morning!) I feel so down about it but don't know where to start. The house is full of ice cream, cakes and biscuits, chips and crisps all of which DH buys for himself and DC. He always stocks up on loads of alcohol too. I know I don't have to eat it but I am pretty weak willed and when it's there and I have a difficult day I just snack before I've even realised I've done it.

Open to any advice of any kind. I was shocked when I got on the scale this morning.

I do some exercise each week - a body combat class, flow yoga (the most challenging of all) hillwalking and kayaking, but work from home so the steps from bed to desk are almost non existent.

This thread has turned out to be so informative. I'm really grateful for all the info on cortisol and insulin. I have decided to give up sugar except for berries and home grown (not very sweet) apples. I am also giving up all refined carbs and alcohol. That's the start, to try and stabilise blood sugar. Giving up coffee would be hard. But I can try decaff.

I don't drink alcohol and I.dont eat sweet things like cakes and biscuits

But coffee is what I think I am going to struggle with but there is a sort of replacement with decaf.

Berries, banana, seeds and yogurt for breakfast

Large salad with avocados and eggs for lunch

Then a large lean green juice for dinner

Also going to try some supplements and see how I get on

No coffee yikes

If you drink a lot of coffee you WILL get withdrawal symptoms from the caffeine. So best to do it gradually - try substituting one cup a day with decaf and build up from there. Or half a teaspoon of regular coffee and half of decaf in each cup. Some people don’t like this and start substituting every second coffee with a totally different caffeine free hot drink, like mint tea.

See what works best for you. Just don’t do it cold turkey then be surprised that you get headaches or tiredness etc because you will.

Once my husband weaned himself off he discovered that so much of his anxiety at work wasn’t from work at all- it was mostly caused by the caffeine. He only has decaf now.

I sleep really well and don't have anxiety. I wonder if giving up coffee will be pointless for me.

I don't think coffee affects my sleep but do tend to drink it with breakfast or sometimes lunch rather than all day .

Giving up doesn't end in withdrawal symptoms for me ( DH and my son do suffer when they give up.)

No I've never had withdrawal symptoms either. Gave up for a while two years ago and felt no different

Can you try to factor in one 15 minute walk a day to burn off extra calories. Get a Fitbit then you can track your calories burned.

I have weaned my coffee habit down over the years. I was drinking 12+ cups per day at one point when I was much younger. Funnily enough I could sleep really well even if I had a cup before bed..

I like a cup first thing in the morning and I might have one mid afternoon. But that is all I drink now. Usually 1 cup and sometimes 2.

I also fast walk a 2.5 mile route 4-5 times per week.

It hasn’t made any difference to my weight.

Even just pottering around the house and garden I can easily clock up 6-7000 steps add in if I go out and I do my 10,000 steps with ease.

I had to show my doctor my fit bit stats to prove I wasn’t lying because no doctor believes that I am not mainlining doughnuts whilst sat on my bum all day.

Can you try to factor in one 15 minute walk a day to burn off extra calories

A 15 minute walk will 'burn off' about 45 calories.

olivers I am the same. Regularly walk 15000 steps a day including an hour and a half walking the dogs. Makes no difference to my weight. Probably makes me feel more energetic and mentally calm though

Get a standing desk? Or even if you're extremely brave a treadmill desk...

Seriously this is typical menopause. I got enormous and lost all interest in life. Eventually on the verge of 20 stone I got a gastric band and have been slowly losing weight. It isn't a miracle cure though. You still have to work at it.
You need to look at your whole life during this time. Chuck out what is old. Clear out your home. Decide what interests you and do it.
I got rid of my husband. Best thing I ever did.
At menopause you are standing at a cross roads. The old rules don't work any more. Your old life doesn't work any more.
I got my band divorced my husband, got a new job and moved to Somerset a lifelong dream and my motivation and happiness is flooding back. Sounds drastic but it worked for me.
Also think about HRT that makes a big difference

Oh God @madcatladyforever I'm not ready to let go of my husband quite yet (though I can see we do need to complete rennovate our marriage, just like our house, as it is a bit battered and scruffy and in a rut.) but i completely relate to the rest of what you are saying. I am barking for a complete change in life. I want to move abroad, change job, home, everything. DC are in final year of school and I am champing at the bit until they settle in their adult lives as I want to have some adventures a long way from UK.

I think it’s a natural halfway point (assuming we hope to live till we’re in our eighties) and I agree it’s a good time to look around and reevaluate life. I don’t think massive weight gain is inevitable but I know they talk about a natural thickening of the waist that goes along with the hormone change.

Get a standing desk? Or even if you're extremely brave a treadmill desk

I work in a physical job so am on my feet or knees or up a ladder most of the day.

This week I have been clearing a 1/4 acre plot in the hope I can get a new driveway laid.

I painted the outside of a house last week

madcatladyforever could your zest be put down to HRT. My doctors surgery won't prescribe HRT so it is a case of just struggling through

I don't know about a natural halfway point I am nearly 60 and started the menopause 4 years ago. At 40 I was pregnant

My doctors surgery won't prescribe HRT why?

Because it isn't their policy to prescribe HRT. Or something along those lines

I wanted it for my insomnia which started when I went into menopause.

Instead I have had to resort to DP getting 10mg tablets of melatonin from the US when he is over there.

I have a 4 year supply just incase he gets too incapacitated go at any time

It's not up to them. What a backward practice.

Manontry Years ago there was a comedy about a GPS practice.

Everyone who was under this surgery swore blind it was based on this surgery.

I have been to see a doctor and he has gone on Google to look up symptoms.

I have been because I have allergies and wondered if I could have a full allergy test done.
I have private health insurance so was wondering if they could refer me.

GP was adamant that there was no such test and anything I had seen on TV was fantasy. When I brought up that a few of my children's friends had a test done I was told they were lying.

It comes to the point that I think twice before going.

The latest incident was I had to go for a routine smear test.

The nurse insisted that I should be sitting up to give me the test. Wouldn't put the bed down.

She failed to do the test and this meant I was too old to have one and I had to see a doctor to see if anything could be done.

I haven't been back because she hurt me so much

I suppose it's insulting to wonder why you can't change practice?

Wish I could but they are a huge practice and have taken over most if not all the doctors surgeries around here.

I have looked and I did register at one point in another practice 2 places away and they took it over so I was back to square one.