Menopausal, massive, rapid weight gain and completely demotivated. What do I do?

[milliefiori]

Hi,
I'm fifty five, just recently menopausal after long perimenopause during which I gained weight. I hoped it would level out but I seem to be gaining even faster now.

My problems are that I have a sedentary job and I am an emotional eater. I never diet. I know I over eat and I drink alcohol most nights, though that's habit more than necessity. I give up in October and January.

Biggest problem is I have zero drive to diet. the idea depresses me. Not sure why. The thought of policing what I eat and being constantly hungry and grumpy just puts me off before I start. But if I carry on gaining like this, I'll become obese. I'm already very overweight. (5'3" and 11st 9lbs this morning!) I feel so down about it but don't know where to start. The house is full of ice cream, cakes and biscuits, chips and crisps all of which DH buys for himself and DC. He always stocks up on loads of alcohol too. I know I don't have to eat it but I am pretty weak willed and when it's there and I have a difficult day I just snack before I've even realised I've done it.

Open to any advice of any kind. I was shocked when I got on the scale this morning.

I do some exercise each week - a body combat class, flow yoga (the most challenging of all) hillwalking and kayaking, but work from home so the steps from bed to desk are almost non existent.

It's not rocket science. People eat cake because it tastes nice!It's not rocket science. People eat cake because it tastes nice!

Well, if you actually managed to stop eating refined sugar and stayed sugar free for at least a few months, you would find that cake no longer tasted nice once you broke the sugar addition. Indeed the confectionary would taste unbearably sweet, that would spoil any enjoyment. There have been studies involving MRI scans that showed no discernible differences in brain imaging between sugar consumption and substance abuse. Exactly the same areas light up, hah? But don't let the facts get in the way, carry on believing that people eat cake because it tastes nice. I am sure cigarettes do, too, for those who smoke them.

If you display such ignorance wrt to fasting, may I politely suggest you educate yourself. The benefits of fasting were big enough to warrant a Nobel Prize win for the researcher who discovered and described autophagy.

If you display such ignorance wrt to fasting, may I politely suggest you educate yourself

And here comes the cult bit.

I think what you believe, if its true or not, is what motivates people. I believe that weight loss is down to calories in calories out. Most of these diets are calorie restricted in some way.

I don't want special expensive carb free bread. I want a slice of brown bread with peanut butter and banana. Its a great breakfast and fills me up until lunch. I've lost half a stone so far limiting calories and will keep going. I do fast, but because its eaiser thst way.

The fact you are not aware of the benefits of fasting, clearly doesn’t stop you experiencing them.

As I said, benefits of fasting is the subject of Nobel Prize winning research. Doesn’t get more high profile than that.

Fasting is both about calories and insulin. Insulin is such a powerful hormone when it comes to weight gain.

I am close to your age and just into meno too (so I am full of sympathy for that hopeless despairing feeling) and I was heavier to start (middle aged spread added to my puppy fat).

In the yoga class last year I was the only one who had trouble even folding up into child pose (couldn't breath due to belly).

I am not Dr Michael Moseley but in my own experiments over the years I have tried: calorie counting (alone and with 'MFP' online), two very low calorie diets, GI counting, WW, Slimming World, 5/2, Bloodsugar diet.

None worked for more than a matter of 6monthsthough I did try very hard.

Menopause seemed to be all about further weight gain.

Luckily though, I tried a last experiment after some idle minutes reading about the latest fads. Having never heard of HFLC ( high fat low carb) I started with little enthusiasm and less hope. At least it didn't require signing up or buying anything.

Amazingly, it works for my life - is easy for to follow- doesn't leave me hungry or wanting everyone else's sweet treats (I too have to live with cupboards full of them ... and can't depend on will power) and has kept working since May 2018. (Low carb boot camp on here has been an amazing support. )

Anyway, there are many different ways of tackling weight loss/fitness. Why not try a few different regimes and see how they fit in with the life you want to live? There has to be one out there.

Definitely talk this through with your family. (Change is hard- especially for your DH -but it is possible and can be life saving).

I hope it doesn't take too long to find the right recipe to make menopause into your prime!

Wishing you success and a new and invigorated future. There is light ahead 😀

unbearably sweet,
I found that. I gave up sugar for a month (still lost no weight!) and soon found that vegetables tasted very sugary and sugary foods tasted disgusting, almost bitter. Sugar has a really unpleasant taste once you cut it out for a few weeks. But like all things that aren't good for you, it's easy to slip back into having it.

slice of brown bread with peanut butter and banana.

Sadly, it doesn’t fill me (and many other people). And I don’t fancy spending a few hours til lunch dreaming about food instead getting on with my day.

But you must love the idea of torturing people by means of calorie restriction, fat *@£ must suffer for their sins.

Not my way, soz.

@1Wildheartsease - I'm the same with yoga. Hate child's pose and even worse is the plough, which I used to love as it's such a good spinal stretch but I now choke on my own belly and boobs as well as feeling at having such a massive bum sticking up in the air.

Do you mind me asking how much you've lost on the low carb diet? It does seem to be the one everyone says works at our age.

Really interesting thread. I am feeling really motivated by it.

milliefiori so excited you love veg too! I even like braised celery. Vegetable stir fry with lots of ginger, chilli and garlic is my favourite meal. Most green veg has tiny amounts of calories. Once you have your plan in place you will start to lose the lbs and feel much better.

I follow low carb principles most of the time and lost 20 lbs. I rarely have pasta as once I start I eat vats of it. Bread is a couple of pieces per week. Potatoes is usually one baked potato per week or a couple of roasties on Sunday.

Milliefiori I am down by just under 50 lb!

I did start with the bloodsugar diet and that works for me too but is a bit too harsh (feels like dieting) for everyday life. (If there is a wagon, I will fall off it!)

Mumsnetter BIWI's 'Low carb boot camps' run for about 12 weeks. You can 'rest' between them but I now find I don't need/want to. (There are some great recipe threads. )

I drink at weekends (except in the first 2weeks of 'camp') and cook pretty normally but skip the boring bits of everyone else's meals. I cook cakes/ puddings for the family but have to get others to taste check them as everything tastes very sweet to me.

(I almost fit into a dress last worn before birth of my first child. )

But you must love the idea of torturing people by means of calorie restriction, fat @£ must suffer for their sins.*

That's quite an aggressive unnecessary thing to say.

A good slice of rough wholeneal toast, a good smear of wholefood peanut butter and a banana is the breakfast I like, it fills me up until lunch, I enjoy it so you can bog off with your low carb keto proselytising.

I am a few years ahead of you and the menopause I thought I had sailed through because I didn't have hot flashes instead gave me raging insomnia, my hair is falling out, my base of my spine feels more times than not as though there is a steel pole there instead of a spine and also the complete inability to lose weight.

I have been to the doctors about my weight and all I get told to do is to stop eating doughnuts, cakes and biscuits.

Given I have never eaten a doughnut in my life, I don't like the smell, I don't eat cake, I don't like the texture and I never eat biscuits I always come out feeling like it was a waste of time.

Anyway a few nights ago I was messing about on YouTube looking at different diets when I came across some videos on the menopause which described me to a tee.

As a very basic explanation when you go through the menopause your cortisol levels rise because the oestrogen that kept it in check has disappeared. Higher cortisol levels disturbs the production of Melatonin in the brain so giving you insomnia. Then it causes other problems with your insulin which leads to insulin resistance and then losing weight is a complete non starter.

It said it also led to hair loss and stiff back so all the symptoms that I had.

It is more about eating the foods that help to keep cortisol levels in check and abounding foods and drinks that promote cortisol levels. Caffeine is a definite no.

Also said there was a few extra vitamins that you should take.
Loads of videos all saying similar things.

Trying at the moment to get my head round it and organise a diet that is sustainable.

First day I stuck to it religiously and lost 3lbs, 2nd day I had 2 cups of coffee and substituted a Joe Cross Lean Green juice for a slice of vegan cheese between 2 rounds of bread and I put on 1.5lbs

I am going to try out decaffeinated tea and see what happens.

Not counting calories just trying to eat healthy and get a diet I can stick to long term which I can lose weight on.

Don't quote me on the ins and outs as it was 3am when I was watching the tv. But that was the general gist I took from it

Wow @1Wildheartsease - back in clothes I last wore before DC were born is unthinkable to me. I was 35lb lighter then.

@Oliversmumsarmy - that is so interesting. I think I might have high cortisol levels. I drink way too much coffee - love the stuff - and have thin hair. I might look that up.

@Riddleofthesands - that's inspirational too. I would be happy to lose 20lb. Very happy!

A good slice of rough wholeneal toast, a good smear of wholefood peanut butter and a banana is the breakfast I like, it fills me up until lunch, I enjoy it so you can bog off with your low carb keto proselytising.

Great for you! There are people who eat nothing but pizza and are thin as a stick. It doesn’t follow that people who have the propensity to put on weight should emulate that.

Obviously, there is an underlying issue. Some people eat whatever and nothing happens, others are punished for a single doughnut. Now the scientists and researchers seem to have pin pointed what that underlying issue is - overproduction of insulin linked to reduced insulin sensitivity. If you have got great insulin sensitivity, bully for you, aren’t you great! Some of us haven’t been born so virtuous.

Fortunately, now there are explanations and solutions to this conundrum other than ‘you are a glutton, stop eating all the time.’ I have done your way more times than I care to count and failed miserably every. single. time. Because I did not address the underlying issue. Which is not eating too much, by the way. My blood sugar needed to be regulated better by means of diet. Bingo! Don’t feel hungry anymore. Don’t binge on cake any more. Don’t need to count anything. Can live my life.

It is like a low carb diet but not as strict in some places and strict in others saying to avoid certain things.

Normally I have sugar in my coffee and I eat berries, and other fruits but after that I don't really think I have a sweet tooth.

Really struggling with the idea of giving up coffee and cheese sandwiches though. So I am going to get xylitol to put on my decaf and see what happens.

Sadly can't see a replacement for a cheese sandwich

And high cortisol triggers insulin production. They don’t know the exact mechanism yet, it’s just what they observed in the research subjects. Unfortunately, stress is cumulative and by the age of fifty, people are a lot more stressed than 20-year-olds. Poor sleep triggers cortisol and consequently, insulin. Caffeine messes with sleep. Caffein has got a long life, unfortunately, it takes 6h for half of the dose to dissipate and another 12 hours for the remaining 50 per cent.

So menopause is a perfect storm really.

From what I understood was that your body produces a certain amount of cortisol but before you go through the menopause the oestrogen you produce keeps the levels in check and cancels out the cortisol but take away the oestrogen at menopause and cortisol is left to flourish unchecked and has a negative impact on other parts of the body.

Agree about cortisol. Ive been on HRT for around six months now. Went to the Marion Gluck clinic in Surrey as I wanted to ease into the menopause, not crash into it. Cortisol was one of the things he mentioned.

Re the working from home I do too. From next Monday I’m taking a five minute break once an hour and will build in some exercise a few times a day. Eg in one break a minute of jumping jacks, squats and tricep dips. Another time a minute of lunges etc etc. Gets the heart rate up at least and makes me feel better at the end of the day.

The cortisol thing is interesting!

-Stiff back led me to yoga
-and I'm pretty sure that the reason LCHF seems to be the only way- for me- to lose weight, is down to insulin.

I had gestational diabetes and was encouraged to a LCHF diet during pregnancy -It was like LCHF bootcamp but with more whole-grains. It meant that much of my 'pregnancy weight gain' occurred after the actual births and during breast-feeding ( when I went back to 'normal eating'). Why oh why didn't I realise this then? Sigh.

Due to a slightly obsessive nature, I'm really good at counting/weighing/measuring and sticking to the rules of various diets exactly, for about 3 months and yet always see a great start to weight loss followed by a steady stalling. Everyone nods knowingly, talks about 'calories in and calories out' and tells me that I'm cheating/not weighing my food properly etc. I have no way to explain that I am sticking to the plan and that something isn't working. I also feel tired and cold.

Stalling happens on LCHF - occasionally and can be for some weeks - but then weight loss continues again even if I change nothing. I can probably eat more than I actually need even on this plan, but keeping an eye on that doesn't require desperate measures or extreme will-power.

wildheart I was exactly the same. Followed diet plans to the letter and I’d lose about 5lb and no more. I honestly think I have issues with my insulin. I don’t know if I’m insulin resistant but it was interesting that I failed the short gestational diabetes test when pregnant with DS1 but on retesting with the longer protocol I passed.

I seem to react very strongly to sugar. So I avoid.

That is interesting @sheshootssheimplores. I always thought that we couldn't ALL be quietly/accidentally cheating ourselves on diets that should work but then don't.

Telling a Doctor that you haven't been eating more than the diet allows is like trying to persuade them that you really do drink the amount of alcohol that you claim to and not lots more!