Just seen my holiday countdown and realized I won't wear a bikini...I need help!

[sadkoala]

I am around a size 14 so not huge but I do not feel comfortable in my own skin at all since having DCs. I feel like I am not myself and it makes me feel so sad.
Seeing myself in a recent photo I was tagged in has made me feel like I am looking at a stranger.

I used to be very active about 5 years ago and a size 8-10, now my stretch marks look terrible, my boobs are gone thanks to BFing and my belly is saggy and spilling over my jeans...

I have about 8-10 kgs to loose which I know is not realistic given my holiday is in 35 days but I feel like I need to loose at least SOMETHING. To tone up. Feel better about myself and maybe even brave a bikini I have been eyeing up.

What do I do and where do I start if I want to make a noticeable difference in a month?
I can workout at home when LO is asleep and potentially carve out one morning a week for something else/class/run.
I have also already started a dance fit class one evening a week for 45mins.

Can anyone throw any advice my way?

Give up carbs between now and your holiday - it will make a massive difference. There are loads of low carb threads on here. Good luck x

Look up some HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workouts. There are plenty on YouTube for free, The Body Coach/Joe Wicks ones are good. 20 minutes or so each so easy to fit in if you have a spare half hour. Daily or as often as you can for a month should give you some results for your holiday.

Thank you I will look them up. I think I also have to really work on my diet, I can only eat veggies if they are cooked, for some reason I can't eat them raw which I know is bad but I will have to work with what I've got.

I really want to do this now.

Aw I felt like this after having DD too but as well as low carbing and doing some HIT sessions, I also swear by a really decent swimsuit with good bust support and getting a spray tan the day before flying- makes a huge difference to my confidence levels.

OK I've just come back from shopping and haven't bought any biscuits or sweets apart from some rice cakes with chocolate on top for my boys and lentil crisps for DPs lunches.
I've bought lots of lentils I plan on using to substitute pasta and potatoes in my diet is that OK?

Also bought natural yogurt, honey and nuts to have instead of sweets to treat myself.

Not sure if I'm heading down the right route.

I will be trying the workouts from tomorrow, daily or at least every other day.

Lucy Wyndham-Read on YouTube has some good 7 minute HIIT workouts. I have been doing two per day and I really think they make a difference.

Careful with the honey - it's just another type of sugar. Plain yoghurt and nuts are good though.

Thanks @flobella

And @Eattothebeat I know it's not great but to be honest I've been having so much sugar in everything coffee,tea, toast with Nutella, snacking through the day on chocolate and biscuits etc that I know I won't be able to just go completely cold turkey on it all.
I thought maybe using a bit of honey would be a better alternative to trying to raid the snack cupboard afterwards in search of a sugar hit?

Or should I just cut it all out?

I went on holiday in the summer to a European island as a size 18 and wore a bikini. I was around middle sized compared to every one else and frankly neither me nor no one else could have given a damn.

I also live in a place where I swim everyday. In a bikini. As a size 18 and now a size 14/16 again I can't give two shits and Noone even looks never mind judges! I don't like the way I look but I know that no one else cares and it's not going to stop me! In fact it's the women of any size who look self conscious and covering up or cowering behind towels or loads of clothes who stand out like sore thumbs. Being confident, comfortable and going with it if far more important for appearance than weight.

It can be hard to come to terms with a changing body.

As @NakedAvenger said, most people just aren't bothered. And any that are will be wrestling with their own hang ups.

By all means, incorporate some movement into your routine (preferably exercise you enjoy) and eat what makes you feel good. But also be a bit kinder to yourself. This body is the only one you have and it has done, and will do, amazing things.

Punishing and unforgiving regimes may work in the short term. But long term it is important to approach body image from a place of self care and love. You can wear a bikini at any size if you wish.

First of all you are a size 14 that's not big in the slightest. I felt like this after having my first DD (also a 14) so I went to slimming world and there were people aiming to be my size ! It's all relative and believe me when I say no one will notice or care as much as you do. Get a well fitting bikini and nice cover up you'll be fine.

I have recently started using My Fitness Pal on my phone to track what I'm eating - it has been so helpful to see where the calories go. I'm very much of the 'eat less, move more' mindset to lose a bit of weight. I like food and don't want a rigid eating plan. I've lost about half a stone in a month by making a few small changes.

To PPs mentioning that it's not big and it's about confidence etc.
As I mentioned in my OP I know I am not huge but this has been a long time coming and I know I just do not feel good about myself as I am now, I know some people feel confident no matter what and people come in all shapes and sizes as its up to them what makes them happy.

But I know my current body is making me very unhappy, I might not look like I want to for the holiday but at least I will give it my best shot and I want to carry on even when I get back.
I'm sick of trying things on and putting them back on the rack because they just don't look how I think they should on me.

I think your aims are totally sensible OP. Good for your long term health and for your confidence if you approach it in a balanced and sustainable way for the long term. I have recently lost a load of baby weight but went further and am now maintaining at about half a stone lighter than I've ever been. Although it's not that much it is a huge difference for me in how my clothes fit and the range of clothes I can wear. I'm eating better more healthy food (so better example for my dc) and have lower risk of health problems (eg diabetes, heart etc) for later life. I found that once I had shifted the bulk of the weight through following fairly strict calorie/SW limits, the writing of Gillian Riley helped me. All about having free choice to do what you want (rather than the guilt you feel when dieting) and trying to approach each food decision being mindful of the consequences. Also the Paul McKenna approach of mindful slow eating, enjoying the things you want, only eating when you're hungry etc. All common sense stuff really but you really have to have the determination of someone who is focused on making a long term change - which it sounds like you do. Oh and a final thought. Remember it's 80% diet 20% exercise. So you can do all the exercise you want but if you are still filling up on sugar then you will not lose as much as if you really control calorie/sugar intake. Especially if you have limited time to workout I recommend that you treat not snacking between meals as the equivalent of a workout, for example. Good luck!

If you can go without honey or reduce it it will make a big difference as once you are not addicted to sugar your appetite will shrink as most sugar addicts mistake sugar addiction for hunger. Raspberries or blueberries are ideal when you have a sugar craving - much better than honey as they don’t send your blood sugar soaring.

Oh I know what you man about your body confidence changing after kids.

I would go totally no bread, no pasta for the rest of the time between now and then. But you can eat potatoes and rice. Don't eat lentils as you will bloat.

I looked up exercises on Pinterest when I wanted to tone my arms recently and I started doing the plank as part of it - and guess what, it totally toned my tummy!!! And I have a major tummy issue after 3 DC where my muscles did not get back together so I always have a big tum.

So I hope this helps you. Also, buy the nice bikini you love and get a spray tan - I'm amazed at how much this helped my on the last two holidays, to arrive nice and brown made it easy to get into a bikini.

Good luck and enjoy. And remember, you can always do a longer term plan when you get home.

you mean!!!!!

Agree with others, I've lost 6 stone in 6 months just cutting out bread, potatoes, pasta rice and the usual junk. It just melts off and makes the body an efficient fat burning machine! Curbs your appetite too. You could lose a stone easily in a month.

Don't go nuts on nuts if you want to lose weight!
Have max 7 almonds or walnuts and not roasted with salt or sugar please!!

Boil a kg of green beans and eat those when you feel like munching on something.
Frozen blueberries or frozen raspberries, eaten frozen are a nice substitute for sweet stuff.

You need to eat seriously less to lose weight in a short amount of time.
Stay away from sweeteners so no light hot choc, diet coke, light yogurt, and go for real food. Health junk food such as lentil chips is still junk food.
Have eggs with spinach or 2 table spoons of rolled oats with 2 table spoon of grounded flaxseeds for breakfast,
take a soup to work in a flask and in the evening have a grilled chicken breast, a steak, a piece of white fish, with cauliflower, oven roasted brussel sprouts, or any other veggie you like.

Well I am trying!

I am a huge sugar addict and gave in and had a piece of DSs Easter egg today and feel super guilty but in the past I'd be having biscuits or chocolate or some other type of treats I'd pick up when I nip to the shops (and I would often polish off the full packet within the day) so at least I haven't done that.
Still feels like crap to have slipped up so early on...

I have cut down on my portion sizes and trying to be very mindful of what I eat and snack on throughout the day, did a HIIT today and planning to do them everyday when DS2 goes down for a nap through the week.

I am also not having any pasta or potato - question - is sweet potato ok? I had salmon and some sweet potato for dinner yesterday but not sure how good that is?

Hi OP

I sympathise, I look awful and I go on holiday exactly 5 weeks tomorrow and feel really bad about it. It sounds like I am bigger than you but I know what you mean about confidence regardless of size, I'm trying to motivate myself to give it my best go between now and my holiday but feeling low after so many false starts lately.

xx

I think it's fine to have sweet potatoes as long as you portion control/log them as part of your calories. But to an extent it depends what sort of plan you're following. If you're doing proper low carb then sweet potatoes won't sit well alongside the high fat items you're allowed on that sort of regime. For me having sweet potatoes, and even limited amounts of real potatoes, didn't negate my weightloss. I'm a massive chocolate addict and still have a teeny tiny bag of fun size maltesers (within my calorie allowance) every night with a cup of tea. Then I go to bed happy!

Changing habits is very hard, especially giving up food that has been engineered with the sole purpose to make us crave it.
Cold turkey usually works. Give up chocolate and crisps (even the 99 cal packet) for a whole week.
If you really need a piece, have a thumbnail size piece of 85% chocolate. Otherwise, it is more the sugar you are craving.

You don't need to snack, it is something very British I noticed living here and there. French women do not snack and we have dinner far later than you. Of course it may happen that one day for some reason we eat something, but not usually. And it is more likely to be real food, such as something from a patisserie, than something that comes in a wrapper or a junk food outlet.

Try to abandon the industrial and fried food. Fill up on massive salad and do your own sauce as said cream or other sauces are full of sugars and additives. Add some lentils to your salads or can of tuna in water (not oil) and you are good for the afternoon.

Break the habits. Do you usually have a biscuit or whatever at a certain point of the day or while doing a certain thing (tv, MN,....), make it a thing to only eat sitting at a table and eating with a fork and knife. You wouldn't eat crisps with a fork.

Especially if you have kids, make it a family habit. to eat real food, sitting down.

You are not only dieting. You are changing your lifestyle forever, otherwise the second you go back to eating the way you did, the weight comes back up with usually a big bonus.

Right now you have a goal, your holiday, so you are more drastic, but I would recommend, change lifestyle, adopt the Mediterranean diet, eat more plants and not what comes out of a factory plant.

Read the ingredients. Anything over one line, leave it on the shelf. Anything you wouldn't be able to do in you kitchen without huge machines breaking down the components, leave on the shelf.

Exercise to tone up will make a huge difference to the way you feel about your body.

Cold turkey usually works. Maybe it does for some but not for others- there is no one size fits all. There are a variety of reasons for why people overreat.