AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

Ah well done! Sometimes having a time limit/permission to stop makes it easier to start.

Definitely up for self care (I think it’s all part of health really), though I’m suspicious of the tidy desk/mind thing and prefer Einstein’s take on that one (“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” )

Hello!

What a great idea for a thread! I’ve been lurking a bit on here and wanted to say hello.

I am feeling very frazzled and unhealthy at the moment. I have a baby and an older child (preschooler) too. I desperately need to start making some healthier choices.

So, as of right this second, I’m trying to do things like cutting right back on sugar, caffeine, alcohol (though I’m bfing so don’t drink that much anyway, but when I do I go a bit mad* so I can pump & dump without feeling it’s a waste ). I’m also going to try and cut out gluten. Not because I think I’m gluten intolerant, but just because I tend to overeat bready things and pasta.

I’m also going to put down my smartphone. I will check in on MN later this evening or tomorrow morning if I can hold off! It’s too addictive . Plan is to tead my book instead.

Drink more water, eat more veg and do some yoga (I’ve d/led the Down Dog app - thanks for the recommendation at the beginning op)!

Re MH / self care; I have also having some low moments recently. Just feeling very tired and homesick. I also lost some close family members fairly recently and I really miss them at the moment and this seems more pronounced as I do not get on very well with my in-laws who live about an hour away from us, whereas my family are overseas. Sorry, bit of a ramble there, rather than a hello!

Hi Penelope !

All sounds good to me (except I am a pasta fiend and have no plans to stop, so respect there!). I’m breastfeeding too and tend to stick to 2 units a week not on the same night, rather than pumping and dumping. Means I’ve got good at making my 1 G&T really fancy (cucumber garnish with mint leaves and juniper berries? Don’t mind if I do ) and truly appreciating it.

Verbena That Einstein quote made me snort with laughter. My desk is very very tidy in the first few months of sitting around with lattes contemplating the world and being a poncy humanities prat, and then all hell breaks lose when I actually have to produce an essay 😂

Heya Penelope! Love your username 💕 Sorry to hear you've been feeling rubbish and sorry for your losses - we really are all here for you, you can always share whatever you want and we'll try to make you feel better. Sounds like you've got a good plan, and I hope you enjoy Down Dog. Be gentle and kind to yourself and hopefully things will look brighter soon.

Decluttering sounds like a great idea 👍 I really need to do my wardrobe - I tell myself this regularly and never get round to it. I’ve actually still got clothes that I wore 20 years ago in the misguided hope that I will ‘one day’ fit back into them lol 🙈 Maybe it’s time to be a bit more realistic!

I did Pilates earlier which was lovely. Think it will be easier when it’s back to school and back to the old routine next week.

Well done on your weight loss Liquorice it’s always a boost when someone asks if you’ve lost weight

Oops - somehow missed the last page of the thread. Think i’m caught up now.

Hi Penelope Sounds like you’ve got a good plan of action there. Not sure I could cut out gluten completely (though my DH is coeliac so we often have gluten free pasta as it’s easier) but I’ve limited my bread intake quite a bit. Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time and hope things improve

Your G&T sounds amazing Verbena I treated myself to a pink gin and lemonade last night

Pixie You've got clothes that are older than me if thats any motivation to have a sort out! 😂 just done yoga so feeling all nice and calm. For now!

Wardrobe sort out is great pixie; I’m stripping mine right down and then gradually sewing myself stuff that is beautiful and fits properly. Have stopped buying clothes this year and just focussed on getting rid and deciding what I need, what I love, and doing bits of dressmaking as required. It’s utterly liberating.

koko a bit of that mentality makes sense, but just scale it back. I’ve got one small drawer of ‘just in case/future’ which has non-breastfeeding things and the best maternity clothes, then also my wedding dress, a 1940s silk dress and a ball gown of my granny’s from 1951 which I’ll probably never get into again but each is so beautiful they’re worth having just as objects anyway.

My rule is if it makes me feel even slightly shit about myself when I look at it, it goes. Life’s too short for uncomfy clothes with uncomfy self esteem issues attached!

(And dressmaking is a brilliant thing to do. The Tilly &the Buttons ‘cleo’ dress is a pretty simple place to start. Loads of inspiration on instagram - search #sewcialists)

I am just about to start making decorations for our camper (Peacock)

Bunting and a flag and cushion covers to start, but excited to be getting into clothes making!

Haha Af sounds like I definitely need a sort out. Not sure I can get my ‘maybe one day’ stuff into one small drawer though Verbena - that’s really good going.

I would love to be able to make my own clothes too. I don’t spend much on clothes and absolutely love charity clothes shopping for bargains. Charity shops and old book shops, and i’m in my element

Koko
Same here, I am going to start with bunting as this is pretty simple as far as seeing goes, need a good 10/15 metres so I imagine I will be a dab hand at sewing once I’ve got that right! Then will do a flag, which will be slightly more complicated and involve silks, then cushions (fleece) and a throw.

So lots to do but I’m confident I will do it well if I focus on something simple first

Good luck all you lovelies about to embark on new projects! Definitely keep us updated, sounds so exciting!

I confess to definitely not being one of those people who's good at seeking out a charity shop bargain, although I wish I was! I have a deep and long lasting affection for Primark, which is usually cheap, but not in the quantities I buy 😂 my spending senses are itching just thinking about all the lovely autumn winter stuff about to come out...

What's everyone's plans for today? I'm hopefully going out for a posh Italian lunch.

Charity shops are great for fabric, just buy a couple of enormous old lady dresses and upcycle them

Loving all the creativity here!

Sewing tips...

Start with a non-stretchy garment first. Sewing stretch fabrics is trickier.

Cheap fabrics: local markets are great, Abakhan is fab if you’ve got one locally, Minerva crafts online have a huge range of fabrics at a big range of prices and you can order samples to cop a feel before you commit, and camel is right about charity shops.

Expensive-but-gorgeous fabrics: merchant and mills, Lamazi fabrics

Pattern companies who do wearable designs and nice clear instructions: Tilly and the Buttons, Sew Over It, By Hand London. I like the look of some of the Closet Case stuff too but haven’t tried them so not sure how user friendly they are.

Patterns for kids: haven’t made any as I tend to knit for him instead but Brindille and Twig are meant to be good.

And as someone already mentioned, sewing hands are not mindlessly-eating-biscuits hands, so, you know, it is relevant

Verbana what’s the best fabric for cunting bunting?

And any tips on silks for flags?

I'm up for a bit of self care. I went for a hot stones massage last week and it was fabulous. I've had other massages in the past but it was fantastic. It felt as though the therapist was able to get deep muscles to relax. I've also been trying to walk at least 10,000 steps a day and our kids are back at school so I've been able to get back to my exercise classes and feel better for doing so. No real change yet in the scales, but I find I don't want to eat as much rubbish when I've been taking care of my body so I expect I'll see changes soon.

Good job apples! I've been thinking of booking a massage before - never had one but they do sound amazing.

camel you want woven cotton for the cunting bunting - quilting cotton is good.

I’ve never done a flag so I’m not sure - dress lining fabric is often light and silky and might be suitably fluttery?

Dress lining might be a win! I need it peacock colours, so I’ll keep my eye out