AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

Hey Tommy! Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish 😔 if this is just about feeling you've failed on getting healthier, don't worry about it! Draw a line under the past and pick a date where you're going to start again with renewed enthusiasm. It won't have done you any significant harm to go back to old bad habits for a week or so - the important thing is that you remember why you wanted to get healthy in the first place, and then spend as long as possible working towards that before you need to take a break again. Needing a rest and to take a break from the pressures of "I've got to eat healthy, I've got to exercise" is totally normal, you haven't failed. If there's other stuff in your life making you feel like this too, try to speak to someone understanding in your life, they'll be able to help much better than we can over the internet, I'm sure. I really hope you feel better soon, lovely 💕 Be gentle and kind with yourself and don't expect too much of yourself. Just do your best, whatever that is today.

Thank you af

It's the drinking more than anything else, got a letter form the local recovery partnership I contacted with a number to call so going to call them back today.

Hopefully they can help Tommy 💕 I believe there's quite a lot of threads on here too with people going through similar things to you, so maybe have a nosy around and see if you can find some lovely supportive people (a bit like us, but more experienced!) 🌟

Lovely last swim yesterday morning - family in with kayaks too so lots of silliness and splashing about. But then a huuuuge journey home (tractor, boat, plane, bus, car. Uuuugh!) in which I ate junk continuously because it was so boring. However, saw myself in a full length mirror for the first time in 2 weeks and the sun and swimming have left me brown and stronger, so feeling good in my skin anyway.

camel that sounds great, enjoy!

tommy I was about to advise seeking outside help, but you’re already on it. Make the call today, and stop feeling shit. You’ve recognised a problem and you’re actively taking steps to solve it - would you tell a best friend they were doing a shit job if they were in your shoes? Or would you see that they’re doing all the right things, put the kettle on, and give them a hug?

Kicking alcohol is really hard - it’s addictive. Don’t expect yourself to be magically able to do it on your own when effective help is out there. Xx

Glad you're feeling good Verbena, that's the main thing! Having a proper bath and pamper session today despite the heat, just because it makes me feel so much more relaxed. Got a big bowl of fruit to munch on in the process!

Sorry to hear you’re feeling down @tommytimmy It’s good you’ve recognised you need support & that you’re taking action to sort this - that’s a huge step forwards

Not sure how to put people’s names in bold? Is there a special button you press? I only know how to tag lol.

A pampering session sounds lovely @argumentativefeminist

I’m finding it very weird not having any scales to weigh myself. I have no idea what’s happening with my weight at all It’s liberating, but also a little scary!

Pixie you put an asterisk (lil star *) around both ends of the word with no spaces. I do it instead of tagging bc I can only remember usernames if I shorten them to one word 😂 not hungry for lunch even though I was so excited for sweet potato, beans and a fried egg - definitely think there's a virus on the way! Picking at fruit and not letting myself get hungry though. Probably a takeaway tonight when brother is back so hopefully will have some appetite for that!

Anyone else finding the school holidays difficult? Our kids broke up five weeks ago and I was doing quite well during the school term (had lost half a stone by being a bit more active and making more sensible food choices). I'm sure I've put it all back on though over the holidays as I haven't been able to exercise with the kids being around all the time and we've all been eating more junk.

O.k testing, testing AF Hope this works as you have a long username lol

Just had a prawn cocktail salad with hardly any leaves & lots of the good stuff: tomatoes, beetroot, peppers, avocado & cucumber. Does anyone else find that you tend to mainly get leaves when you order a salad out?

applesandpears I find being out of routine trickier. If i’m not at work it’s so much easier to snack & it’s more difficult to choose another lunch at work if I don’t like what i’ve brought in from home.

Yay! Bold success! 👍 Thanks AF In danger of overusing it now lol

Well done Pixie! Yeah way too much leaf in a restaurant salad! I dont really like the leaves and it takes so so much of them to make one portion of 5 a day so I can't see the point of them!

Morning all, got struck with a good intolerance yesterday so had a rough day as I had to work regardless. So spent the day on my feet with terrible nausea and ate just what I could manage.

My legs are killing me from work these days so just yoga today I think.

I weighed myself yesterday (whyyyyyyy????) and have not lost a single pound. Disappointing but not entirely surprising. In the past I had to practically starve myself to lose weight which is why I was always so unhappy with diets. I just hold onto weight, don't know why.

Have to tell myself it's not all about weight......but it's a lot of it, isn't it?

Sorry to hear you've had a tough few days Elspeth! I've never noticeably lost weight I in my life - I tend to think about how much healthier I must be inside now I'm not having fried food multiple times a day and my heart is getting some exercise. So maybe try thinking of that instead of your weight? 💕

How old are you Elspeth? I'm 47, and hoping it's not too late to lose weight before it becomes (apparently) impossibly with the menopause.

I'm off to my hypnotherapy session today, will report back later. Fully expecting to be a serene size 8 by tea time.

Good luck Agatha! I'll be signing up if that's the results 😂

Going into holiday mood early to try to get over this virus in time for actual holiday on Monday! So the next week and a bit will be pretty much a write off for me in terms of exercise and healthy eating, but I'm going to try not to go mad. Maybe actually sharing the sharing platters in the restaurant would be a good start 😂

I know calorie counting isn't for everyone but it really is the basic maths that weight loss is based on.

To me, trying to lose weight without dealing with calorie counting is like trying to drive at 30mph without looking at the speedometer.

Agatha I'm 43, so not really worried about the menopause yet tbh but there's definitely a realisation that the years are passing and being overweight isn't just temporary anymore.

You know when you first put on a stone and it takes a few years and you barely notice and you go up a size but it's no big deal really? I was like that all through my 30s. Couldn't wear really tight tops but didn't mind too much. Figure was still OK. Kept meaning to get back to normal weight but life was just so busy. Still looked decent going Out Out.

Then I had two babies in 2 years and BOOM! Another stone. And suddenly you realise you're 2 stone heavier than "normal" and simultaneously realise that the last time you were your "normal" weight was probably a decade ago!

Elspeth - I can identify with a lot of your post, except with my I put on a stone with each pregnancy and am now three stones overweight. I've decided to try and make reasonably good food choices over the next few weeks until the end of the school holidays and then I can get back to exercise. In the meantime, I've go a pedometer on my watch and am aiming for at least 10,000 steps per day.

What are everyone's favourite healthy breakfasts? I'm getting a little bored with toast and cereal.

I'm glad you ladies have found other people that share your experiences - I wouldn't be very useful with the post baby stuff! 😂

Breakfast ideas:-

Porridge with a big handful of berries chucked in (I have them in the freezer, they can go in frozen with the cold milk and it’s cheaper than buying fresh), spoonful of yoghurt and nuts and seeds on top. Super quick and what I do for work mornings - if you microwave it’s just one bowl and spoon to wash.

Muesli, fruit, and plain yoghurt.

Poached egg, whole meal toast and tomatoes/spinach/mushrooms/avocado if you’ve got a bit more time.

Realised reading that we do a lot of stuff homemade eg have a bread maker and barely buy bread, so it’s always low in salt, sugar free, and doesn’t have additives to keep it fresh like supermarket bread. Ditto muesli.

Overnight oats are ok too.

Thanks Verbena! I really want to start making my own bread again!

I don’t really make it myself (husband does and is a great baker but if I’m baking I want cake at the end ) - we got a Panasonic breadmaker 10 years ago and despite using it at least 3 times a week it’s still going strong. Takes less time to sort out than walking to the shop and aldi have great flour for cheap.

I like the Quaker microwave porridge sachets. You just add milk and put it in the microwave for two minutes. As it is already measured out I'm not tempted to make myself a huge bowl.