Time to get healthy (CW: Eating disorders)

[hummusscot]

Right.

I am 21 years old and TTC #1. I am also 12 stone and 5 foot, placing me above 35 on the BMI. I have joint pain which is a mix of fibromyalgia and weight gain I think. I am incredibly unfit.

As a child I was skinny and as a teen I was skinnier due to anorexia and an abusive mother that refused to feed me properly. I put on about 5 stone within the space of two years and I am very annoyed at myself.

I would like to get down to 8 stone and I have no idea where to start. I have a gym membership but I'm too scared to go because everyone there is already fit and healthy and I feel disgusting. I can't afford a personal trainer and I really don't want to do weight watchers for various reasons. I am currently working on my eating (I binge ate a lot) and am vegan and eat reasonably healthy now although still not there yet. I guess it's the exercise which is the biggest problem here, I get out of breath so easily and so quickly. Help?

Most experts that weight loss is mostly due to diet not exercise so to lose weight its more important to eat healthy than exercise. Have you had any help or counselling with your ED history?

For fitness could you start by going out walking to get a bit fitter, gradually increasing pace & distance, its very easy and gentle way to improve fitness, then you might feel a bit more confident about the gym?

Another option is to start with some gentle classes, so Pilates type exercise, Zumba is good too, as you follow the instructor but you can go slower, plenty did that when I went to Zumba, people of all shapes & sizes and varying fitness levels.

Check your gym subscription to see if you are entitled to any free personal training sessions - I'm with a cheapo £15 a month gym and am allowed 3. If you aren't using the gym at all, I would urge you to cancel your membership because it's just another thing that will make you feel bad. But lots of people at the gym will have been in your shoes and they won't be judging so please consider going (maybe at quieter times if you still feel self conscious). It doesn't take much to improve fitness and once you get started, you will be encouraged by the small gains you see.
@MrsPMT is right that weight loss is more about diet than exercise and I also think help or counselling may be a good idea. Good luck!